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A Chicago-area man who allegedly was clocked driving 111 mph through a 45 mph forest preserve told a patrol officer he was in a hurry to “try to go have sex with a girl he liked.”
Zachary P. Ramirez, 21, of Naperville, which lies about 20 miles west of downtown Chicago, was caught speeding through Springbrook Prairie Forest Preserve last Saturday, according to the Chicago Sun-Times.
Police Sgt. Gregg Bell told the paper an officer saw Ramirez's 1994 Honda Prelude run a red light, then run a stop sign. Another officer pulled him over and asked him why he was traveling so fast.
For sex, he said.
Naperville Police Department via NBC Chicago
Zachary P. Ramirez is accused of driving 111 mph in a 45 mph zone.
The officer’s radar unit initially clocked the car traveling at 104 mph “and finally locked at 111 (mph),” Bell told the Sun-Times.
Disobeyed light and stop sign
Police also allegedly found 0.2 grams of marijuana in the car. Ramirez faces charges of speeding 40 mph or more over the limit, according to the paper. He also was charged with drug possession, disobeying a traffic light and disobeying a stop sign.
Ramirez is free on $200 bond, the Sun-Times reported. His arraignment date is pending.
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Sounds like a valid reason to me.
Yeah, I mean there are lame made-up excuses, then there's the truth. Time served and a $500 fine, next case!
I'm going to reserve judgement until I see a picture of the girl. She's gotta be at least a 7 for this to be justified (10 MPH over the speed limit per point on the classic 1-10 scale).
Drug possession for two tenths of a gram of pot??????? How lame can you get?
I think this guy may have a promising future career in the Secret Service.
Maybe he should have had her come over to his place. See how big a hurry she was in!!!
2 bulls sitting on the top of a hill watching the herd.
The young bull says to the older bull, "lets run down and have our way with one of those cows"..
The older bull says, "lets walk down and have our way with all of them"..
Sounds reasonable - at age 21, I would've sped and broken a ton of traffic laws in order to get some. At that age, there's no higher priority in life
Hey man the dude was horny give him a break!! But I'm with you guys about the pot. If it were legalized it would be one less charge the poor guy would have on his record. Unconitionally legalize her, like yesterday!!!! I love my goddess Mary Jane!!!!!! Free her now, she has been imprisoned waaay too long!!!!!!
He may get sex in jail, but probably not with a girl he likes.
LOL, the pot heads are freaking out about him getting busted for .2 grams of pot.
I just laugh at this whole thing and think "nothing will slow you down like a speeding ticket".. This guy was super anxious to get laid.. premature ejaculator maybe?
In NJ he would have received a police escort, while in NY the police might have given him an escort, but they would have assaulted his date upon arrival.
I think he's got a "built in" excuse, tho, he could say that his woody was hitting the gas pedal...
.2 grams? thats not even a small bowl.
0.2 gram is such a small amount (1/5 of 1/28 of approx an ounce) that it may have blown in by the wind in some areas and he should get off at trial...
If he'd had an open beer in the car he would have been cited for that. MJ was a good call. Tit for Tat!!
I feel bad for the girl, she missed out on 5 seconds of sex.
There was probably more marijuana in the cop car than his. More hookers and beer as well.
nea exec-
please, don't say he'll "get off at trial"
Hope we get the video on World's Dumbest next Thursday
what exactly does .2 grams of pot look like? How do you distinguish it from dirt and dust? couldn't a gust of wind just blow it away?
After all that, I wonder if he got what he was going after?
First off, I'm very suprised he was able to get his bucket Prelude past 100MPH. Secondly, that has to be some good tail to drive that much over the speed limit. Maybe she does anal?
Pretty lame excuse, now a BJ from the gal while driving would be more believable...
I agree .2 grams is like not even one hit. At least not for me but then again I been tokin' for 38 years.
Secret service would have followed him and demanded they had her first.
MSNBC and their lackluster reporting. For god's sake, did he have sex??? The world needs to know. He is technically a "bad boy" now so that should help.
He wanted sex, now he's really screwed!
If he'd just stuck with 88 MPH, the ticket wouldn't have been as bad, and he could've gone back in time and had sex with his grandmother or something.
