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Allison Joyce / Reuters
Same-sex married couple Santiago Ortiz, an American, left, and Pablo Garcia from Venezuela, pose for a photograph in their home in Queens, New York on Monday. In the United States there are at least 28,500 bi-national same-sex couples in which one partner is a U.S. citizen and one is not. Many live with the threat that one of them could be deported.
Santiago Ortiz was deeply in love and, he believed, near death when he asked Pablo Garcia to leave his native Venezuela and join him in New York. There was no time to bother with a visa. Ortiz was HIV positive and he wanted Garcia with him.
That was 26 years ago. Ortiz, an American, is still alive. He and Garcia were married in Connecticut last year. And Garcia still does not have a visa. The Defense of Marriage Act, or DOMA, blocks federal recognition of same-sex relationships.
"I told him, 'I might die tomorrow, I might die in a month,'" recalled Ortiz, soon to be 57, about that romantic moment in Caracas 26 years ago. "I said, 'Don't wait. Come now.'"
The medical treatment of HIV has advanced markedly since the 1980s. Full legal acceptance of gay marriage still has a ways to go.
Their best hope for getting the same visa a heterosexual couple would be eligible for rests with the U.S. Supreme Court, which is expected to hear a challenge to DOMA this year in what could be a breakthrough for gay rights in America.
Although the two men were married in Connecticut, one of nine states that allows same-sex marriage, Garcia was denied his application for permanent residence — which is routine for foreign nationals in heterosexual marriages with Americans, even when the foreigner has overstayed his or her visa.
Garcia, 52, a playwright and a doctoral student in Spanish literature, remains in the United States illegally.
"He swept me off my feet," Ortiz, a retired school psychologist, said as he sipped coffee in the couple's colorful apartment in Queens. "For me, it's been easy. I can go wherever I want, I can travel, and Pablo has been there for me. Pablo doesn't have his papers and it's unfair."
There are at least 28,500 same-sex couples in the United States in which one partner is a U.S. citizen and the other is not, and 11,500 same-sex couples where neither partner is a U.S. citizen, according to the Williams Institute at the University of California Los Angeles.
This year, Barack Obama became the first U.S. president to endorse same-sex marriage, and in September his administration issued a policy that lesbian and gay couples be eligible for delays in deportation.
Even so, the wait has been excruciating for bi-national couples living with the threat that one partner could be deported.
"If you are hours from being put on a plane and being deported, there is relief (legal recourse)," said Rachel Tiven of Immigration Equality, a Washington-based group that is representing Ortiz and Garcia. "There is still no access to green cards or any other affirmative immigration benefit."
The Supreme Court was expected to decide whether it will hear a legal challenge to DOMA this session, and could make an announcement as soon as Friday.
'Baby Whisperer'
It took a decade of friendship for Maria del Mar Verdugo, a citizen of Spain, and Heather Morgan, an American living in New York, to realize they were in love and wanted to spend their lives together. They were married in 2011 and now share a sunny one-bedroom apartment near Columbia University in Manhattan.
Relaxing in their pajamas on a recent Sunday, they talked about living with the worry that Verdugo, who is 43, could lose her marketing job — and with it her employer's sponsorship of her work visa. Her current visa expires in 2013.
They long to have children, but say they are putting that off for now. Their preferred parenting roles — where Morgan, who works for a Jewish charity, would continue to work full-time and Verdugo would work part-time but stay home — is impossible as long as Verdugo's immigration status is attached to her job.
"I certainly always knew I wanted to be a mom. And Mar, if you see her with kids, she's like the baby whisperer," said Morgan, who is 36. "I guess more than anything we'd like to have the choice of when and how to raise children."
Still, they consider themselves fortunate because even the worst case scenario — Verdugo losing her work visa, and the couple having to relocate to Spain — would be tolerable. Spain is one of 11 countries that has legalized same-sex marriage and the couple has a network of friends and family in the country.
Another 14 countries also recognize same-sex couples for immigration purposes, but not the United States because of DOMA.
For Richard Dennis and Jair Izquierdo, who have been together for six years, Obama's 2011 directive came too late. Izquierdo, a 35-year-old makeup artist from Peru, came to New York in 2001 on a tourist visa and stayed on.
Two years ago, Izquierdo arrived at what he thought was a bridal job, but it turned out to be a sting operation and he was arrested. Several months later, in late 2010, Izquierdo was deported and given a 10-year ban on returning to the country.
