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Subscribe to RSSCows on the loose in Boxford, Mass., crashed a backyard party and helped themselves to beer. WHDH-TV's Tim Caputo reports.
Cows on the loose in Boxford, Mass., crashed a backyard party last weekend, and went right for the beer.
“They enjoyed it. There’s no doubt about it. They went right for the beer and then when one was done, they’d knock another one over and take care of that beer,” Lt. James Riter of the Boxford Police Department told NBC affiliate WHDH.com.
Police said they heard reports of screams from a group of women as five or six cows stumbled into the yard, eagerly hurtling toward the beers.
“They got up as the cows went toward the table. They stepped back and the cows took over the table, knocking over the beers with their noses, drinking the beer off the table. They went to the recycling bin to find any leftovers,” Riter told the TV station.
A caller told the 911 dispatcher: “We thought they were deer, but they're huge, huge, huge cows. There's got to be five or six of them.”
Andrea Poritzky also called 911 after spotting "about six cows" in her yard.
"I don't own cows,” she said.
“I was initially a little nervous. And then after I found it very comical and not very surprising due to the fact that we live in the country here,” Poritzky said.
A police escort rounded up the cows and returned them to a farm about a mile away.
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Leave a Comment:
These ladies could have atl least put out some snacks so they don't leave stumbling drunk.
I agree, cows don't want to be grass fed any more than you do.
OMG! I can't stop laughing! Cows night out!
Hopefully, they didn't suffer from hangovers the next morning!
Since cows have a 4-part stomach, I wonder how it handles beer...on second thought, maybe I don't want to know.
Just the headline is a scream: "Cows crash backyard party, drink beer" Perfect. Next time invite the cows so they don't have to crash the party.
Mmmm, barley & hops raised beef! Keep the hay, oats, antibiotics, steroids...fatten mine up with a nice microbrewed stout!
There is a local beer label here called Spotted Cow.
Does not say what kind of beer was being served.
Kobe beef. Those cattle are fed beer. Animals love beer, horses, hogs, some dogs and chicken and now, cattle. They prefer the imports over domestic but will make do when they have no other choice.
To the people making jokes, alcoholism is a disease and a very serious epidemic in the bovine community. These cows need help so that they can become contributing members of society
Look's like lite beer, what do you know, a cow that watches it's weight!!!
I wonder : after they got drunk, did the cows go out and do some human tipping ?
The Cow is too well known, I fear,
To need an introduction here.
If She should vanish from Earth’s face
It would be Hard to fill Her place;
For with the Cow would disappear
So much that every one holds Dear.
Oh, think of all the Boots and Shoes,
Milk Punches, Gladstone Bags, and Stews
And Things too Numerous to Count
Of which my Child She is the Fount!
Let’s hope, at least, the Fount may last
Until Our Generation’s past!
Too funny dirp....still LMAO.....
Jim, nice avatar btw. Guessing Shel?
In Japan, they feed the Kobe cows beer, suppost to be the best beef out there! Kobe beef! MMMM!
I like to marinate my steak in beer before I charcoal. Sure gives it a good flavor. Don't let cattle or horses near you cars because they like to eat the paint from them. By the way, we need to keep them from drinking and driving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Another break in by the notorious "Bovine Beer Herd" gang. Something has to be done and now. Today it's just beer tomorrow vodka and soon it's Scotch. Everyone knows that beer is a gateway drink to harder liquor.
honestly officer...all i had to drink was milk....funny story
Fat and docile, big and dumb
They look so stupid, they aren't much fun
Cows aren't fun
They eat to grow, they grow to die
They die to be eaten at the hamburger fry
Cows well done
Nobody thunk it, nobody knew
No one imagined the great cow guru
Cows are one
He hid in the forest, read books with great zeal
He loved Che Guevera, a revolutionary veal
Cow Tse Tongue
He spoke about justice, but nobody stirred
He felt like an outcast, alone, in the herd.
Cow doldrums
He mooed we must fight, escape or we'll die
Cows gathered around, cause the stakes were so high
Bad cow pun
But then he was captured, stuffed into a crate
Loaded onto a truck, where he rode to his fate
Cows are bummed
He was a scrawny calf, who looked rather woozy
No one suspected he was packing an Uzi
Cows with guns
They came with a needle to stick in his thigh
He kicked for the groin, he pissed in their eye
Cow well hung
Knocked over a tractor and ran for the door
Six gallons of gas flowed out on the floor
Run cows run!
He picked up a bullhorn and jumped up on the hay
We are free roving bovines, we run free today
We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die...
Cows with guns
They crashed the gate in a great stampede
Tipped over a milk truck, torched all the feed
Cows have fun
Sixty police cars were piled in a heap
Covered in cow pies, covered up deep
Much cow dumg
Black smoke rising, darkening the day
Twelve burning McDonald's, have it your way
We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the buffalo, or die
Cows with guns
The President said "Enough is Enough!
These uppity cattle, it's time to get tough"
Cow dung flung
The newspapers gloated, folks sighed with relief
Tomorrow at noon, they would all be ground beef
Cows on buns
The cows were surrounded, they waited and prayed
They mooed their last moos,
They chewed their last hay
Cows out-gunned
The order was given, turn cows to Whoppers
Enforced by the might of ten thousand coppers
But on the horizon, surrounding the shoppers
Came the deafening roar, of chickens, in choppers!
We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the buffalo, or die
Cows with guns
(Dana Lyons)
LOT of time on your hands to type all that in?