Seems legit - but she better be at least an 8.75
I bet everyone on here,male and female,has speeded to have sex at one time another,tell me a lie that you have not.
As cheap as bond was it must not be much of a fine,$200x.10=$20 to get out
As far as how fast he would drive to his wedding,if he is smart he would drive the same speed in the other direction.
@ John Nettles-to answer your question, I have speed to go have sex. It was when my first husband and I were seperated and he called me before work to come get some. I was speeding down the road that they have just paved and lost control. Needles to say, my car ended upside down on the side of the road. Thankfully I didn't have any injuries to myself, only some bruising. Now, I didn't tell the state police why I was speeding, only that I was and lost control.
Yes... it all comes down to a matter of "self -control"
Really? .2 grams? thats like not even enough to make you cough. Silly! Waste of $$. They probably vacumed it off his floor.Reminds me of a personal experience i had in AZ. My friend, his brother who lives out there, and I were comming back from smoking in CA when we were stopped at a highway checkpoint cause we smelled like pot from smokin it 1 hr earlier. when the car was searched they found a litteral SPECK of something that might have been pot. The border patrol agent started FREAKING OUT YELLING at us "do you know we can test this? if we do and find its MJ then you are all going to jail!!!"(when i say speck i mean GRAIN OF SAND SMALL) as he was holding it in the pam of his hand in front of my friends brothers face.
Dan then BLEW VERY HARD into the officers hand and said"TEST WHAT?" BAMM,SMACK,THUD!! All three of us on the ground Knees Painfully thrust into our backs and in cuffs after about 4 smacks to the head for Dan.after threatenning us ALL with tampering with evidence and jail time if we didnt tell them where the rest of the drugs were for 3 Hours they litterally DESTROYED his car ,pulling out all the seals out around the doors,windows and T-Tops,cutting his carpet with knifes and pulling it up,cutting the back of his seats to look inside them and finding nothing they said(laughing out loud and in our faces) YOU ARE FREE TO GO NOW. After doing $6,000 dollars dammage to the interior to his car.
All for a speck of something that might have been weed. They were ready to ruin our lives for it and when that possibility was gone thay decided to ruin our auto instead!!
LEEGALLIZE MARIJUANA
AZ is a phucked up state.
No one yet has yelled, "tonight's the night!" ?
He looks like the man drawn in the article about pretend cop hitting and robbing elderly.
Ironically, if he had actually smoked some of his .2 ounces of pot he would have been driving below the speed limit to get sex!
I haven't, but then again, I don't have to rush things, I can keep it up a long time... Stamina and patience is a good thing...
I can understand being eager, but really, no sex is worth risking death for. Remember, you don't get any in the grave...
What did the cop say-
Congrats! Now you're f*cked!
cm-
btw, I don't know about you, but as soon as I die, I'm gonna be stiff until I turn into dust...
This is the best medicine in the world for depression... a crazy article and the hilarious comments. Thanks everyone, for brightening my day! Love y'all!! xx
Did it work?
I'm sorry but what this guy was doing was just pathetic. Not only does his lack self-control (something which should deny him the ability to procreate in the first place) but he put himself and others at risk.
@The Painful Truth-2712888
Something that people seem to lack.
My engine in one of my cars died once and was stuck on the side of the highway middle of winter for hours. When a cop finally showed up they searched my car and thought they seen spots of pot on the floor and threatened to vacuum it up. I laughed as it was not pot and said please do, but can you do the whole carpet. However they found a half a Vicodin from god knows when? But I have had many prescriptions over the years and yes they charged me for half a pill that was partially dissolved and obviously very old. The DA dropped the charge no evidence and I had doctors notes.
I was really surprised how bad it was to have your engine die on the highway. Never once asked if I was shaking due to the cold and exposure to the elements. They thought I was something I wasn't. Never once asked me if I needed help. Criminal until proven innocent sometimes.
Man oh Man would a phone, blanket and a cup of hot coffee been very appreciated!
I did ask them for my half dissolved pill back but they didn't give it back, I hope they didn't pop it it looked very gross! I think maybe their attempts at intimidation didn't work and it pissed them off? IDK I still had to pay a court charge of $85. What a joke!
