"Give the principal at least the benefit of a doubt." Agreed.

If he didn't do this he would probably end up getting sued when one kid "inappropriately" touched another student.

The rule should be that if a complaint is filed against a student for inappropiate behavior for more than two times then that student should be barred from hugging and if they continue to do so they should face disciplinary actions. All of the students should not be punished for the actions of a few. This has always irked me to no end that all should be punished for anothers bad decisions.

Another case of punish everyone for what a few are doing.

If inappropriate 'hugging' is happening, the offenders should be put on notice. Don't deprive all the kids of a natural human expression of caring.

Kids this age are totally peer-oriented. Being able to hug a friend who was just chosen for the lead in the school play -- or to put your arm around a friend who didn't make the cut -- is as important a part of life for them as for any of us.

We are really touch-phobic as a society. That's one reason why this is an issue. Touch seems to be equated with sexual motives. There are important connections between human beings other than sex!

Steve... Appropriate social interactions are one of the elements of our kids education. If the school can't have friends hug without it leading to preganancy, then the school and the parents need some very serious help.

It's not "Sexual Hugrassment" if I like it.......................

No, it's a control issue. We've seen others schools do similar things and instead of saying the students need to act appropriate (as they would in front of their parents) they go to the idiotic extreme and say no hugging.

Think back to your school days, how common was it to see friends greet each other with a friendly hug? Remember this school isn't saying no hugs between boys and girls, or no humping in the hall... they just said no hugging of any kind period.

I put this in the same catagory as the government officials shutting down a kids lemonade stand for not getting a $400 dollar street vendors license or permit.

They should also ban Winnie the Pooh quotes in that school. Might as well go on an emotional purge altogether...

Because no one ever goes all the way in Catholic schools, oh wait..

Is the school suppose to teach the students the proper way for members of opposite sexes to hug? Currently even adults don't how would we expect our kids to hug proper when we don't?

David, if you have problems with Catholic schools, post it in an appropriate forum.

@DLC: So there's a proper way to hug? According to whom?

But a quick titty squeeze is still okay, right?

Please, most of the hugs I got and gave in school were the quick "sorry you're having a rough day" type. Strictly platonic.

Hugging, in my opinion, is a an acceptable form of free expression. Even in the business world, is is not unusual to exchange a quick hug with someone we've known for some time. Instead of dealing only with the problem behavior, schools these days seem to want to make their lives easy by banning acceptable things and punishing everyone.

Why not ban inappropriate hugging instead of all hugging? If two friends meet before school and want to share a hug, why is that any of the school's business? I say we are on the border of stomping on first amendment rights here, namely freedom of speech and expression.

CogitoErgo - You hit the nail on the head when you mentioned parents. You have no idea how many parents think their job ends after the umbilical cord is cut. They think the school's job is to teach their children manners...it is not! Common courtesy used to be taught at home.

I am not going to waste 10 minutes of a 26 minute English class teaching social etiquette when a parent can't be bothered to say "hello" to their child when they come home from work.

Sounds like there were a few bad apples, and rather than deal with them individually, they punished everyone. very sad...

Common courtesy used to be taught at home.

Perhaps, but we were given etiquette classes in my school in Maryland in the '60s. Why should schools NOT teach how to behave properly? Isn't teaching their job? Learning isn't just about how to multiply and who was President in 1880. If the kids are acting inappropriately, then act on the inappropriate behavior itself, not any perceived action that might LEAD to inappropriate behavior. TEACH them; it's your JOB!

Steve,

I agree with you. It seems, from my experience, which is of course, very limited in the grand scheme, that parents have become much less involved... I would think some of the reason may be apathy, but I would also mention that with the economy and today's and the future's (think college fund) financial demands, the charges on the parents time are inordinately high.

There are probably a good number of teachers, I would wager, who are equally guilty with regard to the amount of time they give to their kids (I come from a family of educators so I've seen a good deal).

Given what a precious gift our children are and the fact that we bequeath the future of the planet to them, I would think we should all give our priorities a check and make sure they are planted firmly at the top of our lists!

blog ReadingThinkingAndWriting com

Steve-2570999

You do realize we have the highest rate of teen pregnancy of ANY non-third world country.

I hope this does not come as a shock, but ( brace yourself) a girl cannot become pregnant by being hugged.

Sad. So sad. Our children are already emotionally deprived. What do you think leads to childhood pregnancy? Hint: it's not hugging. Children who engage in sex are children whose parents failed to meet their emotional needs.

Irresponsible and uninterested parents are the problem, and it won't be solved by prohibiting expressions of affection and support.

Be nice if they told us what these previous incidents were and what was done about them. Wordweevil is right; we don't have enough information to form a credible judgement (not that that will stop anyone).

If you get pregnant from hugging, you're doing it wrong.

To all who are freaking out about a hug...maybe you should read the story.

...following some "incidents of unsuitable, physical interactions."

I don't believe they were talking about an innocent little hug. Maybe a bit of an over-reaction but schools have to do what's necessary to maintain a focus on EDUCATING.

When asked for a comment, Tom Hanks said, "There's no hugging in middle school!"

Stupid.

Please, ban Principles who are such idiots that they can't figure out intelligent ways to handle their problems.

Otherwise, you might as well start moving your children to a rock quarry for their higher education.

You really missed the point about Catholic schools, that cracking down to puritanical admonishments will not stop teens from doing things like this. The problem was with the ones who do the inappropriate hugging, and a school-wide mandate won't make a difference.

We must leave room for Jesus! 12 inches apart please!

What a Fundamentalist Crock of Crap!

The American Taliban raising it's ugly head again!

