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Barbara Johnson knew last Saturday, the day of her mother’s funeral, would be difficult. But she and her lesbian partner of 20 years had no idea that the priest at St. John Neumann Catholic Church in Gaithersburg, Md., would be a source of her grief.
Johnson, 51, of Washington, D.C, walked into the church, mourning the mom she described to msnbc.com as “a really cool woman; she was 85 going on 58.”
When Johnson and her partner arrived at the church – which her mom had attended, and her dad, too, before he died years prior – they were summoned by Rev. Marcel Guarnizo, a man they were meeting for the first time. He didn’t express his condolences, Johnson said, instead curtly getting down to business.
Johnson had painfully written a eulogy; her niece had also penned one. “We only allow one eulogy,” Guarnizo informed them, despite the fact that the church’s music director had told them otherwise, Johnson told msnbc.com. Johnson said she asked her partner to plead with Guarnizo to allow for two while she was called away for her pallbearer duties.
The day, already tense, was about to get significantly worse. Johnson said the priest denied her Communion at her own mother's funeral, telling her he couldn't give it to her because she was gay.
When it came time to hand out bread and wine, Guarnizo “issued a strong admonition that only Catholics in a state of grace can receive Communion,” Johnson told msnbc.com. “I went up. I was standing next to my mother’s casket and he covered the bowl, and said, ‘I cannot give you Communion because you are with a woman, and in the eyes of the church, that is a sin.’ I stood there with my mouth open in a state of shock for – I don’t know how long.”
But he wasn’t finished, Johnson said. Guarnizo had finally agreed to allow two eulogies, but she said family members told her that he proceeded to walk out of the service in the middle of Johnson’s dedication to her mother – something he didn’t do during her niece’s eulogy.
As the final insult, Johnson told msnbc.com, Guarnizo failed to attend her mother’s burial: “When the funeral home director appears, he says, ‘Father Marcel has taken ill. He says he has a migraine and is unable to accompany your mother’s remains to the cemetery.’ This was, for me and my family, his most egregious act.”
The Johnsons now want Guarnizo removed from his post, and are seeking an apology from him.
“You brought your politics, not your God into that Church yesterday, and you will pay dearly on the day of judgment for judging me,” Barbara Johnson wrote in a letter to Guarnizo. “I will pray for your soul, but first I will do everything in my power to see that you are removed from parish life so that you will not be permitted to harm any more families.”
Msnbc.com emailed Guarnizo on Wednesday but did not receive any response from him. Long videos online show him delivering anti-choice speeches, calling abortion clinics “veritable death camps.”
Priest doesn't apologize, but archdiocese does
Johnson, whose story was first reported in The Washington Post, said that Guarnizo has yet to apologize to her family or make any public remarks, but on Tuesday, the Archdiocese of Washington sent Johnson a letter of apology after she spoke with the secretary there.
“In my years as a priest, I have encountered many pastoral situations and know that kindness to those experiencing personal loss is a necessary part of the Church’s call to charity,” said the letter, signed by Rev. Barry Knestout of the archdiocese. “The fact that you did not experience this is a cause of great concern and personal regret to me. It is understandable that you and your family would expect the funeral of your mother to be a time of fond remembrance of her life and comfort from the Church in the midst of family grief.”
The letter apologized for the “lack of pastoral sensitivity.”
Guarnizo’s behavior was against the Archdiocese of Washington’s policy, according to a statement issued by officials.
“When questions arise about whether or not an individual should present themselves for communion, it is not the policy of the Archdiocese of Washington to publicly reprimand the person,” the statement said. “Any issues regarding the suitability of an individual to receive communion should be addressed by the priest with that person in a private, pastoral setting.”
When asked how she identifies herself religiously, Johnson told msnbc.com, “I’m a Catholic. I’m deeply influenced by eastern religion philosophy and the nonviolence of Gandhi and the Dalai Lama along with my church upbringing.”
