It's going to be hard to stop if no one can spot any symptoms. He said he was fine. He looked fine. How do we find out?

Bullying has gone on forever! Oh Really? Forever maybe,but not to this point,where kids are killing themselves left,right and center!

I'm going to just put it out there.This sh it and that's all it is,is sh it, is an epidemic,across this country.Something REALLY needs to be done,and done rather quickly,otherwise,there's going to be more dead kids because of this sh it!

I don't see how anyone could really stop bullying,its ingrained in the human DNA. But,teenagers full of adolescent angst and insecurity are the most vicious and unrelenting people on earth! One on one,some are compassionate and empathetic,but they suffer from a herd mentality at that age and as soon as they pack up they turn into emotional sharks that can smell the weak and the wounded a mile away.

Some of them obviously don't join the feeding frenzy..but that's a minority at best and that minority likely to become the prey in the end. Its a disease that only life experience and maturity can cure and thankfully most are... at least to a large extent,but a lot of others carry that pack mentality right into adulthood. If these children are suffering this at school.. then why would the parents allow them to continue to suffer it at home? This is one of the worst aspects of so called social media( it should be called anti social media)and its obviously dangerous for a child's mentality ..yet they are allowed to tune in anytime they want as if it is now a neccessity and they just can't help themselves...they have to see what people are saying about them no matter how demeaning or reprehensible, they become fixated and they just can't stop from reading it or replying to it....so someone needs to stop it for them!! Otherwise we might as well chalk it all up to the evolution of our society... another notch in the gun belt of our so called civilization and hope they all make it out alive!

It's true, bullying has been around as long as there's been people, we just didn't kill ourselves as often as kids do now. There's a definite change in the emotional stability of kids now.

Mr, Binky, obviously, you were a bully. Unlike you, I was taught at a young age, to never make fun of anyone or give them a bad time, for something they cannot help. Therein is the problem...but for the grace of God, go I.

Obviously, you possess no standards of ethics or rules to guide you in life. None are perfect; we are all flawed in some capacity. Life is a simple game of genetics, nothing more or greater. No one possesses the inherent right to torture and abuse another person. This is not what it means to be a human being -- to have the grace to rise above and live your life in grace, dignity, kindness and compassion. We are supposed to feel others' pain and misery.

When a bully tortures another and makes him commit suicide, the bully should be charged with first degree murder! Obviously, words and taunts are as deadly as a bullet. Shame on you; shame on you! The problem, your skin is drawn too taut and too tough, guide-less -- without a conscience spells psychopath!

"Kids need to have tougher skin"

Are you kidding? Bullying is never acceptable!!!!

I was a nerdy athletic kid that kind of lived between worlds! People were scared of me, but I saw my nerdy friends get messed with a lot! And guess who got in trouble with school administrators when I would seek out a bully for punching one of my friends, I would!!!

Those kids in High School that did most of the bullying are the same kids that go on to get excused for gang raping girls at their Frat houses. Then they go on to screw the average American worker out of their life saving as a stock broker.

It is an endless cycle! These little bullies never learn that it is wrong and they grow up to be big bullies!

so Binky, should I send my kid to school with armors since he doesn't have thick scales like you?

Our schools have taught our kids that everyone is equal. Everyone gets an award just for existing today. Good Gawd...I didn't exactly fit in in grade school and high school but that made me tough. I could care less what people think of me and we need to teach our kids the same thing. This makes me wonder if the parents were criticizing their children too while they were being bullied. If you are being bullied, you put those jerks in their place and TELL someone.

Bullying is in our DNA? 2 quick things. 1. Where is the proof of this study. 2. If that is the case, then EVERYONE would be bullying EVERYONE. So much for common sense. Better parenting of the bullies parents would be a good start. Maybe bring back a good old fashioned ass whoopin for kids and they may start to act accordingly.

I was bullied most of my life then became a bully' go figure.. the answer is we dont communicate;the community should be taken out of context.

Sorry Mr. Binkie and Marla but bullying has gotten out of hand because we have no sense of community. Yes it's happened in the past as it happens today but the difference is that parents were more involved in school and the parents of the kid who got bullied would go and talk to the parents of the kids doing the bullying. They would collectively work to make sure it didn't happen again. That just doesn't happen nowadays.

Mr. Binkie, you're right, bullying has always been around, but this generation is now enduring it via the web. Kids just used to have to brace themselves for P.E. or their lunch period, but these days the bullying follows them home via Facebook and Twitter. Plus, today's teachers have absolutely no control over these classrooms, so some of these kids are being bullied right under their noses without them uttering a word. But don't just blame the teachers, also blame the school administration who would just reprimand a teacher for getting in a bully's face, which is exactly what a bully needs, if you ask me. Another thing to remember is that what our generation may have considered bullying is not what this generation is enduring these days. Old school bullying was, "Dweeb, hand over the lunch money!" Today, kids are enduring harassment about their sexuality, race, religion, weight, economic status, you name it, and the insults are not G-Rated, we're talking NC-17 Rated insults. I'm not dismissing the fact that some people in our generation may have had to endure harassment just as harsh, but today, especially with the internet, it's really a free-for-all. I weep for the kids today.

what ever happened to fighting back? yes you might loose but at least you stood up for your self, granted my win loss record wasn't the best but i would damned if my dad found out that i did nothing about that. kids need to learn early that life isn't fair but at least face your fears and have some pride in your self..best thing he did for me was take me to boxing class..learned a little self defense but more important learned how to get back up

The real problem here is everyone needs to teach there kids to stand up for themselves, the easiest way to stop a bully is to kick his @ss. when the principal wants to say something tell him , obviously you cant handle the real problem but it is handled now, quit trying to tell kids it is wrong to defend themselves, Many bullies will only stop when YOU actually stop them, if they know you are no longer a defensless target they will leave you alone.