Blanket punishments just show a lack of creativity and/or intelligence on the principals part. You could use your brain a little here and come up with a solution that does not punish a bunch of kids that didn't do anything wrong.

howie, it's not the school's job to teach kids how to behave, it's their parent's job. taking time out of learning to teach these kids how to act is ridiculous.

I want to sue that principal for his pension. Clearly my child is obese because he failed in his duty to detect inappropriate actions by children under his command (uh, leadership). A real principal (heil) would have done the appropriate thing and banned food from the campus as a way of avoiding inappropriate or ill advised use of food.

Puritans! Gack!

If you can't tell the difference between a platonic hug and a "hormone driven bump and grind", you REALLY shouldn't be employed in a school.

This strikes me as an example of something that has become all too common in our culture -- people don't want to think. They want cars that will beep at them to tell them to buckle their seat belts, word processors that automatically correct misspelled words, phones that decide for themselves what you MEANT to type in that text message -- and bosses that give simple, zero tolerance rules that a robot could follow. Heaven forbid someone actually use their intelligence to judge things on a case by case basis.

Holy crap!! You know, this is just the start, right? What's next....you're not allowed to look another student in the eye and smile at them?? I'm not at all convinced that this isn't brought on by some right-wing pressure stirred up by all the social conservative anti-sex rhetoric being bantered about by Santorum, Gingrich, Bat-sh*t Crazy Bachmann and the rest of the "make war, not love" crowd!

I agree with a lot of the peeps on here who are saying that this rule actually promotes anti-social behavior in our kids. Some may say that it's only a rule while school is in session, and that it's only for 6-7 hours a day. However long it is, it still is telling the kids that showing love and affection towards your fellow students and even faculty is considered lewd behavior. Who knows whether or not this may push students in the wrong direction....being mean, even physically aggressive towards fellow students.

Given a choice between the two, I'd rather have students show affection than to show aggression towards fellow students. JEEZ!!!

Hugging is a natural way to show happiness and to comfort. Think about the team making a touchdown or winning the game, or someone coming back to school after a long absence, or someone who didn't make the team or the squad and they need the comfort of a hug...totally appropriate. This principal needs to define the hugs he wants to ban - he could use a hug himself. Hugs aren't all about the dreaded 'sex'.

Let's see, little kids are getting suspended for drawing guns, for bringing an aspirin to school, for having pink hair, for wearing a Pepsi shirt on Coke day, and in Florida being charged with aggravated assault for throwing a piece of paper, and now.. hugging. (google any of these if you don't believe me). What we are really teaching kids is "conform or be cast out"... literally.

Every kid at this school should go hug the principal.

...despite the rule, students who hug will not be suspended.

So what we have is just an idle threat - never to be enforced.

I remember my school having the same policy some 15 years ago. Hugging was lumped into the PDA policy. Nobody really got in trouble but if an adult saw you they called you out.

It is sad that we are not as proactive in stopping bullying as we are hugging. What is wrong with this picture?

I work at a high school and we just tap the kids on the sholder that are "hugging" inappropriately and tell them to knock it off. How else are they going to learn what is appropriate and what isn't? This principal just doesn't want to do his job.

No hugs for Mozzie!

Anyway, my daughter's class is learning the waltz and the square-dance. Today is the day the kids show it off to the school. Not only did they learn how to dance these routines, but they also learned a lesson in etiquette - learning how to act like proper gentlemen and young ladies in this type of seeting. I see nothing wrong with the school doing this. Some kids are actually having fun. They all have to dress up for the occasion. My daughter will have a nice time. Plus they are being graded...

And I thought "Stranger Danger" was getting out of hand

Good grief.....

This follows a report that some London schools are starting to "teach kids" NOT TO HAVE "best friends" because.....the tramua of losing a best friend when they transfer from school or what not.

Educational psychologist Gaynor Sbuttoni said the policy has been used at schools in Kingston, South West London, and Surrey.

She added: "I have noticed that teachers tell children they shouldn't have a best friend and that everyone should play together.

"They are doing it because they want to save the child the pain of splitting up from their best friend. But it is natural for some children to want a best friend. If they break up, they have to feel the pain because they're learning to deal with it."

http://www.rumormillnews.com/cgi-bin/forum.cgi?read=234427

Yep, Mr. Obama's European model is starting to reach the shores of America with this soon to be "No Hugging" MANDATE throughout the country.

It is high time these "educators" start doing what they went to college for....TEACH OUR DAD GUM CHILDREN. If they are more set on "social issues", then they should find another job.

Maybe these educators should do some research on graduation rates, etc., and RE-FOCUS on what they are doing in the classroom instead of the school halls.

Sometimes I think the puritans are winning. But in reality, I think it's just the lawyers. A justice system that would allow a school to be sued because of the unlawful actions of the one student is what causes Principles to make such drastic moves. If I were the students, I would have a hug-in...but based on my own experiences of these types of things in my own youth, only the "bad" kids would participate and everyone else will just go along with whatever their told because of fear. It's so sad the way kids are treated.

... Who cares?

The first time I had to deal with the unyielding, bureaucratic bs of the public school system I yanked my kids out and home schooled them. I will not stand aside and watch my children's freedoms be removed by a bunch of snot-nosed wannabe dictators. As I removed each child, I have four, from each school my parting words to each principal were, "Hope you understand you just lost the money you receive from the federal government for this child to attend this school."

ido-Yep, Mr. Obama's European model is starting to reach the shores of America with this soon to be "No Hugging" MANDATE throughout the country.

i don't know, it could have also been the elite liberal media's fault!!!! or bush's.

it's not the school's job to teach kids how to behave, it's their parent's job. taking time out of learning to teach these kids how to act is ridiculous.