Loved that song!
My parents now live out in the county and I was biking down to the store and saw some cows and was totally singing it to them....they looked less then amused.
Glad to see someone was inspired this early in the morning.
That song was the first thing I thought of when reading this story. "At least the cows weren't armed when they got drunk"
Dana, I loved it! Fantastic. Do you have more to read? A website or something?
seattle mary -
you were probably off key - cows are sensitive that way
here ya' go...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5s5qGg01nE
The once was a cow from nantucket...
Have you herd of copy and paste?;)
AtomAnt,
Your totally right!!! God remind me not to try to sing in the cow barn at the county fair, I could start a riot!
Cows Gone Wild..................
OMG after all that beer drinking they probably all were having sex and we will see calfs born in the near future.
Gee Lisa, do you think the calves will be born with fetal alcohol syndrome?
Can you imagine the wet T-shirt contest? Pole dancing? Slip - N - Slide?
What were my inlaws doing in Mass???
That's funny Ashley!!!
I could say that same thing about a co-worker of mine. I thought it was her in the picture actually!!!
Way to be a bully Karen. Very nice of you. Couldn't possibly hurt anyone's feelings. Have you talked to your co-worker? Maybe there's an underlying health condition there? Nah, why bother.. Just go a head and mock them. That'll help motivate them.
Oh jeez Zeke STFU and take a joke.
Scott- I fail to see the humor in mocking someone to make yourself feel better. Can't say sorry for being a decent human.
That's right Zeke, since you're so determined to defend this person who you don't even know and who is being slightly made fun of by someone else you don't know, that makes you a better person than the rest of us. Kudos to you for being hyper sensitive! This is a funny story with a funny thread. Laugh you tool!
Way to be a bully Karen. Very nice of you. Couldn't possibly hurt anyone's feelings.
That's right, Zeke. Karen2529772 is about as anonymous as one could get and saying "a co-worker of mine" is pretty cryptic, as well. How is she bullying anyone and how could she possibly hurt someone's feelings on this board where nobody knows who anyone is? And how is she making herself feel better by saying this? You have no idea what you're talking about. Scott's right. Relax and learn to take a joke. You'll live longer and be a lot happier.
Zeke - your attitude reminds me of the South Park episode a few weeks back about bullying and the sometimes sanctimonious attitude. Real bullying is bad yes - making a classic crack about someone's in-laws is funny.
I'm Karen's co-worker... and I resemble that remark.
No, I am Karen's co-worker and you do resemble that remark. All in favor say "Aye"
AtomAnt: I think you meant to say "All in favor say MOOOOOOOO!"
Raise a hoof?
Hey Zeke, take a pill, or better yet, a suppository.
I guess they were looking for Elsie. Sadly, they were too late, she was already well done.
They always wanted to go on a beer tipping raid.
Ha!
Nice.
Good point F'inCrazy... They probably got tired of us tipping them and felt like fighting back by tipping over the beers.
Funny, but for a moment, I thought this was a political thread on Gingrich! LOL!!!
oh yeah, another case of beer tipping
Well at least it didn't go to waste, that would be abuse :)
Not the worst party guests they ever had.
""Obama calls Romney speech 'a cow pie of distortion'""
"""Beer-guzzling cows crash backyard party"""
Okay.. I can tell it's going to be a long weekend..
have a happy and safe Memorial day weekend folks
At least none of them tried to drive afterward...
I dunno...it did say they needed a police escort. Were their flashers on, as well? The police cars, I mean.
Wonder if the farmer was ticketed? Wonder if the cows were "grounded"?
Contributing to the delinquency of a cow.
Man, can you imagine the beer farts afterwards? You worried about methane, they got that beat!
Kris1234-3592742 why? Mass is a fence out state. If you don't want animals on your property it is your responsibility to fence them out.....
This happens to me everytime I have a party. The damn next door cows have to crash the party, drink all the beer, eat all the snacks and then they start skinny dippin (you DO NOT want to see some of these cows nekked!) and end up poopin in the pool and raisin hell. The next thing you know, the cops come, the cows hit the road and I end up trying to explain it to the cops. "Really Officer, we didn't pile all of the cow patties on your car...it was the cows"
Cute officer!!
We had this happen about 8 years ago, we were having a family BBQ, and the cows from the neighbors managed to get our gate open, they ate every thing except the meat drank all the beer and soda, even ate my azaleas! They were HUGE too big ole Texas longhorns.
Miller time and this Bud's for you!
City people crack me up. Just walk over to the cows with your arms out. They'll move. If the world ever ends these people would be dead within hours because McDonald's is closed and they have no idea where food comes from.
Wow! A beer summit plus meadow muffins. Someone is one upping the President.
Wow, I think I loved that comment.
I am thinking "Kobe Beef". This is how the Japanese fatten up cattle for this delicacy.
They feed them beer and give them massage's.
hey ... I resemble this ....
and please!!! ... don't anyone tell Chik-Fil-A!!!
Oh this is just hilarious! I hope some cows crash my next party.
Not these cows! They're DEMON COWS! Look at the pic!
I think the cows were from Wisconsin.
I was just thinking that this probably happens in Wisconsin all the time.
Letusreason -
Maybe you should check the license plate of the truck they came in
I wonder if one was a designated MOOVER!
I don't care where they were from ----- cows from WI (or anywhere else!)
beat the ASSES in Washington!
I think they are jealous because Americans have become the cows and they want their name back!
Wow Zeke. Take a pill!!!!