And lonesomegeorge NO you need to teach him to stand up for himself !

Parents need to enroll their kids in martial arts classes.What a difference it made in my own daughter. The self discipline alone will help them become poised AND able to take care of bullies who try to take advantage. I have 3 girls. I told all 3, NEVER start a fight! BUT if someone insists on bullying you, make sure you END the fight, and I will defend you to the Principal, and whoever else I need to talk to.

It worked. I had their backs, and they had the confidence to take out the idiots that would not leave them alone. My 13 yr old had a married man by the throat, and calmed his hormones down very quickly when he tried to get fresh. He said, "I'll never do that again!" Her reply? "You're right. You won't!"

Mr. BLINKY needs to get new eyeballs, or just new balls! What a turd...

A lot of bullying nowadays is verbal, not physical, and there's no defense against that. If you "stand up for yourself," as some of you are advocating, you'll be the bully in the eyes of authority.

Well, the real problem is when a someone get so tired of being bullied he either kills him or herself. In the past instead of putting up with a bully and getting tougher skin they go and kill lots of other kids in school including the bully and anyone else in the area. Then no one understands why this has happened. It does not take a rocket surgeon to understand why a kid breaks. If all kids get treated with respect all kids will show respect. It does not take much to really get to know someone. You don't have to like them just understand them helps.

Bluthunder The only thing bullies understand is force. That is why parents need to teach them to stand up for themselves??? Most kids will not tell their parents until it is to late. The schools don't care and that is what a child thinks no one cares and I will stop that dam bully no matter what it takes. Even murder.

and then I discovered I was talking to a door mat

binkie.....totally agree...by the way where the H...is morris town...what state or town?????

I am so tired of all the BS.....

Well, the very first two words of the article are New Jersey, so it's safe to presume it's Morristown, NJ.

they are looking into it as a possibility, to see if he was being bullied, not that he was. just because some one kills themselves, it doesnt meanthey were being bullied, not at school anyway. also kids go thru this thing called growing up, or growing pains. not to mention, yes "thicker skin" might also help in some cases.

Marla (Post # 1.3):

To quote you:

"Mr. Binkie-- agreed. Quite frankly, parents need to teach their kids to knock the bullies flat-- they'll stop bullying."

Quite frankly Marla, it is people like you and Binkie, who are at the root of the suicide problems among children and encourage the bullying to continue. Far too many times, it is older children picking on the younger and smaller children. Teaching them to attempt knocking the bullies flat is not and never will be the answer to the problem. These same bullies observe such behavior going on in their own homes and neighborhoods. Perhaps the bullies need to spend some time in jail just like the bully adult in a domestic abuse case. When it happens at school, then suspend the bully for a week or more without any opportunity to make up the work. Then when the parents have to stay home from work to watch their bullying child , maybe then the parents won't be so quick to encourage the continuation of such verbal aggressiveness, or physical retaliation. Before you know it, the problem escalates to guns, knives, etc. It's about time the people stop acting like they still live in a cave. I don't know where you work, if at all, but bullying and knocking people flat does not, and is not condoned at work. And if it does, then you are fired and hauled off to jail. The school and neighborhoods are no different. Physical and verbal fighting just is not the answer to the problems!!

gloria fabiaschi - Teen suicide rates are down from where they were 30 years ago. The difference is that each one is now a headline news story (bully + suicide = ad revenue). One could even argue that recent increase could be attributed partially to the press who immediately paint each one as martyr in their quest to sell advertisements, I mean report the news.

Everybody deals with a bully daily, its life, who wears the pants in the family, who's your boss. The differance is wether you respect them, wilfully submit, battle them or try to avoid them, in adult life its hierarchy, top dog or alfa male/female. There are many ways to deal with it but to teach a child about what makes a bully a bully and how to counter their aggressive behavior is complicated. When my daughter told me she was being taunted I told her to raise her voice and repeat what was said thereby drawing attention to the bully and causing embarassment to them, it stoped within a week. The victims suffer in silence, tell your children be loud and proud.

We didn't call it bullying back in my day but it was just as bad. I was on the receiving end of it until one day after being chased home by the class punk, I was lucky to make it to my front porch only to encounter my older brother. He questioned me why I was running away from the class punk and I told him I was afraid of getting beat up. He threw me off the front porch and I landed at the feet of my nemesis. Needless to say I survived the fight, so much so, that the class punk's mother ended up calling my mother to complain about the ass beating I had given her son. I learned something that day. I was no longer afraid to defend myself and to back down from anyone trying to intimidate me. Maybe this is what's needed with some of these kids today. A few bruises can heal, and it may even show someone you're not to be messed with. Taking your own life is just senseless.

if you commit suicide because of what someone did or said then you are a weak minded person who needs someone emotionally stronger to set you right. words are just that-WORDS!! if you get beat up, there is always the next day and its 100% a-okay to fight back at bullies, anyone who says different is creating and extending the problems, not helping.

there is no one to blame or convict if you decide of you own free will to kill yourself. when we stop blaming everyone else for what we do or do not do then maybe we can get started on real change.

It's true, bullying has been around as long as there's been people, we just didn't kill ourselves as often as kids do now.