That's YOUR opinion. Why should schools NOT teach children how to behave? That IS learning! Learning is not just facts and figures. Ignoring lessons on how to behave and how to treat others, and simply ASSUMING the parents have provided that training, GUARANTEES that a significant portion of our children will grow up WITHOUT such knowledge. And that will only make the next generation that much worse than it is now.

It's hard to imagine this was once a normal country.

Thank you lawyers for making every institution afraid to breathe. Hope you all sleep fat and happy. Then I hope your demented kids come at you when you're sleeping and cover your face with a pillow.

The Principal is probably upset because nobody wants to hug him!

Next stop on the crazy train, no more sex-ed. Let them figure it out on their own.

This is different, if it was California they would be passing out condoms, and demonstrating how to use them.

OK - I'm from the area. From what I understand there was an excessive amount of inappropriate physical contact between 6th and 8th graders. The kids were calling it "hugging" but it was more than what you or I would consider a platonic hug. The principle went on the loudspeaker and made an annoucement to the kids in the school that they were a no "hugging" school so that the trend would stop because it was becoming a distraction.

Nothing is going to happen to any kid who gives a regular hug. But those kids who wrap themselves around one another tightly and press themselves against each other in the hall (almost dry h*mping) are not going to be able to claim they are "just hugging" to get out of being in trouble because now everyone is aware that "hugging" is against the rules.

It's a sad result of our hypersexualized kids and their blind parents who could never imagine their innocent 12 year old kid doing anything wrong, let alone address it with them at home.

Xina is Awesome

If the problem is inappropriate physical contact, then you ban the inappropriate physical contact, not hugging. We shouldn't need to explain these simple concepts to school administrators. This is just another example of a zero-tolerance policy that absolves them of the responsibility to think and use judgement.

A sensible voice in the wilderness. Thanks, Xina. You are awesome.

Stupid, Stupid, STUPID!! I once went to my little girl's kindergarten teacher conference and the teacher had a bunch of wonderful things to say about my child but then at the end said that she "hugs too much". I said "excuse me?" The lame-ass teacher says she hugs all of her friends when she sees them and when the leave and it was too much. I stood up and said "if that's the worst thing my daughter is doing, then I'm pretty damn proud!" and walked out!

Ridiculous! She's 5!

These principles and teachers sound cold and are teaching these children no social skills! If they worry about something being inappropriate, then TEACH them the difference! Duh! Next it'll be "no saying hello or verbal greetings!"

Sheez! Idiots!

It's a sad result of our hypersexualized kids and their blind parents who could never imagine their innocent 12 year old kid doing anything wrong, let alone address it with them at home.

Wrong

It is the sad result of overly-sensitive adults reacting to kids who are obviously trying to get a reaction. It's a passive aggressive form of rebellion. They know it's inappropriate... they want a reaction... they want to act out... so they do it, hoping to get a reaction. And look what happens.

Now you are going to see these same kids giving a normal hug in front of adults, again to get a reaction... they will push it to the very limit. Once this adult turns their back, they will go into the "dry-hump" phase as another act of rebellion.

This is basic child psychology... good job playing right into their game.

Derek: Please ban people who don't know the difference between Principals and Principles.

NO PDA!!!!! There is no real need for any kind of public affection or aggression. Absolutely none. When you want to congragulate a friend or comfort them it should be in privacy or at the very least in an empty hall. I can't tell you the number of times I was late to class because some dumb fools were taking up the hallway for extended "hugs". Then when explaining why I was late, I was the one punished for being late, not them for being an impedinment in my ability to get to class. (We weren't allowed to carry backpacks or several books so a trip to the locker between classes was required.)

I am curious if the teachers are in this assessment of student behavior. Do they know what excessive hugging is and do they have the permission to tell the kids to stop it. Some Principals have a hard time backing a teacher's decision. This is particularly awkward because most teachers aren't even allowed to "touch" students.

Who determines what is appropriate or inappropriate hugging? That's the problem that the "pro huggers" don't get. They assume that they get to call the shots as to when people hug. Here's some news for you to chew on - someone, somewhere didn't like you hugging them!

The Principal is at least saying that if it is on school, it's inappropriate. I don't get why people seem to think that children need to get their physical contact/personal shows of affection training at school - they are there to learn and I'm sorry, hugging isn't on the curriculum! In case you can't tell, I LOATH huggers! I hate dodging someone who thinks that leaning into me is some sort of appropriate greeting. I don't want to smell your aftershave, perfume, feel your sweat, or worse, smell your breath! I hug my close friends and family, but please, when did hugging replace a friendly handshake, slap on the back, touch on the arm? Way to go Principal for establishing some guidelines on behavior!

Bologna Sandwich- My son is turning 4 next month and he had the same issue in preschool. I thought the same thing you do, until I saw what was happening with my own eyes was that the other kids he was hugging didn't want to be hugged. Everyone has different comfort levels regarding physical contact, and some kids are "huggier" than others. No child should be made to feel uncomfortable by another.

I've since begun to teach my son to ask "can I have a hug?" before he hugs a friend and if they say no, then he should leave them alone and say "ok maybe later".