The two speak or text several times a day, but Dennis, who is 49, says the home they bought together in Jersey City feels empty. Dennis said he has considered joining Izquierdo in Peru, but said he is reluctant in part because his own command of Spanish is poor.
"It hasn't split us up," Dennis said. "Physically it has, but not emotionally."
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Leave a Comment:
Why don't they go and live in Venezuala if the New York man is close to death? The jury will be out for a long time on this issue while our borders get overun with those who have no connection in the U.S. We give these illegals schools, welfare and free room and board at the local prisons at taxpayer expense.
It is a policy of bigotry of the most hateful kind to deny two loving people the opportunity to live here, just because they're gay.
ANY straight couple that gets married has the right to both live in America, so long as one is American. Why on earth should it work differently for gay people?
This bigotry has to end.
It's nice to see my wife was not the only one blinded by love. Do I see an Anchor Baby on the way?
A foreigner having a baby in the USA gives the parents no right to stay in the US.
There are no such thing as gay rights! All we have are American rights and we all started out equal in this account. Perhaps the term marriage should retain a religious meaning, and be kept within such ceremonies. Keep marriage restricted to religious organizations and have the state do civil commitments or partnerships, etc...with the same rights of course. Just a thought
Sounds like you've confused marriage (a legal contract) with holy matrimony (an irrelevant religious rite).
Or is it that you support Jim Crow laws in general, like whites-only drinking fountains?
The number of comments are indicative as to the importance of this article.
This is no big deal.....just backing from the Supreme Court that a marriage is being united to a person regardless of sex, color, gender, etc.
Like the leader of this Nation, the Supreme Court has become a joke.
"No big deal" unless the person you love is facing deportation, then it's the end of the world.
More bigotry.
kkwilson
You obviously have no understanding of the grand structure that our founders created protect all of us. It's called 3 separate but equal branches of the government and the SCOTUS has a role to play. It may be the prime 3rd when it comes to protecting individuals from the hatred and bigotry of the majority, which is why it probably drives you crazy.
What are you so bloody afraid of? Being around people who are different really can't hurt you unless you are about to explode from fear to start with.
I'm am American (and veteran), my wife is a legal immigrant and we are STILL are not allowed to leave and come back into the USA together as she does not have a Green Card. US Immigration, i.e. USCIS can kiss my a@@. We wait and wait and NOBODY helps despite being legal. The SYSTEM SUCKS for immigration here in America, yet illegals get pandered to. It sickens me and makes my love for America wane as each day passes. I wrote so many people for help from Obama on down, 19 people with snail mail and only 2 responses. Regarding same sex immigration, why not? I'm a Christian and I am all for whomever to get together as it does not infringe on me so why can't two people be together regardless of sex? There is no reason for the US government telling people who they can or can't be with and I am SICK of government control making Americans life miserable.
Why is this a gay issue? I went through hell and about $20K with lawyer, court and immigration fees to stay in the USA. I'm Canadian for Pete's sake. We're the evil country to the north, in case you forget.
I'm married to a US citizen.
It's not a gay issue. It's an immigration issue.
Stop pointing the blame in wrong direction.
People whining about issues they make up does no good for the
cause of all immigrants.
Stop bitching, pay the fees and get over it.
Maybe you should read the article?
You have a special privilege which is denied to same-sex couples because of DOMA.
Special? Really? $20,000 dollars is not a privilege.
It's robbery
And yet a gay couple can't get what you get even if they do hire an attorney. Sounds like you do have special rights.
You sound like a racist Southerner who whines about how blacks want equal rights.
I sent this on October 18th, 2012 snail maila nd only received 2 responses, both of which were canned responeses.
October 18, 2012
Dear USCIS, President Obama, Vice President Biden, Candidate Mitt Romney, Congressman Paul Ryan, Governor Chris Christy, NJ Senator Menendez, NJ Senator Lautenberg, Congressman Andrews, All members of Immigration, Refugee and Border Security Senators (Senators Shumer, Leahy, Feinstein, Durbin, Franken, Blumenthal, Cornyn, Grassley, Hatch, Kyl, and Sessions),
As a US Citizen I filed for a K-1 Fiancée visa in January 2011 after meeting my fiancée (NAME EDITED) in 2010. After patiently waiting for 1 year and 12 days from the day I filed my K-1 petition we were finally approved and my fiancée came to America with me from Thailand. While waiting for that exorbitant amount of time for our petition to be approved, I (like other folks) constantly saw all the illegal immigrants walk around, live and work with impunity in America. Some even holding signs saying about they have No Papers No Fear they are undocumented and even doing bus tours claiming they are not scared to be arrested. Try and put yourself in my situation of how I feel as a US Citizen being treated as if I am asking for much while I witness virtually every gas station and restaurant in my area having illegal aliens work there and yet like all legal immigrants we are made to jump through seemingly endless hoops of often redundant forms coupled with fees and the prolonged waiting periods.
