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Subscribe to RSSEverything you see in the music video happened to Marine-turned-country-singer Stephen Cochran: Pushing the girl away, boozing into oblivion, the gun on the blanket. It all went down last year.
Courtesy of Stephen Cochran
Stephen Cochran, a former Marine recon scout and now a country-music singer, has penned a new song about PTSD - combat-related symptoms that almost claimed his life in 2011.
Even the actor who portrays Cochran is, himself, a former Marine and Iraq veteran who knows of post-traumatic stress, who has wrangled with identical demons. The actor was not acting.
The only on-screen tweak from reality was the type firearm shown. In his dimmest hour, behind a locked door in his Nashville home, exhausted, alone, and telling himself: “I’m done,” Cochran rested a loaded shotgun against his bed.
“I was just trying to get the nerve. I had it planned out,” Cochran told NBC News. “I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I was tired of taking all these pills. I was going through a breakup. Couldn’t write anymore. Watching everything fall apart. I was ready to check out.”
Then: salvation, and a surreal rescue scene worthy of an epic ballad. His dog, Semper Fi, began scratching relentlessly at his door, bloodying her paws. Next, Cochran’s ex-fiancé unexpectedly entered the house, simply to retrieve a forgotten item, he said. She saw the anxious dog. She expected the worst. She barged into the bedroom, spotted the gun and physically restrained Cochran.
But from anguish came inspiration. Amid an existence long blurred by PTSD — the residue of Afghanistan firefights, Marine buddies lost in combat, and his own nearly fatal injury — one question blazed in Cochran's head. He jotted it down: “How do you paint a picture back in focus?”
“It was the only way I could describe trying to put your life back together, literally trying to do the impossible,” he said.
Around that single thought, Cochran penned an entire song, “Pieces,”an ode to the blackness from which he was aching to escape, a tale of reconnecting the scattered fragments of his shattered world, and a message of solidarity for his military brothers and sisters. The single — part of a CD with the same title — will be released in this country on Nov. 11. The song already has charted in Europe.
“It’s not just my story. So many of us think about (suicide) because you just get so tired, so tired of being the crazy guy. Or of hearing: ‘He’s weird.’ Or of hearing: ‘We can’t hire you because we really don’t know what post-traumatic stress is and you might come back and kill us all.’
“I really wrote it as my own healing, for what I was going through,” added Cochran, 33, who teamed with fellow musician Trevor Rosen to complete the song. It took them only 15 minutes.
But after playing it at several veterans’ benefits, Cochran heard from service members up and down the chain of command how they, too, connected with the lyrics. That feedback has turned “Pieces” into the soundtrack of the singer’s ongoing crusade.
“We have an epidemic of suicides in the military right now. At this point, we are physically losing both of these wars in the United States of America, not overseas.
Related: First opera about Iraq War reaches out to veteran suffering from PTSD
“If we want to stop our suicides, we need a complete overhaul in our ‘warrior’ terminology in this country, in the way we train our families (how to relate with homecoming veterans). That’s what I want to start with ‘Pieces,’ and the video. I want to get a bridge between our civilian population and the veterans. And I want to reach into the rooms of some of these guys and girls — who are just sitting in the dark and watching TV all day like I did — and let them know: You’re not alone.”
Perhaps the most ironic thread of Cochran’s story coils back to the days of his first, true musical success. In 2007, one year after retiring from the Marines, he scored a country hit with “Friday Night Fireside,” the culmination of a childhood dream for a guy raised in Nashville. The accompanying video was voted No. 1 by Great American Country fans for five straight weeks.
courtesy of Stephen Cochran
After his the light-armoured vehicle crashed in Afghanistan, Stephen Cochran fractured vertebrae and suffered a traumatic brain injury in 2004. Told he would never walk again, an experimental procedure by VA surgeons restored his steps.
Two years later, Cochran became the national spokesman for research and development at the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs — his thank you for a successful, experimental surgery performed by VA surgeons who repaired his broken back. In 2004, Cochran had splintered several lumbar vertebrae when the vehicle in which he was riding through southern Afghanistan slammed into gaping hole that once held an anti-tank mine. He couldn’t feel or move his legs for months, and was told by doctors that he’d never take steps again. He walked.
