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Subscribe to RSSAhead of their 25-year high school reunion, former classmates come together to make amends with a woman who was taunted for being poor. KNSD-TV's Tony Shin reports.
A woman says a Facebook poem she posted about bullying has brought pleas for forgiveness from former classmates who tormented her at a California high school 25 years ago.
Now, some of those classmates want to make amends and have asked Lynda Frederick, 42, of Rochester, N.Y., to attend her 25th high school reunion in Escondido, Calif., on July 27, compliments of the Orange Glen High School Class of 1987.
“I am nervous,” Frederick told msnbc.com on Friday. “I am looking forward to seeing them, even knowing that what has happened has happened. I have forgiven those who have hurt me in the past.”
See NBCSanDiego.com's report on Frederick and the Class of 1987
Frederick said she received phone calls, emails and Facebook messages from former classmates after she posted a poem on the Orange Glen High School Class of 1987 Facebook page.
In her poem, she wrote:
that little girl who came to school with the clothes she wore the day before
instead of asking why.. you picked on her
the little girl who had to walk to school while others rode the bus
instead of asking why.. you picked on her
the little girl who had bruises and was dirty
instead of asking why.. you picked on her
the little girl who was always crying
instead of asking why.. you picked on her
“They’re all apologizing now for how I was treated,” Frederick said. “I had one man call me up and we talked for an hour on the phone. He cried and cried. I kept saying, ‘You can’t fix yesterday, so let’s fix today.’”
Frederick said she posted the poem on the Facebook page as a way to send a message to her peers about how bullying affects victims.
“It never leaves you,” Frederick said. “I wanted people to know that for the one who is doing the bullying, it could just be a phase, but for the person who is being bullied, it stays with you all your life.”
Lynda Frederick, second from right, says she was bullied 25 years ago in high school. She's pictured with her sons and daughter.
'I cried'
Lisa Wallace was among the Facebook users to read it.
"This poem touched me so bad I could not sleep. I cried," Wallace told NBCSanDiego.com.
Kristi Malone remembered Frederick and how brutal kids had been to the bespectacled brunette.
"Looking at her being bullied horribly and thinking, ‘I feel so bad for her,’" Malone told NBCSanDiego.com. "But never thinking in my head that I could stand up for her, and not once did anyone back her up."
Other classmates have read the poem and many have said they feel overwhelmed by guilt.
"Just people in tears, like 'How could we have done this to her,' Malone said. They "were just crying, saying 'Why did I do that?'"
After graduation, Frederick said, she packed up her belongings and headed to New York state to begin anew.
"I needed to get out, to get away,” Frederick told msnbc.com.
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Today, Frederick has three children, 22-year-old Eric, 20-year-old Bryson and 14-year-old Amanda, who is currently dealing with bullying issues at school, she said.
"She’s overweight and doesn’t wear the trendiest clothes and it’s been very difficult,” Frederick said. “I tell her to look at the people and say, ‘If you don't like what I'm wearing, if you don't like the way I look, then don't look.’"
She said she hopes her daughter’s classmates will change their behavior.
Organizers for the Orange Glen High School Class of 1987 reunion have collected more than $800 to Frederick an airline ticket to California for the event.
She has accepted and plans to stay for a week. She said she is looking forward to seeing everyone, no matter what happened in the past.
"She really is my hero because she succeeded through all of this," Wallace said. "I look up to her."
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(1) Forgiveness isn't something you do for someone else. it's something you do for yourself. It's a gift you give yourself.
(2) The aspect of the money gives me the chills. Classmates who hurt your feelings 25 years ago now paying out for your trip to the reunion and a week long vacation...well, I guess it's their decision but you certainly should be griping about those who don't chose to pay you, Lynda.
I bet you do have a headache.. conscience starting to bother you now?
and I mean you should NOT be griping about those who don't choose to pay, Lynda.
It is one thing when students do the bullying....it is another thing when those in authority passively allow it to happen.
Case in point: Two NYC twins (boy and girl) move to rural Western Kentucky in the 1970's. They may have moved to Mars. 7 Mile bus ride from Home to Hell's checkpoint A, the elementary school. 18 Mile bus ride from Checkpoint A to final destination in Dixon, Kentucky. Teachers mocked their clothes, their accent and their ways. Students tormented them on the bus.
Both graduated, both went to University, both moved out of Kentucky. Both never looked back.
