E-mail updates
Follow on Twitter
Subscribe to RSSDomestic violence advocates criticized a judge who suggested that a Florida man apologize to his wife for grabbing her neck by taking her out to dinner.
A Florida county judge rankled domestic violence advocates when he ordered a man arrested for grabbing his wife’s neck to return home with flowers and take her out to dinner.
“He’s going to get a card, he’s going to get flowers, and then he’s going to go home, pick up his wife, get dressed and take her to Red Lobster, and then after they have Red Lobster, they’re going to go bowling,” Broward County Judge John Hurley said.
Read the original story at NBCMiami.com.
Mary Reidel, president of Women in Distress, said the judge should treat domestic violence cases more seriously.
“Today’s push could be tomorrow’s more serious incident,” Reidel said.
Leave a Comment:
He sounds like he needs to be removed from the bench.
How about we beat him in the head with a red lobster and knock some sense into him.
And what will this judge advise him to do when this escalates? When he doesn't just go for her throat, he beats her, breaks bones or puts her in the hospital? Should he up the ante and take her to Applebees for a Walnut Maple Blondie and a movie (with popcorn)?
If he hits her with a baseball bat, will he just have to take her to a FL Marlins game?
Over-reaction? Maybe. But this judge's decision seemed like a gross under-reaction. Though the article didn't indicate where the wife stood on this matter.
Wow, just unbelievable! this Judge is totally clueless. He's actually enabling domestic violence. This from the original story:
So I guess we should conclude that the NEXT time (and there WILL be a next time), when this victim's husband puts her in the hospital, this Judge will order that the abuser take flowers and balloons to her hospital room?
I hope this Judge is elected, and not a political appointment, because then the voters can dispose this particular case of "blind Justice" (actually, deaf, dumb & blind Justice!!!)
PS: Ordered to take her on a dinner date at Red Lobster? Yikes, I have eaten at Red Lobster. Since when is it appropriate to ALSO punish the victim?
You would be amazed at what it takes to get a DV conviction. I actually argued with a judge about giving my M-I-L a restraining order when my F-I-L broke into her locked bedroom (that should tell you something right there) and gave her a black eye. Luckily my DH and I lived there at the time and were able to separate them. My F-I-L is disabled and my M-I-L was his primary care taker. She wanted him removed from the home and a restraining order and the judge told he she had to live up to her responsiblity to him. I asked him at what point did her safety trump her "responsibilty" to her abuser and he told me he did not like my tone and would find me in contempt of court if I didn't settlle down. I told him too late I was already feeling contempt for the court, at which point my M-I-L grabbed me and reminded me to shut up because she didn't bring bail money.
We finally managed to get rid of my F-I-L and Mom got a divorce, but it took 2 years and 4 more trips in front of a judge (not to mention weekly calls to the police and about 5 trips to the ER). When judges that did not grow up in the era where beating your wife and kids was acceptable finally outnumber older judges we'll start to see a change, I hope.
Red Lobster and bowling???
That's what this guy thinks is a hot date?
i read the story when this first happened and was appalled at the judge's attitude about this man assaulting his wife. Obviously, he thinks it's no big deal. As a woman that smacked hard enough to leave bruises for dealing a hand of cards the Ex didn't like in a game, it just escalates.
This jerkwad got away with it this time, it's just going to get worse for this woman. Hope she gets out before he seriously injures or kills her.
I'd like to say I'm surprised - I'm not. Anything like this that happens south of the Mason-Dixon line is SOP these days.
watch jersey Shores and then tell us again how stupid us southern folks are..ya'll.
She reported him to the police for "domestic violence." Once those allegations are made, the police MUST arrest him. It may have come out later that she made a bogus call and the judge made light of that. I think the women should be charged for filing a false police report.
It has to be his fault. If she bore any responsibility, the judge would have ordered her to sleep with him after the dinner date.
REALLY??...You are as bad as the disgusting judge here...where in this article did you see that it said she (or the rest of the "women" you cite) lied? She was attacked for dealing a hand of cards that her slimeball husband didn't like. He is the one who should be in jail for a bit, playing cards with Big Bubba who doesn't like the cards that were dealt to him. And the pathetic judge should obviously be removed for his insesitivity and irresponsible response to the husband's actions. A woman generally can't stop a man from hurting her, at least the first time. But, now she shouldn't wait until his brutality escalates and she winds up in the hospital, or worse. If he hurts her for something this petty, what will happen if she dents his car, or burns his dinner? Kick this bum to the curb, and file a complaint against the judge.
Excerpts taken from: http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/Broward-Judge-Under-Fire-for-Domestic-Violence-Date-Order-139022034.html
According to Bray's arrest affidavit, Bray and his wife got embroiled in a spat after he failed to wish her a happy birthday. Bray's wife claims that her husband shoved her against a sofa and grabbed her neck.