A lot of comments from people that never worked in a middle school or even a high school. Getting 500 or more kids to move from classroom to classroom in a timely matter can be difficult without a lot of supervision. If it was up to the kids they would spend 30 minutes from the end of one class until they arrived to the next class. In reality they have 4 minutes in most schools. There is no time for hugging, walking your boyfriend or girlfriend to their class, making phone calls, checking your voice mails, texting, fixing your hair, fixing your makeup, or anything else. In a school of 800 kids I processed about 100 tardies most days. Without constant vigilance they would be locked at the lips if left alone to their own devices. They sure were 40 years ago when I was in school. Then there is the safety issue. Kids today fight over the most trivial issues. A friendly hug can set off a jealous boyfriend or girlfriend and a fight sometimes involving multiple kids can ensue. Things can morph and escallate in ways you can't believe. In the school I worked in using a pen to mark someone's arm in the hall without getting caught morphed in stabbing each other with pens and pencils causing injuries.

School Nazis at work again. So glad we homeschool.

What kind of world do we live in when "others" can control the simple affectionate act of hugging, an act that can demonstrate we are caring humans at school or work?

Sad, very sad.

Indie - so what are you saying the appropriate response to rebellious behavior by children is?

Ignore it?

That might work as a form of parenting, but the school administration is not a parent and does not need to follow the latest hippie feel good parenting philosophy of only rewarding good behavior to extinguish those behaviors you don't like.

If you don't like cussing at home, feel free to ignore the cussing from your child and only answer him when he speaks nicely. That might work as a parenting technique. But don't expect the school to treat it the same way if one of the rules is to not cuss. Your little snowflake will get detention. He will learn if he doesn't want detention he will not cuss. Yes he may find another way to rebel, or possibly cuss under his breath out of earshot. Those incidents will be handled seperately.

Just because undesirable behavior is a form a childhood rebellion doesn't mean it should be ignored.

Here's another bit of child Psychology for you. Children crave boundaries. They test them repeatedly because it is reassuring to know where those lines are. It is our job to provide them with those boundaries and enforce them. Studies have proven that children who have conduct boundaries in place and are disciplined when those boundaries are breached feel more loved and cared for than those children who do not have clearly defined boundaries and are rarely disciplined. Children perceive being "watched over" as being "taken under a wing". Parents and to a lesser extent schools (as proxy caregivers) have an obligation to be clear, consistant and objective when setting and enforcing these rules. It's lazy parenting to do anything less.

Hugging/touching people without their consent, and obstructing traffic in the hallway by any means, are separate issues that can be dealt with without the need for a blanket ban on hugging.

Sounds like the NWO is permeating more of our lives/ freedoms- soon we'll all be turned into zombified automatons forced to serve the rich elites who run the show.

I say to each child at this school to resist- hug one another constantly. What will they do? Shut down the school?

I know we have to keep schools safe, But some of these bans they keep coming up with makes me so glad I am not in the school system of this generation!!! Some of the 50+ will remember the tight hip huger jeans with the wide belts.We were allowed to hug our friends, hold hands with our girl/boy friend and look how the schools are now. It's not about what we can teach kids today it's about how they can or can not look, act or feel.No wonder or kids today are in so much trouble. Let them be kids!! They will figure it all out later......we did!!!!

Yep, Mr. Obama's European model is starting to reach the shores of America with this soon to be "No Hugging" MANDATE throughout the country.
This article had nothing to do with Obama, can you make anything into a partisan issue?

Ash - it's not so much that the kids were hugging without consent or blocking traffic. From what I understand the boys were hugging the girls closely, tightly and popping wood. Only instead of being embarrassed about it like kids were in my day; they kept doing it because they thought it was funny, sexy, adult, whatever.

Would it have been better in your books if the principle had banned erections?

Somehow I think that would have been hard to do with a school full of 12-13 year old boys.

Or would it have been better if he had laid out specific rules such as "a hug must last no more than 2-3 seconds and contact should be made primarily at the shoulder level. Any contact outside of this will be deemed inappropriate. yadda yadda yadda" And then we set hall monitors with stop watches to enforce the appropriatness of the "hug."

I think what he did was appropriate.

David I went to Catholic Schools and I never saw or experienced inappropriate behavior in 12 years. One school had 1132 students the other had 700. And I would say nobody had any problems. Older children looked after younger children can you say that about your school?

congrats lonereb but you're the exception not the rule. i dated a girl in a catholic school the entire time she went to high school. if you needed any drugs that was the place to get them. girls were far more promiscuous there than at the public high school i attended. the brother school to my girlfriend's constantly had fights and other forms of discipline problems and i knew this from hanging out with the guys that went to it. hell, one night there had to be 70 cars at the school to watch a fight between 2 students in the parking lot when school wasn't open.

In our sue happy society there needs to be clear cut rules. "No hugging" makes it objective and clear. If you do a "well, if you have 2 complaints against you for inappropriate hugging, then you will be barred from hugging", you run into some problems. As an attorney once explained at a sexual harassment training... "Harrassment is in the opinion of the recipient." So if an ugly, smelly kid tries to innocently hug a popular cheerleader type, she could cry harassment and it would be so. If an attractive jock she has a crush on grinds up against her and gets a little feely during a hug, it's a non-issue if she's flattered and doesn't mind. A "no hugging" rule eliminates all that.

How about being open about sexuality and helping kids deal with these feelings appropriately. Hugging is not the problem. It is not teaching kids that these feelings are normal. It is supposed to feel good. What happens if people feel good about themselves instead of being crammed with TOXIC SHAME,is they can grow into their sexuality insted of constantly sneaking. Religion has caused such trouble in this world with their archaic beliefs about men and women. Whatever a child feels, be it anger, love, hate, fear etc, they are all normal human emotions. It is our job as adults to help them acknowledge those feelings and learn to deal with them appropriately. Perhaps then children will know it is okay to refuse drugs, sexual experiences before they are ready and that there are other ways to deal with conflict other than violence and destruction... Just a thought.