We were married in March 2012, and are now waiting for our green card to be processed since then. First, we had a terrible time to get a marriage license-it appears that so few legally immigrate here anymore that they did not even know at the state level what a K-1 visa was. The delay caused impacted us so that we could not have a real wedding ceremony in time for the 90 day marriage requirement per K-1 visa laws. Then Social Security would not give us a Social Security card as they did not understand their own rules and I had to get Social Security Headquarters in Baltimore to intervene t educate my local office. We could not obtain ID from Department of Motor Vehicles New Jersey saying we needed 90 days or more remaining on a visa, but I explained we only had a 90 day visa and thank GOD I know a Chief of Staff in New Jersey to call the Director of DMV in New Jersey to work around the rules. We go for our appointment at USCIS Biometrics and they would not let me go with my wife to translate as I speak Thai daily after living in Thailand for 4+ months going back and forth as it pained me to be apart, but the same agent pandered to a Spanish speaker person right behind me and let them translate Spanish in front of me.
As am American I am disgusted, frustrated, angry and really feel like my country does not care about me and forsaken their own citizens by not enforcing existing immigration laws yet at the same time making the process horrific for American citizens. This entire K-1 fiancée visa process could be done in 2 weeks or less-period and I am familiar with Organizational Dynamics albeit like most US Governmental agencies it epitomizes inefficiency. Even at the US Embassy despite having excess room in the waiting area during my wife’s interview, I had to wait outside in 99 degree heat for 3+ hours during the interview because they said nobody could wait there despite interviews being held in a different building-how nice America treats their own citizens. I announced at my marriage reception that we could not even honeymoon outside of the US, and they her family could not attend as the US has a virtual denial stamp on everyone applying for a Thai Tourist Visa unless they are affluent. I literally cried explaining it to my guests as people sat in disbelief that the US government makes things so difficult for legal immigration.
At this point, sadly my respect, admiration and love for this country and government is deeply diminished. I’m ashamed at how America has treated my wife and I-she can’t believe how many problems our government has in processing things. In Thailand where I observed my wife obtaining documents, passport, updated ID and such, I can truthfully state things were like a well-oiled machine getting paperwork and made our system pale in comparison efficiency wise. We feel trapped here not being able to travel out of the USA and come back and paying all these egregious fees and waiting honestly makes me reconsider staying in America. Sure you can expedite my Green Card file number (EDITED), give us a 2 year conditional card and then get us to file all the redundant paperwork again and deal with some government bureaucrat with a condescending attitude acting like they are doing us a favor, but honestly the damage is done already. The only thing the United States can do is mitigate further damage to us it by giving us our green card and ensuring these problems do not happen in the future to someone else as the precedent set is to make the process challenging, prolonged and agonizing for a US Citizen to get their wife or fiancée over to the USA from another country. The US Government’s left hand does not know what the right hand is doing while the applicant pays fees and fills out volumes or redundant paperwork for advance parole, work, biometrics, et cetera all while getting essentially slapped in the face looking around at all the illegals in my area and on television getting pandered to.
I thought long and hard about sending this, but at this point someone needs to see how these policies makes me feel as it is infuriating and I know I cannot be alone in this regard. Redundant paperwork, inability to talk to USCIS on the phones, fees fees and more fees while illegals pay zero-the list seems endless as a legal immigration petitioner, so much so I will not waste more paper. At this time, I want our green card approved-there is no reason, none at all that it takes two years, the average time for the USCIS CSC California Service Center to pick up a stamp and put it on a piece of paper after so much paperwork has been provided over the course of 22 months that it needs to sit there for over another year as it is anticipated that we are not approved for our Green Card until the end of 2013! There is also no reason why as a US Citizen I should be waiting longer for my wife to be approved for a green card while non-citizens can apply and get visas to come to America for education, work, religious activities, tourists faster than American citizens can get their wife (K-3) or Fiancée (K-1) visas.
Sincerely,
Gary E. Meyer, US Citizen, USN Veteran, Business Owner