Her parents worked hard to provide a Catholic school upbringing for her and her siblings.
“I’ve had a very rich and complex relationship with the Catholic church. As an adult, being a lesbian presents conflicts with one’s spirituality. I’ve been fortunate particularly in the last several years – I’ve received Communion every time I’ve gone to church,” she said.
'My mother loved the Catholic Church ... If she loved it, it was good'
For Johnson, however, the Catholic Church and Guarnizo are totally separate.
“It’s very important for everyone to know that my mother loved the Catholic Church. Her life was not celebrated properly; she wasn’t treated with respect by Father Marcel. His actions have turned people. I have gotten email upon email saying, ‘I’m not going back,’ and I say, ‘Please go back, because that man does not represent the Catholic Church.’ My mother loved the Catholic Church, and if she loved it, it was good.”
Johnson said she’s been overwhelmed by the support she has received from elsewhere in the church since the funeral.
“That’s where I’m focusing. Our family’s mission is to heal. The thing that would be required for that, we believe, would be an apology from Father Marcel. We greatly appreciate the apology from the Archdiocese. We also think he needs to be removed from parish life so no one ever has to experience this on the most tragic day of their lives again.”
Gay and lesbian-friendly faith leaders have backed Johnson.
“Shunning a grieving daughter at her mother’s funeral is a heartless act that violates the great commandment Jesus gave us to love God and love our neighbor. When judgment trumps compassion the Gospel is lost. My heart goes out to a lesbian daughter who loved her mom enough to eulogize her while enduring such unfaithful actions,” said Rev. Troy Plummer, executive director of Reconciling Ministries Network with United Methodist Church.
Added Dr. Michael Adee, executive director of More Light Presbyterians: “We grieve that this daughter and her family experienced judgment rather than grace and care. We cannot imagine how a priest or pastor could fail to provide pastoral care during the funeral of a loved one.”
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He is showing her love by denying her communion. If he allows her communion he is sinning and furthering her sin. Please write this man to support his decision.
What idiocy. If she has a beef with a religious ritual she was denied based on a relationship that is definitely deemed as sinfull in most theologies of the world - she can take it up with God, Buddah, Allah, or the tooth fairy, but please do the rest of us a favor and just SHUT UP!
Actually, as a practicing ToothFairyist I feel compelled to let you know that our theology (the only TRUE one, BTW) specifically does not view homosexuality as a sin. Now, as for not brushing... well, let's not go there!
Now I know why you have so many follower. You tell people what they want to hear. How nice.
The Catholic Church or any religious group is not subject to anyone's political or social opinions. Truth for the church is derived from the Word of God and from the wisdom of those called to serve God. The daughter in this case erred in thinking she was entitled to communion as if it were some human right. If she does not like what happened, she needs to go find a denomination that conducts itself differently. The priest here is not at fault. What may have been inconsistent here is that in other instances she was served communion presumably because the priests or servers did not know of her sexual preference.
SHAME on Father Marcel for causing her more grief this should not have been about her but about celebrating her mothers life.
I
am a Catholic, and I am so sorry this Priest did this to you. Things like this
makes me feel religion is the most evil thing on the planet; next to some big
bankers. I love the Lord, and I always will, but I do not need religion to know
what is wrong and what is right. Sorry your mother passed away. My mother had
no religion, and I invited the Priest to come to the house and give her
communion. He asked her if she was Catholic, and she told him no. He said,
"I will give it to you only if you want to; I will not force you to do it.”
She did not take it, and then he asked if he could prayer for her, and she said
yes. He prayed, and was a very nice person. Not all are evil, so forgive the
Priest and move on with a smile on your heart, because as you said, “My mom was
cool.” God loves cool people.
You say your Catholic ?
I don't think so when you makes statements that religion is one of the most evil things on the planet.
When Jesus said " pick up your cross and follow me " it meant that you would have to live by the standards that God set and not the standards of man.
