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Subscribe to RSSTODAY's Ann Curry talks with Sharon Chanon Valazquez, one of the teens charged with criminal harassment of Phoebe Prince, who committed suicide on Jan. 14, 2010.
Parents pursuing justice for the suicide death of their 15-year-old daughter in Massachusetts settled with the school district for $225,000, newly released court documents say. The documents were unsealed after a Slate reporter pursued the matter in court.
The report marks an end to legal proceedings in the case of Phoebe Prince, who hanged herself after months of persistent bullying by other students. Prince's case captured headlines not only in the United States but dominated front pages in Ireland, which was her home until Fall 2009. Like other high profile bullying cases across the country, Phoebe’s death has an ongoing impact on school policies and anti-bully laws.
These cases "have done an enormous amount to sensitize and activate the public about the issue of bullying… more than research and anything else that has got people thinking about the issue,” said Amanda Nickerson, director of the Alberti Center for Bullying Abuse Prevention at the University at Buffalo Graduate School of Education. “I think they have accelerated policy and action at the school and community level.”
Prince enrolled at South Hadley High School as a freshman in Fall 2009, after moving to the United States from Ireland, but quickly fell afoul of a set of girls who apparently were angry about the newcomer dating two male students. Other students, including one of the guys she dated, joined in the harassment.
Over the course of three months, Prince was verbally abused — publicly and in Facebook posts. She was threatened with physical abuse and received hostile text messages. On the last day of her life, Jan. 14, 2010, some of her tormentors drove by in a car, called her an Irish slut, and suggested that she go kill herself. She did.
Phoebe Prince, 15, committed suicide on Jan. 14, 2010 after a period of persistent bullying at her school in Hadley, Mass.
Five students were charged with an array of felony and misdemeanor violations in connection with Prince’s suffering. They ultimately pleaded guilty to criminal harassment and were sentenced to probation and community service after their court appearances.
Prince’s parents, Anne O’Brien and Jeremy Prince, also filed a complaint with the Massachusetts Commission Against Discrimination in November 2010, alleging that the South Hadley Public Schools had failed to protect Prince against discrimination, the Boston Globe reported.
They withdrew the complaint after settling with the school district in Nov. 2010. A court case filed by a reporter for Slate magazine -- with backing from the ACLU -- won the right to open the court documents this week, revealing a settlement amount of $225,000 from the town of Hadley.
Holding the teens accountable in court and the city's payout may act as as deterrents for other bullies, and adults who fail to intervene. But one lawmaker on the state's education committee believes that these measures are far from adequate and wrote one of the most comprehensive anti-bullying bills in the country.
Martha Walz (D-Boston) says the legislation was under way prior to Prince’s death. But the high school student’s death -- and that of 11-year-old Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, who killed himself in April after being persistently called “gay” — gave it momentum. The bill “Dignity for Every Student” passed by a unanimous vote in the Massachusetts legislature in May 2010.
“The two suicides allowed me to say… we have to go significantly farther than what others are doing,” said Walz.
The Massachusetts law makes anti-bullying curriculum mandatory for every student in every grade, K-12, in both public and private schools. It also requires training for every adult in the school — including teachers, coaches, bus drivers, custodians and administrators — on how to recognize bullying and what to do about it. It makes it mandatory for every adult to report cases of bullying, and every report mandatory for schools to investigate.
Similar cases have prompted many state’s to draft laws — some named after specific victims — but Nickerson says that many lean to punishment, fail to prevent the problem, and present new ones.
“Sometimes these laws are in reaction to a tragedy. People want to do something,” she said. “So often it leads to criminalizing and finding someone who is at fault. That’s our normal reaction — who is to blame, who is to be responsible?”
“I’m very cautious about this because we are dealing with minors, after all. And bullying is pretty prevalent — about 30 percent are involved as a bully or as a target… Prevention and education is the answer in most cases.”
Although Massachusetts was late among the states to enact an anti-bullying law — 46 other states have some form of anti-bullying legislation — Walz said the timing allowed her to improve upon existing laws, many of which are largely punitive, not preventative.
“They were all about identifying what bullying is and punishing kids who are engaging in it... and they were failing.... You need to create a cultural change, so that bullying is antithetical to a school’s culture — so it is not tolerated by teachers, and it is also not tolerated by students,” she said. “The real key is empowering the bystanders.”
Walz said that under the new Massachusetts law reports of bullying in schools have spiked, as anticipated. But she predicted that as the definition of bullying becomes clearer to students and teachers and as prevention efforts take hold, that number should level off and decline.
“The law is intended to get at not just students who commit suicide as those who suffer day in and day out… and are deeply harmed.”
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Seems like a real biatch to me. Has obviously been coached on how to play innocent for the camera.
Are you kidding me. She's dead you stupid idiot. She hanged herself because of the bullying. STFU
Jake's referring to the bully, not the victim. Reading comprehension much?
I wouldn't call a video clip of the girl a lack of "reading comprehension."
It looks like there's a some justice coming back around to these girls. They're getting their own back, and will live with it for the rest of their lives. I almost pity them when they finally go to work, and find out what real backstabbing can do.
this girl and her mother are UNBELIEVABLE. how dare they make this about them ... "i didn't mean it .. i was trying to help out a friend" ... to hurt another person that you didn't know. and the LAWYER blaming the mother for saying things that weren't true!!
"i want people stop saying things to me and telling me to leave ..." IS THAT NOT WHAT YOU DID TO THE POOR GIRL PHOEBE??????
and her mother??? "i couldn't stand up and hug my daughter" .. well Phoebe's mother will NEVER hug her daughter again.
The teachers at the school were an absolute disgrace. It does not mention it much in this article, but everyone at that school knew what was going on and the teachers did nothing about it.
And now, as usual, the guilty students are going to look "very Innocent" and "helpful" Some of those teenagers are just as vicious as they can be, and they enjoy every minute of it. It is only when it co$t them when they appear with faces of "Angels".
I think too many people still believe the morally bankrupt maxim about children-being-children. The term in loco parentis literally means "in the place of a parent". It does not connote some lesser level of responsibility but rather a direct substitution. Parents are responsible for the actions of their children, and schools take on parental responsibility during school hours.
The only reason that little girl feels bad, and I mean the only reason, is because she got caught and someone died as a result of her high school BS.
If Pheobe were alive, I am absolutely sure they would still be torturing her.
All over a couple of boys. So sad.
@NotsoFast - Charles "reading comprehension" was in reference to LadyC not understanding what Jake wrote, not the video. Wow. Just comment on the story instead of trying to pick other comments apart, and maybe you won't end up being the one looking foolish.
As to the original thread comment, I agree, this girl does not seem like she really thinks she did anything wrong, and I am sure her parents blow it off to her to make her not feel bad about what she did, when she should. One day when she grows up it will hit her.... or maybe not.