And I blame parents! Damnit, life isn't easy. Our job as parents is to prepare our children to be able to face this kind of adversity without giving up and slitting their wrists when things get tough! Where the hell were this kid's parents and what did they teach him while he was growing up?

EEngineer his parents were teaching him how everyone is a winner by not keeping score, that everyone deserves a trophy, that there is no value in doing your best and "winning" or acomplishing anything, and how not to face adversity, so when things do get tough the kid has no idea how to cope with it and work through a problem or try harder to fix, resolve, a problem. If you are never allowed to fail at anything and then fail at something you have no idea how to deal with it. take away everything that "might" make someone feel bad then they get into real world and something causes them to "feel" bad how do they know how to deal with that emotion. Now in New York, look at all the words, COMMON WORDS, that are banned from being used on tests? I thought these same people are the ones telling kids not to fight a bully cause they are just words and do not matter????

Education is key. The schools need to make the bullying issue part of the curriculum. I cannot believe that a teacher cannot spot a child that is suffering from bullying for one thing. And secondly, the teachers should make it a point to discuss this issue with the kids in the classroom. They should let all the kids know this is not tolerated and maybe allow for a system where kids can alert her about bullying situations. Maybe a "suggestion box" sort of thing where someone can put an anonymous note in the box to "tattle" about the bullies. Some kids, due to peer pressure, don't like what they see but they won't tell on their peers. If they have a way to tattle anonymously, that might help. Also, in the educational process, teachers need to tell kids how those being bullied feel and tell them the statistics of deaths due to bullying. Kids are not stupid and can reason. And maybe, just maybe, some of this education will help in forming the personalities of these kids. God knows, some of them get no guidance at home.

I hear a lot of peep about fight back and toughening up, those people probably never faced the modern bully. People don't use your fists to fight a bully anymore, they bully uses words, weapons, and numbers. When you get bullied the terms are always against you. I think we need to toughen bullying laws and take them to jail instead just giving them detention.

A lot of bullying today is different from bullying of say our parents. Our parents had to deal with being shoved in the hall, their books knocked out of their hands or sometimes had terrible notes passed around about them.

Today kids can use facebook, texting, and are far more violent today than kids our parents had to deal with.

I was bullied in school and the worst I had was people taunting me.

My kids talk about kids being bullied in their school by getting the crap beat out of them on a daily basis. 2nd graders are using their cell phones their mommies and daddies buy them to record school yard brawls.

How many here had that sort of stuff in 2nd grade? Seriously.

I didn't teach my daughter to physically fight her bullies. I taught her that they were pathetic losers whose made fun of other people to make up for the fact that they were insecure with their own faults. She was picked on herself, but was always the first to stick up for anyone else who got picked on. Her teachers loved her and the bullies quickly learned that she could care less what they thought, said or did and left her alone.

When I was a kid, you would ambush the bully (usually a bigger kid) and hit him hard in his legs with hardwood stick, once he was down you continue to hit in his arms, legs, shoulders and occasionally in the head; after a good beating usually he would learn to leave you alone, most bullies are cowards anyway.

If you don't teach your boys to stand their ground, you are raising weak men.

Please put cameras in schools and allow parents access to these. Campaigns to educate about bullying in schools and to report all cases. I recently reported a bullying case and the school did an extremely detailed and effective educational process for the entire school. Today, the kids watch out for one another and report (alert) any type of bullying or social out casting which immediately gets looked into by the school psychologist. Then again, it is a private school.

Train your boys and girls in self defense and not attack. Discipline. A strong defense will only get attacked once.

When I heard about the bullying I asked my son to allow me to handle it first and if nothing was done about it, at a higher and more positive level, gave him permission to punch the bully in the nose. It didn't have to come to that. The school psychologist found out that the bully was actually a child very much alone at home, with many psychological issue, and gave him the help he needed. Today he is no longer a bully.

So if Stuart *No-mann stands up to *Jeff Dullest and gets his ass kicked - you think the bullied kid will feel less embarrassed and picked on, and the bully won't feel compelled to bully others? Please explain your logic - a person doesn't become a target of bullies over night, and bullies don't just start with major attacks - both work their way up/down gradually. A bully and a victim may not even know they are what they are, until one day it all reveals its self.

* Names changed to protect the innocent.

When I was in high school I could'nt stand to see kids getting picked on. When I would catch someone picking on someone else I beat the sh!t out of that bully. needless to say I spent alot of time in detention. I kicked the crap out of more bullies than I care to remember. A group of the kids that had been bullied came up to me and said "You're like a schoolyard bully but you don't bully people, you beat up bullies. So we're calling you Schoolyard". That nickname stuck with me all through high school.

Kids learn from adults, and usually the first thing they learn, are their parent's prejudices. Now, the parents may indicate (fake) that they are not racist, bigoted, or prejudice, but they are. They don't like women's health issues, the don't like dark skin, the hate emo kids, and non-denominational people -- well they are just devil's fodder. So, if some kid in school, is different in any way: wimpy, emo, sensitive, non-conformist, not committed to any religion, baby faced, they are picked on. The adults: parents, leaders, bigots, racists, talk show white trash, have programmed their little brains to hate, and hate kills kids.

Great advice everyone - teach irrational adolescent boys/girls to use violence to solve their problems. That always works out well, as exemplified by the high schools ravaged by gun violence after one of their own got fed up with being picked on. I think you can guess the undertone of those statements.

