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Subscribe to RSSSending flowers to your sweetheart for Valentine’s Day usually usually earns you brownie points. In the case of a 23-year-old Sheboygan man, it earned him a date with police.
Zachary S. Zelko is facing a felony bail jumping charge after he was accused of violating a restraining order by sending his estranged wife flowers for Valentine’s, the Sheboygan Press reported.
According to a criminal complaint cited by the newspaper, Zelko sent the flowers, along with a card stating, “Happy Valentine’s Day, enjoy the chocolates,” to her workplace just before noon Monday.
The estranged wife contacted the Sheboygan County District Attorney’s office, who contacted police.
Zelko was supposed to have no contact with his wife under a restraining order put into effect in mid-January after Zelko was arrested on charges of battery, strangulation and false imprisonment.
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In this case"NO" does indeed mean 'no'."What are ya,stupid?"
Yeah, he was stupid, but maybe, just maybe, he still loves her. As for her actions, shame on her, she should have refused the delivery, and let it blow over instead of complicating the situation.
Kate - Refusing delivery and letting it blow over would be seen as encouragement. He obviously wasn't discouraged by the restraining order.
also, towards kate, if you read the bottom, you'd see the reason for the restraining order, in which case, he deserves to be in jail. (battery, strangulation and false imprisonment)
Did anyone notice that their were no charges filed for the actions she claimed happened just a request for a restraining order. Perhaps she was trying to keep him away so she didn't get caught with her new boyfriend. This theory is no less preposterous than the assumptions you guys make without any proof.
"No" means a lot of different things in the female definition.
Oh and have the typical response for all posts here. --Maybe she was a democrat.
He isn't in trouble for sending flowers, let's be truthful, he's in trouble for violating the restraining order!!! How is that news?????
Now if he would have sent her chocolate, that would've been a different story...
Just being serious here=)
You are right. He did say enjoy the chocolates and he only sent flowers. she was expecting chocolates not flowers. That's why she's angry.
This jacka** figured he would send flowers as an in-your-face message to his estranged wife. There was no love intended. Glad to see this womanizer is off the streets, but no, this isn't news:)
What a Woman! The guy was just trying to say he still loves her on the day of love! Call the COPS? Cmon lady!!!! Hes not a stalker! Hes your Ex! The COPS are your for real?
Powers, If she had a restraining order against him he probably is a stalker!
You did read the part about him assaulting, strangulating and imprisonment, right? And you really think she should cut him a break? Right...NO!
Yeah, he loved he so much he assaulted and strangled her! A real prince charming!
I know a lot of stories where a guy assaults the girl but he is just angry. He really doesn't mean to do it.
I highly doubt that he would do it to her anyways. :-)
lets see this means pink fur cuffs, doggie style, and deep throat . seems like common charges to me lol
Clearly, you don't understand how serious a situation has to be in order to obtain a restraining order! A restraining order is only issued when the situation is inherently dangerous, and it clearly stipulates NO CONTACT. That means no contact in any form!
How he feels about her isn't the issue: the fact that he broke the restraining order is the issue!
Nihal - "I know a lot of stories where a guy assaults the girl but he is just angry. He really doesn't mean to do it." I hate to break it to you, but assault is assault. A guy gets drunk or is on meth and chokes or beats his girlfriend or wife. He may or may not have consciously chosen to choke her, but HE DID IT! Intent doesn't always matter. Being "just angry" is not an excuse for abusing someone! It sounds to me like you believe the injury and fear a woman feels is of no importance because the "man" is right. (Sorry, I feel that a guy who is abusive to women, children, and/or animals is ~not~ really a man!)
jden - relax. I understand your suspicion and apprehension. Domestic battery is awful. On the other hand, it is usually very easy for a woman to get a restraining order, whether or not any abuse actually occured. In my experience, most of the domestic assault orders that walked into my office were not justified. Rather, they were a means of obtaining favor with the court preceding a custody or divorce action.
However, it is true that assault is assualt; but then again, that would include those instances when the vase from the kitchen table goes flying across the room - in his general direction - following an argument based soley on presumptions. That rarely, if ever, results in an order against her, does it? Sometimes, it is what happens next that seals their fate.
