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Subscribe to RSSNEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. -- The mystery man whose tryst with Tyler Clementi is at the center of a privacy invasion trial prepared to testify as early as Thursday against the former Rutgers student accused of using a webcam to spy on them in a dorm room.
He was one of the last people to see Clementi, 18, who committed suicide by jumping off the George Washington Bridge on Sept. 22, 2010, just days after learning his Rutgers University roommate Dharun Ravi, now 20, covertly saw them kissing and encouraged others to look too.
Ravi is not charged in Clementi's suicide, which was widely portrayed as a tragic example of bullying and the toll it too often takes on gay teenagers.
Ravi is charged with 15 counts of invasion of privacy, witness and evidence tampering and bias intimidation, which is a hate crime. If convicted, he faces the possibility of 10 years in prison.
The man known only M.B., who is not a Rutgers student, visited Clementi in the dorm room he shared with Ravi on two evenings in the week before the suicide, the last being Sept. 21.
The man's identity has been closely guarded because he is considered a victim himself. Efforts to protect M.B.'s identity were requested by his lawyer, Richard Pompelio.
He said in court papers that M.B., who apparently met Clementi online, has an "overwhelming" fear that release of his identity will lead to a "total invasion" of his privacy.
Thus far, the judge has agreed to place tight restrictions on the disclosure of his identity, ordering that M.B.'s name and date of birth be given only to Ravi, his attorney and his attorney's investigator, who are bound not to disclose these details to anyone else.
It was not clear the extent to which his identity will continue to be shielded once he takes the witness stand in the trial in Middlesex County, N.J., court.
Students who lived in the same college dorm and have been called as witnesses in the trial described M.B. as about 30 years old and "sketchy."
One student witness got a laugh from the jury when she described him as "not obscenely old"; another said his age -- not that he was a man -- made his liaison with their dorm-mate "scandalous."
The Associated Press and Reuters contributed to this report.
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My goodness, these college kids seem inordinately concerned with age. I was hooking up with a woman ten years older than me when I was 20, and no one saw it as "obscene" or "scandalous". I know plenty of guys in their early 30s who date women in their early 20s... is it somehow different when it's between two men?
yes.It is and always will be gross
Really? Was there any tread left on that tire or was it basically like throwing a hotdog down a hallway?
A mature man knows that a woman doesn't have a "predetermined" number of lays and then she is no good. An experienced woman beats out a young virgin if you really know how to make love!. A young woman is more about a mans vanity than the actual sexual experience. Give me an experienced partner who is adventuresome and excited about a night of love making than some young drunk Co-ed that's just looking to get you off asap so she can feel she has something to hold you by!
Chris, I think any man that can truly call himself a man has been with a 30-year old in his early 20's. It's like accellerated learning at an important time in life. Plus, the older the violin the sweeter the music. Get ya some, buddy! SalMonella, older women (such as the 30 year old I was with in my early 20's) can be just as firm, tight, and beautiful as an 18 year old. So, don't knock it 'til you've tried it my man. God bless cougars!
In my opinion, that is quite a gap regardless of gender. I know a few girls who were dating 'older' men (in their early 30's) when I was 20ish and most of my peers back then thought that was 'odd' as well.
A 10 year gap when you are in your early 20's is a bit much. When you are closer to 30 and you date a guy in his late 30's it seems more natural. A 20 year old and a 30 year old are worlds apart. A 27 year old and someone in their late 30's just seems more reasonable for some reason.
because in this generation (the narcissistic generation of me" me" me") they think they will be forever young! sad and shallow isn't? ALL i can say when you are in love age doesn't matter!!! these kids don't know what love is...or moral values...
So they only can see and understand what they can put on a definition box :( again WE WILL HAVE to RE-EDUCATE society all over again...go back to the 70's and keep it REAL!!! is about time...!!!
Hey pained1 - I was thinking the same thing about the idea of you and your wife having sex - GROSS !!!
Did M.B. and T.C. both attend R.U. or did T.C. attend and M.B. just visited him at R.U. and if not, why?
M.B. was not a student. Reports on his age vary, I have read articles which indicate that he was 25, this one says he may have been 30. He visited Clementi both nights because they were on a date. Apparently, M.B. is not openly gay and was nervous about meeting at his own place, so they met at Tyler's dorm instead. Tyler was not completely out either, but he had told some friends and his family that he was gay.
Thanks Kev, that clears up a lot.
I agree with you all!! All three of you saved me from having to type all that and so I thank all three of you, for a job well done. Cause when I first started reading about "it," I'll tell you, it just wasn't making any sense to me until now.
Thanks!
Thee guys at a bar, one goes to the can. "How's your son doing?" Well, kind of in shock right now he broke it to us he is gay. But his lover just bought him a boat and promised to take me fishing. "How is your son?" Well this is quite amazing but he just broke the news to us also, but his lover bought him a car and we are going on a fishing trip. Third guy sits down. "How is your boy?" Awesome. In fact he is doing so well he bought a car for one of his friends and another a boat. Rummmpa! Too bad the boy just didn't live out in the open you are what you are. I knew the neighbor girl was gay since she was a little girl, grew up to be a fine person it matters none to me. Marlen your post was great.