OOO yeah when they ask if they can search your car, that means they are going to whether you say no or yes! LMFAO Maybe I should of said yes search it? They told me after 9/11 they did not need probable cause!
seriously?
ha - bet he only last 3 seconds - and his nickname of teeny isn't cause of his stature
I think this guy is the Man!! You know nothing about him and probably do yourself every night. He has the right motives, good weed, and wanted to get an early start. Nothing wrong here, A+ for effort.........
I think this guy needs a remedial biology lesson, its the fastest SPERM that wins.
Or maybe she was going to give it up to the first guy that showed up.
Guys seem to be under the impression that there is no such thing as "premature". And technically, there isn't. When it's time - it's time. Women need to learn that it may not be their time but it was time for somebody.
Police need to learn that there may be time limits between offer and successful conclusion.
Lawyers always use the phrase "time is if the essence". Little did I know they were holding back from the "Big O" (no - not oprah, either).
Valid reason, or worth the effort. Wonder if Bubba was that good and worth the trouble...
When you dangle a summer sausage over the grand canyon the sausage appears to be merely a vienna sausage.
Girl points and says "who you going to satisfy with that", guy says "me". A man who wont speed for some nookie doesnt want it bad enough.
have u been in his pants.. and I wonder if the catholic church approves
Must have been unused to hurry that fast!. Wonder what his parents thought ?. If she wanted it she should have made the drive her self. It's better when they chase you!. Must have been one hell of a potato hiller he that could not take extra time to get there!.
nice!
he just learned, the HARD way...there is a difference between getting fu..ed and getting laid!
it's just as well he got stopped. he was rushing to meet up with Chris Hansen from "to catch a predator", he just didn't know it...
But you didn't finish the story...did he get laid? Was the sex so good it was worth all that trouble and expense :)??
Was the sex good? Sex is like pizza it is all good, some just better than others.
yep the cops screwed him lol
I wish I could agree with you Opinions...unfortunately...I've had the bad sex. Mind you...it has to reach pretty monumental depths of @!$%#titude to mess it up but it is possible.
I think we need to see the chick in question to determine if the speeding was justified.
Unfortunately, there is such a thing as bad sex. I'm sure I can get some women to agree with me on that. Can I get an amen?
And there is such a thing as bad pizza too. Pizza with broccoli on it, for example.
Sex with broccoli is no good either.
amen...I say AMEN! LOL
AMEN! There's a lot of men in this world who only think of what pleases them when it comes to sex.
@WeAllHaveOpinions
LMAO...preach that eternal truth brotha
To realisticwomen.....AMEN sister!!!!! Lets make that a double AMEN!!!!!! Every man thinks they are God's gift to women in bed....guess what guys......not so much LOL!
Realistic woman;
An "amen?" How 'bout a BOB (battery operated boyfriend)
Another amen for you! You can tell a man said that, that's for sure. Clueless!
Agreed, RMJ.
If I recall the conversation afterwards:
"I'm sorry if I hurt you."
"What makes you think you hurt me?"
"I thought I felt you move."
when you're horny, and have a boner like a freight train.... ANY sex is good!!
Amen!!
Awww poor little fella! It's never a good thing when men are coming toooo fast!
Sorry.
Couldn't resist.
Lame excuse. Clearly the "little head" was doing the thinking. But having seen his photo it is clear why he was in such a hurry. I am sure he does not get too many opportunies to have sex with a "real" girl --or maybe his "little blue pills" had "kicked in" already and time was of the essentice. Well, if he goes to jail he will be gettin' some from his cellmates, Bubba and Spilke (even if he does not want it!)
Leprechaun - "...boner..."? Really? Should you be in middle school right now?
Hey! Boner is a funny word. Like fart.
I should be in middle school right now, but my teacher called me and her in sick, after too much sex with me last night.
Bet he is just as fast with his girlfriend...POOR GIRL!!!
A snail was supposed to meet his friend for happy hour at 4:oo pm. He shows up at 11:30 and his long since drunk friend asks, "It's almost midnight! Where the heck have you been?" The tardy snail exclaims; "I stopped by my girlfriends for a quicky."
