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Courtesy of the Vento family
Xander Vento's family: "We in some way hope our son's life serves as an inspiration."
The parents of Xander Vento, a little boy who was forced under the water while saving another child at a neighborhood pool in Fort Worth, Texas, earlier this week, say they are taking their son off life support.
Cris and Misty Vento released the following statement Thursday:
"We’ve made the extremely difficult decision to remove our precious son Xander from life support. We send heartfelt thanks to all of you who kept our family in your thoughts and prayers; we’re appreciative of your love and support.
We in some way hope our son’s life serves as an inspiration. He was the angel in the pool who sacrificed himself to save another. And now he continues to give as an organ donor. We were blessed to have such a kind and caring boy as Xander who set an example for all of us and even now he will be saving lives by giving of himself."
Xander, 4, held a struggling 3-year-old girl above the water, and after becoming exhausted, slipped below the water’s surface, the Associated Press reported. He was found at the bottom of the pool. After Xander was pulled from the water, rescuers did get a pulse from him, the Dallas Morning News reported, but he was unable to breathe on his own before they loaded him into a helicopter.
Xander was hospitalized at Cook Children’s Medical center, where he fell into a coma. He had been on life support since Monday.
Adults were present at the pool during the incident, including an off-duty nurse who helped rescue the children, according to the Dallas Morning News. It wasn’t clear where the adults were when the incident happened.
The 3-year-old girl, whose name has not been released, apparently swallowed water but never lost consciousness.
A fund has been established in Xander's name to help the family with medical expenses. Anyone wishing to contribute can do so online at https://www.wepay.com/donations/145080.
NBC News
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Leave a Comment:
People are so quick to pull people off life support. The brain and body are much more remarkable than doctors will believe. But.. RIP little hero dude. o7
I agree with the sentiment, but I doubt they made this decision in a vacuum. They very likely consulted with neurologists and other doctors before making the decision.
What will be hard for them, on top of having made that decision are the "Monday morning quarterbacks" like you who call them out as having made the wrong decision.
This should never have happened. Where were the parents at while these kids were swimming? Not a single adult noticed the 3 year old struggling in the water???
Rest in peace little dude. You should still be alive today.
Wow,you're a critical care nurse too?!!
RIP Little guy ..
old man: apparently you haven't had any one on life support. This could go on for years. I am sure the parents of this young boy did NOT make the decision lightly.
RIP Xander.
I made this very decision with my 12 year old daughter 1,144 days ago. I can assure you it was not taken lightly.
From the CDC: In 2009, among children 1 to 4 years old who died from an unintentional injury, more than 30% died from drowning. From 2005-2009, there were an average of 3,533 fatal unintentional drownings (non-boating related) annually in the United States — about ten deaths per day.
If you have a pool, please fence it - and make sure the self closing gates work - and secure any access point to the pool. My sister's neighbor's toddler drowned after getting through the doggy door in the garage to the pool of another neighbor.
When kids are in a pool there has to be an adult watching at all times. By "all times", I mean an eye on the water at ALL times. Not reading a book, not getting a drink... Watching the pool.
A flotation device should be available too - a drowning victim often can injure ( or drown ) a person trying to help - especially in deep water. The mind and body do things when drowning that you might not expect. As is the case here - Xander helped and was forced under.
Xander is a hero, but he shouldn't have had to be.
That pool is small. How incompetent are the adults in charge there that they did "notice" the life struggle.
RIP little man! You can watch over us all now.
Not to mention so quick to judge...
I agree. What a bunch of negligent adults. There is no way that little boy should have died. I'm sure the little girl must have been screaming and attracted attention. Something doesn't add up. I knew a boy that drowned in a pool I was at when I was a kid, who could have been at the bottom of the pool for several minutes, I don't know how long. But, he was saved and was fine.
Disagreed, it cost a lot of money to keep someone on life support. I think we should allow the insurance companies to determine how much time someone has, based on lileyhood of survival, and most imporant, cost.
How dare you second guess this family's heartbreaking decision. It took as much courage and selflessness as thier son's actions. Just hope you don't have to make it yourself someday.
Truly sad. May God keep this little angel in heaven.
Chris let insurance companies make decisions for you, I for one respect the decision of my family.
rch101196,
What a low-life, horrible thing to say. Congratulations.
A common misconception about drowning is that there is a commotion. Drowning is generally silent.
From the US Coast Gaurd's Dr. Pia, in an article in the Coast Guard’s On Scene Magazine, described the instinctive drowning response like this ( in italics ):
Except in rare circumstances, drowning people are physiologically unable to call out for help. The respiratory system was designed for breathing. Speech is the secondary or overlaid function. Breathing must be fulfilled, before speech occurs.
There is no yelling.
Drowning people cannot wave for help. Nature instinctively forces them to extend their arms laterally and press down on the water’s surface. Pressing down on the surface of the water, permits drowning people to leverage their bodies so they can lift their mouths out of the water to breathe.
There is no waving or splashing.
Many factors go into survival - the amount of time that the brain is deprived of oxygen is the biggest.
Drowning happens quickly - constant attention is required.
We had a family friend who fell into a coma and went on life support. He was in his 70s and stated in his will that if he ever had to be on life support , he was to be unplugged. He was on life support for more than a month and the doctors said there was no hope. His wife refused to take him off and ignored his request in his will even against the doctors advice , then one day he awoke. He recovered as if nothing had ever happened and went on to outlive his wife. He passed away at about 95 years old.
It is shockingly easy to fail to notice a swimmer in distress, even if you are watching closely, if you are not trained in what signs to look for, as coyote-700794 describes. Mike-2580501's comment about quickness to judge applies equally to everyone here criticizing the adult supervision without knowing the specific details of the incident.
I have to wonder where the adults were while this little hero fought to save the little girl!! RIP little guy, you gave it your all!!
I was forced to make the same decision with my 16 year old. Unless you have been there, please do not criticize the parents for their decision. I waited 10 weeks. In that time, she woke up, seemed ok, and within a week, deteriorated daily. She was blind, paralyzed, unable to eat or swallow, flopped all over the bed like a fish out of water due to basil ganglia damage, could not talk, showed little recognition, and had no more control of bladder and bowels. This is the most horrific decision, but sometimes, the brain damage is too significant and you have to choose, based on expected quality of life. I relive that decision ever single day. Again, please do not pass judgement on these grieving parents! They now have a huge hole in their hearts.
Frighteningly this has happened to two people I know. One was on life support for few weeks, and his daughter was notified that he would not recover, and she signed papers agreeing to unplug him. Only days later he woke up and eventually fully recovered. A high school friend of mine was in a coma following a car accident and her parents were informed by doctors that she was brain dead. My parents were called, everyone was crying. And guess what, she woke up, made a full recovery. Is now married. These two examples are enough reasons why I will always need multiple medical opinions before making such a decision. Can't always trust doctors.
I, too, question why adult supervision was so lacking. Another takeaway from this, though - and I would never expect a 4-year old to know this - is that one of the most fundamental principles of livesaving is that you get into the water and come into contact with the victim only as an absolute last resort. Throw a life preserver or a bouy,reach out with a rope, hook or a stick or whatever, but a victim in a panic is a very dangerous threat to both parties, as we sadly learned here.
"Drowning happens quickly - constant attention is required."
Exactly, a 3 year old and no one was watching! All my kids knows how to swim. But it doesn't mean I can just take my eyes off of them when they are in the water. There are adults to be blame here for negligence, if not stupidity.
Chris, the last people I would trust to help me make a decision about life support is the insurance industry. Four years ago, a nurse, who never met my mother, said she should not get pt or ot after a stroke because she had (erroneously diagnosed, per the doctors) dementia. She wasn't on life support, but we had to fight to get our mother the help she needed.
This is a very difficult decision that the family had to make. However, according to this article, they have donated his organs. In a sense, this heroic boy will continue to live on by enabling others to continue to live. Condolences to his family and may they be comforted by their decision to allow him to live on by helping others after his death.
Just a few things......
To all of the parents who have had to make such a gut-wrenching decision, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope you can get some kind of closure. To those who say that it is hard to notice someone who is in trouble and drowning, I humbly beg to differ. My wife, son and I were at a pool at a theme park a few years ago. My son was about 7, and he was a decent swimmer for his age. He was playing in the pool, no problems. Two other boys came into the pool area, dropped their towels and flip-flops, came running towards the pool and jumped in. The parent(?) was not watching them, too busy getting her towel laid out on the lounge chair and putting on sun tan lotion. I was at the deep end in the water, having just "raced" my son to the wall. When the one boy hit the water, he went under of course, and I thought nothing of it. But, when he surfaced, his eyes were as big as dinner plates. I knew right away he was in trouble. He went under again before I could reach him. I went under, grabbed him by the arm and pulled him up. He was starting to panic and I was able to get him to the side of the pool near the ladder. He was about in tears, got out and went over and sat in a chair next to his Mom (I assume). She never batted an eye, or looked up from her book. Would he have drowned if I had not seen the look on his face? Maybe, maybe not. Point is, you do not have to be a trained professional to notice some one is in trouble. The "adults" in the above article at the pool in question dropped the ball and cost this little boy his life. Godspeed Xander. You can teach a lot of us about being human.
I'm not judging the parents. I wasn't there. But, I will tell you two things.
One, there is no way in he!! I would give up on my kid in a coma within 5 days. That's just messed up. Who could do that? I would fight for him or her with every ounce of my being and every single dollar I could borrow. Money would become meaningless to me.
Two, I wouldn't be at any body of water anywhere, EVER, with a 3 or 4 yr old and not have my eyes locked on them at all times. I don't care what anybody has to say about it. If you are not in the water with them, which you should be, then how neglectful can you be to not notice ANY sign of trouble.
I'm sorry this happened. Really I am. I feel bad for all involved. But, this is an example of what parenting 101 is all about. Don't take your eyes off them when in ANY body of water and don't give up on them without exhausting all options and all opinions. If money is or was your issue when deciding whether or not to end your kids life then you are f'd up in the head and probably should have never had children in the first place.
Just my humble opinion. Everybody has one I know. I'm so sorry this happened. What an awesome kid and he earned my honor and respect. I will be donating to this cause for the family. Also happy to know the little girl is ok. Lucky little lass that boy had the awareness to act. Inspiring.