I myself was a so called "cool kid" in school and did my share of teasing, mostly in elementary school, but I will definitely be teaching my daughter to stand up for those being bullied and not be the bully herself. I agree that sometimes kids can hold on to these childhood bullying episodes for too long in life, but that is more so blaming the victim than addressing the problem.
If you open with a pronoun, and never identify your subject, it is easy to be misunderstood.
Jake is right, though, in that this bullying crybaby actually now is paying the price. She STILL hasn't taken responsibility and won't, and I doubt the other children will either, because then they'd have to live with that they had something to do with someone else killing themselves.
But of course, they DID have something to do with it.
Shame really, because this interview was the only person to shed tears in the courtroom from the video. But of course, they are 'crocodile tears' sad that she has to pay the price for something she still can't get through her thick skull that she did.
AND OH SADNESS *sarcasm* she is all upset that people are saying that she did stuff that she thinks she didn't do, like stalk the girl. Does she not like how that feels, you know, when people say untrue things about her? Yeah, that's what it feels like, genius bully. Maybe that's a clue to that something she did is wrong, but she will continue to lie to herself that she didn't.
Jason, you're just as wrong. There is no reading comprehension when the context is entirely in the video. The reading portion is devoted to the victim, the mother, and other individuals discussing it. The TEXT has nothing to do with understanding the initial comment. Thus, a "reader" would have no understanding of the original comment WITHOUT watching the video.
Doing/saying mean things, makes you a mean person. Doesn't take a genius to know that. Clearly she's not that smart. But most jealous, petty bitches often are. Couldn't compete with the prettier Irish girl so they wanted her to die.
theCavalier - perhaps. On the other hand, you may be misinterpreting the depth of the sociopathic mind, as is evident in the post #1.7 following yours.
VicElrod - guess it does not matter about those teachers as long as they keep those test scores up!?!
To all of those who want to emphasize the teaching of fighting, it would be better to encourage your kids to join the military.
For the more rational, do not force a kid to endure these things for months and months. The piece of paper called a diploma is not worth all that. If the situation can not be resolved in normal ways, withdraw the child from the school. Transfer them to another school. Consider home-schooling, or having another home school. Let the child just earn a g.e.d. For 'godsakes' . . .
For those who are near one, consider enrolling your child in a Waldorf School. Bullying does not happen in these schools - and not only that, they do not teach a dumbed-down curricula.
I don't believe a thing this girl said in that video... she is now being bullied and she can't handle it so she's denying what she did to the girl. And notice the Mom, wanting to jump up and hug her daughter and tell her everything is okay... you're not to blame. This IS the problem... too many parents WANT so badly to believe their kids but that mom KNOWs her daughter. They were evil to this girl because she was different... she was from Ireland and God forbid a new and pretty girl move into the neighborhood... these teenage girl clicks are so tight. We moved when my two oldest daughter were teenagers and the girls in the new school absolutely refused to befriend my daughters. Only the girls who were already designated as outcasts by the "popular crowd" would befriend my daughters. It was nothing but jealousy. Fortunately, I was able to see what was going on and counsel my daughters through it. They are fine now as adults but their feelings were always hurt by this... not being included. Acceptance by your peers is SO IMPORTANT in the teenage years. They should have gotten a little more than community service...
It "hanged" not "hung".
Both are correct, however, in recent years (only the last 10-20), hanged has started to become more popular for use with people. Growing up in the 1960's, hanged was virtually never used.
http://grammar.about.com/od/alightersideofwriting/a/hangedgloss.htm
Yes, the past participle is disappearing. Leapt=leaped; drempt=dreamed.
dreamt
Hanged is really better because it can't be misunderstood. "He was hanged" means hanging. "He was hung" could mean other things, too.
Personally, "hung" sounds uneducated to me and therefore "wrong", like the speaker doesn't know better. It is consistently done as "hung" in movies/TV and likely catching on more.
It's just like when I hear someone say "is because" - it's redundant and sounds wrong to me.
And yes, I am a member of the grammar police. :)
"lighted" instead of "lit".....I lighted a cigarette, etc. I still hate that one.
Absolutely Correct! Here's a way to remember it: The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
the villain was hanged by the neck until dead.
Yeah for instance...I'm well hung, not well hanged!
In general, dictionaries are more simplified now than in the past.
These kids had better stand the @!$%# by. I'm teaching my son not to take @!$%# from ANYBODY. You want to prevent bullying? Teach your kids to fight back.
Yeah. I think that will make your kid the bully.
The problem with our society is that the kids have become overly sensitive (aka WEAK) due to the constant PC crap and their parents coddling. My life wasn't fantastic when I was growing up, but at no time did I contemplate killing myself. I feel sorry for the parents that their kid couldn't deal with this , but really American kids have become soft in mind and body. Parents need to do a better job preparing their kids for the real world and explain to them that the opinions of other people are meaningless 95% of the time.
I agree. I came home crying from school one day when I was like in 3rd or 4th grade because a kid was picking on me. My Dad said, "The next time you come home crying, I'm going to GIVE you something to cry about." DID I get my a$$ handed to me a few times after sticking up for myself? Sure. But I took the target off my back, and learned how to problem-solve on my own. This is an attitude I've passed on to my own son. And, no, this is not promoting bullying behavior--I knew and my son knows that if my parents ever got a call about me bullying someone, that would be the end of me. It is promoting self-sufficiency and preparing them for the real world. Too many parents chase after their kids these days wiping their rear ends for them. Then they're completely BAFFLED when they grow up to be maladjusted adults who can't tie their own shoes without Mommy there to help them.
Matching transgression for transgression is not the answer. That just teaches children self-centered violence is justifiable.
And part of that includes teaching them that intimidating others is wrong, and will result in severe punishment.
This violent bent some folks advocate, rationalizing the behavior of school bullies, helps explain why the United States is increasingly viewed as a bullying nation throughout the world. Perhaps George W. Bush was taught that bullying was acceptable and therefore figured it was correct to behave like that with the American military as his fists.
Being a pacifist doesn't stop the bullying. Telling an adult doesn't stop the bullying. Trying to reason with the neanderthal doesn't stop the bullying. Knocking his dick in the dirt stops the bullying.
I've already warned my son that if I find out that he's the aggressor, his ass is grass. I will NOT tolerate him bullying others - AT ALL. By the same token, I won't stand for ANYBODY bullying my son.
All that has to be done is to put the bully down once, and the bullying stops. I'm not advocating terrorizing the bully - just letting him know that he won't be bullying my son. If that's wrong, then I don't care. Sometimes violence DOES solve problems.