The lady knew before hand the Catholic does not agree with the gay lifestyle but she chose to make a political statement against it by using her own mothers funeral as a pretext and that is the real crime here !
Oh give me a friggen BREAK! Father Num Nuts there was on a BIG FAT POWER TRIP! Twenty Bucks says he's gay to and won't face it cause he in his little TEENY TINY PEE BRAIN,thinks he's going to hell if he does!.
If it had been any other Catholic Church with a Priest with an eighth of a brain in charge and conducting the funeral,none of this BULL CRAP would happened!The funeral would of been conducted and that would of been that!
The problem with these self righteous IDIOTS is that they have a rod up their ass so far they don't even know when to take it out,that includes Father Num Nuts there!
Oh and Genius,Christ said one more thing,HE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN,CAST THE FIRST STONE.YOU GOING TO GO FIRST?
Homosexuality is not a Choice,people are born that way, and the sooner the STUPIDITY is cleared up about it the sooner everybody can just go back to living their lives without all the Fan Fair and the Bull sh it!
Have a nice evening!
The gay lady in question had an agenda when she went into funeral services with her lover then by trying to get holy communion.
She said she was brought up a Catholic so she knew the guidelines but decided to challenge them, at her mother's funeral no less.
I applaud the priest for having the courage to say " no " to her even though he knew it could make him unpopular with both her family and society.
If she did not want to be turned down for communion then she should have had her mother's funeral at a church that recognizes gay unions.
She is just another gay person trying to shove their lifestyle down everyone's throats then quickly contacts the press to embarrass the church.
the reason she was there was to say good bye to her dead mom and that was it not to get treated like these by a church that is to love everyone
It's part of the rules. If you don't like it don't be Catholic.
The only mistake I can really say he made was that he assumed they were gay. Did he see them locking lip or something? you have to be sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that they were a gay couple.
What a flake by choice. Nothing but a choice to be a weirdo. Her Mom instructed the Padre not to administer communion to this flake before her death. I would have barfed and laughed at the site of them. Its mom doesnt have to suffer embarrasment anymore.....
how do you know that her mom did not support her being gay maybe she is not like you and hate them
i love gay people they are fun to be around because they are out going people and love life
i'm a gay man...and that this is an issue appalls me...not for the same reason this appalls other gay rights activists...my mother's side of the family is extremely catholic...they have weddings and funerals in their church...i attend these events...but never would I EVER dream of trying to receive communion at these events. it is well within the church's right to deny this woman communion...was it the right thing to do? no...but it was well with in their rights to do so, they did nothing wrong.
let me just say one other thing...i was brought up catholic...if you are living in sin, you are not allowed to receive communion...according to the catholics being gay is a sin...therefore she shouldnt have even tried to receive communion...thats why they do confession before church, so they are free of sin and thus can receive communion...its a wonder more people don't follow this...but you know...
I'm not a Catholic but I am a Christian; communion cannot be given to someone in sin period, she admitted that she's a lesbian which is a sin and before giving communion he made a statement to the fact that communion cannot be given to anyone in sin, and she still went forward to try to recieve it, so that's her fault. Now the issue of the eulogy, walking out on the funeral and not escorting the body he is without excuse. Another issue is that she says she's "Catholic" but that she's influenced by eastern philosphy and religion, which means she has created for herself a religion that suits her which means she's not a Catholic.
The article states that Barbara Johnson and her lesbian partner have been together for 20 years....pardon me but it does not say that they lived together as caring friends for 20 years...so the comments questioning this relationship as lesbian are red herrings. This woman chose a lifestyle that is not only condemned in the Old Testament but is also specifically condemned in the New Testament. She made a choice, and with adult choices come adult responsibilities. Ms. Johnson knows that her conduct and choice is condemned by the Catholic Church, and all legitimate Christian churches. The fact that she chose to walk up to the altar rail to take communion, for which she did not qualify, is an affront to what the Church and Jesus stand for.