I had to make the decision just 6 moths ago for my father. I know its not the same a young child, but the decision was weighed very carefully with the quality of life that I could expect for years to come. In the end a dark vegetative state is no life at all. Six months after I still struggle with the question "did I do the right thing" even though countless experts and other family members have told me I did. My point is this little guys parents will always second guess themselves and I don't wish that on others. Having people who do not know them or the love they have in their hearts for their son criticize their decision no matter how passive aggressively you did it, is just night right. Look into your heart and mind and see the sacrifice they are making to let their son rest-in Peace and donating his organs to people who will have an improved quality of life. God bless this brave little hero and all the relatives and friends who morn his loss.
Not going into the life support debate, lot of factors there, eitherway have to respect what the parents did I'm sure there were good reason and give them benefit of doubt. As to him getting in that situation in the first place, what the hell where the other adults there doing (Unfortunately that may or may not include the parents)? Can't get to angry yet as its clear there are more details but sounds like there was a group of real winners there present. Apparently the only adult in the group was this 4 yr old kid. Very sad, never should've happened.
RIP little man. Even though he was only 4 he put himself before another. Self sacrifice, sad that he is gone, but very honorable way to go. He is a hero and will continue to be since his organs will be donated. Condolences to his family.
It is time
Jean2010: It's not always a matter of trusting doctors. They base their medical opinions on experiences with other patients and on research that has been done. But sometimes, despite the horrible odds, people do recover.
Old Man Selmers
People are so quick to pull people off life support.
--------------------------------
that is completely out of line..... you don't know what you are talking about, you aren't there, you don't know how many things have been tried in the last five days and the clinical situation.....
but most of all, you clearly don't know what the decision process was and how ridiculous and painful it is to have a child on extended life support with no hope of recovery... azzhat
It seems the only kind of comment that is appropriate here is one of sympathy and well wishes for the family left behind. God speed. Hopefully you will ignore all the comments questioning your decisions and your responsibility. Accidents and tragic events happen so fast. You are not responsible for them. Don't torture yourselves for this. You will always have your beautiful memories of Xander and one day you will see him again. He would want you to live your lives in love and not in pain. Focus on the good and refuse to let the negative and evil thoughts have power in your lives. God bless.
I am not going to get into a debate about when to end life support, it is a difficult decision and until you are in a position to have to make it you can not understand what it is like to have to make that call.
What is unacceptable is that you had two children this age in a pool and there was not a single adult keeping an eye on them. I do not mean sitting by the pool having a drink with friends while the kids play or reading a book, I mean actively keeping an eye on the kids. There is no way I would ever allow a child that age anywhere near the water and not constantly watch them or preferably be in the water with them. My heart goes out the to the parents, I can not imagine what it would be like to lose a child, but this is a tragedy that did not need to happen. All it would have taken to prevent this was if the parents of one of the children involved had cared enough about their kids to keep a watch on them when they let them go into the pool.
Anoxic encephalopathy - brain injury due to no oxygen to the brain. That's the drowning victim's injury. Often people envision life support as someone lying in a bed peacefully with a few monitors keeping a nice pace. It's not that. It's constant seizures, it's so many machines and nurses and doctors, it's so many things. But mostly, it's your kid, and it's traumatic and it's the most difficult thing you will ever do.
So, a lot goes into the decision - my daughter Megan was without oxygen for a long time - we stopped support and she died. I am comfortable with our decision. The decision was my wife and mine alone - as it was for these parents. I hope that these parents can find peace with their decision.
RIP, hero angel.
Parents, please put your babies in swimming classes as early as possible. Pool covers and fences also help but do not replace the ability to swim, thread water, for a few minutes for help to arrive.
crymeariver-
I agree, if you are as close as you should be to your child, you can definitely tell if they are in trouble. When my daughter was little, I got in the pool, but she refused to get in and instead wanted to sit on the side and dangle her feet. I was standing arm's length from her because she was kicking and splashing, with my eyes on her. She decided to jump in and in the blink of an eye she was in the water. Of course, I was right there and grabbed her, but not before she went under, even with floaties on. The look on her face will haunt me forever. All within a split second, her eyes got huge and rolled back in her head. At that point, she hadn't even inhaled water because when her body hit, the water was cold enough she held her breath for a split second which was all it took for me to get her out. Just goes to show that things can happen even when you are right there. It doesn't pay to not watch your kids like a hawk, particularly around water. My son is 19 and when we go to the beach, he is still always in my sight.
Anyone who thinks people will flail around and scream for help doesn't understand how drowning works and hasn't seen people drowning. When my kids and husband are in the pool my eyes are on them in sweeps, and that goes for the others around me as well. I've seen kids take lungfuls of water and just sink with no struggle, and it looks as if they are just going under water. Do you seriously, if you think about it, believe that a person with lungs full or partially full of water can scream? You ever gotten choked on something or strangled when you swallow water wrong? Were you able to scream for help?
That said, if you are at a pool or any body of water, sweep your eyes around and watch what's going on, and please keep your eyes on swimmers. I swim a mile of laps at a time, but that doesn't mean I haven't breathed funny and had a coughing fit to clear it or that I haven't had a cramp...and those who aren't strong swimmers and don't know they aren't take risks sometimes. Hey, even strong swimmers drown. I see parents leave their kids and walk off to get in the sauna, but even though there is a lifeguard I'm not taking my eyes off my family.
I'm so sorry for the loss the family is suffering, and anyone who judges their decision is clueless. They were there and they knew the situation better than any of us. So once in awhile someone wakes back up? Lots of times...most of the time...they don't wake up, and the parents and doctors know more than we do.
On a side note, I used to work in a hospital in Respiratory Therapy, and I can tell you that the real problem wasn't family who turned off life support, but instead the families who just couldn't let go of people who were obviously gone. I totally understand why and am not judging, but I saw people lie there for months while family avoided the truth, and it was very sad for all concerned. I didn't see families run around trying to get the machines turned off...it was the other way around. I wish peace for the boy, the girl, and the families.
All of you people that are giving excuses for why the struggling children went undetected are forgetting one very important thing, this was a 3 and 4 year old in a pool with water over their heads. You never take your eyes off small children in a pool. If you need a potty break or a drink, you get the kids out and away from the water. This is a tragedy that could have been avoided. I do, however, have to give the parents credit for raising a brave and selfless child. There are many adults that would have panicked in that situation, but this 4 year old knew what had to be done.
Children never fail to show the best in US.
RIP little angel - your parents are so lucky to have you even for four years.
oldman,the decision to remove someone from life support is a difficult and painful one and something you obviously have not experienced. Three years ago my mother suffered a major stroke and was bleeding in her brain. She was sent to a major hospital in Boston for surgery. After the surgeon there examined her and ran some tests he told my brother and I that he could not operate because she was bleeding into her brain stem and surgery would not save her. There are certain criteria doctors have for declaring someone brain dead,certain tests they perform. My mother failed to respond in any way. The doctor said she had suffered major brain loss and would not get it back. Though she didn't have a living will my mother was terrified of becoming unable to function mentally. She had suffered a small stroke three years earlier and was sent to a nursing home/rehab center for physical therapy. While she was there she saw other women who were unable to communicate and basically sat in a wheelchair with their heads hanging down. She told me over and over that she never wanted to be like that and end up in a home and I swore to her that I would never do that to her. Once the surgeon told my brother and I that there was no hope of recovery for her,we agreed to take her off life support and allow her to pass away. She died an hour later. As much as we miss her my brother and I have never regretted that decision. She did not have to languish in a home unable to walk or talk. She is at peace and with my father and sister and I find great comfort in that. I have great sympathy for the Vento family and offer them my sincere condolences. Xander was indeed a hero. And coyote,my deepest sympathies to you on the loss of your daughter Megan. God bless all of you.
I feel like someone should be charged with negligence. It is not that hard to notice someone struggling in the water. At that age, they shouldn't even be in the water without an adult with them. And there had to have been some commotion when boy was holding girl up- who was probably at least coughing up water and splashing.
I could have gone the rest of my life without knowing that this precious little boy had died. Thank you for making a grown man cry. The parents who were not watching should be the dead idiots at the bottom of the pool. 3 and 4 year-olds. Watch your children you fat, lazy, selfish slobs. That's right. I said it. No pity for the adults
@ Old man selmers:
People are so quick to pull people off life support. The brain and body are much more remarkable than doctors will believe.
==============
I am sure these parents would have liked to wait a little longer with the hope their child would recover, but sometimes reality bites. And that reality comes in the form of an insurance company. Generally, the insurance covers only so much or so long, whichever comes first. After that, the family is (financially) on their own! I don't know what kind of financial status this family has, but many times in this kind of situation, people has to put their grief aside and come to terms with reality and make a quick decision.
My.2.Cents.Worth,
How is an accident not someones fault when obvious neglect was the cause? It's simple, accident or not, eyes on kid, opportunity to save drowning kid. Adult watches kid, adult acts when there is trouble. When you don't watch kid, they get hurt or die, not accident! It's neglect, stupidity, ignorance, and shameful to all of the adults there that day. A child died because adults failed. No accident!
So, the next time you want to cut down the people commenting, in a COMMENT forum, belittle everyone with your selfish god plug, remember that a child's life was lost. Thanks for making everyone feel like sh!!. But, praise god right?
chris150 + obamacare= deathpanels
Wow a record young angel..The little guy is more than a hero !
Also, again I have to say that if money is what dictates your decision to put your kid down, then shame on you. Just goes to remind us that money is more important than human life.
I'm sorry but that kids life is worth more than any money, debt, or financial hardships. Shame on you people. You make me sick when people actually think and talk like that. "Well, we had to pull the plug on my kid because it wasn't financially feasible". Seriously. Are you kidding? Ugh, disgusting.
chartsweb,
You know, if you really believe that, then I'm sorry. I'm sorry you have to walk the earth with that state of comprehension of the world,. Lol, stupid stupid stoooooopid comment. No candidate wants to kill people. Please don't vote because it's a false vote like most of them.
I'm in agreement with all who are saying these kids apparently weren't being watched closely enough. Such a sad loss. We don't know all of the facts, but it doesn't look good from this perspective for sure.
I would like to add that the swimming pool area looks like an accident waiting to happen. There are very few places for parents to place their chair/lounge where they would be able to see the entire pool, thanks to the fancy bridge things and the fact that the pool is way over in the corner of the area. This seems like negligent design to me.