I knew it. The re"pig"licans and the "con"servatives cannot get enough with trying to make laws to violate and harrass women through victimizing women during medically necessary abortions, which are very healthy and a great treatment for many problems and issues. Now, the evil, manipulative, and awful morons and idiots who are complete pigs (re"pig"li"con") are trying to create laws and regulations to control our kids just because they cannot handle in their little minds (small brains because they are stupid and less evolved, mainly because they do not believe in evolution. That is how stupid they are.) that our youth can actually have a healthy relationship with someone without wanting or having sex. Just because you (I'm only talking about the re"pig"licans) are inappropriate and sexually deviant does not mean than our children our too. Even though most of the re"pig"licans are child molesters, rapists, and in denial about being homosexual (which is ok you all, just admit to it, and I mean the homosexuality, not being a child molester and rapist, which is very very bad, you disgusting pigs), they try to project their devilish and hitler-like thoughts and feelings onto women and the children, which is just not ok. Someone needs to stop these re"pig"licans and "con"servatives. Please, please, please, I am begging someone to do good and stop the evil and disease and virus of the re"pig"licans and "con"servatives. They are beyond bad, they are the root of all evil, especially the tea party members. They are such hypocrites. This story is support that the re"pig"licans say one thing and then do another. They are always preaching about big government and the need to reduce spending and the size and authority of the government. However, when it comes to trying to make everyone else believe their stupid and absurd beliefs, which are usually discriminatory, anti non-christians, racist, sexist, and bias to begin with, the re"pig"licans want as many laws as possible and want the government to get lots of funding to carry out these idiotic and horrible laws. In addition, the re"pig"licans do not have problems passing laws and making the government bigger to give more money to the churches and the re"pig"lican politicians. From what they have said, just the fact of the re"pig"lican being in political office is hypocritical since they do not want the government in our business. But as long as they can make themselves rich and their companies rich and destroy the country and the earth, they will violate their own beliefs (hypocrite) to try and "take over" and manipulate others. Therefore, it is rediculous that the re"pig"licans continue to try and control us, women, and now our children because they cannot handle themselves, we all have to suffer. The children should be allowed to hug and be taught what a proper and appropriate hug is. Oh, I forgot that the re"pig"licans hate education and do not like teaching our children. So, they just think it is easier to ban everything and have the government continue to get bigger and bigger so as to make everyone else in control by the government through "con"servative policies. All re"pig"licans and "con"servatives are bad people and do not deserve to be in the wonderful and beautiful country, which is founded on and healthy through openness, diversity, change, and evolution.

Unbelievably stupid policy. Reminds me of a joni mitcchell lyric:

"Back in 1957
We had to dance a foot apart
And they hawk-eyed us from the sidelines
Holding their rulers without a heart..."

Blue-haired prudish idiots then, grey-haired prudish idiots now.

When oh when will the uptight just up and die?

In clear defiance of one the most idiotic rules I've ever heard of, the students should organize a walk out, meet out on the playground and have a gigantic group hug. If I didn't have to leave right now I'd rant a whole hell of a lot more.

"The re"pig"licans and the "con"servatives"

Good grief, Zen, how old are you? I've never seen so much brainwashed drivel contained in a single post, and on these boards that's saying something!

It's because I'm not brainwashed and I speak the truth. You are the brainwashed one for saying that. I'm not attacking you but just stating the facts of the reality of what is really driving the demise and destruction of this country and our youth and women and citizens. The re"pig"licans and "con"servatives. They have destroyed and continued to destroy our great country. We will not find peace and a lot of progress until the re"pig"licans are out of the country. You are in denial and ignorant if you do not understand and believe that this policy is created by the stupid and moronic pigs and "con"servatives.

Wake up AG99 and help us be more progressive, positive, and healthy through freedom and love. No more secrets, deceit, and lies from the re"pig"licans.

Zen, when you use that kind of language, I just can't take you seriously. It sounds ludicrously juvenile.

Most republicans are evil, manipulative, awful, stupid, moronic child molesters, rapists, and closet homosexuals who hate education? They are bad people who don't deserve to live here?

I can't even extract all the nonsense in your post. It's disturbing to realize you actually believe that.

zen..you are just brainwashed by a different set of people than conseratives are...sheesh...you don't realize that??? Also zen, because of the support teachers unions get from democrats and visa versa, most of our academic personnel are democrat. So, that kind of washes your political stance down the drain.

Wake up AG99 and help us be more progressive, positive, and healthy through freedom and love.

And it would be much easier to find credibility in your belief of progressive, positive and health through freedom and love if you practiced what you preached. I for one believe that I will get my positive input from another source, other than you.

Random thought to break up the seriousness.... If my kid ever came home with a detention slip with "hugging" or "excessive hugging" as the misbehaviour, I think i'd frame it. Or at the very least, I imagine decades roll by and I show it to my grandkids one day, exclaiming what a hoodlum their mom/dad was back in the ol' days. Damn punk kids and their affection.

msfruhauf: Love your avatar. Hailing frequencies open!

Xina-

Yeah, heaven forbid the school administrators should have to come up with any rules with actual thought put into them, or use actual judgement to distinguish between innocuous hugs and ones that border on sexual harassment. That's such a chore; much better to just institute zero tolerance, so there's no thinking required.