Yes, Jesus came to save sinners, which He did by dying on the cross for all those who accept His sacrifice. Accepting that sacrifice means that people who are sinners choose to live differently from those who do not accept His sacrifice. Yes, Jesus ministered to sinners while He preached the good news on this earth, but to the woman caught in adultery, Jesus said, "Go and sin no more." Judas, who took the first communion which Christ instituted just before His horrifically cruel death, betrayed Christ for worldly reasons just like Ms. Johnson does and attempted to do inside the Church (her crass disrespect boggles the mind), and died horribly as an ansaved person before the blood of Christ could offer him salvation.
But the two thieves on the crosses next to Jesus sum up the choices that are available to the unsaved, 1) deny that Jesus Christ is the only Son of God and take the consequences of that choice, or 2) accept His sacrifice, Repent of your sins and give your life to Him and take the consequences for that choice. If Ms. Johnson wanted to take communion, she had a responsibility to choose the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross, confess her sin, of lesbianism among others, and repent and change her beliefs, behaviors, and choices to reflect her decision. Without that, she had no right to go up and take communion and her actions then and subsequently are Hypocritical in the extreme. She accuses the priest of bringing his "political" agenda to church, but it is not the priest who did that, but Ms. Johnson....shame on her for attempting to desicrate her mother's funeral and beliefs while she attempts to force her political agenda on everyone else. Shame on the Catholic authorities for apologizing to her and not standing behind this priest who stood up in public for what he believed in, for what the Church stands for, and for what Jesus died for.
Yes, all can come to the foot of the cross and be accepted by Jesus, be cleansed of their sins, and take up their cross in their journey to eternal life with God. But Ms. Johnson did not come to the foot of the cross, she did not ask Christ for forgiveness for her sins, she did not repent of her sins, and she did not choose to walk according to the way that Jesus set before her. She could have, but she chose not to.
I commend the priest, Guarnizo, for standing up for his principles. And next time, maybe Ms. Johnson should talk to the priest before she asks for special privileges (not even a member of that church or a supporter of it financially) instead of the Music Director...one can't help but wonder why she chose to subvert the rules of the Church (not surprise there) to get her own way. I, for one, cannoit comprehend how her actions honored her mother, a church memeber and believer, in any way at all. All the shame is Ms. Johnson's. Shame on you for turning your mother's funeral into a publicized, political mess...is that your real agenda? If it looks like a snake, moves like a snake, behaves like a snake, it is a snake.
centrist gal.....God did not make you gay, girl....you chose that. As a believer (did you accept Christ's sacrifice of His life on that blood stained cross?)....if so, you are required to repent of your sins, to go the other direction, which Christ set out for you in the New Testament when He said to the adulterous woman, "Go and sin no more." As a Christian you are to be striving to become like Christ, you are required to "overcome the world." This world is not the same thing as "God's Kingdom," as Christ informed us when He stood before Pilate and told him, "My kingdom is not of this world, if it were so my disciples would fight." The kingdom of God is a spiritual world, whose entrance requires a person to repent of their sins according to the Bible and Jesus....it is nothing like this world where everyone does just exaclty what they want to do and tries to justify it by making comments like yours and like the woman who has been living in a lesbian relationship for 30 years.....what a travesty that she thinks that she is a Christian of any sort...better for her to repent and give up her sinful living and be alone like the apostle Paul, who never married again once his wife died. Of course, he had many friends, and many acquaintences, both male and female, yet he remained blameless of sexual immorality before God. If homosexuality, either between men or between women, was truly "inherent," then there would be no converts from homosexuality ever....but there are many people who have come out of homosexuality.
I invite you to repent of your sin, to give it up, and accept the sacrifice that God provided for you in the death of His only son, so that you might be able to stand before Him, to be in His presence, truly loved and accepted by the One who knows your very heart needs, who can empower you to live the life that Jesus preached and provided, and who has waited all these years, longsuffering, for you to come to Him and ask for forgiveness of your sins, and be accepted completely by Him into life.