Yup. Bullies pick targets that don't fight back. Back in elementary school, I was the "bullied kid." Adults are almost entirely oblivious to how intense school-politics can get. It went on for about 4 years and only ended because the lead bully (his friends were just following along) moved out of town. His dad was caught dealing pot by the kilo and a video tape was found of his mom having sex with a 14 year old boy. He probably came from a really messed up family. I wasn't bullied because I stood out- I was bullied specifically because I wouldn't fight back. I don't remember what it was like now, but I can't imagine it being the happiest several years of my life.
I would have done anything to have had the kind of dad that showed me how to stand up for myself at that age. To be perfectly honest, I didn't know that standing up for myself even was an option. Most of the comments on the issue are idealistic ones from people who've never really been systematically bullied. Adults, especially the ones whose job it is to be aware of it, either don't notice or don't take it seriously. Neither do the parents of the bullies. Telling a kid not to fight back against bullying is like saying abstinence is practical birth control. Possible in theory, ineffective in practice.
I never understood being a victim. I'd murder the bully before killing myself.
"Fighting back" shouldn't mean stooping to the same barbaric measures as the bullies. "Fighting back" should be focused on getting bullying psychopaths removed from the general population until their personality disorder is adequately under control.
We can quibble over the means of treating the bully's psychopathy, but if the answer is, as you insist it must be, physical violence, then it must be administered by adults, not by children. It is a scurrilous evasion of responsibility to delegate the role of fostering understanding in a child to another child.
Walt- where did you grow up? Utopia? Have these theories of yours ever been practiced successfully anywhere?
I'd tell you to go hug a tree, but I guess that would be construed as online "bullying", LOL. ;)
Your implication that the best we can ever aspire to is what we grew up experiencing shows a preference for degradation of society. Progress relies on the premise that what we grew up experiencing serves as a minimum for what we expect to provide for our children and their children.
Furthermore, your objection, itself, indicates that you accept accusation that you would seek to evade your responsibility as an adult to instruct children, and instead pawn that responsibility off on other children. How do you justify that evasion of responsibility?
that's a garbage answer. You better be able to show your work with comments like that. How, exactly, with your vast experience and even the benefit of hindsight, should this girl have 'fought back'?
You sat there and listened to little princess there express such regret and remorse. Mummy and mummy's mouthpiece sitting there all sad that little blameless there is getting what comes around. Gives you an excellent subject to practice your 'fight back', methods on.
Walt- Instruct children to do what, become someone's punching bag? Or the object of online or whispered humiliation?
If I, as an adult, confront someone under the age of 18, and it becomes physical or even if I threaten- then Sicken Tired winds up in jail or court (not to say I won't go to this extreme, if my child is pushed hard enough). If I teach my child to confront the tormentor, they in all likelihood, will get a slap on the wrist, maybe a couple days home from school. Along with the confidence that they have fought back, respect from the other children, and learned a valuable life skills lesson (yes, there ARE adults who are bullies also).
And please don't tell that I or my child should go "reason" with the bully, the school, or the parents of the bully. That's a pipe dream that doesn't work.
Precisely... we adults haven't fulfilled our responsibility to provide, support and protect such a mechanism, and to take action to ensure that every child understands both that making adults respond to a bully's psychopathy is the only appropriate response, and clear to bullies that adults will consistently take aggressive action to respond to a bully's psychopathy.
There is no identification here with the escalation of violence. You think kids are going to play by some rulebook that doesn't involve knives or guns? What if you told little Johnny to stand up to the big bully and he gets his head blown off? Sorry to be so blunt, but wake up!
Sicken Tired
Speaking from experience my son was bullied so I got the school social worker and the principal involved and KEPT MY SON OUT OF SCHOOL until the situation was resolved. Is it really so challenging to keep your child out of school for as long as it takes to stop the bullying?
My son TOLD me what was happening and I therefore I listened... I don't understand where this girl's parents were? Did they not SEE her distress? Didn't she have the kind of relationship to communicate what was happening? Or did they turn a blind eye to her complaints?
Take your kid's complaints serious and MAKE the school do their job. It is ridiculous to let children resolve this alone. They need parental and school help until the bullied child tells you it is resolved. And let's not forget the bully. They need help too.
Rabbit-That's a big "if" there, pardner. Suppose Johnny just keeps taking the beating, and hoping it "just gets better"? Again, the only thing a bully understands is fear.
Or vice versa, either situation being 100% the fault of irresponsible adults trying to rationalize away their responsibility.
Walt I think you lived a very protected life. Bullies dont stop because you give em a hug, and putting them out of general population further isolates them or puts them with others just like them. When a crimincal goes to jail, they learn a new way to commit crimes. When bullies get stuck with other bullies, they learn new ways to do just that. When you put them down, they learn something too. Standing up for yourself is something so few kids know how to do anymore. I watched a kid push my son down at the park and he instinctively grabbed a handful of rocks and punched the kid in the face with it. It took no prompting, its human nature to fight or flight, and he chose to fight. That kid and him were friends after that. My son i not violent unless pushed, same here. So you tell me, should he have done nothing and i coddle him and tell him its ok while that kid goes and does the same thing again? The parent wasnt going to do anything about it. I can't hit a 4 year old kid. So i found it appropriate my son took care of his own business. Later in life, when my son is pushed, he will know how to handle it. Youre a fool if you think that human nature is gonna turn into some kind of pansy warm fuzzy place where our words will make everything better. When we separate people from society, they generaly dont do well when they come back to it. Criminals dont generally come out from prison and become contributing members of society, they commit more crimes. I think youre notions are a folly. Dont write a book on parenting, theyd be a waste of paper. Go watch your kid get the crap kicked out of them and say, "dont worry buddy, we dont fight back, we get rolled over and because im too spineless to do something, you should be too. it makes us better" no it makes you spineless.
You're taking this WAYYYY out of context.
I never said put the onus of this problem on the child. Or to ignore your child. Or to not listen to your child.
What I said was teach your children to be strong, have confidence, and esteem. If it's verbal or online abuse, that stinks, but if a bully realizes he's getting to you, it will get worse. The average bully is a coward, and will soon move on to an easier victim.
If it's physical...sorry, but a good ass kicking is in order for the bully. If you don't want to do it, or if your kid's not up to the task, have him make friends with someone who can. Or send a sibling or peer to correct the issue.
Points taken, but your bullies are quite the sissies. The bullies I knew would stop at nothing to win. You beat them with fists they grabbed a knife, etc.
hey walt, what happens when the parents arent around? the bully will get his either way. so rather than waste a bunch of time, i say that at a certain point, kids need to take responsibilities for their problems. If it escalates to a point where my child can not handle it, i want to know. But i cant solve each and every problem my kids have or they will never be able to handle it themselves. Not every problem requires a report and a therapist. The help a bully needs mentally is to understand that they arent bigger than everyone else, and this is what happens when you mess with people. No one has any drive to do anything for themselves anymore, and while i dont agree with bullying in general, i think the approach being taken is wrong. Instead, make it so the kids who fight back dont get in trouble also. They should be praised for actually standing up for themselves.