To all of the people who are blaming the adults, it really only takes a couple of seconds to look away and a child can drown. I am in no way making excuses - they might have all been partying and not paying a bit of attenion. But we weren't there, and we really don't know what happened. Maybe the adults' attention had been distracted by another of the kids in the pool - you know how that can happen - for just a couple of seconds and when they looked back, it was all over. As many have mentioned, there isn't a big commotion with lots of screaming and splashing when someone drowns. They might just go under and not come back up. Especially when there are lots of other kids in the pool all splashing around. It is very easy to judge, but I'll bet not one of you can say you've never been distracted when you were watching your children. Luckily, most often the result is harmless, but every now and then it is fatal. These parents (or adults who were supervising) are always going to have to live with this guilt.
Of course an adult should have been watching the children but you don't think the parents of the three year old already feel like @#%$. I wonder why an adult wasn't in the pool with the three year old. But the parents are dealing with enough, they don't need judgemental a@@es telling them what they already know.
These loving parents made a choice none of us want to ever face. It's not our place to second guess their decision. I stand with their decision because THEY were in the hospital, with their son, with the doctors and the experts, all of whom wanted to save this little boy. They had to make a choice and they need no piling of guild on them because they have plenty of their own to live with the rest of their lives.
For those who want to claim that the adults were not attentive enough... Put yourselves in their shoes, would you want people telling you that?.. No... Would you even listen?.. Not likely... Do we all make mistakes we later regret?.. You bet we do... What ever mistakes they made, they did not deserve to loose their son.
What this family needs now is each other, for them to stay together... For those of you who want to do the "after the fact" judgment calls, to please stow it away. You're not helping at all.
Ian -
The article did state that the girl was struggling, so yes, you would think someone would have noticed. I would have instantly noticed the fact that a three and four year old were in the pool with water over their heads without a parent holding them, or at least in the pool with them. At that age, my children wore floaties or life vests and even then, I held them or was at the very least in the pool within arm's reach of them because those devices don't really prevent children from drowning, they are just aides. It is easy for a child to become upended even though they are still "on top of the water". It amazes me how many times I have had to keep an eye on a young child because their parents are no where in sight and even though I don't know them, I cannot in good conscience walk away and leave that child unattended. I understand that we really don't have all the facts, so it may be unfair to jump to conclusions at this point. I sincerely hope that we are all wrong and that the parents were nearby and for some unknown reason were unable to prevent this tragedy. It is so sad that a child who showed more responsibilty and selflessness than most adults had to lose his life. The world has lost another good soul.
1.13
If god saw fit to "call this little angel home" do you think god would have a change of attitude like a fishing limit "oops, too little" and toss him back.
If there is a god, how about "I'm so glad that god is welcoming this child into heaven."
Heaven has another star. God bless you...Xander.
But no words can express the depth of this tragedy.
believe me, they knew the child was dead before they took him off life support. we did the same with my aunt and you could tell the minute she died even if the machine was keeping her body going, and the doctors can tell when they are brain dead. the first couple of days she would tear up if we talked to her and she had color and other things that let us know she was still there but when she was gone she looked totally different, she looked dead, stiff, color gone. her body started to change. the doctors confirmed it and few days later we took her off. if we would have had even an iota of hope that she was still there, we would have never took her off the life support. we still miss her terribly. Xander is a hero. hopefully his family can find some peace in that. God bless them all. you can't judge anybody's circumstance especially if you weren't even there.
Sally Lu - How many people drown in a couple of seconds? Most emergency personnel and medical professionals agree that four minutes is the real time limit.
Of course negligent people will try to minimize their ineptitude by stating it was only "seconds".
Matthew
Nor do they need judgemental a@@es telling them it is alright.
These stories are heart wrenching 8(
R.I.P little guy
Gwad! How heart wrenching! What a great and beautiful little boy! Parents, Your grief has to be immeasurable. I cannot share it with you , but I can hurt along with you, and I do. Sorry doesn't get it, but I do not know anything else to say. I am so sorry.
All I can say sometimes thing happen and you could be right there and it could happen so swift....my prayers goes out to the family. May the child rest in his grave as he awaits a resurrection to life again as he fell asleep in death.....
"Adults were present at the pool during the incident... It wasn't clear where the adults were when the incident happened."
I'll tell you what IS clear: the adults WEREN'T where they were keeping an eye on the children in the water!!! I don't care what any of the other circumstances were; that one is too in-your-face, and as a mother, there is absolutely NO excuse for that.
If you would not let your 3 and 4 year old alone in a bathtub for a bath(about 2-6 inches of water)? Why would you let them alone in a swimming pool(feet of water). If the 4 year old had enough time to see what was happening and do something about it, so would the parent of that 3 year old, IF she/he was swimming with their kid.
If you had the time to make the kid in the first place, you should MAKE the time to raise them and take care of them.
There is enough death and suffering in this world, we can do without needless or senseless deaths.
I really hope charges are brought the parents of both kids. If you do not have the time or the intelligence to watch and raise your kids. Please give them up to those who would.
God bless his beautiful spirit.
Sally Lu is correct- it can happen so fast it makes your head spin. My 3-year-old son almost drowned while I was in the pool with him, no more than probably 5 feet away. How? My younger daughter, also in the pool, got something in her eye and started shrieking bloody murder. I turned to her and got whatever it was out of her eye. Both kids were using floaties. Anyway, while my attention was turned to daughter, my son floated behind me and somehow got flipped over, upside down, in one of those floatie rings, and was unable to flip himself back over. When I turned back and saw him, I grabbed him out of the water, and he was not breathing. As others have said, I will never forget how his eyes looked, huge, staring, and unresponsive. I slapped him on the back hard, until he coughed up water and took a huge, gasping breath, and I dragged both kids out of the water. The whole incident could not have taken more than 20 seconds. There was no sound. We were in 3 feet of water. I just never realized it could happen so quickly. THAT's why they tell you never to leave your kids alone in the water, even for a minute, even in the bathtub or a little kiddie pool. 20 seconds. That was the day our little inflatable kiddie pool came down forever.
My heart breaks for the family of the little boy. We don't know why no one saw what happened. For their sake, I hope that it was because of some freak thing that attracted the adults' attention, because even that would be hard enough to live with.
God bless blah blah. The kid is dead.
If your going to praise god for all the good things, and, he has a "master" plan, then you need to thank and praise him for the bad to. Keep it consistent instead of the bubble gum and fairy version.
If you really believe the god crap then why are you so sad and afraid of death? Wouldn't you embrace it? Hey, you finally get to join your precious dandy god. No? Oh. Because deep down you know it's crap. Keep it for church, not everyone hear believes in that stuff so keep it to yourself. It's obnoxious and selfish.
I know, I'm a jerk for saying it but seriously, an "I'm sorry" is not enough? Gotta throw out the christian plug you selfish idiots. Ugh. Can't stand that.
May the devil bless you. Oh, what, you don't like that. Sorry, I just assumed that we all praised the devil here. I will worship and pray to the devil for you in hopes that you see the dark. See where I'm going? It's disrespectful.
How arrogant to assume that everyone is christian in the world. Especially in this country which is made up of many cultures and religions. Stop doing that. Enough with the jesus and god plugs. You guys are shameless. Sell that crap to people that want it. Don't throw it in peoples faces like spit. Your well wishes turn into religious plugs for your cult. Have the decency to just keep it universal. It shows a lot more character.
Thank you, Coyote and Comment- for sharing your stories. I feel terrible for the loss of your respective daughters. No doubt they were beautiful children.
Nailed it, JS in SD. My parents and my siblings went through this agonizing nightmare when my seventeen year old sister was killed by a stinking drunk driving bum several years ago. My parents went through holy hell for the next five years after her death with court appearances, litigation, counseling, etc. - so much so that they have never fully recovered from all of it. I'm glad, though -they refused to donate my sister's organs.
NO ONE has a right to make judgements on any family being confronted with THAT situation.
I've seen posts attacking the parents. I'll wait until MORE facts come out to make a final judgement. Guess what folks: NONE of us were there! You dolts don't think this young boy's parents are train wrecks already?
I've also read posts commenting about "crappy journalism" from NBC. Really? The reporters and the writers of this article are going by information that is available at the TIME OF POLICE REPORT release - they may report more details of where the parents were later.
And I've also read posts about how important it is to teach your kids to swim and/or enroll him/her in swimming classes. Bravo to these posters. My wife and I enrolled our son in swimming safety classes when he was a tot (and he's eight now) and believe me when I say this: that EIGHT HUNDRED BUCKS we forked over was MONEY WELL SPENT!
When I was 16, I had a seizure in a swimming pool. All I could do as I slipped under the water, losing consciousness, was tremble violently. With other people in the pool, there was a lot of noise, so if I could have even yelled for help, it's unlikely it would have been heard. Plus, there were always people swimming near the bottom of the pool, underneath other swimmers. I had done it myself many times before.
Had it not been for a 9-year-old boy screaming for his 14-year-old brother to come help him get me out, I would have drowned. I was truly thankful for those two young heroes. I still am, to this day.
RIP, little hero.
Yeah, most people with children have a $1000 bucks to enroll there kid or kids in a swimming class.
The realistic thing to do is be vigilant. Teach them as tots the doggy paddle to start. That's what my parents did. They, like most struggling parents, didn't have money to enroll me in swimming classes. We had to have food and clothes and stuff. Internet is cheaper than the $1000 dollar class that the suburban big spenders got so maybe go online and research swimming techniques to teach children and do it yourself. That's what interactive and creative parents do. Plus, it will save you $950 bucks.
Re: Chris150, what the hell is wrong with you ??? I am guessing you said what you did to get peoples goats,but if not you have to be the biggest piece of crap on the planet. Money should NEVER have a say so in one of Gods children's life. This type of tragedy happens everyday and EVERY single one of them is 100% preventable. YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE A CHILD BY THE WATER UNLESS YOU ARE STARING RIGHT AT THEM EVERY SECOND !!! Thant means,no texting,no computers,no reading the newspaper,,NO NOTHING but watching your little kids period !!!! I just can not even think about what those 2 little kids were thinking when they were in trouble and there was not ONE mommy or daddy around to help them. Every time I hear of a child drowning in makes me sick to my stomach and breaks my heart. God please take care of our little hero and the poor little girl he tried to save.
Voted McCain,
It's funny how you rip on someone, tell people what to do, make people feel guilty, and then add a god plug at the end to display "moral high ground" all while having a picture of a chic in a bikini. Typical republican. Two faced hypocrite closet freak, lol.
Sorry to any traditional repubs with integrity. I know you are not all like this. Just a lot of them.