Priests/Ministers are jerks too...religion doesn't separate the "good" and the "bad." I remember attending my grandmother's funeral...the Baptist minister officiating was a real jerk. I had to drive 380 miles from university (on short notice) to attend...and when I was there, he announced that she was survived only by her two daughters...even though I was her adopted son. During the service I was totally ignored, while the minister made it a point to spend all of his time with her two daughters. It was a very weird experience over all.
You attended your grandmother's funeral, and were her son?? How did that work exactly.... And unfortunately, the minister may have not been told about you.... I would expect that the minister got with the family beforehand and got information and names....
Although the church apologized for his "pastoral insensitivity" I suppose they'll eventually handle it they way they handle priests who are child abusers - ship him off to another unsuspecting congregation.
This priest is a total A HOLE on a Power Trip and he probably strikes at people's most vulnerable times, like this poor woman's.
This Ignorant Jack Ass won't apologize,and at least the Archdiocese did.He should be reprimanded by the Archdiocese!
People should put out a warning about this Jackass,don't have him officiate at weddings or anybody's funeral! THE IGNORANT IDIOT!
This priest follows Canon Law. He is the precise person I want officiating any religious ceremony. A priest who does not follow Canon Law is the person who should not officiate.
Watch your name calling, young lady. Your slander of this Father is despicable.
Read the inside cover of the Roman Missal. Specifically look at the part about who is and who is not welcome to receive the sacrament of the Holy Eucharist.
If you are gay and want an instant cheering squad to celebrate your sexuality, join the US Military.
Gay Pride keeps me ARMY Strong!!!
Oh, that priest is in deep doo-doo now; he messed with Clark Kent!
...a fat, old, lesbian Clark Kent, but nevertheless...
as christians are we not to love the sinner and hate the sin these has nothing to do with that she is gay or not the Priest had no right if jesus was in that church he would have cried for both ladies if jesus was the priest he would not have said no you can not have my body or blood because you are gay he died for us sinners all of us even if you are gay he did not say i am only dying for the people who know me i am dying for the sinners which means all of us so i do not care if you are gay or what you should be able to take communion at a church that you attend
The day we allow "religious freedom" to trump the anti-discrimination laws is the day TRUE freedom DIES.
You've got that backwards Nathan. This country was founded on religious freedom. If you don't like the tenants/teachings of a particular church, you are free to find another church or none at all. Separation of Church and state means we can't bring our religious beliefs to the court house and you, therefore, can't bring your anti-discrimination laws to our church.
Big deal! I've been denied communion at two Catholic funerals. I'm heterosexual. I don't follow Catholic doctrine and don't believe they follow Scripture. I'm not Catholic so why should they bow down and offer me a Catholic ritual? Seriously people, why do you get so worked up about someone denying you a sacrament that goes against your own beliefs?
If you're not Catholic you have no right to judge Catholic doctrine. I'm not Catholic. I don't go into a Catholic church and demand they let me take their sacraments.
Can two men together give birth to a baby? No.
Can two women together give birth to a baby? No.
Can a man and a woman together give birth to a baby? Yes
If evolution wanted two men or two women together to have a baby, it would have put the organs in to do just that.
Homosexuality does have evolutionary explanations, and it's been observed in over 1500 animal species. Besdies, what does reproduction have to do with this issue?
Ah, lets see. That would go in line with:
Which came first the chicken or the egg?
Why does oil not mix with vinegar?
Why you cant compare apples and oranges?
Need I say more?
Apparenly, since you show a complete lack of understanding both the issue and actual science, not to mention that you haven't offered any logical rebuttal.
Hey Gordy, just because a cow "bulls", doesn't mean she's gay. Just sayin ....
the only thing that is lacking these days is the meaning of whats been written down through the ages of the bible and church law.
Catholicism says homosexuality is a aberration to God's law
Islam says the same thing
Judaism the same.
Get the point!
o boo hoo......