Well it makes sense, best of luck for this kid!

The trauma is somehow different than him being with foster parents? Huh? Is that implying that "foster parents" are better parents than his real parents? No... it doesn't make sense at all.

They should see counseling AS A FAMILY

I think he needs to be reunited with his birth family immediately. The can all seek counseling together, besides prolonging their reunion can also traumatize this poor child.

Although it is a different situation it reminds me of Elian Gonzalez and when the US kept him here for almost a year well knowing his father was alive and well in Cuba. Children are a lot more resilient then we give them credit for. Who knows with the proper counseling a lot of love and some really good toys he will grow to be a normal young man.

Justice099- I don't think they are implying the foster parents are "better." They are saying that if they suddenly give this boy to his understandably emotional parents and dump all of this reality on him, it will be too much, too fast. He needs trained people to gradually explain to him what happened to him when he was young. He does not know his parents. I'm sure they will be reunited soon. This poor boy. Hope all goes well and he can adjust.

Yes, There are so many recoverys, NOT, you must either be a Social Worker or some other Government worker. The child would be better just sent home. PERIOD.

Well then, foster care is so much better, wow, now the poor boy as to adjust twice, how stupid is that.

You are missing the point- the foster family is not hysterical and telling him that they are his family. They are just providing care while the counselors work with him to ease him into the the reality that his "mom" is not his mom, and that he has this whole other family that he will now be living with.

He needs trained people to gradually explain to him what happened to him when he was young.

sgshell - I don't know how to break this to you but "foster parents" are seldom trained, and often do not have the child's interests at heart. He needs to be returned to his parents.

Ol_Doc- I understand what you are saying, and I agree that he needs to be reunited ASAP when he is ready. I doubt that he was placed with "ordinary" foster parents. I'm sure there are some families who are trained to help in special traumatic circumstances. I imagine they will try to get them back together very quickly. I'm just saying that I understand how this will be for the little boy. I feel for the parents, but they need to be counseled too so that they can not overwhelm him, and not expect him to remember them and love them right off the bat. He is the one that matters; if this were a child who remembered his family, I would agree 100%, but he does not know his family, and I'm sure misses his "mom" and this all has to be explained gently to him. And,for the record, I doubt that the foster family are the ones counseling him- they are just providing a home while this is being resolved.

Ol_Doc, you have GOT to be kidding me. If that's how the US works no wonder people are so screwed up. Here in Canada, you undergo a LOT of training just to be a "regular" foster parent. And to care for special needs kids? The training never stops. I'm speaking from personal experience...are you?

So the kid can't be with his real parents ( that DO want him)

the kid can't be with the woman he knows as his mother ( because she will be in jail).

Why is Foster Care better than the rightful birth parents who never gave him up?

Let the experts do their jobs. That is why they are experts!! In due time, hopefully this kid can get back to an almost normal life. 8 years is a very long time, and thus, great care must be taken with this case.

In America, the training for foster care is a joke. Hasn't anybody read the headlines?

And do you think that either in school or at home that "special needs" teachers are well trained?

On the other hand, family counselors have a LOT of training. The entire family should be counseled together, immediately, and let him go home. His real parents can have the training.

BUT, nobody has really mentioned the MONEY. Texas stands to gain a certain amount of Federal MONEY if it keeps this kid in foster care. The parents should SUE IMMEDIATELY. The state is kidnapping this child. They have no right to keep him.

What is the difference between sending a child to strangers who are not related and their family? Reunite the child and his parents and order them to counseling, have a social worker keep tabs and then let them get on with their lives. What that judge is doing is cruel to both the child and his natural parents. ALL that judge is doing is creating more trauma for that child!!

The unbelieveable, egotistic, power hungry, I am a God audacity of people who are paid with our tax dollars to make ignorant and biased decisions from behind the bench never fails to make my blood boil.

Suffice it to say, "If you give the devil an inch he'll take a mile."

Ah, Texas judges. Brilliant, aren't they? Why would a judge purposely dump a kid with BIRTH PARENTS into a foster care system where he is very likely to become further traumatized? Don't give me that "foster parents are a godsend" bs. I worked for social services - most - yes, MOST of the foster parents do the job strictly for the "extra" income it produces. Poor kid. Victimized by some nut job and now being victimized by another nutjob - the only difference is that this one is a judge. I have never seen a kid emerge from foster care being better off for the experience.

This is a horrific experience for everyone involved brought on by a delusional woman's desire for a child. I understand the judge's point of view, I also understand the parent's point of view. But unless the foster family has had training in this type of difficult situation, I'm not sure a totally unrelated third party is what is needed here.

I'm glad I am not making the decisions on this one, it's a case of everyone involved wanting to do what's right but no one involved knows for sure exactly what that is.