Zen, im a republican, and i think you re spouting complete bull@!$%# the republicans dont want a bigger government, we want a smaller one. we want the state to be in more control, and if you ask me, i dont think any of us are "child molesters, or fascists or rapists"where do you get this @!$%#? i dont care who is pres, for that matter as long as we dont start another war and end up launching nukes everywhere the thing is a principal decided to lay down another school law because he is too dumb to address the situition any other way, how does this have anything to do with republicans and conservatives? it doesn't your just talking to be heard and dont get that nobody cares about you opinion, if anything it sounds subversive, why do people always take things out of porportion, why do we care? it is one school, and is not that big of a deal, hold your hugs til your of school property then hug your damn brains out!

You must work for a small company. After the "sensitivity" training (and related law-suit stories) I received at a corporation I worked for, I wouldn't dare touch a person in the work place. Not just touch, I wouldn't even comment on their appearance or perfume/cologne.

No. Very large hospital system. Unfortunately, been to where you're talking about at another place. It was horrible.

chefaz, in this day and age I find that amazing. Didn't you receive a manual from HR when you started working there that lets you know what is and isn't appropriate behavior?

From my experience, this principle is training the kids for real-life in the workplace.

I may have. Was probably too busy "vining" to read it. :)

My behavior is not unique there. We all get to go to work and get hugs (only if we want them) AND get paid. It's been this way at any hospital I've worked. There may be hospitals that are more like what you are talking about but happily, I'm not aware of them. The horrible place that I referred to was not a hospital, BTW.

Chefaz--Are you a nurse? In my experience, nurses are big on hugs and friendly pats. Makes sense because there are a lot of studies supporting the idea that physical human contact, especially with children, promotes healing and well-being. I worked in a hospital kitchen for a while, and the nurses at the hospital were always hugging everybody. It was rather nice, actually. Gave a person the sense that they mattered.

hs321, I recommend a new job! haha!

Seriously though, working in a place where I wasn't allowed to hug people would be absolutely horrible. We are all hugs and kisses where I work too. Its wonderful. Human contact is extremely healthy. If I ever need a hug, I barely need to ask. And everyone is very in-tune with each other. You don't get away with being a sour puss for very long, because people know when you're out of sorts.

Didn't you receive a manual from HR when you started working there that lets you know what is and isn't appropriate behavior?

Thank god those don't exist in my field. Or they might... one copy... never opened... in the bottom drawer of the boss' desk.

If you have a problem, you go to the boss, but people in my profession are so easy going that this rarely happens.

I guess thats what you get from people in theatre. Oh and on the note of this article, I think thats ridiculous. I hugged my friends all of the time in middle school and high school.

I would be very upset if anyone at my work tried to hug me.

Frankly, if I haven't had you over to my house or been to yours, you really shouldn't be touching me at all IMO.

I feel skeeved just thinking about it.

Thank you Xina the Awesome. It's nice to know that I am not the only one who shirks away from unwanted physical interaction :)

Shying away from all physical contact is something that goes against our very nature. Its like the horse that doesn't want to be a part of the herd. Its just unusual.

Mandy- it's not as unusual as you think. Everyone has different levels of comfort with phyiscal interaction. No one should be made to feel uncomfortable. Your analogy of a horse is a little rude, but I'll go with it. It's not that I don't want to be a part of MY herd. Its that you are a horse from a DIFFERENT herd and I feel skittish with you. This is a natural reaction in most animals who form close emotional groups, packs, herds, tribes, etc. that they do not associate as freely with members of other groupings.

You clearly work in a theater setting in which your body is an instrument of your craft. If you were not comfortable with physical touching, you would not be able to succeed in your profession. You are at the other end of the spectrum of touchy feeliness.

I am not against hugs by friends or family. I am CONSTANTLY hugging and kissing my son and husband.

People with whom I do not share a close emotional bond I feel uncomfortable touching. I would be upset if someone at work hugged me because that is inappropriate behavior ina professional setting. I also do not hug my waitress, my doctor, or the kid who makes my pizza. I am friendly with these people, but they are not my friends.

I had a hugger for a store manager when the regulations about sexual harassment were first put into effect. On my birthday he was so afraid to give me a birthday hug I said loud and clear in front of the office staff I want my hug and I'll tell you if you are out of line. That got applause in the office because he was never out of line. We were a family of 250 people most of which had worked together for 10 years the managers were the ones who changed so we had to adjust every two years to a new style and they had to adjust to the climate of the store.

I think that it is wonderful that people are still willing to go against those "manuals" and give a hug!! I feel sorry for people who don't want them, no matter if this person is a stranger or not. It does depend on the situation, of course, but if I have had a bad day, it does make me feel better that there are still people out there that want to make me feel better with a hug or a comforting pat on the back. I'm sure that will be the next thing that is taken away...LOL! HUGGGGGGGSSSSSSS to all!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, wasnt meaning to be offensive with horse, just using a herd animal as an example.

I agree. Have these adults lost the ability to communicate the difference between a social greeting hug and inappropriate, sustained physical contact in public? These aren't first graders, they are high school students.

I'll wager he's a fervent Frothy supporter.

Good, home school your inappropriately behaving children! Disruptive little brats!

My daughter is in middle school and they actually have a no-touch policy. She can, seriously, be held after school if she helps someone up who has fallen in the hall. This kind of zero-tolerance bull is just a sign of how sad public school can be. There are blanket policies and no one bothers to deal with issues individually. The kids are more like cattle than children.

That is just horrible, capecodmom. Geez.

It's all lawsuit-driven. More and more school policies are developed not for the well-being of the students and teachers, but because some d*ck had a problem and either sued or threatened to sue instead of resolving it like a rational being. Alternately, a judge will force the schools to comply with a ruling that makes no educational or financial sense, because a very tiny percentage of students had a problem.

