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Subscribe to RSSEverything you see in the music video happened to Marine-turned-country-singer Stephen Cochran: Pushing the girl away, boozing into oblivion, the gun on the blanket. It all went down last year.
Courtesy of Stephen Cochran
Stephen Cochran, a former Marine recon scout and now a country-music singer, has penned a new song about PTSD - combat-related symptoms that almost claimed his life in 2011.
Even the actor who portrays Cochran is, himself, a former Marine and Iraq veteran who knows of post-traumatic stress, who has wrangled with identical demons. The actor was not acting.
The only on-screen tweak from reality was the type firearm shown. In his dimmest hour, behind a locked door in his Nashville home, exhausted, alone, and telling himself: “I’m done,” Cochran rested a loaded shotgun against his bed.
“I was just trying to get the nerve. I had it planned out,” Cochran told NBC News. “I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I was tired of taking all these pills. I was going through a breakup. Couldn’t write anymore. Watching everything fall apart. I was ready to check out.”
Then: salvation, and a surreal rescue scene worthy of an epic ballad. His dog, Semper Fi, began scratching relentlessly at his door, bloodying her paws. Next, Cochran’s ex-fiancé unexpectedly entered the house, simply to retrieve a forgotten item, he said. She saw the anxious dog. She expected the worst. She barged into the bedroom, spotted the gun and physically restrained Cochran.
But from anguish came inspiration. Amid an existence long blurred by PTSD — the residue of Afghanistan firefights, Marine buddies lost in combat, and his own nearly fatal injury — one question blazed in Cochran's head. He jotted it down: “How do you paint a picture back in focus?”
“It was the only way I could describe trying to put your life back together, literally trying to do the impossible,” he said.
Around that single thought, Cochran penned an entire song, “Pieces,”an ode to the blackness from which he was aching to escape, a tale of reconnecting the scattered fragments of his shattered world, and a message of solidarity for his military brothers and sisters. The single — part of a CD with the same title — will be released in this country on Nov. 11. The song already has charted in Europe.
“It’s not just my story. So many of us think about (suicide) because you just get so tired, so tired of being the crazy guy. Or of hearing: ‘He’s weird.’ Or of hearing: ‘We can’t hire you because we really don’t know what post-traumatic stress is and you might come back and kill us all.’
“I really wrote it as my own healing, for what I was going through,” added Cochran, 33, who teamed with fellow musician Trevor Rosen to complete the song. It took them only 15 minutes.
But after playing it at several veterans’ benefits, Cochran heard from service members up and down the chain of command how they, too, connected with the lyrics. That feedback has turned “Pieces” into the soundtrack of the singer’s ongoing crusade.
“We have an epidemic of suicides in the military right now. At this point, we are physically losing both of these wars in the United States of America, not overseas.
Related: First opera about Iraq War reaches out to veteran suffering from PTSD
“If we want to stop our suicides, we need a complete overhaul in our ‘warrior’ terminology in this country, in the way we train our families (how to relate with homecoming veterans). That’s what I want to start with ‘Pieces,’ and the video. I want to get a bridge between our civilian population and the veterans. And I want to reach into the rooms of some of these guys and girls — who are just sitting in the dark and watching TV all day like I did — and let them know: You’re not alone.”
Perhaps the most ironic thread of Cochran’s story coils back to the days of his first, true musical success. In 2007, one year after retiring from the Marines, he scored a country hit with “Friday Night Fireside,” the culmination of a childhood dream for a guy raised in Nashville. The accompanying video was voted No. 1 by Great American Country fans for five straight weeks.
courtesy of Stephen Cochran
After his the light-armoured vehicle crashed in Afghanistan, Stephen Cochran fractured vertebrae and suffered a traumatic brain injury in 2004. Told he would never walk again, an experimental procedure by VA surgeons restored his steps.
Two years later, Cochran became the national spokesman for research and development at the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs — his thank you for a successful, experimental surgery performed by VA surgeons who repaired his broken back. In 2004, Cochran had splintered several lumbar vertebrae when the vehicle in which he was riding through southern Afghanistan slammed into gaping hole that once held an anti-tank mine. He couldn’t feel or move his legs for months, and was told by doctors that he’d never take steps again. He walked.