The lady in the article was right....bullied kids NEVER forget.
thank you Robert
I too was bullied by some neighborhood kids in High School, who arrainged fights with other children to bully me! So when I joined the US Navy, I realized there was nothing wrong with me, I was home on leave and noticed the chief bully going into a convenience store, I followed behind him and waited until he got up to the magazine rack. I then walked up beside him and asked if he still thought he was the s#$!, and told him it was time for payback! I had changed substantially since he last seen me and all he could do was stand there with his mouth open and his eyes wide! That was so cool, I remember it like it was yesterday, even though it was 40 years ago! I wish all who were bullied when they were a kid knew that Karma would be served one day and they will be blessed with seeing it come to pass!
I went to this same High School and did not attend my 20th Reunion this year because of being subject to being bullied. I was bullied for a variety of reasons, take your pick. I really don't care to see any of those people, nor do I want the reminder the following years were made difficult because I carried that around with me. I'm glad that Lynda has found resolution and this be a lesson for those who bullied kids or have children who bully others.
You were very pretty and your classmates were jealous of you. Go to the reunion and show them up again. My heart is with you Linda.
I have been her...hated school for all the same reasons she did....teachers back then never helped, noone ever knew the pain I had being an abused kid at home, poor and shy and having to go to school where the abuse only continued..but growing into a strong woman I can tell you I would never give any thought to feeling the need to be apologized to...I would have wrote the poem and let them feel bad about themselves and know in my heart I don't need thier approval to be the best I could be. If they had any feelings what so ever they would have reached out to her knowing what they did to her but they didn't care until their ugly was made public....don't bow down to their forgiveness spend the night with your beautiful family instead. Luckily my kids never had to face this because I made sure they had all they need for success with thier peers, but they also new to be the defenders of those being bullied so if my experience taught them to help other kids in thier school experience than it was all worth it...Accept the apology you were looking for with your post, but don't give them a time a day, cause usually ugly doesn't change to much with time.
People bully because their own self esteem is in the toilet. I'm glad this issue is finally being addressed, as when I was in school 70's-80's, it was ignored and considered a part of "growing up". Well, people grow up, but the scars stay with you through out life. Even the disapproving looks or being left out, it's all apart of it.
HAHAHA- My comment was "collapsed by the community" so I am reposting!:
Funny how everyone is complaining about Chris's endorsement of bullying and subsequently bullying him for having a different opinion than theirs. You hypocrites.
Then, half the comments are about him, and all of his comments are "collapsed by the community"
He's not doing anything violent, just having a different opinion, so you "internet bully" him
Talk about hypocrisy...
Yes, in the long run being bullied has made me a stronger person, but it took me forever to get there. I love myself and my life now, but sometimes I wonder what I could have done with those years that I spent getting my self-confidence and trust in other people back.
UPDATE: #1 for those that told me not to go that I would be made fun of or whatever... WRONG. I had a blast and everyone there was awesome. I got more hugs than I could of imagined. NOT ONE of my classmates regretted getting me there. I know they were sincere when they would come up to me with tears in their eyes and say how sorry they were. Also being told how they wondered what happened to me because i left 25 years ago and no one had heard from me since and they wondered where i was. It felt great to be there NOT for sympathy but for making new friends and reuniting with old one.
BUT the point in this wasn't to get a "free vacation" or "sympathy" it was to get the word out about bullying and the effects it has on the one being bullied AND the bullies. Can we put an end to it because of my story? NO not completely however I feel if my story at least helps out ONE child then I'm satisfied for putting out my poem like I did and my classmates standing behind me the way they did.
So don't judge me because you don't know the WHOLE story. NO ONE ever will it's something I hold inside. Being bullied was just part of it. Don't down me for excepting my classmates offer to go to the reunion, it's about what goes on yesterday; today and tomorrow as far a bulling goes and what can we do about it. Kids can't find a way out these days so they kill themselves. Is that the answer? NO!! what can YOU do to help kids in your area NOT go through what i did or others who have been in my shoes.. whether it was a year ago or 25 years ago it sticks with you the hurt and pain. Being able to forgive was only done because Christ forgave me. I couldn't have done it without HIM and that's why I did after all this time. I didn't want to hold a grudge anymore. And now i've been set free from that grudge.
Lets help our kids find ways OUT of being bullied or bullying. Open your doors; arms and anything you can to let them know your there for them so 25 years from now you don't have to hear about another story like mine