A large portion of the population seems to think that any government-funded organization is some kind of "loot pinata" with infinite money, which means administration everywhere is desperate to mitigate liability.

Pretty soon they'll just go back in time and make boys schools and girls schools

The problem with regulations is the idiots they put in charge. Zero tolerance on weapons includes green plastic army men. Those wimpy bayonets are dangerous. It seems that teachers these days leave their common sense in their cars when they come to work.

Lol.

It's "this man has no dick", but eh, it's a movie quote. Accuracy doesn't matter.

LOL! I thought, at first, I read ur name as Peter Venkman! Nice tribute to The Ghostbusters!

You seem more concerned about their physical "needs" than you are about the fact that more and more "Johnnys" can't read or make change.

What does hugging have to do with reading or making change? For crying out loud, they are kids. Kids hug all the time...its what they do. They dont know what professionally is and they shouldn't have to at that age. Hugging a part of human interaction...so those who agree with the prinicipal agree that human interaction should not be promoted? No wonder why children grow up to be the way they are....they are forced to obey rules that promote anti-social activity. Emotionally and psychologically, hugging is a necessity of life. Hugging is way that people show love, care, kindness, and their happiness along with showing depression, and sadness. At that age, Mr. ArrowHead, their physical need is the most important part of their life. Teaching them the necessities of life like reading, writting, emotional interaction with others of their age, regardless of sex and/or race. Children live on the human touch...it is the most powerful way of showing concern and love. I could go on and on about this but I won't. I believe my point has been made.

If teachers were actually teaching instead of teaching the test to keep all the federal micromanagers happy maybe they could teach reading and math. But it seems they spend time policing hugs, speech,dress codes,toys, lunches and the names of holidays instead. If my governor was ever to turn our state maps over to a geography teacher nobody south of San Antonio would ever find where they were going.To dang many cities named after saints.

Very true and they are teaching this in churhes always touchy,huggy.What happened to the unspoken rule of 1 arms length between the next person so close you can feel their breath..

That is because in church, Mr or Mrs. Fluffer, the power of love is shown best through the human touch. It is because Jesus showed love through human interaction. When He healed people, He didnt just say the words, He touched them to showed them that He truly cared. Perhaps those who are against have psychological issues from their childhood who are emotionally unable to show a child love?

Some of my elementary school teachers hugged me. I'm not scarred.

In elementary the nuns sometimes gave us a hug, my motorcycle group meeting never starts until everybody gets a hug from the members four children in our kids group. I would seriously miss those hugs. In karate one of the master instructors would if a kid started crying pick them up swing them around and put them back on their feet.Never saw happier kids. Maybe you fear touch interaction I do not.Nor does my daughter who would jump at a chance to work rings with that master instructor. All touch is not inappropiate some is neccesary to human comfort.

My thoughts exactly Nemesis!! Just look at the kids today, they don't have the same emotional feelings towards each other as they did 20-30 years ago. If someone doesn't want a hug, speak up. Maybe they should teach these kids to speak up when they are uncomfortable instead of taking away a normal and much needed hug! Taking away these types of things will just make these middle school kids feel more awkward then they already feel at this age. Putting these rules in affect will only make learning more difficult than it already is. You want kids to enjoy going to school for the social as well as the academic side to it, not make them hate to go!

@roseb5

If they "can't think for themselves and have no idea what the real world is like" then why the heck should we allow them to make decisions about appropriate/inappropriate behavior in an school setting. Would you trust kids to set the norms? Not on your life!

I totally agree. At first I couldn't understand the reasoning of these extreme reactions but you hit it on the head. They DO NOT want them able to think for themselves. They have turned the schools into political indoctrination camps. Look at how the kids are taught then look at the videos we saw in school of the schools in China, North Korea, Nazi Germany... It teaches you to only listen to government and parents views and beliefs are irrelevant.

Arrowshead children today do not learn what children in my day learned by ten years old because you coddle them to death. You do not let them think while you are still there to pick them up then turn them loose at eighteen and some of them have never gone 2 miles from their house without mommy. Then you cry about how bad kids are and crank out more rules to coddle them. According to most of you I should never have survived childhood.

Chef, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that virtually all the posters here have never spent a couple of days in the halls of their local public school. They have not seen what does go on in the halls of their schools. They have never had to call parents about their little girl coming with low rider jeans and a thong, with their butts hanging out in front of some young kid. Than have the parent say the girl is "cute" while the boy can't stand up.

I agree that some rules have to be written so that administrators have flexibility, but to off hand reject the need for rules that control decorum in schools today indicates no clue as to what is happening today.

The "I remember in my day" just doesn't hold water in todays world.

So because of a few bad apples, take it out on everyone? I have spent time in the public schools considering I am 23 so its not that long ago and its not what these anti-social people are making it out to be like. School is a place for kids and teens to learn and make friends. Friends hug. Period.

jrl- What does that have to do with a hug? What people are wearing isn't the issue being brought up with the article. I don't even care if they are wearing burqas to school. young people hug, at least the social ones do and mostly the girls. guys stick with chest bumps, bro-hugs, "secret" (though elaborate sometimes) handshakes, nods and "what up" kind of statements. If the school has a dress code it should be enforced. i'm actually supportive of school uniforms but that is a whole different topic. Let them hug, spread the love.

jrl,

I was in Middle school back in the early 80's. Madonna's style was all over the place. We hugged in the halls, held hand with our boyfriend/girlfriend. Wore 1/2 shirts and mini skirts. Difference between now and then? Those who were totally inappropriate were punished, not everyone. Blanket rules are for those who are too lazy to do their job.

jl,

First, I said that rules have to be written to give flexibility to the administration.