Back when I was in middle/high school we did not have social media to continue the torment when you went home. Furthermore, I don't remember seeing bullying to the extent that it is today and I speak from the perspective of someone that was picked on verbally. Not all bullying is physical, so how do you propose that the kids fight back when they are being called names and having nasty things put on the internet about them?

I am so sorry that these children are surrounded by incompetent adults and bad advice. The signs are there but the teachers, parents and others dismiss them as kids just being kids (e.g. moody) and that they should suck it up. Really?

Bullying has been around for years. It used to be where a kid was tormented by one kid and or that one kids friends. Now it's internet wide (facebook and the likes) these little brats also carry cell phones and we all know their phones have cameras so pictures and or videos can also be posted. Parents are so afraid to punish their kids because then they won't be the "cool" parent and besides "kids will be kids." We have teachers who look the other way until a tragedy happens then all of a sudden they care. Kids today are spoiled rotten brats and we our society have created these monsters. Boys dress like thugs, girls dress sexy and their parents allow it.

I went to get my hair cut the other day and a mom told the hair dresser "her daughter who looked about 10-12 years old was there to get her eyebrows waxed" I thought "huh?" so I looked at the girls eyebrows and they looked fine to me the hair dresser took the girl back to wax her brows. The ladies other daughter wanted side swept bangs and she had a picture of how she wanted them, this girl looked to be about 6 years old. A six year old girl should not care about side swept bangs and a 10-12 year old shouldn't be getting her eyebrows waxed......and the mother shouldn't have allowed it, but our kids have got to be the prettiest and in fashion now a days. The sad thing about this is I live in small town USA and not the city.

Randy, Marble Falls, TX

Parents need to enroll their kids in martial arts classes.What a difference it made in my own daughter. The self discipline alone will help them become poised AND able to take care of bullies who try to take advantage. I have 3 girls. I told all 3, NEVER start a fight! BUT if someone insists on bullying you, make sure you END the fight, and I will defend you to the Principal, and whoever else I need to talk to.

Randy- 100% agreed! I taught my child the same thing, my now 15 year old daughter has been suspended for fighting exactly once, she only got one day instead of the standard three for the sole fact that she was standing up for a friend who was being picked on. I had her back, her vice-principal had her back, and the teacher who broke up the fight had her back.

I enrolled her in martial arts when she was 10 because she was being picked on at school because of a medical condition she had at the time (it caused her to go bald) she never used it but knowing she could if she had to gave her a lot more confidence.

Kids just used to have to brace themselves for P.E. or their lunch period, but these days the bullying follows them home via Facebook and Twitter.

And there weren't neighborhood bullies when kids actually went outside and interacted with other kids? I had to walk home through bullies neighborhoods, and play outdoors with the possibility of a bully being around at any time. "Facebook" and "Twitter" can be turned off, or bullies can be blocked from visiting your precious little sheltered world online.

BTW: Anyone else find it ironic that the root of "Twitter" is "Twit"?

Teaching your child self defense and discipline will never be bad advice or activity much like teaching your child to swim at an early age so as not to drown in a pool. Knowing that you have the ability to take care of yourself changes your perspective to courage and confidence. This perspective usually abandons any need for self aggrandizement due to some sort of inferiority complex which is usually what a bully suffers from.

As for verbal bullying, or abuse, teach your children the root of bullying. Once you explain to them what causes bullying they will understand. Make it fun. Use words they understand to get the message across. Be creative. Kids understand way more than we remember.

Independent thinker, with all due respect, I don't know that I've ever read so much hooey in my life. As a parent I am responsible first and foremost for MY children. My eldest had an altercation in school once. All witnesses said my son was hit first, and defended himself. We got a call from the principal that he was receiving a 3 day suspension for it due to school policy against "violence." We marched right down there and fought it, and they removed his suspension. how in good conscience can a school punish someone for defending himself???

Don't you see....the policies put in place at the school level and as you say the work level ENCOURAGE bullies by punishing those defending themselves. Stand up and fight for yourself-- defend yourself, and then defend yourself against a ridiculous punishment.

Bottom line-- stop living in fear!!!

Right on Marla. No need to go looking for a fight but if one comes then certainly defense will be physical. When bad intentions come calling you can rest assured that the next time the first call will be remembered and considered by the bully.

Peter-- yes! Exactly. Speaking only from firsthand parental experience, my son was heralded by his peers for finally standing up to the guy that had been harassing a lot of people. And guess what? He never got harassed again. This is not rocket science. Why don't other parents teach their kids to defend themselves? This is a no-brainer.

One REAL BIG problem with fighting back. Here in Texas at least, we have what is called ZERO Tolerance, this means if physically assaulted YOU MAY NOT DEFEND yourself. Rule- you get on ground, curl into ball and yell for help til a teacher comes. Problem you are still exposing neck and back with kidney, liver and spleen exposed, unless you are lucky enough to have a wall or corner to cower in. As for at home cyberassaults-yes assaults, IF you reply with ANY threat back or bully back YOUR child has just committed a crime, that is and has been punished by law. I even took the cyber threats and bullying to the school to show it goes far beyond their walls. The best they did was have my child leave through a special door. The football team took it in their hands and walked her to my car after school. But it did not stop what went on in those halls and bathrooms. This was 5th and 6th graders! Her bullies were her own cheer-mates due to her lack of bullying participation!!!!!!! Most of us cannot afford attys and the tickets that our bullied child gets for fighting back. Hence the problem how to make it stop. For us by junior high gangs had her back- and no, she is caucasion, not that all gangs are ethnic, she just doesn't judge and is a bit mouthy. Our solution home school. Not everyone can though. Parents you must step in and keep backing your kid!!!!!!!! She's fine now.