I feel really sorry for this guy. He got dragged into the middle of this and now has to testify in open court about his sex life.
Ravi should be charged in the student's death. The poor guy wouldn't have jumped off the bridge if the jerk didn't invade his privacy.
I bet neil and alex beat you up all the time
Geddy that is just your opinion and not a fact.
He jumped not pushed.....
pained1, I think it is time for you to leave the discussion to the adults.
He jumped out of desperation, shame, probably bullied by the classmates...and found himself alone...not a good way to deal with it...sad...but he did not see other choice...NOW I hope Ravi can live with himself if not jailed just wait for KARMA to work its justice...always does....trust me...
If he was really gay...maybe he should have been more secure with his sexuality. Nothing wrong in my opinion with being gay, but dammit get some confidence and stop caring what the rest of the world thinks! Jumping because people found out??...pfff, what a wuss. Of course, I think anyone who takes the "easy way out" is a coward regardless of lifestyle.
I agree...reason why the easy way out is just that an escape...never a solution. On my end I would have come up with a plan...and make each and everyone pay...then walk passing by with a smile on my face... Reason why when you are gay you have to learn how to defend and attack to get back.
Respect sometimes is not earned, you have to demand it...Wish I were his friend before he jumped...he would've learned that little payback can be sweet...
If a fellow wants to jump off a bridge, and has personal reasons to do so, so be it.
Outside interference or encouragement or discouragement should not incriminate others.
What exactly is a "hate crime" anyway..."selective judgement?"
Clif Judy
Amen.
This was induced for the public video the jerk POSTED ONLINE...anybody would have been depressed and affected to do something of this magnitude...He should've seek some help and sue this jerk...but guess he just did not know how to confront it... You see being gay is not easy...takes a lot of B@@1$
And then some guts to just wipe it! with everybody elses' opinion...in other words be more strong than your average man. Believe me all the challenges they face in this society...do not help.
Is it wrong this gave me a boner?
I believe Ravi and the female should be charged with the student's death. He had clear intent on causing pain and shame to his roommate. 10 years in my estimation is not a strong enough sentence, more years need to be added as the student's family will have pain and sadness the rest of their lives. Too many people feel it's their 'right' to do and say what ever they please not thinking of the consequences which may lie ahead for all involved. Who knows possibly Ravi was a loser and felt he would be accepted and cool in doing what he has done, how cool is he now????
There was no " clear " intent, thus no charge. if you read the statements first given the police, Ravi was happy his roomie found someone. And that is what he was sharing. "Hey,Look who TC. is dating. Yaa."
Tyler had more problems than being gay. Had that been a hetero couple Ravi viewed, there would not even have been a blip on the radar. No, prosecutors want to make a name, Defense attorneys want to make a bundle. Gays want more special rights, and the rest of the population is too worried about paying bills or keeping gas in the car to worry about it.
Kettle calling the pot black....
This statement implies 2 things.
1, that gays have special rights now...wrong
2. Gays want special rights...wrong.
Had it been a hetero couple filmed kissing, then you're right, it would not have been a blip on the radar. But that is because filming a hetero couple kissing wouldn't have exposed anything people didn't already know about them. You can't "out" a hetero person.
Now, had the hetero couple been doing something sexually embarrassing (use your imagination), and this roommate showed other people, then that would be a more similar situation.
The fact is, the roommate took something so private, and exposed it. And clearly, Tyler wasn't emotionally prepared for that to go public. He obviously had a lot of shame and pain surrounding it.
And as far as "special rights" go, I'm not sure what you are referring to.
I think that Ravi is clearly guilty of violating their privacy and should face consequences for that, but I don't understand the "bias" charge. There doesn't seem to be any anti-gay hate or bullying from Ravi. I suspect that if it would have been a girl with Tyler instead of a man, that Ravi would still have invaded his privacy.
I think that there are more clear cases of anti-gay hate crimes that should be prosecuted with the same amount of energy/exposure this case is getting.
Also, I don't see how a 30 year old and 18 year old dating (man or woman) is "scandalous". Maybe not too common, but not really a big deal.
No one understands the bias charge, especially NJ residents who are barraged with info about this case on an hourly basis. This case has captured national attention, so it's likely that the prosecution went for everything that they thought could stick. A bias charge comes with a heftier jail term, so they are in the process of trying to prove that now. So far, the case for bias is kind of weak since those who testified for the prosecution so far have all said that he didn't have any sort of negative thoughts about gays, BUT who knows.
Why aren't they charging Ravi with murder, he drove the other student to do it?
And what is your factual non prejudiced proof of that?
Actually, there was a lot going on before Mr. Clementi decided to drive 50 miles north and end his life. First, he came out to his mom, who absolutely rejected him. Then his roommate tapped him twice (he found out about the first incident two days prior and had another encounter knowing that his roommate tapped him). Who knows what was going on in his classes and other personal issues, so what makes you think it was exclusively this tapping that led to his suicide? It very well could have been his cold, f-up mother who rejected her gay son. Or it could have been a million other things that led to his suicide.