Disappointed and ashamed ??? I totally understand why you feel that way about yourself. Judging from your posting about me I would guess that your not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Don't be so hard on yourself,they have classes you can take to help you get your GED.Who knows,if you really keep your nose to the grindstone and give it your all you could get that IQ of yours up to 65. I would respond directly to your comments you made but they are so far out and @!$%# stupid I am just going to pass. Oh by the way nitwit,I am not a Republican !
What is horrific and tragic about this is a 3 and 4 year old, in a pool, without (I'm assuming) flotation devices and either complete moron's for parents or watcher's who certainly should have had their eyes on the toddlers at all times. There is no excuse for this. Somebody should be charged with negligence.
What a shame. What a waste.
Voted McCain,
So? Do you have a point or ah....you just plan on ripping on me like you did other people mister angry man?
dissappointed and ashamed--God bless blah blah...If you really believe the god crap...May the devil bless you
You know, if you really believe that, then I'm sorry. I'm sorry you have to walk the earth with that state of comprehension of the world,. Lol, stupid stupid stoooooopid comment
eat your words
The decision to do it was probably the longest and most difficult choice this family will ever make in their lives. Don't belittle it by claiming they were too hasty.
I'm sure, as stated earlier, that drowning is difficult to detect and perhaps maybe silent. But the four year old boy noticed that the three year old was in distress. I find it hard to believe that adults would not also come to the same conclusion if they were paying attention.
My thoughts are with the family left behind by this young hero, who now is going on to help even more with organ donation. What a neat thing to have adults be inspired by a four year old child. I know I have been.
dissapointed and ashamed---
the angel is in heaven with his father.
everyone please pray for dissappointed and ashamed. he is the one in need.
Disappointed & Ashamed!!!! It looks like you gave yourself that name to coincide with your opinions. I completely disagree with your way of thinking. You were not there at this pool on the day that Xander drowned. You do not know the circumstances that took place that led to the drowning going undetected by the adults present at the pool. You are making a quick judgement to ASSUME that if no adult stopped this drowning then the adults are guilty of the death of this child. You are not in charge. You are just a big bully. Your opinion is useless.
My heart goes out to this family. Such a hard thing to go through.
I am so grateful to see that through this tragedy they decided to donate his organs. It's such an important and valuable thing, but still hard (especially with your young child).
Adults the world over can learn a lot from this small boy. He's more of a man then most men.
What an angel! My heart breaks for this family and for all those who love Xander. You're a true hero, Precious Angel! Thank you for being such a selfless one at that. Utterly heartbreaking.
What a great and precious little human being!
The best of us.
RIP hero!
Condolences to Xander's parents, loved ones, and friends. Such a tragic situation. Xander, at age 4, to try to save the other child is simply amazing.
God rest your soul little Hero!
It takes time to drown. It was a public pool and adults were present. Okay. Where the HELL were they, drinking???????????????
What an example for the rest of us. Really sorry for the parents and this young hero. May G-D keep you always little man!
bravo to the boy...but ur right...if u look at the pic of the pool above....all the chairs are on the one side with the "bridge"...and 3 chairs for all the rest of the main pool area...i have kids of my own older then 3 and 4 and i still keep an eye on them in places such as this...for the simple fact that "anything can happen"....*sigh*
This is from someone else in this conversation.
"
Amy Munn Galley
I am sickened when I read all of these comments. This was my best friend's son that died while saving that little girl. She has 2 other children and one of them is autistic. She only looked away for a minute to attend one of her other children. Think about how long it takes you to look in a bag for sunscreen, pull it out, put it on your hands and rub it all over your other child. That is how long it takes for a child to drown. It can happen in seconds. I am so grief stricken over this whole incident. This was an accident, pure and simple. I hope none of you that are criticizing ever have your child break a limb, fall and get a bruise, or worse lose their life because you were not watching every second of their life. Please take a moment to say a prayer for this family and their loss."
So sad,
Ugh. This pains me to say this, but, if you can't handle having two kids at the pool at the same time, especially one that has special needs, then don't go. I'm sorry, you can't expect others to watch your kids. I have family that does that. Just assumes others are watching the kids. It is selfish and irresponsible. Can't sacrifice practical safety while "entertaining" the kids so you can relax or whatever.
I know having 2 or more kids is a juggling act for sure. So, maybe not a good idea to put them in a body of water while trying to do so. The mother was distracted for whatever reason from job number one. The kids safety. I wish well for them. Praying is for children, like fairy tails and mother goose rhymes.
Actually drowning is often a silent death. It is not like on tv where people thrash around in the water and scream. You can drown and look completely fine in the water. It sounds unbelievable but I was recently doing some research on drowning (don't ask!) and learned a lot.
So it's completely possible that no one even knew this was happening until too late. How horrible and my heart goes out to this little hero's family.
NickiDrea,
it says in the article that the boy noticed the girl struggling to stay above water. A 4 yr old noticed, let me repeat that, A 4 YEAR OLD CHILD noticed and acted. What's the excuse for the several adults that were there with their kids?
Actually, now that I think of it, how does anyone really know how it happened if they didn't see it? And, if it was only a few seconds then why is he dead? people can inhale water and survive. It happens a lot actually. Usually after some CPR they cough up some water and walk away.
The bottom line is enough kids have drowned in buckets, tubs, and pools that if you as a parent don't know any better then you're an idiot. Sorry, had to be said. A child died. Can't feel sorry when the obvious is right there in front of us.
Seriously, what an angel of a child! The little girl's family was truly blessed by the sacrifice of this innocent child. The biggest question that continues to haunt me is this: what kind of idiots would leave a 3 year old and 4 year old alone in a swimming pool. I agree with the previous comments...it takes time to drown and usually consists of yelling, splashing, etc. Where the hell were the parents? Are they being investigated for neglect??? If not, they damn well should be! This is a tragedy that could have been avoided if a caring and attentive parent had been present. Makes me sick in my heart.
This just goes to show you that there is still hope for man kind. I am going to get on my knees tonight and pray for this young boy and I hope you guys pray for him and this country also.
My hero.. Words cannot express how touched I am for his heroics.
pburgrunner,
you lost me at pray. Why not just wish a lot. You will get the same exact results. 50/50.
Yeah, that hope gets lost when most of humanity still believes in magic, fairy tales, flying people, sky people, talking snakes, magic rocks, talking burning bushes, voices in the sky, parting water, moving mountains, walking on water, turning water into wine, walking dead, floating and glowing people, devil with tail and pitchfork, fire lakes, and a master planner that listens to people pray for Iphones and a Mercedes and changes the master plan to help someone you prayed for because you cared about them for ten seconds. Thanks for the prayer. Why don't you just pray for world peace because there's a chance for that too.
Grow up. We are a long way from hope for humanity. As long as financial gain or wealth is more important than human life and internet and cable are more important than quality food and clothes for the kids, we will be in the same old "god" made cesspool we have always been in. Keep praying though, that will fix everything. Put it in "gods" hands because he has been relevant so far. Ugh.
One question, why didn't these kids have life jackets or floaties on them if the pool was that deep and they can't swim? Be responsible!!
Disapointed and Ashamed you should be. This is not the time ot place to knock what other people believe.You don't have a higher power, cool just shut up and go away.
I have a crazy idea, how about watching your children you morons! The real tragedy here is the lack of responsibility from two sets of parents...disgusting! Some people should not be allowed to pro-create, can you say child neglect.
R.I.P. little Angel, so sad your life was so short.
I have a crazy idea, how about watching your children you morons! The real tragedy here is the lack of responsibility from two sets of parents...disgusting! Some people should not be allowed to pro-create, can you say child neglect.
R.I.P. little Angel, so sad your life was so short.
"Disappointed and ashamed" I am of you. What is the mentality of a person, who should be applauding the actions of a child; yet instead takes twisted liberty to play Ms. O'Hare to attempt to debunk prayer. Some of you people are living proof that there is a God. You folks would embarrass the devil!! He's not even that much of a moron. Quit harpen on God and prayer...you're like an ant trying to get in His face anyway...laughable.
Stick to the real story...it's the child's sacrifice.
Mo,
truth hurt?
This is a public comment forum on a news story page. I'm commenting. This is the place for comments. So, I am making comments. Who are you to tell me anything? No one. Shut up and mind your business.
You know, I wouldn't knock it if it wasn't thrust into the forum. I didn't bring it up. I'm just saying have some courtesy, not everyone believes in that stuff. I don't think it's polite to assume that everyone prays and believes in fairy tales but people assume on here all the time. So, my point is to keep that crap to yourself. It's rude and selfish. Sorry you don't agree. Tell me where I'm wrong.
Diane,
do you read? I have a point and you just don't like it. So, blow it out your azz.
You suck because you think spreading religious cult plugs is ok in public and I don't think it is. I think intelligent people that really care about the country we live in and the diversity of the people would have a thing called tact and keep it universal.
What if the family is muslim and you and your church cronies are spouting christian views. Think, you stupid twit. But no, you and your church cronies don't care about what other people think because you are blind brainwashed christian spooks on pedestals looking down on everyone else. But hey, what do I know. I'm not "enlightened", "haven't seen the light", and haven't "listened to jesus".
Go really save someone instead of "saving" people by getting them to believe the same crazy stuff you do, go to your institution of brainwashing and giving money to the cause of brainwashing more people.
Why wasn't there an adult watching ?
Dissapointed and Ashamed,
I don't consider myself overly religious but you plugging your disbelief in christianity is a taller soap box than any chritian has discussed thus far. You say "internet and cable are more important than quality food and clothes for the kids" as you post on the INTERNET. Why don't you do humanity a favor and cancel your service. You could donate that money for food and clothes.
Dis and ashamed...This is not the place for your hatred to Christians. As an agnostic, you are an embarrassment.Be quiet. You might learn something
Meazuron,
couldn't have said it better. Such a tragic situation
mezuron,
Listen, I respect your thoughts and I definitely got a bit out of hand. But, I have to disagree on a few of your points.
Do you read any "praise Allahs"? No right. My thought is that subjects as personal and sensitive as religion and death should not automatically be a religion pitching free for all. I know that the christian machine keeps flowing freely but I don't feel like it's right to just sit back and let it happen without creating the awareness that it offends.
I suppose I am approaching it the wrong way. Maybe a bit intense and confrontational. Can't someone just say "i'm sorry" or "well wishes" without going to "gods and angels"? It isolates people. I think it's selfish. I know everyone has different opinions and obviously mine isn't popular.
Also, it isn't an accident when a child drowns with the parents present. It's not intentional of course but it was preventable. It is tremendously sad. I have a heart. It makes me sick when I replay that scenario over and over in my mind. I can't imagine what those kids were thinking while struggling, looking for the parents help. Ugh, brutal what life dishes sometimes.