I heard of "fast" women before --(lol) maybe he wanted to get there before the girl sobered up and changed her mind.. you know how those 13 year old are....
Painful Truth, And after the 13 year old says "I'll be right back", Chris Hansen of that predator show comes out and says "What are you doing here".
Which is why our boy was in such a hurry... He wanted to get there fast, do his business and be done and gone before the News crew showed up!
BTW: Interesting that he was driving a "Prelude" -- (Did not that replace of the "Foreplay" — ;)
Got here too early. Be back later to read the comments because I just know they're going to be hilarious.
One word dude:
Foreplay
two words:
HOV lane
three words.... wear a rubber!!
4 words...
What is her number?
5 words...
Stop touching yourself and drive.
six words...I did not get mine yet
seven words...
Can I please get a police escort?
Eight Words...
I told you not to start without me!
Nine words...
The prelude was a "prelude" all right, to: nevermind!
ten words-
nothing sucks like getting out of jail with no weed...
There's nothing more dumb than youth--they think that they have discovered sliced bread!
There's nothing dumber than a horny male (i.e. Secret Service).
i'd say inexperienced before i say dumb....though missing out on some butt because you're going that fast IS pretty dumb especially at 21. She's not going anywhere man! Slow down!
"more dumb?" and you're criticizing the youth? Try to get "less stupid"
leonhl-
I disagree, ever heard of Octomom??
Doesn't get much more dumberer than that!
Sliced bread! the bes tthing since....BREAD!!
2 tenths of a gram of marijuana?
No kidding. I probably have more than that in my couch cushions right now.
They must have went over his car with a fine toothed comb 2 tenths of a gram give me a break.
@purveyor_of_justice
hehehehe
I'm pretty sure I do too
Fine tooth comb is right! You have no idea how far the pigs will go to "get their man".
I let a friend borrow my car and he got stopped by the cops because they mistook him for a wanted drug dealer. When I got my car back they had completely taken apart the front half of the interior of my car where the driver and passenger sit. When I say completely I mean down to the metal of the floorboard, console taken apart, dashboard taken apart, bucket seats taken apart. Of course he wasn't a drug dealer and they didn't find anything. Guess that's the only reason they didn't take apart the back seat too. No apology from the oinkers and I had to take my car to a body shop to have it put back together at my expense! I no longer have any respect for the police. I could be having a home invasion and still wouldn't ask for their help!
purveyor-
tell your couch to call me
There but for the grace of God go I!!!!
Realist...has anyone ever called you a doormat? If they REALLY didn't find anything, then they could not have left your car in that condition. If they did, that's what lawyers are for. (Or your insurance company at the very least.)
94 Prelude at 111 MPH. They should have let him go for a few minutes. It would have blown. (no pun intended)
Initial reposrts show he was pulled over at first just so the cops could ask him how the hell he did it.
My thoughts exactly. You're either very brave or very dumb to push an 18 year old Quaalude to 111 MPH. On a two lane road. At night. In a forest preserve. Jeez. If he hit a deer, the only thing left would have been an engine block with some antlers on it.
Nature thinning the herd - the herd won this one!
I am totally busting a gut, this is hahalarious! All the comments especially ChrisMcK. will have me chuckling all day. I'll be back later to see the rest of the comments.
Cosigned. I've been in a Prelude. Surprised it had that much giddyup.
tyler
I am guessing you have never been in a fast car? Giddyup? In a 94 Honda? Best joke on here today!
Maybe it was all downhill.
why knock an import that can still outperform most domestic cars today? compared to other cars of its class, it it a very good car and has great resell value and longevity. 111 in a prelude is easy, even 130 is easy with some mods, go full mod and 140+ is great. its no super car but then its not suppose to be but i can say for sure that a 94 modded prelude can beat any domestic sports car like the charger or mustang or w/e junk they make in a quarter-mile run.
McPeterGriffin
I totally agree. Best Joke Period.
Have a little empathy though. Some little boys never really get out from behind their computers and see the real world.
I'll bet more than just his arraignment "date" is pending. What are the chances he's NOT going to be gettin' ANY from the girl he was so anxious to see in the first place?
maybe she likes bad boys....don't most girls?