I think I'd move out of that neighborhood.
@ rabbittrick - all bullies are sissies pansy little worms who have no self confidence if they cant beat someone up or find a way to break them down. All bullies are sissies, including the ones you apparently had to deal with.
also i remember very vividly getting jumped by some "thugs" for 4 bucks in my pocket when i was in highschool. 4 on 1 sounded like a good idea i guess, really intimidating. I came back with my friends and cornered them one at a time. Guess what, those guys stopped messing not only with me, but because it was real public what happened, they stopped messing with people at school. No one was scared of them anymore. We made it clear that we weren't tolerating that crap. The point is, had i told the principal, i would have looked all the weaker and they could just deny what happened. They couldnt deny that we beat the crap out of them, because like i said, we made it very public. I got in school detention, but i didnt care. i won. my friends and classmates won. the bullies lost. And no one committed suicide over it. Thats a weak persons way out, and weakness is taught by parents. I wasn't weak, my son wasnt weak. This may not sit well with many people, but ms prince was weak and that is why she killed herself. her parents facilitated a weak child by not making her responsible for her own problems. Coddling is the wrong answer. making it illegal is a stupid answer. Owning up to it is the only responsible and smart thing that could have been done. That girl should have waffle stomped those kids, ripped some hair out, do something. instead she did the job the bullies were trying to accomplish by being weak and killing herself. way to go america, home of the spineless weakminded PC happy fuzzy ignorant people.
You're passionate KC,
I wish I had friends like you to protect me, but I didn't. Had to manage all by myself. Also, how many friends do you think Phoebe was able to gain in 9 months? To me it seems like her experience here was, "Welcome to America you Irish Slut". Let's throw you into a foriegn land at 15 where you are not liked and see how well you fair without your friends.
Im passionate because I've been there and survived and everytime i see this kind of stuff, it boggles me that someone, anyone, didnt step up, especially the girl.
The bottom line, regardless of if she had made good friends yet or not, is that she COULD have done something. Someone calls you a name, shrug it off. someone throws a rock, throw a bigger one. Someone pushes you, push back harder. Fight dirty, do what you have to do to get your point across. If it was out of her control, then she should have escalated it to someone who could handle it better. At a certain point, you have to say "i cant handle this anymore" and you let someone else help you. You dont hang yourself. That's admitting defeat. That's weak and cowardly. People need to grow up and stop living in a fantasy world where you get what you want. You have to fight for what you want, and if you aren't willing to fight for it, then you dont deserve it. You wont fight for your protection, then you deserve to be bullied. Nobody gets something for nothing. Going and "tattling" does not grant you protection, it paints a bigger target.
Have to jump in here quick... From how I am reading things, Walt IS NOT justifying giving the bully a hug to solve the problems. What he is justifying is having the adults solve the problem, not the children. Which is exactly how it should be done. The parents of the victim need to push the school until the problem is solved, and American parents need to start teaching their children that they are responsible for THEIR OWN ACTIONS!!!
Too often now, the schools get blamed for a students bad grades and bad behavior. Stop being a tiger mom and start teaching your children respect.
Having your son or daughter beat up the bully is not going to solve the problem. Also, are you implying that your child should just beat up someone who is harassing them verbally over and over and over again? If you had a daughter and someone kept calling her slut and whore, calling her at all hours to repeat the same, would you honestly tell her to ignore it or just beat the person up?
No, parents should NOT be the ones to assume the brunt of the responsibility to get this fixed, and neither should the school. The parents job is to teach their children to grow up, be responsible, self sufficient people. This means learning to deal with all types of adversities and solving problems, including bullying. A parent should be a sounding board, for sure...but, they can't go to school with the kid all day long and solve his problems...like it or not, it IS the child's problem. A parent is there to help them solve it & give guidance.
The school will tell you in an instant that they are understaffed, overworked, underfunded...and that "THEY CAN'T POSSIBLY MONITOR EVERY INTERACTION BETWEEN EVERY CHILD ALL DAY LONG". Don't believe me? Try to lay this blame on them & see what reaction you get...
Hell yeah, I would. And if THAT didn't work, I'd take a little more drastic or creative measures. Hate to break it to you, but that's the reality I've lived in.
The problem with this scenario though, and what prompts the need for this new kind of bullying legislation, is that it was a big group of people so it's not like she could just slug it out with one or two and it would be over, it was a gigantic mob mentality, and they were using insidious ways to get at her, via online, phone etc. The rules of bullying from our parents, and depending on how old you are, our generation, are now going out the window as kids become more ruthless and technology becomes more a part of everyone's daily life. I worked in the juvenile justice system and with juvenile social workers, probation officers, cops etc, and now a days even if you do knock the bully upside the head, there's a very real chance he will cut you with a knife or get 6 of his friends to put you in the hospital, I've seen it happen several times. Now, I actually agree, that if you're of a certain age and in certain situations, the best way to stop repeated bullying by maybe one or two people is to enroll in some martial arts training and let them have it, but that's not going to help in a lot more of these modern situations, and you can't realistically take on half the school. The days of the Karate Kid scenario are becoming increasingly rare.
Plus, kids need to know that once you turn 18, you play by a very different set of rules. Pretty much every job I ever worked made you sign a zero tolerance harrassment pledge, and if anyone complained to HR about you, you were in deep trouble. The people that don't grasp that, ie bullies, either end up fired, in prison, or broke because of a civil suit filed against them. I'm not saying don't teach kids to stand up for and defend themselves, even physically in some situations, just be aware that a whole new set of rules in schoolyard politics apply that didn't 15 years ago, and that are much more complex than they used to be.
Buffalos Roam - What?!? Defending your self makes you a bully? That statement makes you having the iq of a small rock.
Anony-See, this is the problem in a nutshell.
Cater to the bullies, let them operate around the system, and they will figure out how to manipulate your child, and you as well.
I can personally guarantee that if your child (or a representative)beats a bully senseless, he will crawl away with his tail between his legs like the cowardly cur he/she is. And will avoid your child at any and all costs after that.
The head games on Facebook-maybe a different story. Everybody has an IP address...or, better yet...teach your kids self worth & esteem. It really is just words.
Parents often cannot 'fix the problem'. Parental intervention can exacerbate the problem...the victim is now seen as a 'momma's boy', 'baby' and 'tattletale'. All targets for bullies.