I too feel that a man who threatens or hits his spouse/g-friend is hardly a real man. In this case - we don't really know the facts though. It would seem safe to assume this woman is very interested in punishing this guy. Maybe there is battered-woman-syndrome present. Maybe he came home drunk and hostile. Maybe she instigated the fight and initially struck him. Maybe she was going to run to her room to get a shot gun but he stopped her, therby falsely imprisoning her. Sounds like an ex-parte temporary order so far. All this article mentioned is this idoit sent her some flowers (and chocolates?) and a card. Perhaps in attempt to make amends or express his sorrow.
Anyway, battery and false accusations both happen way too often. I suppose that if those really stupid, violent and angy men would stop resorting toviolence and get help - the ability to con a judge with trumpted up allegations would cease as well. Clearly, violence is never a good choice in controlling another person or expressing anger. I believe that any efforts to control another person is not wise and usually breeds anger.
I hope you do well - heal - and never forget the indicators before the storms.
At the risk of being rude I have to tell you that you just did something really foolish. You do not really know the people involved and you do not really know the people you said came through your office. You are making judgments based upon guessed with very limited facts. Don't you realise that to an abused woman your words are the expected social judgment. I married my high school boyfriend and then found out he was bi-polar and very violent. I stayed because I didn't think anyone would believe me and was sure he would follow through on his threats to kill me if I left. Finally I couldn't take any more and I left. He was true to his word and the usual violence turned to an attempt on my life. I am disabled, part of my digestive system had to be removed and my spine is damaged leaving me numb in my hands and feet and also in constant pain. Obviously you are in no way responsible for my poor judgment in my younger years but somewhere out there another young woman might have read your words and drawn the same conclusion I drew from similar comments so many years ago. Please take care to use your brain before you spout random opinions.
I wouldn't want to have anything to do with him
if I were a woman and he strangled & battered me.
In this case, I'd have to take her side. If she erred, she did so on the side of caution.
He's lucky she isn't my daughter. We look at things a little differently here in Arizona
How would we know that he did that and why would he send someone like her flowers if he really hated her?
Hello!!! Maybe because he did it. He was arrested... the courts saw enough proof of it to issue a restraining order... and he was still stupid enough to go against the wishes of his ex AND the law. There are numerous cases of men beating women then turning around and swearing it will never happen again. And then those women turn up crippled or dead...
It's amazing how some guys think they can beat the bloody crap out of you and that an apology or flowers or chocolate will fix it.
Maybe I should move to that town. I couldn't even get my restraining order recorded in Florida after a full blown hearing and paying an expensive attorney. It became obvious my ex could do whatever he wanted during our divorce.
Will his wife be able to send him flowers in jail.You can't fix stupid
Actually, no she can't contact him, either: a restraining order goes both ways. The issuer cannot contact the person the order has been filed on!
It's news! In hopes of warning others that would be so super intelligent to send anything while an order is in place. I wouldn't eat the chocolates anyways, it could be her last snack. She did right to contact the law and let them handle it. So wish people would walk away and leave a relationship rather than stay and create a terrible situation for all. Hope no children are involved.
This is just the stupidity of f***ing America. The guy loves the girl and all this country sees is the f***ing restraining order side. It isn't fair for the man's love. The way people react is stupid as f**k!
Trying to express yourself with a limited vocabulary is really tough isn't it?
Yeah!!! Why on earth would anyone be concerned about the fact that he had beat her, strangled her, and imprisoned her? Stupid people for thinking he could ever do it again or worse. After all, he "loves" her...
Richard, actually doing that was simple. And icu, how do we know that they even did that? We can just judge what he did, just by an article saying what he is charged of. I know a guy beating a girl out of anger once, and he didn't mean it and they were still in love.
Nihal, it's not stupid at all. I'm speaking from experience. It doesn't matter if he loves her or not. What matters is that the courts saw enough evidence of danger to her (from him) to establish the restraining order. Restraining orders are hard to get, and you have to provide evidence that you are in clear danger. She obviously supplied that proof. The way you keep defending him, it makes me wonder if you think it's okay for a guy to beat the living crap out of his significant other.