Can I ask, why insult me and my life? I comment on these forums every once in awhile. This was a vacation day for me. We have had thunder showers and heavy rain all day. It's an indoor day. I'm 38. I work hard. First day off in awhile. I really don't get off on hurting peoples feelings. I have had these discussions before and I get hostility like I'm trying to take away drugs from a drug addict, lol. I guess I'm the one getting up in arms today. Not a good way to present an argument huh?
Even with the insults, I still appreciate your thoughts. I should shut up myself for the day.
Also, for the record.
Mo wrote, Disapointed and Ashamed you should be. This is not the time ot place to knock what other people believe.You don't have a higher power, cool just shut up and go away.
Then Diane wrote, "Disappointed and ashamed" I am of you. What is the mentality of a person, who should be applauding the actions of a child; yet instead takes twisted liberty to play Ms. O'Hare to attempt to debunk prayer. Some of you people are living proof that there is a God. You folks would embarrass the devil!! He's not even that much of a moron. Quit harpen on God and prayer...you're like an ant trying to get in His face anyway...laughable
sgra wrote, Dissapointed and Ashamed, I don't consider myself overly religious but you plugging your disbelief in christianity is a taller soap box than any chritian has discussed thus far. You say "internet and cable are more important than quality food and clothes for the kids" as you post on the INTERNET. Why don't you do humanity a favor and cancel your service. You could donate that money for food and clothes.
Then cmach wrote, Dis and ashamed...This is not the place for your hatred to Christians. As an agnostic, you are an embarrassment.Be quiet. You might learn something
So, it isn't like I'm on here spouting hatred. I'm getting angry responses which fuel the fire. I'm just writing opinions not attacking people personally. The personal attacks came from them. I thought it was relevant.
Now you're a poor little victim of the mean responders? Wow you are a loser. You just don't know when shut up. Unfortunately trolls like you feed on these cowardly comments. Whether you slam me back for my comments or not, I guarentee you'd would keep you mouth closed if we were face to face. What else do you do for fun, go to funerals and talk trash about the dead?
CPT America wrote, Now you're a poor little victim of the mean responders? Wow you are a loser. You just don't know when shut up. Unfortunately trolls like you feed on these cowardly comments. Whether you slam me back for my comments or not, I guarentee you'd would keep you mouth closed if we were face to face. What else do you do for fun, go to funerals and talk trash about the dead?
Who is the loser? Are you for real? Tough guy. Well, I bet you are wrong about that because, I'm a tough guy too. You can't guarantee something you don't know. Want to know what I think? I think someone who tries to intimidate people with the tough guy act is a scared little boy, boy. Way to keep it intellectual.
Is this REALY how you spend vacation days dude? Should def find a new hobby...
dissappointed and ashamed--God bless blah blah...If you really believe the god crap...May the devil bless you
You know, if you really believe that, then I'm sorry. I'm sorry you have to walk the earth with that state of comprehension of the world,. Lol, stupid stupid stoooooopid comment
eat your words
You heard it here first..... dissapointed and ashamed does NOT believe in God, so NO ONE else can either! We all need to remember this because his/her/its opinion is the ONLY who counts, right? (Of course that only applies if you listen to (or live in fear of) Trolls)
This is not about OTHERS, this is about a 4 year old boy who DIED. I'm pretty sure that ALL of the adults involved will beat themselves up and assign blame to themselves and or others for YEARS to come, that is NOT something WE NEED or SHOULD be doing. God Bless this child and his big heart. His parents obviously were teaching him the proper things because he thought about that 3yearold girl selflessly. God Bless his parents because the loss of a child is a great cross to bare no matter what the reason or whose to blame. This is just a tragedy all around.
RIP Xander Vento, and condolences to the family.
Got too far down and lost the original commenter...for the one indicating how long it takes to drown..there was a 4 yr old holding up a 3 yr old. that means a 40ish somehting pound child was holding up a 30ish something pound child (relative to the water buoyancy) while the 3-yr old was probably struggling. Trust me, exhaustion can happen fairly quickly..as a former lifeguard (and search and rescue swimmer during my early days in the CG) and one who had to rescue adults, it isn't an easy task even with the floats they use in surf rescues.
Once he was tired and slipped below the water, a mouthful of water where he couldn't surface due to fatigue and, well.....
I have always advocated lifeguards at all pools but complexes don't always use them because homeowners don't want to pay the higher HO fees or think lifeguards aren't necessary due to the size of the pool. All public pools (including the public pools in subdivisions, are required to have lifesaving equipment (floatable rings, pole etc) but people aren't trained in how to use them and often don't even realize they are there.
Rest in peace, little man. I have to wonder, where was the ADULT supervision - a three year old is struggling and a four year old is the one who steps up to help?? Yes drowning can be quick and these situations can evolve in a heartbeat, but that is why it is so important for adults to be within arm's reach of small children in the water
Exactly, my kids are 9 and 12 and I still watch them like a hawk while swimming. Such a sad story, what a brave little guy to do what he did.
my nephew nearly drowned over a year ago at the age of 5, all because his dad didnt want to go to the pool (my brother) and stayed in his hotel room to watch basketball and because his mom thought it made more sense to sit by his older brother who was 9, in the hot tub and chit chat...
he had been using the hotel's slide, not the pool...but like most kids, when he exited the slide, he started running to get back in line...slipped, and went right into the pool...couldnt swim.
sunk like a stone to the bottom.
when the lifeguard at the top of the slide saw him at the bottom of the pool, she yelled down to my sister-in-law...who then ran to the side of the pool, but didnt jump in...instead, she yelled to one of the adults in the pool, who's back was facing my nephew and didnt see any of it happen "save him"...
and he quickly - and thankfully - swam over and dove down and scooped him up.
I dont know if it was over a minute...or just seconds...but he wasnt breathing and was blue when he came up. the guy and his family were all paramedics or nurses, and begin to administer CPR immediately, and within a minute or so, revived him.
there are signs ALL OVER the pool that says no lifeguard on duty - watch your kids.
but my sister-n-law chose not to do that, and my nephew nearly died as a result.
and now, they are suing the pool...and im absolutely disgusted and hope they lose.
i have no sympathy for crappy parenting, and even less when they try to pass the buck yet again.
now, he has some issues he has to work through...he lost some abilities, like eating with a fork for example...his timing is off on things, and requires therapy...and sadly, they dont put in any effort at home "thats what the local school is for"...which, the only reason the school has to work with him on these things is because they choose not to.
it angers me. beyond belief. and my family just wont let me talk about it or ever bring it up...
Pamela, I'm sorry to hear about your nephew. I'm also sorry that you have to be related to these kinds of people - how frustrating to see it! I agree that it is the parents' responsibility to watch their own kids around a pool. Regardless of whether a life guard is on duty or not, I watch my kids (9 1/2 and 7). Life guards are people too and could miss that important moment or something. When my kids go to a swim party, I stay to watch my kids. It's not a lack of trust of the other adults, but they get busy. It's silly for your brother and his wife to sue the pool owners. They are responsible, not other people, especially if your SIL wasn't even willing to jump into the pool to save her own child. Geez!
Every parent needs to remember this about lifeguards: a lifeguard is there to watch EVERY SINGLE PERSON in the pool area. As a parent, you are there to watch YOUR CHILD(REN) ONLY. If your child needs help, who do you think is likely to see it first?
As a longtime lifeguard, swim teacher, and swim coach, here is what I have to say - if a lifeguard sees that your child needs help before you do, you are NOT doing your job as a parent. I always considered it a job well done if I saw something at the same time as the parent. There were many cases when a parent jumped in, fully clothed, to rescue a child even though I was already well on my way. There were more cases when I jumped in, made a rescue, then had to go track down the parent.
WATCH YOUR CHILDREN IN THE POOL. Better yet, get in the pool and play with your children so they can learn safe swimming from the person they trust most.
My heart breaks for the parents of this amazing child...and I agree with the comments holding parents responsible for watching over their children...
Without writing a book here about the incident, I too saved a toddler from drowning in a public pool where I had taken my young daughter to swim and play. The little girl's mother was all the way at the far end of the pool, smoking a cigarette and talking. Ironically, what caught her attention was the sight of me powering like a maniac across the section of pool that separated me from the toddler. When she realized what was happening, she FINALLY came to her senses and starting screaming and ran down to the shallow end as I scooped her daughter up from the bottom...
She then asked (with a snotty tone) this completely distraught, screaming little girl if she was okay, scolded her for taking off her water wings, grabbed her hand, and left. My 6 year-old daughter's first comment? "The lady didn't even say 'Thank you', Daddy."
Jessica, I call bull. # the slide is in 5' of water, #2 no life guard is going to yell down to people to go in after the kid, if this is true they should pull this said lifeguards license and make sure they never patrol water again. He couldn't swim but done well coming off the slide into the water and getting out...hmmm. Thank god for a whole family of medical personnel.
Wow, Jessica, wow. Such a sad story on so many levels regarding your nephew. I hope he regains his abilities and grows up OK in spite of his parents.
@Jessica, sorry to hear about your nephew...what an ongoing ordeal.
Also sorry about little 4 year old in the article. Summer often seems to be full of recreational tragedies.
Read it again. I think you mis-understood.
They were probably all either yapping or texting on their cell phones, or yapping amongst themselves while this kid drowned.
WeAllHaveOpinions, but we don't all have READING COMPREHENSION. The hotel had a pool and a play area, and the boy was playing on the slide - not the pool's slide. Jessica said he slipped and fell into the pool when he was running to get back inline. My glaring issue is why in the heck was the slide so close to the pool? That may be the basis for the lawsuit. I also wondered WHAT was the life guard yelling, and was he or she also moving towards the victim.
It wasn’t clear where the adults were when the incident happened.
Seems we keep hearing/reading this question when tragic events occur. Boils my blood!
Rest in Peace, Xander. Gotta go hug my kids...
Jessica -
Your story brought tears to my eyes. It is a shame that an innocent child will have to pay the price for the rest of his life for the neglect of adults. Parents bring children into the world and those children are THEIR responsibility, not anyone elses. I don't care if you are at a public pool, a beach, a playground or whereever. You DO NOT rely on anyone other than yourself to insure your child's safety. The only exception is when your child is at school or daycare when you have no choice but to entrust the well-being of your child to another. If your child goes to daycare, you do your homework and make sure your child is in a safe environment with a responsible adult. I hope your brother and sister-in-law lose the suite also. Technically, any money won should be put aside for your nephews special needs, but I have seen too many people like them squander it for their own needs and your poor nephew would go without. He is lucky to have an aunt like you who loves him. I sincerely hope he makes a full recovery from this incident, although it sounds like he will get no help from his parents. Some parents just shouldn't be parents. The rest of your family should act as an advocate for this child instead of avoiding bringing it up. It sounds like he needs all the help he can get in his corner.