READ THE ARTICLE FOLKS!

They are INVESTIGATING to see if it could be bullying. Bullying isn't the undisputed sole reason for teen suicide. What has to stop is the feeling of hopelessness, whether it stems from bullying or something else.

I will never know why my friend from high school hung herself Junior year. SHe wasn't bullied, in fact, she was quite popular. There was another girl 2 years ahead of me who also killed herself after a pep rally. She was the captain of the track team and on the Student council. The only common denominator is that they were both on anti-depressants. Both had just made plans with their friends for the next day. And then the next minute they were gone.

Sometimes we just don't know what causes teens to feel there is nothing that life has to offer them. Sometimes parents can only do so much without following them around every second. ANd sometimes hearing "See ya tomorrow" is no different than any other day.

You can fight a zero tolerance policy because children have the same rights as adults-adults have the LEGAL right to protect themselves against attack. I've fought it multiple times for my children and won. I will not allow the school system to encourage and even demand that my children play the victim as you just described Scientistami. They will stand and defend themselves; even adults find themselves in positions where they must defend themselves. If kids don't learn to do so when exactly will they learn to do so?

Childhood and adolescents is the period in life when they should be learning how to deal with THE REAL WORLD. Kids must learn that not everyone is their friend, not everyone has their very best interest at heart and not everyone gives a flip about their feelings-most don't give a darn either way no matter how old they are. Life is full of ups and downs, success AND failure, you don't always get a raise, a promotion or even get the job. The best thing any parent can do for their children is teach them to be emotionally and mentally strong and how to roll with it. Life is a precious gift only to those who learn how to be cope with just about anything that comes your way in a healthy fashion.

moring reader. my name is mark and gay and in school. guys beat me up all the time.y try to go to the bath room when other guy r there. so i pee in a cup. my dad save my life afther he found a rope in my room. after we talk he pull me out of school. thanks dad. r.i.p.---- LENNON BALDWIN'S ----i wish i knew him he could have talk because we r the same age bye L.B.

Yup. Zero tolerance in a state where shoot first and ask questions later is a norm. How about that 'Stand Your Ground Law' in Florida which allowed for the killing of Trayvon Martin.

Right on just a mom. I teach my boys NEVER to pick a fight, if a bully comes around, to give one warning and one report to the school psychologist, nothing done about it, the second time bust a nose. If the school does not change the situation, I pull them out.

Peter, when it comes to verbal "abuse," we teach our kids to ignore it...until you can't. And then give a warning, "Say that again, and....." And then do what you have to do. They know we'll have their back. We do not teach our kids to be thin skinned. People can say whatever they want-- but for kids, I know it's a bit tougher in the school setting. So, if it is to the point that they're totally demoralized, then take care of it-- give a warning, and then deck 'em if you need.

When it comes to physical? No warnings. If I ever hear my kids pick a fight (which, so far, knock on wood, I haven't ) then they are totally toast. But in no uncertain terms my husband has taught my children if somebody hits you first, you knock 'em on their behind. Guaranteed they'll never touch you again.

Scientistami

One REAL BIG problem with fighting back. Here in Texas at least, we have what is called ZERO Tolerance, this means if physically assaulted YOU MAY NOT DEFEND yourself.

Yeah I'll go ahead and call BS, ZERO tolerance is for the bully not the bullied, I've already told the story of my daughter getting in a fight and DEFENDING someone who was being bullied and only got a one day suspension instead of the standard three, oh wait what? I live in Texas! read your laws before posting such ignorant BS please and thank you.

Peter I love how you called out my state like that, does it bother you that we're allowed to shoot first and ask questions later? (But only for things like breaking into my home or trespassing on my land etc) Fortunately for you us Texans do teach our children to never throw the first punch like Marla said my daughters ass would be grass if she did, BUT she has every right to defend herself (ten bucks says she can outshoot you) but she's never brought a gun to a fist fight.

Marla I love how much sense you make, I find it amusing that other people on this thread think we should teach our children to be little b*itches instead of standing up for themselves, I have daughters I think it's way more important for them to learn self-defense, in fact as I'm typing this my niece is being "suspended" from school because some boy thought it was okay to grab her breast and her answer was to basically beat the sh*t out of him and throw him in a garbage can lol

three cheers for your niece--

1SGFitzsWife4ID

Sorry if I offended your state. It wasn't my intention. I was trying to point at the laws we are creating these days which would protect a bully and punish defense which is why I called out the really scary 'Stand your Ground' law in Florida. For example, what if Trayvon was trying to stand his ground. You are right, I could have said it better.

Marla always says it right.... Thanks...

Marla always says it right.... Thanks...

Can someone please tell my husband this?

KKKKK. ROFLMAO.....

uh, you are encouraging murder suicide. you need help.

Why not give them some pointers while you're at it? Like a suicide bomber vest with nails in it? That way there if you don't take the bully with you, he'll always have something to remind him of how much of a moron he is. I'm at a loss for the appropriate level of sarcasm here.

@Bill What the Hell is wrong with you? This is not the type of thing you should condone!!!!!!!!!!

If you've ever been bullied, you'd know how heartless your statement is.

that kind of thinking is probably what causes school shootings.