The former Marine reconnaissance scout, part of the U.S. force that first knocked the Taliban out of Afghanistan’s Helmand Province, next teamed up with the VA to become its national co-chair for voluntary service. In that role, Cochran toured America, urging veterans to seek help for combat stress, “to let them know you don’t have to suffer in silence,” recalled Rosetta Fisher-Oliver, the VA’s chief of voluntary service for Tennessee and for parts of Kentucky and Georgia.
In 2011, Cochran recorded the music video “Hope” for the VA to try and cement his get-help pleas to fellow troops. What few knew: Cochran was losing his own hope.
“We worked on that video together, and the week he was supposed to make the video, I tried to get in touch with him, just to check to see that he was going to be on time,” said Fisher-Oliver.
She was unable to reach him, however, because Cochran was by then seeking treatment — after reaching the brink of suicide in his bedroom.
“Here’s a person who’s trying to get the message out and he’s still struggling with issues too,” she said. “He later told me: ‘I almost wasn’t here.’ ”
Cochran now acknowledges that he carried “almost dual personalities” during that time. In front of fellow veterans and fans, he sang, smiled, shook hands and signed autographs. “But I also had to deal with this monster I have inside my head and inside my gut, all day.” At home, his family and his then-fiancé, he admitted, took the brunt of his mood swings and emotional detachment.
courtesy of Stephen Cochran
After breaking his back in Afghanistan, Cochran was greeted by a fellow Marine. He later regained the ability to walk.
“You’re screaming out: Please help me understand what I’m going through, because I have no clue! That’s why you see the high number of divorces in the military,” Cochran said. “I told my fiancé: ‘I don’t know what I’m dealing with so the best thing for you to do is just leave and you’ll thank me later.' ”
She left.
But in what could have been Cochran’s final minutes, she came back, and burst into his bedroom.
After Cochran artfully turned that horrid moment into a song, he met the man picked to portray his downward spiral in the “Pieces” video: Daniel Dean, a Nashville songwriter and actor. He also looks a bit like Cochran. He seemed like a logical choice.
In talking with Dean, though, Cochran learned that the man was a Marine sniper who did three tours in Iraq. And they both had lived for years with the lingering anxieties that often remain for veterans who log months of combat exposure.
“He told me: 'This is my story, too,'” Cochran remembers. “That dude lived that.”
They also agreed with the concept that “Pieces” would be not just the first music video to delve so deeply into PTSD. It would break ranks with dozens of other standard, country-music videos about the U.S. military — mini movies that often include battle scenes that, some critics say, glorify war.
“Stephen does country music and so do I, and there’s a lot of military songs and a lot of them are pretty much B.S.” Dean said. “You’ve got the Toby Keith type stuff and that’s all right for what it is. But very rarely does a song hit a military person the way this one does.
“Just because it’s real. It’s one of the things I doubt you’ll hear any of the other country stars singing about. It’s (usually) more of the patriotic angle. Most military members aren’t songwriters like Stephen and I. So, I guess that lets us be able to sing things that you can’t say or can't deal with.”
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The lesson here is do something positive...despite the mess you may be in....anyone that deals with this issue knows the slippery slope that mounts....unless you take an agressive stand at getting BACK some of what makes you YOU to the people around you.....you will remain in the war for the rest of you life....
Outstanding job Stephan....I can see the passion....I like the versatility of the guitar and the keyboard. That is gonna take you a long way and you should not ever have to work another day in your life unless you compromise the essence of your craft....the MUSIC.
Generals jobs are supporting their troops. These 2-3-4-5-6 war tours for our brave soldiers. I have never once hear a General state, it's not humane on treating his brave soldiers like robots. While the Generals gain that next star on his shoulder, our brave soldiers come home suffering from these excessive tours. I'm still waiting for just one General on stepping up in front of Congress. Stating enough is enough!!!! Caring about his brave soldiers instead of that next star. This is a sad era and I put the blame on our Generals. Presidents need the Generals commits as they need others comments. Presidents don't need wimps that won't speak up in regards of military affairs. I just left a Veteran Hospital. This one nurse was almost in tears. From the lay-offs of other employees, when today we need them employees in our Veteran Hospital. This dead beat Congress we have, must stop. Without them working together for Americans needs. It's just sad at the out come we have seen. It still ticks me off hearing the House Minority Leader state(We are here to make our President a one term president. Without a word of being there for the Americans needs.