Besides, that's not what the guy is on trial for.
NewTampaResident.......What if M.B. was so horrified that he created the Suicide Agenda? What if M.B. threatened "frail Tyler"? I think that M.B. paranoia has more to do with Tyler Suicide than a web cam or dorm mates! Either way NewTampa is an Idiot!
I dont totally understand this entire story. There was a girl involved somehow?.. Ravi, thought that was the roommate, a female?
Either way, sad someone felt THAT ashamed about being gay.
Ravi was his male roomate; Molly Wei, a female friend of Ravis came and was watching the video stream (and is another defendant)
Agree that it is very sad he took his life, I wonder if it was just being exposed as gay that caused this.
He seemed very talented and showed musical promise (he was a very good Violin player)
Put this idiot in jail. For a college student, an adult, to film his roommate unknowingly is very discouraging for the next generation. You have to set an example. This type of behavior, by an adult, will be punished.
Ravi didn't kill Tyler. Tyler jumped from a bridge. He was embarrassed that his homosexuality had been found out and not on his terms.
Ravi set up the camera to make sure this "30 year old stranger", didn't steal any of his computer equipment. There was no crime here. Tyler's parent's feel they need to punish someone, other than their son, for their son's own actions. Ravi had a right to be inquisitive about the security of his computer equipment and Tyler should have known better.
I hadn't heard that he set up the camera for the computer equipment. Of course, I did hear about Mrs. Clememti's rejection of her gay son when he told her right before. I think that had much more to do with his suicide than anything, but no one will really know for sure.
I'd love to know why MB's identity is being kept secret, too. I thought it was because he was under 18, but that's apparently not true.
You are correct that Ravi didn't kill Tyler, but you are wrong about everything else.
Is a mother's JOB to love her child ALWAYS. If she rejected him...hope she can find some forgiveness, 'cuz that she will have live with...if she is not already having nightmares.
Cnservatives have collective blood on their hands! their bias toward gay people caused this young man to believe that his life was over, after having his privacy invaded in this crude manner.Ii hope this miscreant gets every day he has coming in prison. Maybe 'bubba" will take a liking to him! Little rich boys have a hard time in prison.
First, no one knows why he jumped. Could be a million reasons. He just came out to dear old mom too, who didn't take it well.
Second, what does this have to do with conservatives? Trust me, Rutgers is FAR from a conservative university.
Kent, there was no mention of politics. I knew some ahole would bring it into this.
What if a female co-ed was taped with her boyfriend and the encounter broadcast all over the net. Then she committed suicide. Murder or invasion of privacy?
It's true Tyler killed Tyler. However, Anyone involved by any means should be held accountable for their part in this sad case. Obviously they did not murder the man but do we maybe, possibly think it might have pushed him over the edge? I have seen young men and young women both who could not take it anymore and have ended their life. It is a sad but true fact that being different is extremely hard. From the fat kid, to the nerd, to the poor kid, and the gay one. The next generation will not see beyond these differences until their parents do. Children mimic their guardian by example. Be aware!
Total invasion of privacy and then to announce it and do what this Ravi kid did, dispicable. These college students need to learn they are in the real world and not high school anymore and they are real consequences for their actions.
Ravi should be charged and go to jail, people, students, adults kids; no one will ever learn unless they see punishment for things like this. The poor student who jumped off the bridge did not deserve that treatment! He did nothing wrong. Ravi did everything wrong.
Seriously, if this was a girl he was involved with, his room mate would never have done this..he did it out of meaness and it is a hate crime that lead to suicide. Now as far as wrongful death? Nope..he didnt kill or injure the guy..just outed him to be an ass. He should be charged with a hate crime and invasion of privacy. But , to blame him for this kid choosing suicide? No, I dont think so.
I kind of think he would have done it whether his roommate was straight or gay. He just seems like that kind of an idiot. I think he should be held accountable for what he did - but I am not convinced it was a hate crime.
man killed himself cause someone caught him kissin another guy an now that roommate is in trouble thats bull we use to tease all time an no one ever commited suicde guess the gay comunitty just cant take it
And I guess you are just an idiot.
Wow sctt77, you added so little to the conversation.
sctt77: Is easy to see you DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN DO YOU? if it was you...could you take it??? huh???
It's not right to blame this guy.Clementi had more personal issues before he committed suicide.He was living a lie by not just telling people he was gay.It ate him up inside and when it came out he couldn't handle it.Ravi had no business trying to catch him in the act and putting it out there.It was an invasion of privacy.But the underlying fault was a young man that couldn't just be truthful with his sexuality.If he had let Ravi know he was gay then Ravi would never had tried to find out or do this at all.There would have been nothing to "joke" about.
It seems that M.B. is getting special treatment that a woman wouldn't have gotten had she been Clementi's love interest. This bothers me. When will gays stop getting preferential treatment. Remember, this case is called "People v. Ravi". The people are us and we have a right to know who this man is. If gays want to come out of their closets or be given equal treatment in a society that mostly rejects their behavior, they've got no business looking for gender-distorted immunity.
Witness identities are protected all the time. We'll forgive you for your misguided rant.