I was a victim in high school. Surrounded by the bully's friends the bully made a move at me. I pulled my tennis racket out of my locker and held it handle side up. I told her to go ahead and take the first shot. I would take her out before her friends could help her. I also pointed out that she wasn't much of a bully if she needed the backup of all of her friends. Her friends started laughing and she walked away. I never had an issue after that.
All bully packs have a 'leader'. Find out who that is and deal with them...arrest them and let them spend a night in jail. The mindless pack will find something else to occupy their time.
If it was becoming a problem, then yes I would tell my daughter to do it, and would instruct her on the fastest way to take someone down without killing them. If it continued, I would get involved myself. If it could not be stopped, I would contact the police. I would tell my daughter that if she can't handle the name calling now, she will never be able to handle the dog eat dog world that she will eventually live in, which is called real life. Middle School-High School are the most important times to develop these skills, and to help your kid get a little thicker skin. That is the job of a parent. It's called guidance. I do this with my kids for the same reason I will make them get a job when they are old enough, 15, and it's because I'm NOT going to pay for every little thing they want. They want a car, they will pay for it. They want a new playstation, they will have to pay for it. You want a bully to stop picking on it, you go and make that happen. This is life. No one gets something for nothing. There are no entitlements in this world. You have to earn everything you want, and if you don't want to earn it, you don't want it. If you don't want to stand up to a bully, then you shouldn't expect me to do it for you. END OF STORY!!!
I just challenege anyone who has faced a bully by avoidance and tattling to tell me how it turned out. Did you win a victory in the face of adversity? Or did you cower and look over your shoulder and feel embarrassed about it? I would say anyone who says it worked out good for them is a liar.
Unfortunately, the story doesn't elaborate on the parents participation, or lack of, in the bully episode. Honestly, for a teen who feels the world is against them, they don't need to hear their parents belittle them as well.
What a pointless bit of self-serving nonsense. Should I reply back with some comparable mud-slinging aimed back at you? Is that the way you bring up your children, to respond to reasonable people who disagree with them with a clueless and prejudicial judgment about the other person? Let's stop such silliness right from the start.
I never said given them a hug, nor did I say keep them isolated forever. I said to take responsibility for having raised such monsters, and do the responsible work necessary to reform them into respectful human beings. That starts with taking them out of the general population so they cause no more damage and then work with them from there. It's a bit more nuanced of an approach than someone looking for simplistic solution to complex issues may be willing to understand, but it is the only moral approach.
Standing up for yourself includes following an honor code, reporting serious transgressions to proper authorities, even when you are the victim of those transgressions. That is both "standing up for yourself" and behaving like an honorable, contributing member of society, instead of "standing up for yourself" and behaving like the ignorant, abusive, ego-centric barbarians who bully you.
I think your notions are anti-social.
More self-serving nonsense. I have to give you credit: You practice what you preach, as offensive and damaging to society as that may be.
Parents are responsible for their children's behavior even when they aren't around. If your children become monsters when you aren't looking then you haven't done your job as a parent. You've raised a hellion to be unleashed on society upon majority, and that's on you.
Many parents these days seem to try to escape from parental responsibilities. Perhaps that's a reflection of the way they were brought up. In that way, perhaps this is part of some vicious circle. That doesn't excuse it or obviate the problem.
To be fair, our society has stressed some families so badly that the vacating of parental responsibility may not be for self-centered, slothful, or brutish reasons. However, that doesn't excuse the transgressions or how those transgressions highlight the failure of the child's upbringing.
When I was growing up, it never did. Parents learning of these kinds of transgressions would be utterly mortified and would punish the bully more severely than authorities would ever presume to. It is only when parents abrogate those responsibilities that formal mechanisms become necessary, and unfortunately it seems that a majority of bullies these days are brought up by irresponsible parents.
It seems like I had struck a nerve. I was hoping it wasn't because you were seeking to defend parents ignoring or neglecting their responsibilities to take all necessary measures they can to raise respectful and civilized children.
Precisely correct.
Amen.
This is precisely the kind of evasion of responsibility that I have been condemning. It is inexcusable to abrogate adult responsibilities like this.
Absolutely correct.
That's a cop-out.
No, not a cop-out...a reality. Parents are responsible for their children...not others children. If your child is being bullied you can support your child and teach them how to deal with the situation...you cannot take control of the bully or their parents.
My son opted to try out for cheerleading after a year of sitting on the bench for the football team. He practiced with the squad and tossed girls into the air and was the anchor of the cheerleading squad. He had a class with the quarterback and other football team members. This quarterback decided to call my son 'gay' and harass him often. My son told his dad that he wanted to change classes and when he was asked why, he told us what was going on. Dad said, 'ok...if you want to change classes that's fine. Before you do that, you may want to point out something to the quarterback.' 'Tell him to look where his hands are when they're ready for a play...then look to the sidelines and see where your hands are. Your hands are on a cheerleader.' He did that and never had an issue after that...more guys joined the squad. What do you think would have happened if Dad went to the school and made a big deal about it?
Parents are responsible for their children. If that child is a victim...teach them how to deal with it and they will learn valuable lessons for life ahead. Take care of it for them and what do they learn?
That's all I'm saying: Parents of bullies are responsible for the assaults that their children commit.
Children have the same rights to be free from assault as adults. I'm sure you're not saying that if you punch me in the face that my correct response is to punch you back. If you are, then you're wrong, both morally and legally. My correct response is to report the crime to the authorities and trust the justice system to punish the crime. Children should have access to the same protections, and should be taught that that is the correct response.
We must aspired to be better than barbarians.
AW is right Walt...don't write any books or articles on parenting. You have no clue, and obviously come from sort of priviledged background.
Ever met the parents of a bully? I have, and quite honestly can understand why the child is a bully. These parents think their children do no wrong, and even when caught - make one excuse after another for their wayward behavior.
I do not condone violence and agree that any assault should be reported. However, the majority of bullies do not resort to physical violence, it's more of a mental assault: exclusion, name calling, jokes. Ugly words to a teen trying to 'fit in'.
Now, as a parent...go make a big deal about it and see how they ALL end up treating your child. It certainly won't be with respect...and after word gets out, more than likely it will be reflected by a group much larger than the bully's posse. You, the parent, will never see the real harm being inflicted on your child until it is too late.
What a pointlessly self-serving thing to type in. Did you think anyone didn't know you disagreed with my perspective? Please try adding some value when you reply, by responding to the points made instead of stooping to baseless mud-slinging.
Yup, you've described at least one person I know to a 'T'. I can just imagine how his head would explode when a judge sentences him to community service for a few weeks because his son beat up a smaller boy.
And I agree that those assaults are definitely more difficult to deal with, just as they would be with adults. Indeed, most of the whining and scurrilous avoidance of responsibility I see other posters engaging in in this thread may be defensible with regard to infliction of emotional distress, but absolutely not for physical assault.