Reminds me of the story of the two women that are both claiming to be the mother of a child, so whoever it was ruled that the child be split in half, when one of them gave the child up rather than see it split they were the real mother. A real mother would understand that the child needs time to adjust with this much trauma and putting the selfish needs of a parent over the well being of child is wrong. Its entirely impossible to tell the psychological condition of the child and without that information how can you say the judge was wrong?

People are such judgmental jerks.

King Solomon's idea to say that he would split the child has nothing to do with this case. There are not two mothers with an equal claim to a child. The government has no claim to this child.

Doesn't anybody remember the case of the Canada quintuplets that were taken away from the family because Canada assumed that the parents couldn't handle it (this was many years ago)? All the children grew up with a great deal of mental illness. Finally, the parents managed to get the children back, and some of them stabilized a bit. The government is a horrible nurse-maid to children. Let them go home!

Children are rational human beings. What is the government saying to the child, that the parent's aren't good enough for him? Would the government say this if they were not Hispanic? What new trauma is the government setting this child up for? A child will wonder if this new family is safe; it's better to allow them to have their child, and give them therapy.

The issue is that if he goes immediately to his parents they are going to be just as emotionally overwhelmed as he is only to him they are strangers, to them he is their lost son returned. Although they will have his best interest at heart the amount of emotion being pushed at him that is contradictory to his own emotion could be overwhelming and cause more harm than good. Taking the time, letting him live in a temporary home while he gets to know his family and learns the truth of his childhood is what is better for him, not because his parents are not the best thing for him, but because they also need to learn how to read his emotional cues so that they do not push him or confuse him. The goal is to reintegrate him into his family in such a way as to allow them to grow close and find the rhythm that makes family life work for them, not to just throw him in with them and some "great toys" and hope for the best.

Agree. This is ABSOLUTELY wrong. I was taken as an infant by my bitter mother in the 60s and never allowed access to my father. I was told that her new husband was my father until I was 6. She sat me in a chair and told me that the man I always thought was my father was not my father. I was not allowed access to my biological father until I looked him up myself when I was a young adult.

The shock and trauma from this sham was the worst thing that ever happened to me in my entire life. I am still paying for it and the consequences to this day.

This child is so compromised psychologically that he will simply cling and attach to the foster family only to be snatched away again.

So you idiots just added another unnecessary layer of hell and trauma to this child. Congratulations.

Where did you read that she abused him?

Laura, thats how they found him him was because the woman who kidnapped him and acted as his "mother" got CPS called on her for neglect/abuse. So not only did she take him away from his mother, she also did not take good care of him.

I re-read this story and also re-read the link. From what I read, Ms. Tanner's sister turned her in as a kidnapper. I saw no mention of neglect or abuse.

Please take me by the hand so I can see the error of my ways.

Laura, it was in a previous article about this story. You may be able to click the Houston link to find the info.

Mdrn: Anyone who kidnaps a child and keeps it from the parents ought to get the death penalty. And the parents should get their child back immediately, the judge is not God!

There used to be the death penalty for kidnapping children in New Jersey. They called it the Limburgh law.

Ohio had the DP for kidnapping, and rape.

Toocoolforschool

You think if that judge’s child was taken he/she would wait to see, and embrace his own son or daughter? I highly doubt it.

Protecting this child from any further trauma is what is important. As anxious as these parents are to be reunited with their son, a few more days will not hurt them, and it could make all the difference to this little boy, letting him ease into the new information and absorb it, rather than having all of these understandably emotional "strangers" hugging him and overwhelming him. What a tough situation for the poor little guy.

The JUDGE is an Idiot, Lawyer and Insane. LIKE all of them.

I was kidnapped at 3 yrs of age, found when I was 7..By complete strangers, I too was not allowed

to be returned to bio family asap. Foster care and time..This boy has no clue who is who in his real family..Be patient I agree with Judge..I needs to be handled properly. for his success. It made my transition much smoother.

sgshell - My grandson was placed in foster care, even though the State knew we were his grandparents. It took over a month to gain custody during which time he lost over 12 pounds...at 4 years old. During our first meal together after his return he asked "you're not going to take my food are you?" My wife cried the entire night. When a loving family is an alternative...foster care IS NOT the answer!

Ol_Doc- I am so, so sorry to hear that. That was wrong, and I hope your grandson is healing. I am not advocating foster families over grandparents at all - that was wrong. The situation with this little boy is not your average case- I'm just saying that I understand why he needs counselors/therapists to lovingly give him this information. Hopefully it will be soon. Again, so sorry to hear what happened in your situation. I'm so glad he has loving grandparents to help him. God bless.

Ol_Doc, I'm so sorry to hear that. Foster care has a deserved bad reputation in every state in America.