The former Marine reconnaissance scout, part of the U.S. force that first knocked the Taliban out of Afghanistan’s Helmand Province, next teamed up with the VA to become its national co-chair for voluntary service. In that role, Cochran toured America, urging veterans to seek help for combat stress, “to let them know you don’t have to suffer in silence,” recalled Rosetta Fisher-Oliver, the VA’s chief of voluntary service for Tennessee and for parts of Kentucky and Georgia.
In 2011, Cochran recorded the music video “Hope” for the VA to try and cement his get-help pleas to fellow troops. What few knew: Cochran was losing his own hope.
“We worked on that video together, and the week he was supposed to make the video, I tried to get in touch with him, just to check to see that he was going to be on time,” said Fisher-Oliver.
She was unable to reach him, however, because Cochran was by then seeking treatment — after reaching the brink of suicide in his bedroom.
“Here’s a person who’s trying to get the message out and he’s still struggling with issues too,” she said. “He later told me: ‘I almost wasn’t here.’ ”
Cochran now acknowledges that he carried “almost dual personalities” during that time. In front of fellow veterans and fans, he sang, smiled, shook hands and signed autographs. “But I also had to deal with this monster I have inside my head and inside my gut, all day.” At home, his family and his then-fiancé, he admitted, took the brunt of his mood swings and emotional detachment.
courtesy of Stephen Cochran
After breaking his back in Afghanistan, Cochran was greeted by a fellow Marine. He later regained the ability to walk.
“You’re screaming out: Please help me understand what I’m going through, because I have no clue! That’s why you see the high number of divorces in the military,” Cochran said. “I told my fiancé: ‘I don’t know what I’m dealing with so the best thing for you to do is just leave and you’ll thank me later.' ”
She left.
But in what could have been Cochran’s final minutes, she came back, and burst into his bedroom.
After Cochran artfully turned that horrid moment into a song, he met the man picked to portray his downward spiral in the “Pieces” video: Daniel Dean, a Nashville songwriter and actor. He also looks a bit like Cochran. He seemed like a logical choice.
In talking with Dean, though, Cochran learned that the man was a Marine sniper who did three tours in Iraq. And they both had lived for years with the lingering anxieties that often remain for veterans who log months of combat exposure.
“He told me: 'This is my story, too,'” Cochran remembers. “That dude lived that.”
They also agreed with the concept that “Pieces” would be not just the first music video to delve so deeply into PTSD. It would break ranks with dozens of other standard, country-music videos about the U.S. military — mini movies that often include battle scenes that, some critics say, glorify war.
“Stephen does country music and so do I, and there’s a lot of military songs and a lot of them are pretty much B.S.” Dean said. “You’ve got the Toby Keith type stuff and that’s all right for what it is. But very rarely does a song hit a military person the way this one does.
“Just because it’s real. It’s one of the things I doubt you’ll hear any of the other country stars singing about. It’s (usually) more of the patriotic angle. Most military members aren’t songwriters like Stephen and I. So, I guess that lets us be able to sing things that you can’t say or can't deal with.”
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Leave a Comment:
Thank you for writing this song.... It will help all PTSD survivors.....it is hard to explain in words but your song covers it well....Veterans are not the only ones that suffer this malady...my military friend suffered the same symptoms and were the best support to each other... we understood without words...Hope your song is #1!
You are right that not only veterans suffer this - those who are abused also suffer it. I am glad to see this video recognizing how devastating the condition is.
And Team GOP can't wait to get us into ANOTHER war (Iran)?????
Sorry, the human cost is too damn great when every war puts another million or so vets on disability.
Amen to that dubldoc.
Thanks for injecting politics douche. Take your meds and stfu.
Beautiful song and with great hope it will bring peace to our damaged veterans.
War should always be a last resort. We have sent too many of our young people to the battlefields for the wrong reasons; and unfortunately those who order military action often have never served, never had family members who served, and take little heed of the cost to our military members. Those who rattle their sabres and beat the drums of war should be required to be first in line to experience the hell of war. If they are too old, then their children or grandchildren should be required to don a uniform.
Oh how they care but they never dare look to the heart of the matter, how men of great greed get what they need, purses that only get fatter.