Underscoring how important it is to change the way society does business, working toward a zero-tolerance policy for intimidation of all sorts. Don't think to excuse inconsideration and transgressive behavior, by adults or children, by saying, "But everyone is doing it!"
Which brings me back to my original point. Teach your kids how to handle the words flung by bullies. It is a lesson that they will be able to use the rest of their lives.
I agree with that as stated: They need to be confident that authorities will take their reports seriously, and take aggressive action against the transgressors.
So.... What were we arguing about?
Wait! We were arguing? LOL
A related seed (about parents being responsible for their children's actions):
http://www.newsvine.com/_news/2011/12/30/9832213-parents-held-responsible-for-underage-drinking
SickenTired, I just do not see 'your elevator completely reaching the top floor'.
And cms5, if we have to be so afraid that no one will listen anymore, then it means that we are in a fascistic society, where bullys and lynch mobs serve an important purpose.
this instance it was not physical bullying,it was emotional, verbal, thru the internet....and if you beat up those bullies, YOU are the one who gets into trouble, not the bullies! all you who think hitting or "sticking up" for yourself is the answer have not dealt with the verbally abusive, lying, rumor-spreading that this girl was subjected to..hitting someone does not erase a post on facebook or a tweet sent to dozens of people...
Wow, so she wants to shed a few tears now, but NOT for Phoebe Prince, only for herself. She now says kids are saying mean things to her, and she wishes they would stop. Huh, kinda sounds familiar, doesn't it?! You can clearly see where it comes from, as the mother goes to great lengths to defend her daughter, btu misses the whole point that her daughter was one of the people that caused this. And the beat goes on...
I couldn't believe it when she was asked what she wanted to do with going forward in her life. It was all about her. What about becoming an adult, and helping educate people on the ripple affect of hurtful words. Selfish, and I cannot believe it's being WIPED CLEAN off her record!
What a slap in the face to the tormented. Ugn, and her mother is just lost in some delusional dream that her daughter is an angel. Keep living that dream. Your daughter is a bully and I highly doubt as the sleaze bag lawyer said that the girl's mother made up how her daughter would walk between people to avoid contact with this girl in the interview. I KNOW first hand that, that is EXACTLY what we who were bullied would do!
It's just a shame. She gets to live while a beautiful young girl will forever be 15...
The best we can hope for right now is that one day she will grow up develop a conscious in that self centered mind and realized the actual horrors of her actions and the full impact it is having on so many people because of her disgusting behavior. Only then will the guilt set in and she'll have to then begin living the rest of her life with that on her soul. That can destroy a person from the inside out. One can only hope because right now, this is the only thing we have. Apparently right now there is nothing illegal about bullying someone to the point of suicide.
I would be so ashamed if this were my child she has no accepted no accountability and only feels sorry for herself. Her Mother talks about comforting her while she was in court.Phoebe"s mother can never comfort her child again. I wonder what this world is coming to when i see parents like this and children who are ONLY all about me!!!!! DISGUSTING!
just like a phony messkin she is trying to twist it around to where she is the victim. a little lead pellet would take care of these bullys.
Go sue in State Court. Four causes of action. (1) Invasion of privacy--False Light; (2) Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress; (3) Negligent Infliction of Emotional Distress; (4) Conspiracy.
To Sharon - the girl charged with the bullying - you ARE a mean person. You were jealous because this young woman was prettier and more popular with the boys you and your friends though of as your own. You deserve to live the rest of your lives with everyone pointing you out as a "killer." You are no better than that.
What a joke. Sadly a teenager commits suicide and now the liberals are looking for a witch to hang. Sorry this girl was so emotionally unbalanced but everyone faces hard times. Learn to deal with it. Sounds more like a family issue than a school issue. Where was her support structure at home?
I, for one, am not laughing and fail to see the "joke".
agreed, a narcissist's mask
Say, proud, I don't find a teenage girl's death funny. And I don't think you should either. Let's see if you can mature past the "liberals this, liberals that" stuff, because it's not just liberals who hurt when humans hurt. It's HUMANS who do. There was nothing in the article even suggesting that this girl was unbalanced. So just how balanced would anyone be, who laughs at her death?
Not that life is about an eye for an eye, but let's keep in mind that before Prince came over here to the States, SHE was the bully in Ireland. No I didn't include the link but if you go back through this story, they even interviewed the girls in Ireland that Prince picked on. Firm believer in "what goes around, comes around"
Who says that those outraged by these crimes are "liberals", the favorite swearword of rightwingers?
This creep just wants to "get on with her life" and not have people say mean things to her in school. Too bad that Phoebe has no life to get on with. They all should have gone to jail, with felony convictions.
A joke?
Where the hell is that "deal with it" button in your head???
Conspiracy? I've never heard of that one.
Look it up.
If more folks held children accountable for abusive acts, as you suggest, perhaps that will help get it through the thick skulls of parents who take no notice of their children's abusive natures that they are failing as parents.
You are so right ,Waltdis. I recall my nephew, who lives with me, giving some kid at school a hard time, wrongly blaming him for taking something of his to point of harassment. When I found out I drove his butt to this kid's house and made him knock on the door and apologies to this child and his parents then told him to set the record straight at school. He lost a few privileges at home as well. The point is to send a strong message home that under no circumstances is harassing another person okay. This isn't a kids will be kids issue, people get hurt and it's important to have the child make amends for their actions. It'll make them better adults in the end.
It's conspiracy because bullying is never EVER carried out alone. The bully AND THEIR FRIENDS go along and do it as a "favor" so if that's NOT a conspiracy--what the hell do you think DOES constitute a conspiracy? Go look it up: Conspiracy--when MORE THAN ONE conspire (decide collectively) upon a course of action and/or speech...
This interview makes me sick. This girl is smiling, and acting like she didn't do anything wrong, and her parents are buying it, and turning a blind eye. I bet this girl is pure evil.
To Sharon Chanon Valazquez's mother: As a mom of 5 girls I know that sometimes, when out of my sight, my daughters don't always act like the children I've raised them to be, and I know 99.9% of the other kids in the world are the same way, it is normal and natural as they grow up. Stop thinking your daughter is an innocent angel. That said, hopefully now that Sharon is seeing what it's like to be bullied herself, maybe she won't ever be that kind of person again and she will have some empathy and find more constructive ways to "help" her friends. And while you are thinking about not being able to comfort your daughter while she was on trial, you should think about how Phoebe's mom can never hold her daughter, never see her grow up, have a family of her own, never again hear her voice. You still have your daughter, be thankful for that.
This Valesquez sounds like a hollow souled vicious brat. She feels no connection to Phoebe's suicide but her own inconvenience from the repercussions. How could her mother not feel shame for her daughter's feral behavior.