Stand up for yourself is what I say, I was taught never instigate finish it. It's also about how you carry yourself, limps eyes down and so forth tell them Easy target. People tend to forget we are still a animal species and kids are more instinct then anything and the parents of this generation do nothing to curb this. I was tortured in HS until I slammed the girl with my math book after she spit at me. I got suspended but was grinning ear to ear. Alot of times parents do nothing and create these nasty little monsters who think 'sorry' means go ahead keep doing it. However when they are brought down by someone who does have a strong sense of self they fall quick.

Forgot about Columbine and Virginia Tech did ya? And Maria, your advise is to change the way you are so you don't get bullied by others. So it is the fault of the bullied and not the bully? Ever had five guys jump you? I did, cant smash a math book at all of them at the same time. You got lucky, not every one is that fortunate.

Bulling is not always an act of aggression on ones self. When I was a kid I had become so depress that I had come very close to ending it all we lived on a creek in a house boat in school I was call pigeon creek trash had no friends then the teacher made a remark about my living conditions which set me back I had nobody to turn to. Then to make matters worst the teacher ask everybody numerous times during the year what we had breakfast or what we had to eat for dinner the day before. Will lot of times I would lie because there was no enough food for everybody being I was the oldest I would ge less or nothing. I remember one day she ask about breakfast I made up a meal in my head she call me a lying pigeon creek trash. Well that nite I laid on my blanket on the floor in my corner only thing on my mind was how can I end it all I was at my wits end I wanted to die I could not take it any more. the next day I did not go to school I went down the creek I ran across a couple that lived in a shack.about a mile from us. They had some beans and corn they ask me if I wanted something to eat I was hungery. we talk for a will I told them what happen his wife told me a story that left a lasting impression on me. From that day forth I suck it up and keep going. So folks there is more to bulling then being physically acttack. Look at every thing. I remember my son was crying one night in bed he said to me dad I don't want to die we talk I found out that a church member In his youth group was touching him which was up sitting him. That was hard to get him through that so look hard some thing else might be at work here.

Jim- I too have come to find that bullies are usually being bullied themselves at home, I'm so sorry for what your son went through, this is the one time I hope you beat the dog snot out of the youth group member, I know I wouldn't be able to control myself if that were to ever happen to my child.

Wow, you're a REAL man, huh?

I guess if I say you're a bully I can legally beat the snot out of you. Cool! 

(Here's where you challenge me to a fight so you don't feel so inadequate).

Mark- I just realized Kenny Rogers song was about YOU! WOW. Coward of The County is a great song!

Kinda sensitive about bullies getting the crap beat out of them, guess some little whimpy guy you thought was an easy target kicked your butt? Only a scum would protect a bully, you sound like the parents of the punks who I beat up... 'my Tommy would never do that", " Look what he did to my poor boy!!"

So go ahead and have your fun with your coward pals picking on those you think are weak and helpless but some day you will get your rear handed to you, but that is ok your mommy and daddy can just sue the kid to make you feel better.

Mark-- I'm with you. My kids know they're toast if they hit someone...unless, they're defending themselves. Someone touches you? Knock 'em on their behinds. Someone gets in your face? Get 'em outta your face. My kids have never bullied, and have never been bullied. Works like a charm.

Oh, Mark, you're sooooo tough! What a man!

We're all impressed with your manliness!

There. How's that? Think you can get it up now? Or do you still need a magazine with pictures of tough, sweaty guys? You like movies with gladiators and wrestling, don't you?

Klone why are you so upset? A. got your @ss kicked picking on someone smaller, B your sister always beat the crap outta you when you were younger, C. your dress is too tight and it pisses you off?

klone -

Well, nice to hear that your life was all sweetness and light!

The rest of us have to deal with the real world!

Bullies are only powerful because they prey upon those who are too timid to respond to their assault in kind. All someone has to do is respond to a bully with an aggressive response and you'll see a bully cower like a scared puppy. Bullies are all about intimidation, take that away from them and they're nothing but a plain ordinary punk.

We need to re member that both the bullied and the bullier are children and need understanding and instruction. When I was young the people that did the bullying were the basketball players and football players and for girls, the cheerleaders and socialites. when I decided to protect myself the coach and parents blamed me, they listened to their lying kids because of all the trophies notoriety that was brought to the school. At least I made them remember never to bother me again. I know how to fight and I practiced it. These same kind of kids did that to my children but I taught them how to fight so they could protect themselves, well it was OK for a while but they would not stop trying my kids, so I had to take them out of school to keep the bullies alive and let the community save face. You need to remember if everyone thinks the bully is the good guy and you have weak kids that they are bullying there is no help other than to remove your child from that pigpen of a school

Marla, you are seriously stuck in the past. Bullying is MUCH more "sophisticated" and complex today. It's not just one student "getting in the face" of another. Most of the time it involves vicious rumors about someone and it's very difficult to ascertain the source. In addition, cyber-bullying has skyrocketed and it spreads like a virus making it difficult for the victim to confront one person. This isn't the 50s, it's not even the 90s.

Sorry I'm with Marla and Mark on this one- Even knowing that most bullies are probably bullied themselves at home which leads to poor self-esteem hence the reason they do it to other people to make themselves feel better, there is no reason my child should have to be the one to suffer because of it, she has every right to defend herself even against cyber-bullying (which she's been through when some little b*tch made a horrible facebook page about her)

Kids today are pure evil (I'm sure our parents said that about us too) I think girls are worse than boys it just amazes me how times have changed, but there's still no way in hell my daughter should have to "turn the other cheek" so that these little bastards can feel better about themselves.