I spent years thinking I was crazy. Damn near jumped off an over pass once. Lots of drugs. Wife didn't leave but had lots of affairs. Kids thought I was crazy. Family still won't have anything to do with me and I'm 70 now. Couldn't stay on a job or stay in one place more than a yr. Then around 40 realized I had to come out of there. Got a motorcycle and would go around practicing talking with people. Frankly, I can't hande what I see as a war crazed America so I stick to myself rather than make a scene. I really related to his Pieces. You go to pieces and then work like hell to create a new picture you can live with. Thanks for the song. I'm crying.
eugene-3657428, I hear you my friend. I'm 50, and live alone, (well with my companions with four legs that I know I wouldn't be here without). Mr. Cochran, will hopefully bring more of a focus on War and it's consequences. I'm angry and saddened how this country is always ready to go to war so blindly. What caught my eye and empathy was when you wrote: "Frankly, I can't handle what I see as a war crazed America so I stick to myself rather than make a scene." I hope for ALL veterans, and ALL those with PTSD, that they are able to put at least some of the "Pieces" back together. You are NOT alone!
Thank you Mr. Cochran!
r,
Paul
Drugs will do it to you.
awesome song we need to remember our vets
Thank you for writing this song....I just wish you could've wrote it before my husband took his life .......that was 2006. Thanks for bringing light to this issue!!!
Good luck ahead!!!!
tiger-3463418, I wish for you and your late husband, he could have too.
Tiger,
*Hugs*, I'm very sorry about your husbands death. I am grateful for his service, but wish that things could have been different for your family
Karen
Such an inspirational song. I served twice in Afghanistan with an army ranger platoon attached to the 173rd Airborne Brigade for scout purposes. The first deployment was not as bad as the second. I was involved in the capture of the Wenat Valley, where we encountered a lot more resistance than we expected. Needless to say, we saw plenty of destruction throughout our 15 months, but none compared to the battle for that valley. I lost 4 friends in the ensuing battles alone, rendering aid to my fellow brothers who ended up losing the battle to stay alive. Since our return home, 3 of our soldiers have taken their own lives. I myself suffered shrapnel injuries during an RPG attack and have recurring ear issues from this. I've been discharged and basically given no assistance from the military.
On my return, I went into a death spiral. I would stay up all night, drinking, afraid of sleep because I knew what awaited me in my dreams. I was prescribed countless medications, most of which I began abusing. In the 4 years I've been out, I've moved countless times, running away from any issue that I come across. The culmination of my issues resulted in a drunken, drug induced night of suicidal thoughts, where the only help I knew to get away from myself was to check myself into the hospital. Only recently have I found peace. I've sought out therapy, and also married the woman of my dreams, had a child and she is helping me on my path to rebuilding myself. We've known each other for years, and when we saw each other again, she couldn't believe the shell of a man I'd turned into. This is an issue that needs addressing, needs to be taken seriously. I still struggle, but thankfully I was able to overcome my demons to where I can function.
These men and women need to be recognized and removed from their forward operation roles. I prayed on numerous occassions to go back to Afghanistan and pay the ultimate price. I'm glad I never brought myself to do so.
Thank you to everyone who supports the veterans and understands that we're not monsters, just broken people who need a little extra care to become whole again.
All the best wishes to my fellow warriors,
A Concerned Veteran- SSGT. Army Ret.
please read post #9 it was for you.
Sir, I appreciate that. I couldn't imagine some of the things you have to live with. And coming from an era that really had no clue what you guys would be living with. My father is a vietnam vet, and I've seen his struggles, and realize we're in pretty much the same boat. You hang in there as well, sir, and I appreciate your kind and supportive words. I honestly can not thank you and your generation enough for the support I've seen coming from you guys. I'll be forever thankful to the ones before me that can lend kind, wisdom filled words
Thank you for your service.
God bless us all,this vet was brave and I survive each day with VA medications.