I actually thought the same thing as we all have opinions. Play areas are not close enough to the edge of a pool. They are also not supervised by a life guard. So if the kid fell into the pool after getting off the slide, and a life guard was present, then it HAD to be a water slide. The basis for the lawsuit probably stems from the lifeguard being at the TOP of the slide, rather than at the bottom where he/she should have been to rescue anyone in trouble.
And while as a mother I would hope I would have dived into the pool fully clothed if it was my kid at the bottom, It may have been faster and better to scream for the person already in the pool to help depending on how strong a swimmer the mother was and how far from the edge the kid was.
But overall, while I'm sorry about what happened to Jessica's nephew, I am a little of put by how much blame and anger she's directing at the boy's parents. Yes a mistake was made. I'm sure that they blame themselves enough, they certainly don't need to have anyone else blaming them. The same goes for the parents of this young boy who unfortunately lost his life. Could it have been prevented? Probably. But there isn't really enough information here to judge. Let's just let this serve as a reminder to not become complacent in our summer routines and keep a watchful eye out for little ones.
Jessica-1170252
Wow, your brother and his wife should really watch out for Karma. Hopefully they get nothing from the lawsuit and gain some intelligence so that they can help with the mistake they made.
Xina -
If his parents blamed themselves, wouldn't they be moving heaven and earth trying to get him help and working with him instead of casting that responsbility off on the school? I know I would. Just saying. Of course, I would have been in the pool instead of yelling for someone else to save him too.
@ STLrunner....
See my post 1.25 above, the same thing happened to me. Only the Mom (again, I can only assume, as she never even said a word to me) never flinched. Some poeple shouldn't be alowed to have kids. I'll say "thank you" for her. Glad you were there to save her childs life.
Jessica- Oh my goodness I can't even BELIEVE that. I am very sorry!! You must feel so helpless and frustrated. I get angry because my brother in law and sister don't take care of their pets properly and that's PETS. I can't even imagine how you must feel. UGH how frustrating! :'-(
I feel terrible for your nephew. I hope he regains the skills he has lost and gets through life successfully. I don't want to wish anything bad on your relatives but I wish they would have learned from this somehow!!
Jessica-1170252 All I can say to you is this, TELL YOUR BOTHER AND SIL TO PULL THERE HEAD OUT OF THEIR ASS!
It is that simple, to the 4 year old an insperation to us all, instead of Jersey Shore and House Wifes of what ever maybe they should have more storys like this one, that have real heros not zeros!
My experience is that if a parent does not want or love their kids, there's little anyone else can do to change that. Best be there for him yourself whenever you can. My father tried to kill us by cutting the brake lines on my Mom's car before he left on a trip. Actually, he did that at least two times. Luck and Grace saved us. Then he deliberately put me in numerous dangerous situations as a small child....I'm sure now after years of his abuse that he had high hopes that I would die accidentally. Somehow luck and innocence always saved me. But yes there are parents like that out there. Mine is a business man in Raleigh right to this day. Sells used porno mostly out of his used book store. A real winner of a Father. I tried directly dealing with this but after years of his lies and denials, I gave up. Now I just share the truth when it's appropriate. And I never left him alone with his grandchild.
I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with your family.
As a parent I cannot begin to fathom the enormous grief these parents must be dealing with and I am praying everyday for them to gain strength to deal with their loss. Having said that, I cannot excuse the lack of judgement these parents suffer. Anytime there is a pool, children will be tempted to go near the water no matter how many times they have been warned not to. Children just don't have the ability to think reasonable thoughts and about consequences( sometimes even into their teens) that is why we as parents need to anticipate this and do everything in our power to protect our children from harm because of this lack of ability to reason. We are to be their protectors, as they depend on us do just that. Things happen for a reason and accidents do happen, but some accidents can be prevented.
Very Inspirational for a child so young. Many adults could learn from such a selfless act.
This is a very TRAGIC event that happened! I am just very very upset that this could have been prevented! A four year old seeing a three year old struggling??? I am a parent... There is NO EXCUSE as to why the parents were not there to witness this... This angers me because of all of the excuses that always come out after something like this happens... You have more than one child? Disabled or not... YOU WATCH THEM at the pool, or if you do not feel you can... DO NOT TAKE THEM!!! It is so sad this little boy had to give up his life as HE KNEW BETTER at 4 years old ... Does that set well with you? If not that is YOUR ISSUE!!! It is common sense... There are people out there who would love to be blessed with more than one child and cannot! This is what hurts me the most.. Some cannot have any children..... And Yet somehow you want to defend what happened here!!! Pray to GOD .... And be quiet to the rest of us because we know you were not there and some innocent child gave his life for it!!!
What really says it all here for me is a FOUR YEAR OLD KNEW BETTER!!!!! What the heck is the matter with parents these days?? It hurts me so bad that another family had to lose their innocent son due to YOUR not doing what YOU know you should have done!! This little boy died because of parents who did not THINK!!! I mourn for those parents ... They raised him the right way... May he RIP and may his parents be blessed !!! It HURTS MY HEART and SICKENS ME tonight that this happened !!!! Life IS SO PRECIOUS!!! WAKE UP!!!
I have three grandchildren that are very strong swimmers, ranging frm 5 - 7 years old. I took them to the pool ONCE and stressed out over having to watch all three of them for 15 mins.until their parents could meet us at the pool. I gave strict rules to them and measured off a part of the pool that they had to stay in, the part that was within my site and I could see them at all times. If one got out of the pool, all three got out. It was a "buddy" system that worked for me to keep them safe. I guess there are people that just think "bad things happen to other people" and my child will be safe regardless of how much effort I put in to protecting that child.
Poor family, but they raised an inspirational young "man". I say man, because this little one was more of an adult than the adults at the pool.
Where were the parents of both of these children? Unless I am missing something, this just seems completely senseless. There is no excuse for not having your eyes completely glued to a 3 and 4 year old in a pool.
It also sounds like these very young children were in deep water. They should have been in the shallow end or kiddie pool.
Studies of drowning children show that they don't yell or call out. They tend to make motions like climbing a ladder rather than flailing. Adults will watch them slip under and not realize what's really going on.
If you or your child will be in water past the waist, learn to swim. There are even swimming classes for infants and toddlers. Take them.
I agree, where was the adult supervision? And in that vein, without eyewitnesses, how do we know the boy was trying to rescue the girl and not just playing with her? I'm not trying to cast doubt on the little guy, just wondering how we came to this conclusion.
I was wondering the same thing! The girls parents should have been watching her and the boys parents should have been watching him!
jeannicole: I'm glad you realize you are missing something. It's amazing how many doofuses comment and blame without having a clue what happened--but at least you realize you might not know everything.
When I was a kid, there were kiddie pools for kids 5 and under and their parents (no kid alone in the pool). The big pool was for age 5 and up--and the age rule was enforced. Height or swim abilities didn't figure in.
I have a 19-year-old who happens to have epilepsy. She does not get into any water without a spotter. Her meds are working pretty good just now, so she can swim for a bit, but she does not enter any water unless a swim buddy is right with her--not watching, but right in the pool or lake with her. We've always respected the "buddy system" for swimming, but I can't see where that applies to a 4-year-old as a buddy for a 3-year-old. Got to have an adult who cares watching a kid, not just anybody.
" It's amazing how many doofuses comment and blame without having a clue what happened"
A child of 3 years in a swimming pool is drowning, and her parents do not notice. A boy of 4 years, was the only one who did notice, and tries to save her, and his parents don't notice. It's amazing when doofuses such as you make a comment. There are plenty of blame to go around here. You don't have to be a genius to know those that should be watching was negligence, and I'm not taling about the life guard.
Essie, unfortunately too many small pools (i.e. hotels) no longer hire lifeguards. I am glad that you have a spotter in the water for your daughter that is actually in the pool with her. I don't think the article said whether they were in the big pool or the children's pool, but that doesn't matter. A young child can drown even in a couple of feet of water. (How many times do we read about babies dying from drowning in a couple of inches of water when their mother or caretaker leave for a moment to answer the phone?)
I am surprised at how many people are saying that you should always watch your 3 or four-year-old when they are in the water. Why would you not be within arms reach of them at all times?! My child is 6 and has no fear. I don't just sit on the side of the pool and watch him. I get in the pool with him even though he is a pretty good swimmer. Adults with many years of experience drown. Children tend to ignore signs of fatigue when they are having fun. Children that age should not have been in the pool without a life vest and even then there needs to be someone paying attention.
I am sickened when I read all of these comments. This was my best friend's son that died while saving that little girl. She has 2 other children and one of them is autistic. She only looked away for a minute to attend one of her other children. Think about how long it takes you to look in a bag for sunscreen, pull it out, put it on your hands and rub it all over your other child. That is how long it takes for a child to drown. It can happen in seconds. I am so grief stricken over this whole incident. This was an accident, pure and simple. I hope none of you that are criticizing ever have your child break a limb, fall and get a bruise, or worse lose their life because you were not watching every second of their life. Please take a moment to say a prayer for this family and their loss.
Amy please give your friend a hug and kiss from me. I am so very sorry for her loss. Thank you for posting your response, it really helps to have clarification. What a life to celebrate, and an example for us to teach our children.
We are raising our grandchildren, and they terrify me with the water. They have absolutely no fear, and I have been in the lake with them when all of a sudden they get scared--6" over their heads, and they begin climbing on me. If you have never been there, take it from me: Little kids have superhuman strength when they are scared, and that survival instinct takes over. They came close to pulling me under! It happens so fast...
I have also been on the receiving end of misguided criticism having to do with my child. Did I mention that we are raising her children...Hmmm.
Amy as sad as this is and as much of a hero as this little boy is it still beggs the question where was any adults not just his parent or hers but anyone and why was her parents not in the pool with her, also what kind of a perent would let a 3 year old in a pool alone had her parents never heard of arm flouts that are made for small children or maybe a life vest. you can get this stuff at any wal-mart my niece is five and we still put flouties on her hold her with in armes reach and she is a great swimmer. im just asking what a lot of people are thinking so dont get mad couse people make comment also why are you even looking to see what peple have to say thats just asking to get pissed off couse there are a lot of hurtful people out there but I stand by what I said befor I am sad that a life was cut short and died being a hero couse the resposable adults were to busy to notice a 3 year old child in distress.and it was left to a 4 year old to do a adults job
This is from someone else in this converstation.