EVERYONE HERE-PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD: The VA is cutting funding for PTSD dogs effective October 5. There is already a severe backlog for Service Animals for all disabled folks and a bill in Congress now (Cong Israel and Grimm co-sponsors-sitting in Senate now, last I checked) to speed up the process for service members and veterans ("SM/V"). These are two different animals legally, and pets are a third group that help everyone, including SM/Vs' families, Pets. Contact YOUR lawmakers. It is Election Season. Find out about everyone on your ballot, what each candidate stands for and what the candidate has done-does the candidate walk the walk not just talk the talk. I contacted a certain US Cong immediately when I heard this and his staff, as usual, immediately responded. The large Northport VA is in his area and yes, people (voters) love SM/V and critters so it is a good idea no matter what you think about politics to do this. I also altered the plans for the non-profit being set up (happy I waited for a bar assn seminar on doing it just right) to include donations of services and money for uncovered expenses for SM/V for Service Animals, PTSD/TD dogs and pets, including veterinarian services, training, help adopting the right pet(s), food, other supplies, boarding, etc. The NP was originally for legislative changes and education for helping underdogs, starting with pets, SM/V and disabled folks. SM/V not only suffer but also economically, are in a bad position so that announcement from the VA was another in a long-line of lousy things to do.
These are the search terms I used on PTSD dogs for verterans, how they help, the VA's announcement Sept 12, etc.
PTSD dogs veterans october
Thank You, all the men and women that have served! This song is amazing, you did a great job Stephen!! I hope it will encourage all of our vets to seek help if they need it, and even if you dont think you need it, try it!
I met the man of my dreams 13 years ago, we would see each other every couple of months until the time he was home for a little bit getting ready to go over to Iraq. I was scared to death of what was going to happen to him. He was a young Marine ready to give it his all! So he served his time over there did his job, came home and decided to do it again.
He took an honorable discharge and left the Marines moved back to his home town where we hooked up again. Finally decided that I was the woman of his dreams, we just got married 3 weeks ago :) I have helped him with getting into the VA to seek help and without me by his side he would have sat quietly and not told the lady anything. He loves the Marines and cant see himself doing anything else in life besides being in the military, so now he is seeking to work on the f16 for the air force.
Whatever you all decide to do with your life, please go get help, you have done so much for our country that its not fair to you or your loved ones feel worthless. And most of your loved ones dont understand but being the wife of a Marine with PTSD, I do understand that when he's happy he wont smile, when he's sad he wont show it. But I know when he is. You just need to be patient.
I have lived with PTSD before there was a name for it. As a survivor, I would like to share how I dealt with it without Drs. or their drugs.
Love and control (or power) help put good stuff in your heart. The horrors that sufferers go through seem to overtake everything in our minds and hearts leaving no room for any of the good things that motivate us and give us reason to live. We need to find ways to push out the crap and refill our hearts and lives with love.
One way to accomplish this is to give. Your understanding of this issue gives you the unique ability to help others get through their own suffering. War is not the only thing that creates PTSD. Child abuse and drug abuse are two of the most common causes of PTSD. These sufferers also go through the hell that confines and separates us from "normal" society leaving them on the outside of everyday life.
As anyone who has volunteered will tell you, giving fills your heart with a joy that you just can't replicate any other way. Serving meals at a Mission or church, visiting with the elderly in an old folks home, helping out at an animal shelter, providing an ear at your local VA. All of these are things you can do to begin replacing the ugly with something beautiful and healing.
I am 53 now and still not complete, I don't think I ever will be. However, I do know that I have recovered to the point that I can love and be loved again. All of you fellow sufferers are capable of the same thing, maybe even more! Love, something, someone, somewhere...its more powerful than horror and can erase any ugly.
Spend time somewhere that has the potential for peace. bring your dog or whatever interests you and revel in the beauty of the simple things in life. Every moment you spend without ghosts is a moment you have won the fight!
