A fake Twitter account IDs Martin Van Buren as '8th President, founder of Democratic Party, criminally underrated statesman'
In the old days, presidents had to rely on written messages and speeches to get their thoughts across. But what if there had been Twitter?
Among the many thousands of fake accounts on Twitter are those for at least 28 dead presidents of the U.S. In honor of Presidents Day, we've rounded up as many as we could find. Silent Cal? Not so silent. Tricky Dick? Just as foul-mouthed as the Watergate tapes suggest.
We're excluding living former presidents on the theory that they have fingers and could tweet anyway.
1. George Washington
Mankind, when left to themselves, are unfit for their own government.
2. John Adams
Could you imagine if that Target commercial with the girl singing Adele on the bus happened in real life? #myworstnightmare
3. Thomas Jefferson
An alumnus of The College of William and Mary must prove victorious.
6. John Quincy Adams (some offensive bad language)
Other peoples' shoes are the best shoes
7. Andrew Jackson
I will personally deed The Hermitage to my 400th follower! Oh wait, no I won't.
8. Martin Van Buren
Won two bits from A. Jackson on bet that Gadhafi wouldn't land up here. Old Hickory still a sentimental fool
11. James K. Polk
I've decided to flex my executive powers & give myself a nickname..deal with it. Polkster out.
13. Millard Fillmore
First policy point: Bathtubs in the White House. #millardfillmorescorpse2012
14. Franklin Pierce
Tricky Dick was not in my league.
16. Abraham Lincoln
Oh, big deal. You be dead and see if you don't miss writing a Tweet or two.
18. Ulysses S. Grant
First man to wear four stars. Deal with it.
19. Rutherford B. Hayes
I will be tweeting my State of the Union from my casket tonight. I will discuss: • education • economy • lack of air holes in casket
20. James A. Garfield
Pippa Middleton, meh. Mary Todd Lincoln, now she was a fox.
21. Chester A. Arthur
Spending my day off catching up with the Kardashians. See the one where Kris and his sis walked through the park in NY where my statue is?!
22, 24. Grover Cleveland
Me and Taft are having an #occupythebathtub protest.
25. William McKinley
If there were a Vice Presidents Day, I would of course wish a happy one to @Garret_A_Hobart. But there isn't, because the VP doesn't matter.
26. Theodore Roosevelt
Many people wondered why I was so keen on liberating Cuba from the Spanish... have you folks ever drank Cuban coffee?! BULLY!
27. William Howard Taft
Crap. Stuck in the tub again. Not the best way to start my President's Day.
28. Woodrow Wilson
I will not speak with disrespect of the Republican Party. I always speak with respect of the past.
29. Warren G. Harding (some offensive language)
30. Calvin Coolidge (some offensive language)
I once watched @WGHarding defeat the Knicks starting lineup in a hotdog eating contest. Needless to say, he had serious Lin-digestion.
31. Herbert Hoover (some offensive language)
AC/DC: I never know if my love of them is ironic or not...
32. Franklin D. Roosevelt (some offensive language)
In protest of #SOPA and #PIPA, I'm blacking out my weekly radio address...also, I won't walk anywhere.
33. Harry S Truman
Bess thinks she'll drag me to church but she's got another think coming.
34. Dwight D. Eisenhower
Mamie is Loco for Four Loko
35. John F. Kennedy
Ask not what your cold medicine can do for you, but what you can do for your cold medicine.
36. Lyndon B. Johnson
Decided not to run in the election. I've had enough of this job.
37. Richard M. Nixon (many expletives undeleted)
Who the hell taught George Romney's boy to speak?
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