Amy Munn Galley
I am sickened when I read all of these comments. This was my best friend's son that died while saving that little girl. She has 2 other children and one of them is autistic. She only looked away for a minute to attend one of her other children. Think about how long it takes you to look in a bag for sunscreen, pull it out, put it on your hands and rub it all over your other child. That is how long it takes for a child to drown. It can happen in seconds. I am so grief stricken over this whole incident. This was an accident, pure and simple. I hope none of you that are criticizing ever have your child break a limb, fall and get a bruise, or worse lose their life because you were not watching every second of their life. Please take a moment to say a prayer for this family and their loss.
Tracy, first thank you for having a sensible discussion. I hate when people let their emotions dictate their responses on a "comment section" of a news story,
If you read about "floaties" on the arms of children they really do nothing. Only if the parent is in the water with the child can they truly be effective. My friend is like a "mother bear" when it comes to her children and he was the "baby cub". She has 3 children total and one of them is autistic.
I know that I have 2 children and it takes every waking moment that I have to keep up with them regardless if they are at a pool, a neighbor's house on the trampoline, or a theme park. This was an accident, pure and simple. If you do not think that the mother is replaying this in her head, you are crazy.
I am the best friend of the parent involve and I have personally cried so much that I have broken the blood vessels in my eye. This was a little boy that who was loved by all that knew him. He had a huge heart for people, animals, bugs, etc.... and the world was a better place for having him in it. Now, nine people will get to fulfill their life destinations because of this one brave little boy.
Before you have judgement, please have compassion, hope and forgiveness for a family that has endured alot in the past 3 days.
Poor little dude, Rest in Peace. He made a sacrifice and did an outstanding job of hanging in there against the odds. I know of men less brave than this 4 year old. This guy will always be a hero to many. He has set another benchmark to heroism.
I have three children as well... 2 beautiful girls and a son. I am a single father, had them 50% of the time, shared the time with my ex. Only me, no girlfriends to help, rarely anyone else coming with me to hang out with my kids and I. My ex did a good job as well.
All three managed to make it to adulthood, well... one is just about there (jr in highschool) no broken bones, no major cuts or bruises. What is amazing is they never drowned or had any major things happen to them, you know why?
BECAUSE I FREAKING WATCHED MY KIDS CLOSE!!! When we went to the beach, we stuck together, we swam together, they didn't like having to "stick close to daddy" because they have always been good swimmers. Through their teenage years we worked as a team watching eachother so even I would not drown. I did this because I didn't want them to die or get hurt. If one had to go to the bathroom, we all went to the bathroom. They all got their suntan lotion applied at the same time and did not wander off. They didn't always like it and I was not always popular but... If they wanted to do just about anything we did it together, that is why they are not messed up, kidnapped, pregnant or even dead. This is part of being a RESPONSIBLE PARENT.
You state that you are sickened by these comments? I am sickened by people who make excuses.
Good grief, thank you JMarine. Here is someone who understands parenting!!
Well son i'm sorry you died I cant watch every second of your life you
know??? I got sun screen to put on this other kid!
When my kids are in a high danger situation such as swimming there is no
"looking away for a minute" i'm attentive i'm in their with them because I wont
stand in front of my childs grave and tell them Mommy couldn't be there because
I had other matters to attend to. Too often every year parent's who "looked away
for a minute" lose a child in a swimming pool, it's a terrible way for a child to
die people. How do they know he held her up, because one of the other kids
watched it happen, while probably trying to notify the distracted parents. I'm
so sick of people justifying this neglect. They FOUND him dead at the bottom of
the pool so he went unoticed for quite some time!
Marine please begin teaching parenting for dummies as soon as possible.
Sounds like a bunch of judgemental shrews popped up. I agree, the parents and other adults "should" have been watching better, but as a parent in the southwest, where we are trained from birth to watch our children around water, I too have experienced close calls and not because I was texting or talking to friends or doing anything other than sitting at watching. You darlings who think that you are so high and mighty might want to consider that a child can become distressed right in front of your sorry faces. Contrary to the common misconceptions, drownings are very, very, very quiet events; you do not generally hear screaming, splashing, or anything else that so many people like to say happens. It only takes a few seconds for them to be there and then be gone. It often looks like they are just going under the water to get something. Don't ever judge until you're the one that was standing there. And shock causes things to go in slow motion, you cannot think and move fast enough once the adrenaline hits, if you haven't been trained, it does take a few more seconds to react in an appropriate fashion, especially if you are the parent of the child in distress. I wish you people would get educated before you judge.
And I call bull@*!& on every parent who claims that when they are in a "high danger situation such as swimming" that they are entirely attentive and not looking away. You have serious issues if you are that paranoid that your eyes are glued to your children every second they are in a pool. Perhaps you can take a page from me and do a favor for your children by just not letting them swim, by God get them swimming lessons but don't ruin their lives and fun by being the nasty helicopter nightmares you will turn yourself into by saying, "Well, I just won't take my eyes off of them ever". Get real. My boys know how to swim well but I simply choose to not bother traumatizing them with my issues with water safety. If they want to swim with their friends, they have the tools to be fine, I just don't have to be that bothersome shrew.
Give MSNBC your phone number GEnBLue because your dumb ass will be on here crying about your kid who drowned.
I dont give a rats ass about my kids style feeling cramped by my presence. My two boys are two and three and i'm not stepping away when they are in the pool you dumb poor excuse for a mother.
And just so you know drowning takes time dumb @!$%#, so a kid doesnt drown and become brain dead by you turning your head away for two seconds. Go die somewhere moron.
I agree Shannon and Marine. Who are these dumbas*es saying it just takes seconds to drown? That's just not true. It takes several minutes! There is no excuse for what happened. None. The two sets of horrible parents are at fault. I watch my child like a hawk and always have. He is nine now and hasn't had any accidents or near misses, because I was there watching. I was called an over protective parent by a woman whose 7 year old was playing outside in the cold wet rain the same day he got discharged from the hospital. He had pnemonia (spelling?). We'll see whose child makes it to adulthood without any mishaps.
Since when is having more than one child an acceptable explanation for allowing harm to come to one of your other children? If I have multiple assignments due to various professors in college, am I to get a free pass for not completing some of them because "I had more than one to finish!"? If I have two jobs is it excusable to not show up for one because "I had to go to the other one"?
If it's not acceptable for these everyday situations, why should it be okay for this woman to blame her other children for her own negligence and ineptness as a parent? If she isn't able to keep track of her children, she should get someone else to assist her, or else she should not delibrately throw them into harm's way by allowing them to be alone in a pool. Common sense, it seems, is not very common.
This boy's actions and sacrifice are a thousand times more meaningful than all the Olympic, political, and other news events combined. All of that is trivial, sensationalistic nonsense. This matters. And I agree with the previous posting -- where the HELL were the parents??
The brave ulitmate sacrifice of a 4 year old IS more meaningful and calls for contemplation, sorrow and respect. Too bad that you feel that in the same breath, it is appropriate to minimize the sacrifice, hard work, courage and honorable acts that MANY Olympic athletes, from the greatest to the one who endured the harshest losses, display.
How ironic that the very characteristics that are found in the best human beings who happen to be Olympic athletes are ALSO the very same things that made that little boy who he was. I don't know about you, but the world would be better off with MORE people made up of hearts like that.
I hear what you're saying. But it just seems like a little boy who instincitvely thought of someone else above himself, at the cost of his own life, is in a different universe entirely from any athlete who, noble or not, is ultimately just playing a game, with the goal being victory, recognition, fame, and reward. Nothing wrong with playing a game, or for striving for any of those things -- but to make a comparison between that and what this little boy did is ludicrous.
At 3 years old, my daughter was never allowed in the pool without me or my husband with her...
Children don't always do what they're allowed to do. This article didn't give anyone enough information to point fingers.
F Walsh,
Are you kidding? "Children don't always do what they're allowed to do." A child of 3 or 4 years old should NEVER be in the pool without an adult RIGHT THERE.
My 3 year old granddaughter is a good swimmer but she is still never in the pool without at least one adult near enough to grab her.
F Walsh
Sure the 3 year old just walked out the door and over to the pool then decides to jump right in. There is plenty of information to point fingures. The leash on my kids goes as far as I can jump when around a pool of water, and they can swim.
Wow .. what an inspiring little kid. He had a big heart for such a young age.
Such a giving sole and so brave, god bless the family of this lovely little boy who made such a selfless sacrafice. Heaven will be witing for you with open arms.
accidents happen, and this is a major tragedy to the family and my sympathy goes out to them, and let this be a lesson to all parents
Yes, accidents happen - but they don't have to. A little prevention can prevent many (most?) "accidents".
And until you actually know the details of what happened, you are in no position to judge whether or not THIS specific accident was or was not preventable.
amphiox,
The only way that this accident would not be preventable would have been if both sets of parents drowned just prior to the accident. Neither of these children should have been beyond arm's reach of their parents.
Accidents don't just happen. Accidents are like two blind person bumping into each other. This is negligence.
amphiox, not knowing the details? What did the parents drown prior to the 3 year old as laura stated? There are so many ways to prevent this tragedy. Cheap arm floaters, life vest swin suits, parents a few arms length away and paying attention. This is negligence
He reached the point of exhaustion, this was not something that happened so fast nobody could do anything.
To: Getoveryourself 12
Your absolutely right, I mean sometimes you lose track of your kids and they die no biggy everybody calm down. Pleasssse!
That looks like a community pool, they have a lot of kids in their. I wouldn't sit that one out I get in there with my kids new hairdo and all. Someone said you guys dont think this is replaying in the mothers head? Yeah I hope she's thinking of what they could have did better.
Those parents are in hell and do not need armchair quarterbacks spouting about how much better they could have handled the situation. No one knows when a tragic accident will happen out of the blue. The kids could have looked like they were playing.
As far as the people who use every single discussion board to further their Aethist views, anyone can click on their name at the top of the post, then choose to block their posts so that they do not show up to dominate the posts. It's not all about you, it's about this little boy, his heroism and the parents pain.