So why wasn't Prince's mother there for her. You suffer selective thinking.
And you, proud, must be a freaking mind-reading fortune-teller. How do you know if her mother was there for her?? Talk about selective thinking. I love how you just jump to the conclusion that her family did nothing to try to help her. People like you are just as bad as the bullies. Small-minded and totally lacking in compassion, and living in a complete fantasy, black and white world. What is it exactly that you have of which to be proud? Certainly not your ability to think logically, or be empathic. What the hell does this have to do with being conservative or liberal? It has to do with being an actual feeling human being. Or can you not get that, either, in your total rush to blind and irrational judgment about this girl, her family, liberals, etc.? Disgusting.
From a CNN interview
“It was very painful because you realize as a parent that no matter what I did, no matter how many times I called the school, no matter how many people I might have spoken to there, that she didn’t stand a chance there,” O’Brien (Phoebe's mother) said.
Proud, short of withdrawing Phoebe from the school she had the right to safely attend, what would you have done?
Phoebe's mother had contacted and met with school officials multiple times trying to get the school to intervene. School officials spoke with the students but little else was ever done. When Phoebe ended her life, school administrators at first tried to say they had no knowledge of any bullying, but records of phone calls and meetings with Phoebe's mother proved otherwise.
@ Proud, my mother tried to help me, to reach out but as a teen I would shut her out. She wasn't the one who was tormenting me. I think this was the same with Ms. Prince. She wanted an escape because to her, only her family cared enough and as horrible as this sounds it is not enough. We are social beings by nature, and we crave acceptance by our peers. To be an outcast, to be tormented by ours peers, some of whom we may have had one time admired, and wanted to be friends with is emotional draining and distressing.
A child's parents can be there and try and help as best they can, but they cannot be with them 24/7. They shouldn't have to be. Don't you try to place blame on the mother of Ms. Prince.
Fortunately, or unfortunate to some I lived. I grew stronger, and grew a backbone my last few years of high school and fought back and protected others who were bullied.
A perpetrator of abuse who cannot connect with their victim exhibits psychopathy. I'd hate to think of the consequences, but perhaps the penalty for bullying needs to be court-ordered therapy paid for by the parents (unless they qualify for public assistance - just thinking through the logistics of this), and with repeated offenses resulting in removal from the home of parents who clearly aren't making headway on raising a stable child. That may sound extreme (it sure does to me), but just think of a nation full of people who exhibit such a personality disorder, where that malady is the norm.
Proudamericanvet sounds like he (or she) is just trying to get an argument started, the best way to deal with that is to just ignore the comment. Rational adults can tell when a legitimate side has been taken and then rationally think about the others argument before deciding if they agree, disagree or need more info. In the absence of that it is just an inflammatory remark.
The documentary made about the loss of Phoebe Prince aired here in New Zealand last night. I am shocked and astonished that these thugs and bullies only recieved 50-100 hours community serice for their actions. I was also disgusted after seeing this interview with this evil young "lady". She showed little or no remorse for her actions and justified her behaviour and her believe that she was a good person because "she was just helping a friend". I choose to help friends in a totally different way than she chose to. Some of the younger generation today (I'm generalising here I know) show no respect for others. All they care about is themselves and what the world can give them, and not for how it impacts anyone else. When I clicked on this interview with Sharon, I was sure I was going to see a sad, remorseful and repentent person, but instead I saw an immature, selfish, self centred and arrogant "human being". Sad, very sad.
Shocked she is the bully..most would say she is kinda chubby for a teen girl, and her name and mothers looks are like one third white, one third black, one third Latino..plenty of reasons kids could bully her in past, maybe that's why she made sure she was a bully first.
Weirdo.
I was bullied in school by the ugly fat girls. They were bigger and could kick my arse as well as my friends. They bullied the skinny pretty girls who were nice.
This is unfortunate....we can make all kinds of judgements about motivation, actions, etc. Remember what it was like to be a teenager? For some, it was the time of their lives and for others their biggest nightmare. Given time this young lady probably would have gained perspective but she chose to take her own life.
Karma is a mother— — — — _!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She is not remorseful. One day, when she least expect it, someone is going to knock her on her ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This in response to "proudamericanveteran".................you have got to be kidding, blaming the victim. I was bullied in high school, but I did not "give in" to my abusers. I fought once a week until THEY gave up. This young lady is going to get an ass whippin' that she will never forget, just for PHOEBE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There is a website that teaches kids the social skills needed to offset the remarks made by bullies, to the extent that the bullies will become their friend. Please find that website: bullies2buddies.com. I tried it with my daughter and it worked so fast (within a couple of days) with phone coaching from the website director. It changed the whole class around. It was fun to learn. My daughter became such a confident child.
Thank you for posting this site.
I'm sorry I see absolutely NO remorse from this young woman. She seems to have latched on to this excuse that she was "only helping a friend". I guess as long as your are just "helping a friend" it's somehow OK to make someones life a living HeII. I followed this story from day one and the kids involved in persecuting Phoebe really are some rotten eggs and I personally hope that their actions will haunt them for the rest of their lives.
This interview was quite revealing. Sharon clearly feels only sorry for her own situation and is distraught at being bullied. I'd love to know why the people she says bully her aren't just, as she calls it, "arguing" with her. Also, not to be nasty, but she was modeling? Really? What, to me, says the most about Sharon's soul is that all she learned from something so horrible is that she didn't do anything wrong and she is the victim now for "arguing" and "helping a friend".
I'll say it flat out - Sharon is a mutt.
That is an insult to mutts.
Big deal, Latinos (American citizens) get harassed daily and are called illegals all the time. To be American, you need to have thick skin, this is just an isolated incident.
I'm guessing Sal-2698739 is a bully as well. Instead of trying to raise kinder children you think we should all just be tougher and continue to treat each other like crap. It's sad that you think this is what it means to be an American. I don't know where you are from but perhaps that is more the sentiment of that place. Instead of deporting immigrants maybe we should buss out all a-holes regardless of status.
Bullying is a serious problem affecting millions of children. It can interfere with their social and emotional development, as well as their school performance. 19,000 children attempt to commit suicide every year as a direct result of being bullied. To help combat this, I have put together a bully prevention show for elementary schools & libraries called "The STOP Bullying Show". Based out of Orlando, Florida, the show raises the awareness of bullying in a fun & engaging way; while teaching kids what they can do to put a stop to it. Highlights of the show can be seen here...
StopBullyingShow.com
It seems that facebook is being used for other reasons besides social networking. I believe someone said she was chemical unbalance or something of that kind, which makes sense. I know plenty of people who were bullied and didn't commit suicide and I know people who have tried to commit suicide. The people who tried to kill themselves were obviously mentally/chemically unbalanced. Bullying is something that's going to happen, it's not right, but what can you do about it? It's part of human nature.