In my 70 years of life PTSD hasn't been a part of my vocabulary all that long. My family has never been touched by it, to my knowledge I've never been around anyone with it so all I know is what I read. Same goes for the myriad of other mental illnesses. It just seems to me like if we are going to spend billions on weapons to fight these wars we should have the responsibility to not only our warriors but also, and especially, their families to spend the necessary funds to do intense education on PTSD. I'd bet most families are, first of all, in denial that their loved one may come home mentally damaged. Yes, they worry that their son or daughter may come home physically injured or maybe won't make it home at all but I'd bet that for most people, as soon as that son or daughter walks through the door the main objective is to get back to "normal" life as soon as possible, put the war behind them and life will go on as usual. Obviously, far too often that son or daughter can't do that. Families need to be made aware of and educated on that possibility beforehand. Obviously any physical, easily seen damage can be either fixed or learned to be dealt with much easier than something nobody can see. Where's the money for the much needed "preventive strike" education for these families??? It's going into the design, construction and distribution of the next big killing machine, of course. Pathetic!!!
Sir, you do us all proud! I would be in the front of the line to educate families, friends and colleagues.
You hit the nail on the head with your comment about just going back to normal life. What a lot of families dont realize is that there will never be a "normal" life for these men and women. The people they see die are closer than most family members, and its not exactly the most tranquil way to go.
If a soldier that has seen action and just come home and "forget about it", well then there are even deeper pyschiatric issues. Possibly psychotic. I agree that there has to be a degree of moving on from the soldiers stand point, its necessary, but it'll always be with us. And if families cant realize that, and go slowly, well then its not going to end well. I was ostercized by my family, because as I mentioned in my post, I was abusing alchohol, drugs, and being inwardly and outwardlly violent. Sure, I was a hazard, but what I yearned for was for someone to just SLOW DOWN and talk with me. But no one wants to hear the horror stories, they only want to hear about how we were kicking Taliban ass. Well, I assure you, I certainly never did, nor do I still, feel like a "bad ass".
Most families are just proud to say "I have someone in my family who serves" but most of them couldnt even tell someone what unit they soldier belonged to, or what his/her actual job was inside the military, besides "killing muslims". It's sickening, almost.
I also suffer PTSD albeit from a non-military incident. PTSD is a horrible affliction and can't be cured with pills. Any expression of our feelings is a good thing.
you and countless other vets from many wars/conflict have problems that other people willnot/couldnot understand,its real,its not fantasy,the va has to sort thru the liars and the people who need help,not meds,hang in there and don't go to the abyess,head toward the brighter side of this journey called life,we'll all go to the same place,so don't push any buttons that make the end sooner than need be,you are a warrior and you did the right thing by seeking help,no one laughs at you when you go to va for help,remember you are not alone,i myself been chasing my tale since around 75 when we ran from the boogeyman in vietnam.its sad.
And don't take no for an answer! Arguing won't help but talking to a Veteran Service Officer or a Congressional Veteran/Military Aide can! You paid for their help, you're still paying for their help...demand it!
Sounds like his dog lived up to her name.
Wonder if his ex and him will get back together,from her actions that day it sure seems she still cares for him.
From the people I've know who deal with PTSD you have hit the nail on the head. It also made me think of all my father brought back with him from Vietnam. He was never the same. Did all those things, drank, lashed out and struggled with the horror that he'd seen. He never talked about it with his family and I only understood after he'd been gone for over 10 years when someone else described what it had been like there with him. Luckily for him my mother was an unbelievable strong woman who loved him unconditionally and never took any of his anger personally, just loved him through it and stood by him without any doubts. Even when I would ask why she didn't leave after one of his rages. She told me because she loved him. I wish all of the people who suffer with this could have someone who would so staunchly stand beside them even when they try to push you away.
I'm challenging the unemployed to help while we are out of work, get involved, let us see if we are up to the fight, were we worth them fighting for?
I'm not a huge fan of Country music. This song however is just so emotional and spot on. It is truly a gift that you, Mr. Cochran have been given the words that simply explain how the majority of our Veterans are feeling. My brother was KIA in Afghanistan 2006. He had less than 25 days to come home and didn't make it. It was his second tour. When we seen him during his last visit home we could see the difference in his personality. He was struggling and was confused by his emotions. It was hard to watch, even harder for him not to make it home to us. Devastation is such a small word when describing PTSD. Thank You for your creativity and sharing your inner most feelings and life experience with everyone. I can't imagine being that open,honest and sincere but, you are blessing thousands. Thank you and may God bless you for your sincerity.