So many questions surrounding this tragedy that aren't addressed in the story: If they know he held a struggling three-year old above water to save them, then it must have been witnessed. If it was witnessed, why wasn't he saved? He shouldn't been under more than a moment if that was the case. If it wasn't witnessed, then who was negligent in leaving 3 and 4 year olds at the pool unattended? Anybody know any more about this sad event?
A 3 year old can talk you know...
Yes, a 3 year old can talk, but not comprehend or explain like an older child or adult.
The parents of Xander Vento, a little boy who was forced under the water while saving another child at a neighborhood pool in Fort Worth, Texas, earlier this week, says they are taking their son off of life support.
I've heard of other drowning/near drowning instances where there were so many kids in the pool (and not enough adult attention to what was going on) that the drowning victim literally could not get past them and to the surface. I wonder if that's the case here.
chances are they saw this, while reviewing the security tape, but all the adults were somewhere else, chatting and getting mixed drinks and coffee...
I am sickened when I read all of these comments. This was my best friend's son that died while saving that little girl. She has 2 other children and one of them is autistic. She only looked away for a minute to attend one of her other children. Think about how long it takes you to look in a bag for sunscreen, pull it out, put it on your hands and rub it all over your other child. That is how long it takes for a child to drown. It can happen in seconds. I am so grief stricken over this whole incident. This was an accident, pure and simple. I hope none of you that are criticizing ever have your child break a limb, fall and get a bruise, or worse lose their life because you were not watching every second of their life. Please take a moment to say a prayer for this family and their loss.
Amy, I am sorry, very sorry he died. Your friend was not the only adult there. you explained where his mom was, but what about the parents of the 3 year old? Or any other adults there for that matter. We can not change what happened. All we can do is try and learn from the mistakes that were made that caused this to happen.
This is from someone else in this converstation.
Amy Munn Galley
I am sickened when I read all of these comments. This was my best friend's son that died while saving that little girl. She has 2 other children and one of them is autistic. She only looked away for a minute to attend one of her other children. Think about how long it takes you to look in a bag for sunscreen, pull it out, put it on your hands and rub it all over your other child. That is how long it takes for a child to drown. It can happen in seconds. I am so grief stricken over this whole incident. This was an accident, pure and simple. I hope none of you that are criticizing ever have your child break a limb, fall and get a bruise, or worse lose their life because you were not watching every second of their life. Please take a moment to say a prayer for this family and their loss.
Amy,
Be sick reading the comments.
If someone has so many children that she can't watch all of them, particularly as young as four years, she should not have been at a pool without enough adults so that ALL of them could be watched.
Multiple children and having challenged children does not negate a parent's responsibility to ALL of their children.
I don't believe one minute is all the time that it took for one child to have difficulties and another child to rescue the first child and then secumb to exhaustion and sink to the bottom. Could your friend possibly have looked away for maybe five minutes, maybe ten minutes.
Amy the bottom line is the parents were chatting, they were distracted for more than just one minute. Now I may get distracted cooking and have an oh crap moment and run to the kitchen, I do not do this watching my childrens lives that I cant remake. I'm sure if you look at the tape the parents werent paying enough attention, this kid reached the point of EXHAUSTION.
While I do appreciate this little boy's courage and sacrifice, this could have been prevented with adult supervision. Where were the adults? One of the basic rules for swimming is never go by yourself.
Good for the family for donating his organs, maybe his sacrifice will save more than one.
So sad for those parents, but where was the supervision, or pool alarm?
I'm done with the news today. Just done. What a child. What a child. A great human being in a world that needs more great human beings is gone.
From another article:
I can't help but shake my head - unclear if there was a lifeguard on duty and somehow not one, but TWO, small children wind up in the deepend. Lifeguard or no, it is so important for parents/adults to supervise children in/around pools. Also, perhaps it is just poorly written, but it reads as though this poor boy was on the bottom of the pool until EMS arrived - why would someone not have gone in and gotten him out of the pool when they realized he was in trouble/called 911??
His mother was at the pool?????????? When we take our daughter to the pool, we don't answear our cell phones, we don't talk with our friends, we don't assume that someone else is watching her. We are with her 100% and NEVER take our eyes off of her. Some people say that we're too clingly but we always say... "she's not YOUR child." RIP little hero.
SOMETHING is not passing the smell test from this report. A 4yr old holding up a struggling 3 yr old in the deep end seems unlkely - maybe, but hard to imagine. If the mother was there did she panic and freeze up and just leave the boy underwater??? I doubt a 3 yr old related a story of struggling to stay up until the 4 yr old became exhausted. I just don't see that. If the mother was there, how could any of this have happened? I hope they follow up on this. If the mother knows about the heroic actions, then what in god's name is the excuse for the boy drowning?
I was at a child's 3rd. birthday party many years ago--there were several adults in the pool among the dozen or so kids--most wearing water wings. A little girl apparently panicked and grabbed onto one of the other kids--pushing him right under. If there had been no adult eyes and ears (and arms!) right there, neither child would have stood a chance.
It does not have to be a child either--my brother tried to help a man in distress in the ocean--this man would not listen to instructions and just grabbed onto my brother and pushed him under too. My brother felt his strength waning very quickly, was able to kick himself loose of the guy and made it back close enough to the shore to be pulled in by bystanders. He was totally exhausted--thought he was going to die. (The other man was saved by a tube thrown off a boat).
The 4 year old may not have had a choice here, that's all I'm saying. Once a child grabs onto the other, the other is difficult to see. Be in the water with your kids--and make sure they have your undivided attention.
JK - you've echoed my points about how difficult it would be for a 4yr old to hold up a struggling 3 yr old in a pool. I'm a born cynic, so I usually defer to the the adage, "If sounds too good to be true....." If they KNOW that the 4 yr old performed a miraculous rescue, then there is NO reason for the 4 yr old to have drown event happened. The story just says it did, but doesn't say what confirms it. DID the 3 yr old say something to this effect? A 4yr old drowned in a pool - an adult is responsible, and I hope this story of reported heroism isn't a deflection from finding blame for his death and making something "wonderful" out of it because his organs have been donated.
I'm wondering the same thing Mike, how do they know this happened. I have a three year old, who speaks very well. But I just cant picture him saying this kid held me up until he became exhausted and drowned, he is my hero. Where is the person who told this story and why didn't they say anything while he was being "heroic"? This boys courage is touching but this boy should not have been the one to save this childs life.
Such a horrible tragedy. It is so sad that this could have all been prevented if 1) these children had adult supervision and 2) the children were wearing PFDs (floatation devices). And where was the lifeguard? I have a 3 year old and I would NEVER let him in a swimming pool without his PFD and an adult that I explicitly trust.
Oh what a sad sad story. And what a heroic young man. God Bless his soul. I just wish the parents would give it a little more time. Children are so resilient. How sad. I don't want to sound mean but where were the parents. I have two grandkids 1 year and 3 year and they are never out of our sight! I see so many parents today who let their kids walk behind them while they walk ahead or vice versa. I don't hesitate to say something. I could care less if it angers them.
About seeing parents walking with their kids behind them...I used to get so angry at my husband for doing this with our kids, especially in crowded places like Disneyland. He finally got a clue, but boy did it frustrate me! Good for you for telling parents the dangers of this. People think too many times that kids are adults and just know to keep up or something. They don't, and it only takes a second to lose a child in a store, theme park or where ever!
This makes my stomach turn...and my heart ache for the families involved! And at the same time I want to slap the hell out of the adult in charge of these little ones...I mean, come on!!!! RIP little man...You are a hero and a fine example of sacrifice <3
RIP little one...so heartbreaking for him and his family......
Very poorly written story, very few details..... I won't jump on the "where the hell were the parents" bandwagon because the writer was too lazy to include any of that information. Maybe if Mr. Heinz weren't in such a hurry to get a headline out there he could have written the whole story.
man, that's so sad. god bless little hero dude.
Such a tragedy. My heart goes out to the family, negligence or not, this shouldn't have happened and no parent deserves to go through such a thing as burying their 4 year old.
WHERE were the adults in this situation?? This is so senseless
How horrible. My heart goes out to the family of this little boy. He indeed is a hero
Where was the life guard. But my heart goes out to the family.
Where were the parents when this drowning was taking place? Sounds suspiciously like like parental neglect involved in this scenario. My heart goes out to the parents of the boy being removed from life support. It is a tough decision.
RIP Little Man....
Rest in Peace, Xander.
RIP little buddy. You will never be forgotten for your wonderful selfless deed and the lives you touched. Xander, you are a hero and now a true angel.
I agree, this was a heartwarming and heartbreaking story all at the same time. I do take issue with your "true angel" comment. My aunt Tilda died 10 years ago. She was a bit fat and lazy, and did nothing spectacular. However, if she is in heaven now, is she not a true angel? Is this like Sarah Palin's America, where only a small percentage of Americans are "real Americans?" And besides, if you read your Bible, you will note that Angels are not dead people. Angels are creations of another order. People who have died, will be later resurrected to life, but they will still be people. Also, calling this heroic boy "buddy" is a blatant attempt to gain favor for yourself. Perhaps you feel this "true angel" will be able to help you in some way, possibly obtain for you some heavenly perks? Listen, Mackenzie, you will have to stand in line for the heavenly bathrooms just like everyone else.
It's amazing the stupid things people take offense over. Any person who actually studied theology would tell you the dead are completely separate than angels anyway. I guess you're just living up to your name.
Really, Stoopid?!?! Your name truly fits, buddy.
You beat me to the punch Lala.
I don't think stoopid will go to heaven with that attitude. Perhaps stoopid needs to brush up on the bible, as well.
Stoopid sounds like a bad gene in the pool. Please go back to your meditation. A bad apple in every tree, MOVE ON! March forward!
Your both wrong stupid and fwalsh. Angel means messenger. Holy Angel is Gods higher order of servants. People are Angels. It's a title, not a creature. Look it up.
Stoopid is as Stoopid posts.
PS. If I 'Friend' your fat lazy aunt, think she can put in a good word for me?
Angels are messengers. would you not say that Xander's example of love and courage is an example to all of us?
Why bother debating fairy tales? The next thing you know we will be debating the existence of the tooth fairy or even spiderman because of course there are books written about them.
Angels appear to have been present before the earth was created. There were no people before the earth was created, if you believe Adam was the first person. Therefore, angels are not people.
I would tend to think so, as long as you don't laugh at her. She died bending over a vat of marshmallow in a factory, by falling in. She was trying to recover a jellybean that fell in there. Unfortunately, they never recovered the body. She was blended into a mallow cup, according to the coroner. I think she died happy.