Sounds like a legitimate case of domestic violence to me. The police thought so to.
Plantation Police, who investigated the incident, also didn't seem to laugh the incident off.
"We determined that a domestic violence law had been violated and we acted accordingly," Plantation Police spokesman Det. Rob Rettig said. "The Plantation police are going to continue to arrest offenders regarding domestic violence wherever probable cause exists. According to Florida law the act that took place in this case was indeed an act of domestic violence."
LOL LOL Denver Bill........... too funny! Thanks for the laugh!!
So what's the judge going to say after the husband slams his wife in the face with a bowling ball? Take her a card and flowers when she is recovering the hospital? What a jerk.
I's Florida, people, what did you expect in dear old Dixie? Women and children are still chattel in those states. When that card player winds up killing his wife, the judge will be "oh so sorry" and ask for forgiveness.
Broward County once had more Northerners than Southerners as it's the home of Ft. Laud. etc. Of course there are now more Haitians and Hispanics than anything else so I am not surprised by the judges ruling. Add in the trailer parks and Red Lobster might seem classy.
As a domestic violence survivor, this story kills me. I can't believe that judges in this day and age where Domestic Violence is RAMPANT everywhere, actually think that this is a joke. This judge himself probably smacks his wife around, and thats why he is leniantly telling this guy to apologize and take his wife out? Really I am disgusted. And I hope when he knocks her unconcious or maybe kills her, there is a different judge who sentences him to jail-where he belongs with the rest of the lowlifes who think it is ok to put there hands on anyone. This judge needs to lose his job
This story is missing quite a bit of information. Why is it assumed that there will be an escalation of violence?
Men and woman who act out violently toward their partner rarely if ever stop on their own. And even with counseling most don't stop.
Because violence like that DOES escalate. It's starts with name-calling or other put-downs -- usually followed with 'what's wrong with you? Where's your sense of humor" -- then goes to an 'accidental' push or trip. Then, actually striking the other person. Usually with apologies and more accusations of 'you shouldn't have made me do that!'
What makes it difficult for the victim is that it's a gradual escalation with the abuser trying to convince them it's really their fault -- they provoked it somehow.
Ex swore up and down it was an 'accident,' he didn't meant to smack me in that card game. Never mind there were three other people there that saw him draw back and slap me so hard it left bruises. What was wrong with ME? Why was I over-reacting? He didn't mean anything by it. He did me a favor -- I suddenly realized it wasn't me that was causing this. And got the heck out.
Dinner and bowling would not have fixed the problem.
i agree! It will more than likely happen again, and it will be worse. BUT....she has the option of getting out BEFORE that happens! I wish her luck and happyness in the future.
Talk about being victimized twice!
First he grabs her by the neck to choke her!
Then she is forced to go and eat at Red Lobster!
I've heard of the "Double Jeopardy" rule but not the "Double Choke" rule!
Thats the whole problem there in a nut shell! The law does not see beating your wife and or kids is that big of a deal! Been this way since time began. This Judge should be removed from the bench and if the woman is beaten again the Judge should go to jail for aiding and abetting!
Judge John Hurley is clueless!!! He seems to think domestic violence is a big joke. Hopefully this judge is not married. If he is, my condolences to his wife. Come on Florida REMOVE THIS JUDGE FROM THE BENCH before some poor woman or man (yes men are abused also) ends up dead after their obligatory date at the local Red Lobster and bowling alley!
This judge just dismissed the seriousness of domestic violence and made a mockery of the emotional effects caused by abuse.
Let see flowers, card dinner out and then home for a good old fashioned beating. Yup oust this judge from the bench.
And what would Ms. Reidel recommend to change this man's behavior?
Red Lobster solves all marriage and relationship problems.
As long as the clams you get on the side don't give you crabs!
WTF!!!!! This judge needs to go! Why was this guy not put in jail? If he had done this to a stranger he would have been. But no; the judge thinks that dinner, flowers and a stinking card are all that is necessary to make her forget about being throttled by this jackass. That women are so shallow, weak-minded and helpless, that a three dollar card will "make it all better"? So now what? Next time he uses her for a punching bag all he has to do is buy her something pretty and take her out for a meal? This woman needs to get out of that marriage as soon as she can. Before she becomes another statistic.
Is this legal?! I'd like to speak with this judge's wife / ex-wives.
The judge being knowlageable as he is, made a judgement call after he examined the facts, and now he will be held accountable for the rest of the womens life? Only women are allowed to sever body parts of thair spouse and have thair attorneys giggle in a court of law reguarding these types of action . These people need counceling. These types of conflict between married couples need to be judged on individual basis. lets not overreact to his ruleing,or what we think may have happened. People need to behave, men and women alike, parameters of marital conduct are not limited to one sex.