Years ago, I was in a Battered Women's Shelter. One of the women there had her jaw wired shut. Her "loving" husband had beaten her so badly that she miscarried their third trimester baby, broke her jaw, a few ribs, and her arm - and he couldn't understand WHY she had the restraining oder filed on him because he "loved" her! (In the past, she'd made the mistake of taking him back, believing him when he said he'd "never do it again!" Hint: abusers LIE when they say they'll never do it again! They apologize. They buy you gifts. And then they beat you to a bloody pulp again, or kill you.)
Nihal, "Love" never justifies beating, strangling, holding someone hostage. There is NO justification for physical, emotional or verbal abuse. And you don't know he sent her the flowers out of love. He showed her the TRO couldn't stop him from going/doing/saying whatever he wanted.
So she has a restraining order and filed a complaint because he made a nice gesture and sent flowers and candy...???? I could see if he sent black flowers and a death threat.
But I bet if he has to send her a check every month she will accept those without a complaint!!!!
Guess you missed the fact that he had been arrested for beating, strangling, and imprisoning her... THAT was the reason for the restraining order.
Do you read the stories before you make comments or what
"...Zelko was arrested on charges of battery, strangulation and false imprisonment." Obviously she didn't appreciate that show of affection either. And you dare to imply that she is in the wrong. Hmm, interesting. Now I have to ask what is wrong with all you DBs who are siding with her ex? I fear that you men are just as bad as he is if you can't see the problem with this thinking.
I agree, FRYYBRYD! They obviously have no comprehension what it's like to be on the reciving end of all those "nice" gestures! I wonder how many of those defending him are abusers themselves!
Nothing like flowers with a card saying "enjoy the chocolates" (???) on Valentines Day to negate battery, strangulation and false imprisonment in mid-January. Really? How arrogant to even think this was a good idea.
That puts him right up there with most politicians. I'll screw you over and later I get you flowers and chocolate, are we good?
That you'll pay for even ...
That will teach him. Trying to show how tough he is beating up on a woman. They need to keep him for a long time.
Conspicuous by its absence is the part of the story that tells what SHE did...maybe she was in the act of committing a crime against him and he was defending himself...everybody always wants to presume the woman is totally innocent...it makes no sense that he just woke up one morning and decided to beat his wife for no reason whatsoever...yeah, there's more to this story.
Really?
Yeah, really. Do you have an effin point, or are you just the self-appointed smart ass on this board?
Yes!
You honestly think she could get a restraining order if she was in the wrong? I have to say that is extremely, extremely rare! I'm not saying it never happens, just that it's far more rare than a man beating a woman for nothing, or for something she has no control over! I spent time in a Battered Women's Shelter. Some of the histories were horrific... The woman I mentioned earlier who had been beaten until she miscarried and had a broken jaw, ribs, and arm? Her husband beat her because the basement entry in their house wasn't located where he wanted it to be! Yet he claimed to love her, and that it was just "a little anger" that caused him to beat her!
I'm sure anybody can get a temporary restraining order just for the asking...all you have to do is show up and pay the filing fee...which they love taking money from people for no reason...it will be a long while before the issue goes to court and MAYBE gets turned into a permanent order...
In these incidents, the corrupt damned cops ALWAYS presume the woman is as pure as the wind driven snow, and arrest the man...that way, articles like this one appear everywhere and all the whining yuppie PC b!tches in town feel like they won a phony victory of some kind...and they don't want the issue tainted with ACTUAL FACTS.
By the way, restraining orders are very difficult to get! Most places are very careful in screening the applications for restraining orders because it takes time on already full (or over full) court dockets. If you don't have evidence that you're in clear danger, the judge usually doesn't sign the paperwork!
You don't even have to see a judge to get the original TEMPORARY order...that's the whole point, to keep it from flooding the court docket...in the great majority of the cases, the issue has been resolved and nobody is even interested in going through with the court appearance to get it turned into a PERMANENT order...so it just gets dropped at that point...most of these things are NOT SERIOUS ISSUES in the first place...they are just some pissed off woman wanting to get revenge on a guy she's mad at...until she needs money for more beer.