Ha! She should be glad....pretty sure he ejaculates just as fast! She dodged a bullet!
A lot of men have that problem Jlew911, or so I have heard.
With a little practice a man can have multiple orgasms, but only ejaculate once. In other words, go to the edge and stop, you can get the sensation but not actually release. Then when you pick it up again you can go forever! I have actually gone so long I had to rest because I wore myself out. Truth.
TMI, Mr. Steady.
Mr. Steady please talk to my Husband....
Sorry, CL444. I tried not to make it too graphic. Guess I failed... Worse, I was off topic. Maybe I'll post it again in the future on a relevant article...
Mr. Steady, I assume you mean you wore your hand out, right?
And some of us can come, get hard immediately again and then cum over and over again. I wore one GF out after 6 hours of non-stop pleasure.
nosferatu, You would be wrong. You are assuming because of your own experience? Guess I didn't give TMI after all? (See 11.3) But, really you should get a grip (excuse the pun) on the jealousy.
LOL, no offense taken and none intended. Just having some fun; but you still assumed wrong.
lessthan, Now that's a little graphic. And a little difficult to believe. After 6 hours, I would have a heart-attack.
lessThan99%
Marathon sex, best exercise in the world. Call me! ;-)
Mr. Steady...hate to burst your bubble, but had a boyfriend who could go there. Unfortunately had to give him the boot when I discovered he was a registered sex offender.
Realist, Not surprised that someone with that much libido would be a registered sex offender... Are you sure lessthan isn't him? Better be careful with the online invitations. :-)
You know I thought about that, but he's back in the clink. Something about his girlfriend turning him in for lying to the authorities about where he was living, like right behind a high school.
Was just kidding (you know, humor?) with the call me comment. :-)
Got the humor, but living behind a high school? Wow, there are a lot of sickos out there. Glad you were able to get free of him.
She dodged a bullet, but it got in her hair...
She want a pearl necklace....
boy that must have been one damn good piece of *ss
No just willing....
ashley - when you're this guy's age, "good" and "willing" are synonyms...just sayin'...
Very True
7 years after marrying his girlfriend he will be driving the opposite direction at twice the speed!!!
he was only 3 mph short of 69 over the speed limit.
He got screwed but not in the way he was hoping for. 111 mph in a 45 mph zone - take his license away for life!
Or just force him to rub one out and watch him take a long nap...
The only way to "take a long nap" when one has a BST (Blue Steel Throbber) is to at least rub one out. Otherwise there isn't enough loose skin left to close one's eyes.
that explains my sleep apnea??
I can't believe this is news, and i can't believe I am posting a comment.
I can't believe I'm replying to your post. And I can't believe its not butter.
It's Friday
LOL
Just means it's closer to Monday.
and another day closer to NEXT friday
Hmmmm, that reminds me of a really bad song.
You guys must be bored LOL
This has been one of the funniest best read's in a while.....TGIF everyone...I need to get home to my BF....LOL
I can't believe your mom was going to sleep with this guy!!!!!
I can't believe, that you can't believe, she can't believe that they can't believe. Or something like that.
A taste test would make you a believer.
mmmmmmmmm butter
not bored, entertained...
Don't stop believin'
"do you still believe in LOVE!"
I can't help feeling sorry for this guy. Only 0.2 grams of pot and no sex. That's a sh*tty night.
A for effort, sh&t for brains!
Why Is This News???????
...Public interest? :D Not "real" news, but it did make me laugh.
Have a sense of humor Robert....this is hilarious. I would rather read and comment on a story like this than all the horrible child abuse, murder, etc stories you normally see. I think someone needs to get laid!
.2 grams of marijuana? This guy needs 20 years to life....
There ain't no booty in the world worth going over 93 mph........
He couldn't see past his pitched tent to see the speedometer?
Maybe the tent pole was interfering with the throttle operation.
He was just being a smartass. Just wasting his resources like that is so stupid.
111? why didnt the cops arrest his ass and throw him in the shade? Im sure he would have gotten all the sex he could handle there!
What? Does his girlfriend have an expiration date or something? She'll keep........
....for at least 3 1/2 weeks, anyway