So keep your kids off the Internet, Invisible Swordsman-- my kids don't have a facebook, and don't text. These are all excuses for whiny kids and whiny, clueless parents. Protect your kids, and teach them how to defend themselves. Worried about rumors? Whatever happened to sticks and stones may break my bones? Geez....

BOTH of you completely misinterpreted what I said. My point was that it's not as easy for a child to defend themselves as people like you think it is. Where the heck did you get "turn the other cheek" from?...And yes Marla, it's practical to keep a high school kid off of the internet, I'm sure that happens alot. In addition, YOU don't have to be on Facebook for someone else to bully you on it.

Communicate.

You are exactly right. The schools do absolutely nothing to stop bullying because the civil rights of the bully are more important; I also agree with you that there are some teachers and adminstrators who want to put a stop to bullying, but are hamstrung by the adminstration in general and the adminstration's fear of lawsuits.

Here's how this warped perception of civil rights works: if your kid defends himself against a bully, your kid violated his civil rights and the school will discipline your kid, most likely with a suspension. The bully ends up free to do the same thing over and over again.

Here's how I work: the only thing a bully understands is force. You don't reason with them because you can't reason with an idiot. One thing parents must do is break the habit of telling their kid to ignore a bully and walk away. This is a potentially fatal mistake because YOU ARE GIVING THEM YOUR BACK AND THEY WILL TAKE ADVANTAGE. Your kid is at risk to being sent face first into the ground and being on the receiving end of some serious ground and pound, or of being choked out from behind. The most dangerous attack you can face is the one you do not see.

On to the application of force on bullies. Another mistake parents make is they tell their kid to let the bully throw the first shot; the reasoning is that their kid is legally right. If the bully knows how to deliver strikes, your kid could be legally maimed, crippled, or dead. Also, if your kid is covering up and defending, his response will be the one that gets seen; that means your kid is the one getting punished. That's why I don't give a rat's ass about politically correct "legally right". The doctrine of pre-emptive strike is what will keep your kid out of the hospital and out of a coffin. You never take your eyes off of or turn your back to a bully. When the threat is conveyed, and you know it's only one bully, you strike first and you take that threat out brutally; you do not take the chance that the bully could have company lying in wait. When it starts as one bully, and you can see he brought friends (reason why you never take your eyes off him or turn your back), you look for the bully closest to an open escape route, damage him, and get the f#ck out of there; think groin kicks, followed by knees to the face, and elbows to the face if the opportunity is there (think cutters or 12-6 elbows because they will devastate what they hit). The only legally right option is your kid's survival.

40 years is a good amount of time. May I ask you ... is what some posters here are saying true that the level of bullying is the same it's just the kids that are weaker true in your experience?

Brickwall, I was mortified when I read about your account of what happens in schools. I am perplexed at the situations in American schools.

I am from a country with lots of problems. After living in America I also noticed a lot of problems. I can assure anyone that what goes on in American schools was never even thought of in the country I am from. I will not mention the country that I immigrated from because that would skew someone's opinion of this post. Lets just say I immigrated from a European Country. This is what happened when I went to school in that European country:

1. Kids were excited to go to school everyday.

2. Kids were eager to learn and thought of school as a privilege.

3. Kids were immensely proud of their educational achievements.

4. Kids were encouraged at all times in their homes to do their best at school.

5. No stupid stuff like proms, school sports games, or any of that other unneeded crap.

6. Small disturbances did happen due to kids being kids but there was no bullying at any time, not mental bullying for sure.

7. Children in the country I went to school in were happy to be there.

8. Since children were raised by parents who were actually at home to raise their children right, and not drop them off at the babysitter from age 6 months until 13 years old, knew better than to expect teachers to be their parents.

9. Teachers were respected at all times. What they said was law.

10. No students destroyed any property at school, they knew better.

11. Small occasional scuffles between boys, no outright fights ever!

I look at children in this country who go to war in their schools every day and I feel sorry for them.

Seriously, I would not want to raise a child in these horrendous conditions.

As I have said it before, the conditions in America's schools persist because they are tolerated. Teachers tolerate it, parents tolerate it, and then the children have no choice but to tolerate that kind of torture every day.

Industrialized nation? Think again.

brickwall -

So true. While my son was attending school, there was one bully (male) who hit a girl so hard he caused a concussion. He was suspended for 3 days. His father raised such hell that he was back in school the next day. They won't allow punishment of bad behavior anymore. How do they expect to stop it? Therapy?

The article says that people around this young man never noticed any problem. He seemed ok. He might've been depressed over something. Things like that can be hidden very well. May his soul be at peace.

As for bullying, I agree with Brickwall and rodentwarrior. Bullies bully because they can and they get away with it. They need to be made to bleed. They need to learn that there's a painful consequence when they attack someone. A fist to the throat can be added to the list of defensive measures.

Bullying has risen to an entirely NEW level. It's no longer the "give me your lunch money" thing. It's more vicious and more verbal, and with most kids believing everything they see or hear on the net, much more dangerous than ever. Is it always the sole reason for suicide, probably not. There are undoubtedly a lot of emotional forces at work there. One thing that i think has remained constant through the ages though, and most people may not understand, especially most school systems, is that bullies are not BORN....they are RAISED. It all starts in the home. The parents should be held accountable in one way or another. The last I read, NJ is working on or recently adopted an anti-bullying law or program of some sort, but if it doesn't address the root cause, what good will it be?