There may be more to this story? But, as far as i am concerned, you never hit a lady! Period! You dont have to strike a woman, walk away. My ex once side kicked me, broke my ribs. I picked myself up off the floor, went to the hospital, came home. She appologised, cool. Once, she hit me with a skillet, on the side of my head. I picked myself up off the floor, went to the hospital, had a concussion, went home. She appologised, cool. Get the picture? Never, under any cicumstances do you hit a lady! Walk away when you can stand up. I always did, until i divorced her azz. Love women, that is what they are good for, loving!
DfromSpencer, I am truly sorry you were in that situation. It's hard to walk away from an abusive relationship. There's a lot of manipulation involved, and sometimes you stay (at least for a while) because you truly love the person. I'm glad you got out!!! Violence... is not acceptable, no matter who is doing it!!!
How about if he caught her "in the act" with another man while the children were in the other room playing with matches...would he be justified in giving her an attitude adjustment???
Another point, any reasonable woman (is there such a thing???) would probably throw the gifts away and shrug it off...especially on Valentine's day...we didn't hear anything about the chocolates being poisoned or anything like that...if this happened frequently, that would be a different story...if it only happened once, and on Valentine's day, forget about it already...this sounds like she was taking advantage of an opportunity to create a scene, start some kind of drama, and get him arrested for free...what a b!tch !!!!
Actually, as part of the agreement with the courts when a restraining order is issued (at least in my state,) she was required by law to bring the law into it. Neither of them can can contact the other in any way, and she clearly doesn't want to make up with him. I doubt she was trying to create drama, and the fact that it was Valentine's Day actually has no bearing on the fact that he broke the restraining order!
By the way, catching your significant other in the act with another isn't an excuse for a beating. I'm guessing you caught your ex with someone to come up with that scenario. :( It's painful being cheated on, but still not an excuse! At least now we understand where your anger is coming from!
No, I have never been in that situation, and I have honestly never raised a hand to a woman in my life...I have more respect than that...if fact, I consider my gf a gift from God...anyway, I was only trying to make up a scenario where he just might be justified...and she just might deserve it.
I'm glad you haven't been in that situation! Still, cheating would not be an excuse for abuse. Do a little research on the psychology involved in abusive relationships. It's... bizarre! It's wrong to abuse anyone for any reason, and gender doesn't matter. (A female should never abuse anyone, either! Wrong is wrong!)
I'm glad you consider your gf a gift from God. Love is truly a wonderful, amazing thing! I think abusers, even though they claim to love the one(s) they are harming, love only themselves - but that's just my opinion!
I guess I mostly just want to point out that there IS a possibility that there is more to this story than we know...I really do know of an instance where a woman was pointing a gun at a man and he reached out and popped her so he wouldn't get shot...again, the corrupt cops twisted the issue and charged the guy with more counts of made-up crap than you could shake a stick at...NOT RIGHT.
So, the guy sends flowers violating the order. It was a test to see what she would do. If she did not report it, she would have been in violation of her own responsibility and safety. What good is the order if she doesn't follow through with the terms? If he contacts her, her obligation is to report it. If she didn't report it, he would have escalated to another form of contact. Now he knows she wants no contact, and that the police will back her when she reports his efforts to contact her. Why other jurisdictions do not adhere to this practice is beyond me.
Abusers always say they are sorry. The fear a woman has to live with the rest of their life after being abused is real and terrible. She was justified by calling the police because of the restraining order, and I am sure she feared he might be outside her work place also.
I was abused before and it is no picnic. No one knows what it is like until they have been through it.
I pray for her well being, and his being put away.
Now he's thinking, "Why did I sign that stupid card?"
Maybe a third person (her new boyfriend?) sent the gifts, signed his name, just to see him get arrested.
What a biotch!!!
Why would you say that? My dad always sent my mom flowers after he beat her up. Somehow he thought flowers made it all better...go figure. When she finally got a restraining order and divorced him, he still couldn't get it through his thick head that she wasn't his personal punching bag when he was having a bad day. She was dead at the age of 38.