What, we have "special" foster families with "special" training for kidnapped and abused kids? Is that where we hide Santa and the Tooth Fairy? You just can't be sure that the foster family will be as good as the parents. It doesn't take more than a couple of days to train parents what they should say to the child, and then the whole family should be given years of therapy and support. I agree this is a very difficult case, and also that Texas is partly to blame, because the kidnapper was abusing the child.

Texas is making Federal money keeping him in foster care. Shame on the judge.

Righ you are !!! Justice.

I have to agree. I am progressive on many issues, but when it comes to children, I say beware. Take care of your children, and don't let the state near them.

Exactly what I was thinking. Even if the birth parents don't tell him the truth right away they should be allowed to spend time with him. I mean this mother lost her baby she must be dying inside not to be able to hold onto him now.

That's my thought. I understand that you can't just toss the kid back in his home and expect him to adjust immediately, but a stopoff at a foster home before returning to his real parents may just be extra chaos to him. They certainly shouldn't be waiting until mid May to make a decision. Couldn't they at least start reintroducing the family, gradually working up in time spent together?

Being placed with a foster family over his natural family is ludicrous as a stranger is a stranger. There must be more to this story as I can't believe this judge can be this callous.

Because the parents will expect that the bond between them and the child would be immediate. But the child will fail the parental expectations which would cause a secondary trauma to the child. The foster family will not and do not have those same expectations of love that the bio-parents do whether they admit it or not. Mom just wants to scoop her baby boy up and smother him with love (as would I) after so long and that would only confuse the boy further. It is a period of adjustment that the CHILD needs whether the parents, the media or the general population likes it or not.

Having been a child victim my self, I am 42 and still dream at night at times about THAT LADY I thought was my mom,,she went to prison. My poor real mom, I would run from her. I was taken off my trike in driveway, vanished..

I did not think this woman I was suppose to go was my mom,,no way no how! I did understand foster care, I wanted to stay there forever and never go with those people they all call my family..

Chevvy- So sorry about your ordeal- hope you are healing and doing well now.

The whole family will need years of therapy. Postponing meeting the real family for a few months will make no difference, and could damage the relationship further. Even if they don't live together as a family at first, they should still be seeing each other, and getting used to the idea. The brain remembers traumas for years, not months, weeks, or days. This kind of trauma is the worst. I feel sorry for anybody who has experienced it. Maybe Texas doesn't want to pay for the therapy that will be required, and so the judge figures he will just wait till May when (he thinks) the news will no longer be following the story.

Rock

Your right something doesn't make sense here.

The hole thing is just suspect.

Do you know the biologocal parents?

There are people that I have no use for but my children were never exposed to those opinions.

I taught them to watch out for some people and beware of dangers but I did not teach them to hate.

What I can't stand is that the judge's decision makes it look as though the parents are not capable of following directions, or not capable of handling the situation. Of course the child will need years of therapy, and so will the whole family. But for a person to automatically assume that the real parents will do the wrong thing... you assume so much, and it is because of this judge.

You can understand the JUDGE? Hell NO ONE can understand a Judge (Insane Lawyer) You MUST BE A LIBERAL.

I'm a liberal and I don't understand this judge, who was probably appointed by Texas Republicans. But it has nothing to do with politics, just a bad decision. The judge has probably never heard of family therapy.

Obviously it's about money. The longer they keep him a ward of the state, the more money it brings them. Plain and simple.

Honestly, how he became a ward of the state in the first place is beyond me. Makes no sense whatsoever. The child was kidnapped by Tanner, not kidnapped by CPS (well, until now.)

I agree with Justice: this is a case where the state is making money off of this child, and that is the WHOLE ENTIRE REASON why they are keeping him away from his parents. The state that ignored the neglect of the kidnapper should be paying for all the therapy that the whole family will need.

Yes, the foster family is just as likely to say things about the kidnapper. And the foster family will make the child feel even more homeless.

I agree with everybody that says he should be with his real parents.

The troll above your post did make an interesting point though: perhaps the judge is prejudiced against the Hispanic family. Yes, this family should try to appeal the ruling. I would hope that this case could be taken up by a group that works on civil rights.

Umm... that is going to have to happen eventually, anyway. It will be just as traumatic then as it would be now.

In the case of children who are adopted from a foreign country, if the child meets with the birth mother, they are usually glad to meet her, as long as things are kept friendly. This family should appeal this decision; the judge is probably prejudiced, because he is giving the family less rights to the child than the birth parents would have if the child were legally adopted.

This article didn't say that he was abused, but a Texas paper did. Texas found the case not through a relative (who might have admitted the boy was kidnapped), but it first came to the state's attention because of neglect and abuse.