I for one will say that the high school my daughter attends is amazing when it comes to bullying, they truly are zero tolerance, as soon as it's brought to their attention it's nipped in the bud immediately, I have nothing but high praise for that (there's other parts though that could use some work as no school is perfect)

You definitely missed school............ Were you expelled for bullying?

thats got to be projection,because there wearn't any facts in the story to support your conclusion

What are the lines between effeminate and not-effeminate? Where the hell do you draw the line? This is America! Why should anyone have to conform to a social norm?

Freeman, I'm an old fart also, but I know how to use cell phone cameras, post to Facebook, YouTube, Twitter and the like. The only difference today about bullying is technology. It's easier with the new tech. Face it, bullying has been going on since time began.

Look at Simians, one bullies one, then that one bullies another and so on. That's without the technology.

Want to stop bullying? Put each kid or adult in a room by him/herself and do everything by remote control. Of course, when whatever is over, i.e. work, school or whatever, then the bullying will just be in a different place.

Get realistic about changing times. New tech allows us to use this thread, make innuendos, call each other names, use fake names for the President and Presidential contenders and all the other garbage that goes on today. And remember, when I started school, there were only five or six cities with more than a million population, now how many or there. Schools rarely had more than about 800 or 1000 students, now some have 5000. Life continues at the pace of Moore's Law, with the exception of population. And that's trying to catch up.

Life goes on, times and tech change .It's just a fact of life.

Totally agree with your post. Savage? Absoulutely! Death wish of the younger generation? Yep, and they don't care about that!

Old fart or not, your opinion is right on. Nothing to do with age, just being aware of what is going on around us.

Oh, crap! This has been around since people gathered in groups.

I blame parents! Damnit, life isn't easy. Our job as parents is to prepare our children to be able to face this kind of adversity without giving up and slitting their wrists when things get tough! Where the hell were this kid's parents and what did they teach him while he was growing up?

Bullying is just how our nation works. Bigger companies chew up smaller companies. The rich politicians blame the poor for being poor. Majorities find ways to tackle minorities etc. Those bullied feel like they have only themselves to blame, but, in reality it is our society that creates these suicide stories.

The parents are definitely at fault, EE. But which parents? While there may be a certain genetic predisposition for a certain type of behavior at birth, bullies are raised. With proper parenting maybe some, not all, of that predisposition can be counter-acted. The parents of the one being bullied maybe miss the initial signs because they're too busy with whatever. Good parenting seems to be a lost art. You can't count on school administrators, because most of them only care about numbers and how they can get more money from the state or fed government. And the beat goes on.

I agree with most of your post free but I don't think kids kill themselves more than they did 20 years ago it's just we see it more now because of well basically this:

jackieboy

Freeman, I'm an old fart also, but I know how to use cell phone cameras, post to Facebook, YouTube, Twitter and the like. The only difference today about bullying is technology. It's easier with the new tech. Face it, bullying has been going on since time began.

I couldn't agree more captn:

The parents of the one being bullied maybe miss the initial signs because they're too busy with whatever.

And more likely than not the bully is being bullied at home.

you are freaking yourself out. there is no evidence he was bullied.

Can you read?I'll do it for you, and I quote.New Jersey police officers are investigating whether the apparent suicide was linked to REPORTS that he was BULLIED at school!It was reported that the kid was bullied at his school!

So what do you think he took his life for,because,maybe he was having a bad hair day,or maybe just for the hell of it?

Get a clue.The kid killed himself because he was bullied!

A "report" is not proof. Otherwise, the police wouldn't need to investigate

Students guilty of such behavior, and I mean all the students involved (often the ones that are pulling the strings are hiding out in secrecy) should be dispelled permanently.

People can say what they want: if a student is a bully the parent most likely is too. If a student bullies at school he or she needs to have that right taken away from them.

Let one of those wonderful parents homeschool that sucker for the rest of the time they have to learn.

Would teach the student a powerful lesson and it would teach the person that has the audacity to call himself or herself a parent teach a powerful lesson too.

There, not so tough, would of course explode because parents like that don't want to have anything to do with their offspring. Kid would probably end up dead.

America, the land of the free!!!

gloria fabiaschi

Was a 15yr.old's death the result of bullying?Well what the hell do you THINK?

While it's most likely true, I wouldn't bet the farm on it, my best friend killed himself when he was 15, MY BEST FRIEND! You'd have thought I would've seen it coming right? He wasn't bullied, he wasn't on drugs, he was a straight A student who had the whole world in front of him. Yet he chose to take his own life.

I agree Curt. What is even more horrendous is the thought of the next victims that the bully will claim. Going on to the workplace and that same behavior escalating throughout their lives.

The making of a criminal for sure.

The term "bullied" has expanded to a list of things that don't even exist. Bullying used to be someone who shoved you in a locker, took your lunch money, or tripped you in the hall. Now its anyone who is "not nice".

If people are going to teach kids that everyone is equal, kids aren't going to amount to anything beyond school. You can't play the tattle-tale game the rest of your life, and you can't depend on someone else to fix a problem for you.

I know people who are like this, and you do to - they get bullied.

Sharpton lost any credibility he might have enjoyed with me today when I heard him say axed instead of asked.

Yep, there's the mouth-breather section of the discussion. Thanks for not disappointing, nuts.

"Where is Al Sharpton and Jessie Jackson?" is the "Obama's fault" for 2012. Glad to see the uneducated knee jerks are changing up their reactionary schtick.

Not my nuts, your nuts.