Finally, know that you are not alone or forgotten. Try to reach out and if nobody takes your hand? then dammit! take someone elses that needs yours! I'm at hotmail if you need to talk
Im sitting here crying my eyes out reading your comments , like I said I thought this was just my story when I wrote it....I hope it helps heal...thats all ive ever wanted...I love each and every one of my vet brothers and sisters...and I want to keep you here, alive and well....Godbless yall and thank you for UNDERSTANDING and sharing OUR story and song! Please reach out to me anytime and for anything!~S.C~
I've worked at the VA for years and this is the first time I've ever heard of any of this, which I think is strange...........................
Simple, Feel Good Video that Speaks Volume! THERE CAN BE HAPPY ENDINGS!!!!
We need to let our Brave Heroes know:
They Are Loved by Their Country!
Loved by Their Families!
There Is Always Hope!
We Are Here For You!
As a member of a Syracuse, NY non-profit "Thank A Service Member" I would like to say THANK YOU to you and all fellow veterans for serving your country and fellow Americans. My ex-husband and a very dear friend suffer after serving in Vietnam so I have seen first hand the affects of this horrible malady. May you and all who suffer PTSD heal and with the love of God, your family and friends will return to the people you were before. Sincerely hope that your song goes #1 and stays there for quite awhile for all to hear.
Every generation of veterans have different experiences unique to the war they were in. The one common factor is that the psychology of trauma is the same maybe with a different name. I also have worked as a veteran advocate through some of my songwriting to bring attention to PTSD to the returning men and women of Iraq and Afghanistan. I was a Navy corpsman with a the Combined Action Platoons in Vietnam. My song: " No Shame In Cryin' " is dedicated to these same men and women to come in for help for their symptoms and seek compensation. My song can be heard at this link: Welcome Home, Walt Cronin
I am afraid if I watch this video, I'll never stop crying. My husband got TBI and PTSD from serving in Afghanistan and for 2 years upon his return, we lived this life you describe. He was doped up by the VA and once they did back surgery on him, never sober again for 6 months. One night he took too much morphine and never woke up...no one thinks it was suicide but I guess we will never know--regardless, he killed himself, either accidentally or on purpose. That was in February of this year. My son was a senior in high school and found his dad dead on the couch. My heart aches for all those who are going through this. My husband is the lucky one--no longer suffering. Please, please, please GET HELP and DO THE WORK, for your sake and your family's.
If anyone would like the song, you can get it here...The album will be out later this year..but if you know someone dealing with this, please sit them down and let them watch the video...Ive seen it help Godbless and im always here for any of my brothers and sisters.
I would greatly appreciate having ALL of military records! I have been diagnosed with PTSD. I experienced sexual military trauma. I reported an incedent that involved a German gate guard I did not know. I was sent to mental health not long after the incident. I had difficulty sleeping at night. I was placed in a small room and told to sit in a recliner with the lights out and listen to a relaxation tape. I would follow the tapes instructions and fall asleep. I recall speaking with a counselor as well. When I first sought medical care at a VA Hospital I was asked nosey ass questions...like have you ever experienced military sexual trauma. So I answered honestly. I was then told that I needed to seek mental health treatment at the VA hospital. I did. I was told by mental health that I needed to file a claim. I had no idea what they were talking about. The counselor explained and my response was that they could take the money and stick it up their ass. I was repeatedly told that I didn't understand and that I deserved to be compensated. Four years later I decided to file a claim. I am told that my mental health records do not exist. I am really pissed because my PTSD symptoms increased just trying to get through a claims process. Personally I think the government is full of @!$%# and I am so sick of the red tape and all of the road blocks in place to make it even far more difficult for veterans.I am well aware that I am not alone. I have spoken to fellow veterans at the federal bldg. in Indianapolis, Indiana. I also had a daughter die from cancer and her death was sickening. Her liver could not metabolize the meds in the end. The hospice nurse was crying and said that she had never seen anything like it in her life. I know the pain I feel. I watched my own daughter fighting to live and to go through years of suffering, just to live. I know that if I can do this...all of you can! Stay strong and keep your heads held high! Here is the thing...if they want us to get "help" than I suggest that OUR OWN GOVERNMENT STOP playing games and show us the LOYALTY, THE COURAGE, AND ALL THE OTHER BS THEY DRILL INTO OUR HEADS! NOW CARRY ON!
i would appreciate all of my military records. i am positive that the government should not have a problem with that!
i think it is the year that the veterans stood up for america and we the people!!!!
wishing you all a happy new year with much love, happiness, and peace within! god knows we need it!