Emotional pain can be just as debilitating as physical pain. In fact, it's often worse, because so many people don't get it, don't want to see it. So many people view it as weakness or malingering. I have seen the pain these people go through. One of my patients is a WWII vet. He still has nightmares, still can't talk about what he saw, what he experienced.
My uncle was a Marine in the South Pacific. It was forty years before he began to talk about what had happened to him over there. It isn't possible to watch your friends die in terrible ways and not be scarred and damaged by the experience.
I wish that every politician who urges us into a war could spend just one week in the emotional hell these guys have to carry around. Maybe it would blunt some of their hawkish behavior. They find it way too easy to send our young men and women into these horrible theaters of war and then vote against veterans' benefits. Let them send their own sons and daughters. Let them serve. If you are going to support war, you should support it by putting on the uniform and experiencing combat. Otherwise, shut up and sit down. Your patriotism doesn't impress me when the cost is paid by others.
I know that war is sometimes necessary, but it should always be a last resort. It should never be entered into casually or without great effort to avoid it. War changes people in ways that cannot be measured. They come back having lost something precious, something they cannot regain. We should not ask that of someone without being willing to serve ourselves. We should not ask that of anyone unless we have exhausted every other possibility.
When the vets come home, they should be embraced, treasured, supported and loved. And they should never, ever, have to beg for help.
The comments on this blog bring tears to my eyes.I'm a peacetime vet (77-81),but I've been involved with helping our returning vets integrate back into a peaceful society. I have been working with these fine young men and women through psychological counseling and behavioral therapy.
what most people don't realize is that these returning heroes have spent more time in war zones than any other American generation who have gone to war. It is not unheard of for an individual to have done 3 15month tours. Compared to Vietnam where a person was only required to do 1 13 month tour, or WWII where Europe was invaded in June of 1944 and the defeat of Germany was on May 8th, 1944 ( 11 months 2 days). The longer a person is subjected to high level stressful situations, the more likely psychological damage will be done. there is going to be a HUGE increase in PTSD cases due to the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. The challenge is just beginning and we will need to meet the challenge over the next several decades.
i gotta hand it to both #14 and#15 that was very well put in a context that even a war mongering politician could understand.
We're sending boys to do men's work.
We're sending volunteers, and I stand with most Americans in expressing gratitude for their service and a desire to see them cared for when they return. If you think you're more capable than the ones who have already volunteered, please join up. If not, keep your patronizing comments to yourself.
The words of empathy and compassion in these comments is heart-warming and heart-wrenching at the same time. As someone who has been able to find relief, though not a cure, with EMDR, I encourage those facing the challenges of PTSD to look into it.
www . emdr . com No spaces
Very Good Video Steve...I know exactly where you're coming from, but unfortunately, people like Mitt
and his corporate whore friends have no clue. And I not voting for Obama either.
People in this country stick those stupid yellow ribbons on their cars and claim to support our troops,
but the reality is that they really don't give a @!$%#.
The VA paid for my poor traumitized brother a (Vietnam) victim a scholarship for another masters (he has two). The second one was to come work for VA to counsel pstd victims.
Stephen,
...got tears in my eyes, memories flooding out of my heart. I'm lucky, living with PTSD ever since 1970. Travelled the same path you did for a while. Found myself with the help of others and persistence...wrote a book about the struggle: Soldier's Heart: An Inquiry of War. Many vets have thanked me for writing it to tell THEIR story also...Thanks again Stephen.
Lee Burkins US Army Special Forces, MACV-SOG.
If you are suffering from PTSD PLEASE seek out a certified EMDR therapist. We CAN help! If you can not find one through the VA system, find a civilian one. There are many programs out there which will pay for your therapy. To find a certified EMDR therapist in your area go to www.emdria.org.
Much thanks to Mr. Cochran for sharing his heart through this beautiful song. It's hard to find the words to post that express what this song deserves so I'll just say Thanks to you and to all who have sacrificed and served this country AND I will be looking for the CD on November 11 - Veterans Day - when it is released in stores.
PTSD may also be noted from those being constantly abused, mistreated, tortured, or in an extreme, fragile, cautious environment in which one cannot predict and guarantee one's safety and peace in one's environment.
I'm not a vet, but struggle with PSTD as well. My heart goes out to people who suffer from it. If we are going to send soldiers to fight in wars, we need to be prepared to help them when they come home.