So you're saying it's acceptable because it's " It's part of human nature." So is homicide, but we sure don't accept that.
We dont accept that it is right, we accept that it is. Bullies have always existed and will always exist as long as people allow themselves to be victimized.
Apparently getting on-line and hurling insults about the girl in the video or at each other is the best way to stop kids from hurling insults at each other? The source of the problem seems to be the world where children grow up in, where people on both sides of an issue treat each other the exact same way that bullies treat victims in school. Reading many of these posts, it seems not many of you have done much maturing or self-reflection.
I support educating children to try and eliminate the passive witnesses to bullying. What the girl in this video did was wrong and horrible, and had a terrible outcome, but how do you expect her to learn any different with you all shredding into her on forums like this? How are you surprised she turned out this way with how quick you all are to tear into her the same as she tore into that poor girl?
"I'm starting with the man in the mirror. I'm asking him to change his ways. And no message could have
been any clearer. If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make the change."
This is really a big part of the concern I voiced earlier in the thread... that perhaps this psychopathy that I referred to is already pervasive in society.
Walt, its nice that you learned a new word today, ive noticed youve managed to use it in nearly every post. Good job. Your word of the day calendar has paid off greatly.
He hasn't used it correctly unless he is a psychiatrist who has examined everyone he has made a clinical diagnosis for, but hey...he's managed to use the new word several times.
J, you had me 'til the Michael Jackson quote...
It is a shame that these students only got 50 to 100 hours of "community service". Anyway "janman" if she was "chemically unbalanced" her parents never got the chance to get her help. We hope that your loved ones never have to experience such bullying, whether they are "chemically unbalanced" or not!
I cant stand this video. This girl makes it sound as if shes the victim. Shes the one that bullied that girl until Phoebe committed suicide for christ sake! She got caught, got prosecuted, and is now saying "oh crap, i got caught". And this whole case is getting wiped from her criminal record once she turns 18 is sickening. Something this extreme shouldn't just get wiped. This girl says that she is now getting bullied and death threats...not fun when your on the side of being bullied is it? Perhaps she should have thought about that before bullying a girl to the point of suicide.
From her point of view she is the victim. It's obvious that she still doesn't believe that she did anything wrong.
She's still a damn child herself!! How old are you people really? She is a selfish immature teenage girl who got stuck in the same MOB mentality that most teenagers can easily get swept up into. They don't have the full mental capacity to understand right and wrong on that level all the time. Think about how a 16 year old who consents to sex with an 18 year old is considered a victim of statutory rape. She did not physically kill this girl. Will it be OK if she gets bullied about this mistake she made until she kills herself too? She got punished, and is still getting punished. I understand the severity of what came out of her "bullying" but she's still just a stupid kid herself. Kids are idiots, they say awful things. But she's not a freaking criminal who needs the rest of her life ruined for this. So sorry to the family who lost their daughter. It is very tragic. but some of the things you people are saying about ANOTHER child is disgusting.
Life, to me, is a blessing. Sure, you shouldn't rid of it, but some immediate pains are so great, you'll do anything to reduce that pain. Based on all the evidence everyone submitted, I think Pheobe Prince was at that point of emotional torture. This girl in the interview is not at the point where she will kill herself from the pain of the rebounding judgements, scandals and losses. She seems frustrated by them, but those rebounds will continue to remain strong as long as she does not accept her failures. She will have to live the victim's role of that bullying that she did to Pheobe until life seems hardly a blessing anymore. The only way to avoid this is to realize that she and her friends drove that girl to her death, that her intent in bullying WAS malicious, that Pheobe, not herself, is the victim, and the only relative issues Pheobe was going through were manifested by her and her friends. Inconsiderate to her unfamiliarity in our country, harassing towards innocent behavior, and threatening when unprovoked just for the sake of malice, I was expecting a better understanding from an accused in this case by now. Instead, they want to defend this behavior for all to anticipate their further, unnecessary losses to follow. I was truly disappointed by that interview. I hate to say it, but it seems that : Tragedy for Pheobe Prince has not yet reached its full end after all.
I am sorry she's dead but why did her parents not pay enough attention to see the signs? Life is not fair, there are bullies in everyday life. Time for America to stop telling kids the world is all rainbows! Teach them that its ok to fight back! Teach them to punch the bully in the face! If you get knocked down grab a bigger stick! I am so sick of people saying kids have it so hard! Hell they have it easier than I did! Or our parents! Kids today are just spoiled and think they should be given everything on a silver platter.
I have to agree with you. For several years, I was the only black student at my suburban schools (I am now 29) and dealt every day with students making fun of my hair texture, my body, calling me a jungle bunny, calling me the n-word, etc. I had few friends and was picked on constantly until I learned to stick up for myself. I clearly remember one day when a classmate was harassing me and I told him to back off. His exact words: "don't make me get racial on you." My words, "what are you going to do, call me a [n-word]?" And I walked away. He never called me a racial name again. Now, as an adult, if someone even tried to bully me they would sorely regret it. Childhood bullying changed who I am as a person but I never once considered killing myself. Odd that kids have been bullied forever and it's only this recent generation of kids who are using suicide as a way out. I blame the parents- they need to teach their kids that the world is not all sunshine and lollipops. Don't wait for your school protect you/your kids. Sometimes you have to handle the situation yourself, not always necessarily physically but sometimes it may get physical. It is what it is.
For the more part bullies are cowards. Their parent are the same way if you ever have reason to meet them. We had a bully in one of our schools and the parents were worse that their kid and that was the problem.
Harris and Klebold learned that lesson very well, and demonstrated it at Columbine.
Sometimes a "bigger stick" is overkill. Literally.
there is no excuse for bullying anybody. It should be criminal, the further you go the larger the charges will be, and if it causes death than involuntary manslaughter should be considered! I know, i have experienced this first hand!!!! SHAME ON YOU WHO BULLY people who did not deserve your vengance!!!!!!
if you fight back you'll get in more trouble than the bullies do.................
sad but true
i saw the video and i really can't say this was an act or not.But she's young like everyone's teenager.But the damage is done and she's wants to move on but sadly, she's going to be tainted and branded for the rest of her life.
I hope she IS branded for life. I hope she never goes a day without being reminded of what a horrible person she was.
Give me an F-N break!!! This self centered little b--tch, speaks only of herself and how terribly wrong she was represented and so on and so on along with her mom tearing up cuz she couldn't comfort her daughter in court. Are they for real??!! My God they made this all about them!! WHAT about the poor girl that lost her life??! This interview is a joke!! And it is NOT funny!!