Second, you indicated that those that were inappropriate were punished, fine, but there had to be some guideline to define inappropriate to start with. without some guideline, how would you punish? Would you, or anyone, be happy if a cop stopped you for speeding because he/she said your speed was "inappropriate" and there was no law on the books?

What no one has proposed is a rule that would define what is or is not acceptable. It seems that what some want is to let the school decide on a case by case basis. Should a 2 second hug be fine, but 3 seconds is to much? My wife teaches and quite honestly, she really doesn't want to get involved with this, but left to their own devices, it really gets bad.

The ultimate answer is to get more parents involved, spending time in the schools and schools sponsered dances and have parents come up with a proper rule. Unfortunatly, time has shown that parents send little Johnny off and don't pay any attention untill something happens to Johnny or their taxes go up.

jrl oh but you are so much better well never in my life have I had to call the police because a mouthy kid said they didn't have time for my bull turned and walked away.Form my experience every jr high kid is mouthy it comes with the age. At worst in that situation you call the parents not the police. Ever try talking to the student and explaining why something is inappropriate. You would be surprised that if you explain things in a reasonable manner kids can get it. All they get is rules with no reasons that anybody explains to them. Isee also that you notice the girl with the provacative dress but do you notice the boy with the provacative dress. If I can see the outline of his penis through those tight jeans from 5 feet don't you think that is affecting the girls in the class. Or the shirt designed to show off those muscles that is advertizing something too.

wow, you should go back to school and learn something.

@johnjwins... dont you reckognize sarcasm? Dont you reckognize readingmarks? Whats wrong with you?

Exactly. I think, for the most part, this is born out of projection or fear that something bad is going to happen (before it's even happened!).

Indeed

Missy, I taught middle school nine of the last eleven years in a metropolitan school and you have it exactly right and well-stated.

Missy---Your post puts this whole issue in the right prospective and is 100% correct!

This principal is communicating to the kids in the school in a way they totally understand by simply saying "No hugging" without going into detail about what is appropriate or inappropriate. Believe me, the kids understand exactly what he means by the rule.

Totally agree with this!!

They are teaching them, it's not appropriate at school during the school day. They're not banning hugs across the globe.

Kathy, well put. Personally, I think it's perfectly appropriate if two friends saying hi share a quick hug. Evidently something more than a quick hug between friends was happening at this school, so why not have upped rules and regulations at school dances or events?

Is it now the feeling that schools should be the one to teach when and how a hub is appropriate? It this not something that parents should be teaching?

Oh for crying out loud!

If grinding is the problem, you have a school assembly and say: It has come to my attention that some of you little monsters are doing everything short of getting it on in the halls. Anyone caught engaging in inappropriate behavior will be immediately suspended for three days first offense, never to return if it happens a second time. If you don't know what inappropriate behavior is, you'll find out when you get suspended for it.

End of story.

A little no-nonsense common sense goes a long way with kids.

I truly believe Americans are going overboard with rules and regulations .. Hugs are part of growing up .. America was once land of the free , honest and a people of large hearts ... Now it seems we are the group of paranoid people that take our politically correctness way too far and too seriously most times :(

This sounds like 50 years ago when we heard, "There will be no hand-holding in the halls" in high school. When are school administrators going to learn that zero tolerance policies teach our children just that--nothing. Those who know the difference between appropriate and inappropriate hugging will still know it; those who don't will never have the opportunity to learn it. So very sad we continually miss these simple teaching/learning opportunities.

Instead of suspension, how about some sex ed. By suspending kids for this you are sending the message that sexual feelings are bad. Instead of punishing them, teach them. Isn't that the function of the school setting. If a child is "acting out" there usualy is a reason. Find it. Deal with it. Solve it

End Of Story.

It's true. Some other countries are much more physically affectionate and they cannot understand why Americans, with all of their freedoms, are so prude.

I so agree with you. As a former grad of that town (1975), grinds and grabs were evident then. I have seen the progression over the years. I am sure it is worse now. It is time for the town to educate all its students and not just focus on the "A" students. Teach and reinforce appropriate social behavior. Get rid of the low riding pants showing the underwear. Reinforce proper grammar, eliminate the skirts up to the groin, and the tank tops low to the navel. Eliminate the grinding on the dance floor, and the close bumping of the genitals on the dance floor. Get rid of the bullying and the harassment of boys and girls. Then worry about the hugging.

If people want to hug, they're free to do so. And if they do, it's none of your business, Boss honey.

You're saying kids are free to do all they want? How about rub against each others genitals while hugging - which was obviously going on? The parents will be suing the school as soon as they can find a lawyer if that's permitted!

Are you an American in Germany? Probably.

That's their culture. It's completely normal to them and it's not gross because they don't equate every form of physical contact with sex the way that Americans do.

You would do better to have an open mind about the culture you are living in than to disparage their ways. You might even learn something.

We used to hug after school away from the prying eyes of "THE MAN". We weren't prudish (see: Baby Boom generation sexual behavior) we were respectful enough of each other to keep our expressions of affection private. Otherwise people got an often mistaken impression of our morals, causing other problems later.

Hug in the back seat of dad's car like everyone else, hornballs.

I don't know whether I should pity your or laugh at you for both your homophobia and your perversity. You assign sexual connotation to a platonic sign of friendly affection which is pathetic, because you see porn wherever you look, and you apparently have a problem with gay people, in those cases when the sign of affection is not so platonic. Seriously?

One might've thought that travelling around the world would've taught you to be more open to other cultures, but alas - you are apparently too lazy and judgemental and narrow-minded to wish to learn.