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Subscribe to RSSNBC's Keir Simmons takes a look at how countries around the world are mourning the unbelievable tragedy that has shaken Newtown, Conn.
NEWTOWN, Conn. -- It's not a conversation parents expect they'll have with their kids: But Shari and Andrew Paley were doing just that, talking with their identical twins, Ben and Ethan, about the shooting at their school that left 20 of their fellow students dead.
Ben and Ethan, a pair of articulate and observant nine years olds, had many questions and much commentary for their parents about the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School, where they are in the fourth grade.
“We know lots of things that we shouldn't know,” Ethan said Saturday while talking with a reporter and munching on a green-frosted, white-sprinkled, crème donut.
John Makely / NBC News
Shari and Andrew Paley, with their children Jacob, 3, Ethan, 9 in green jacket, and Ben, 9, in black jacket.
His mother said earlier he had noted that he has lived through a tornado, two hurricanes and now this.
“Remember what we talked about last night, that sometimes when something really bad happens you learn to appreciate what you have,” she told the boys. “You don't take any(thing) for granted.”
Ethan and Ben were at school Friday morning when the alleged shooter, Adam Lanza, opened fire, taking the lives of their fellow students and six administrators, including their principal.
Story: Talking to kids about school shooting: Be calm
Ethan was in the gym for an ice skating exercise, when they heard a loud bang. His teacher taped up the windows to the door and told them to hide in a corner. Ben was in the art room, and they later had to run out to safety.
“We heard the bangs. We heard the policeman say, 'Stop.' We heard the guy scream when he was shot,” Ben said (Lanza took his own life, authorities say).
“It was scary there,” Ben said, later noting that he cried about the shooting. “Ethan did, too,” he added.
There's no guidebook for these kinds of parent-kid conversations, said Shari, 39, and a speech pathologist.
“I'm just letting them talk. They actually have a lot of questions and I'm trying to answer them the best that I can,” she said. “I'm just going with it.”
Story: Slain hero teacher: 'She loved those students more than anything'
When asked if they knew everything about what happened, Ben said no, though they were aware that 28 people had died.
Psychiatrist Dr. Gail Saltz explains how adults can help children cope with the senseless tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut.
“I gave them a little bit of information at a time because I didn't want them to find out from somebody else,” Shari said. “I didn't want them to turn on the TV and hear it. I wanted to be the one that explained it to them.”
She said she didn't hide anything and progressed from telling them that a lot of people got hurt to eventually including teachers and then children in that group. “They've been … pretty in control. ... We're just kind of answering their questions and reassuring them that they're safe. We're following their lead.”
The boys shared some of the different rumors they'd heard: that the gunman had mini-machetes and they speculated about which teacher had been wounded in the foot.
“Well, we don't know that,” their mom said of the latter report. “That's the other problem, is that I don't really know all of the facts. … that's the other reason why I am kind of cautious.”
At a local donut shop, the twins ran into friends from school, happily chatting with them. They also twirled around in swivel sofa chairs in front of a television airing coverage of the investigation and the deaths, with one of the boys saying, “breaking news.”
“The only thing that I mean I'm hurt by is ... by sadness,” Ben said.
When asked if he had any worries about returning to school, Ethan said: “Yes, I do have a fear of going back. I mean what if they struck again when we're back to school?”
“That's not going to happen,” Shari said. “It was one bad guy and they got that bad guy.”
His dad, who picked up the boys from the fire station where they had been evacuated to after the shooting, then told him it was OK to be scared. But he also later noted that he was scared that his son was scared, and lamented the loss of their beloved principal, Dawn Hochsprung, who he knows would have been a steady, compassionate hand for the twins on their return to school.
Shari said she hadn't thought about the boys returning to school, one of the questions that Ben has been asking.
“I'm scared for them, just emotionally, their emotional well-being, feeling comfortable to be at school,” she said. “They spend more time at school than they do at home, it's kind of like their home away from home in a way. So if they don't feel safe at their school home -- it's just really important.”
Siblings and cousins of Vicky Soto, who died after gunfire erupted in her first-grade classroom at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut, remember the teacher who loved the color green, Christmas and, most of all, her students.
Story: Portrait of the victims: A twin, talented teachers
Ben has also been asking if he can attend all of the funerals. Shari believes it's his way to say goodbye to the victims.
“I think he's putting it together, like kids died there (at the school) and then how do they move from there and where do they go and what happens to them,” she said.
But she is not sure she wants him to go, saying they'll talk about it but also suggesting he write letters to the families.
“You want to shelter your kids as much as you can,” she said. “I don't know it's a process ... that I'm trying to figure out myself.”
When gunfire broke out inside Sandy Hook Elementary, members of the school's staff and outside community rushed to shield students and help guide the victims to safety. NBC's Miguel Almaguer reports.
Leave a Comment:
mytoosenze is right in my opinion...in anyones miracle world you could take away all guns and yet I can promise you that some deranged individual would find a way to harm innocent people. It is not about the guns..it is about human beings being aware of each other and paying attention to what goes on in their community. Its about caring about someone you do not know. Unfortunately the world does not work this way and soon in a few weeks the media will leave Newton and cover some other horrible incident some where else...maybe even in my neighborhood. Lets just hope we all can learn something from this and not politicize this or make it about guns or religion. This is about humanity and what each of us should do to protect each other.
Doesn't matter. There is no legitimate reason to allow private ownership of assault weapons.
Of course it's about guns. It is ALSO about those other things.
Its way past time to ban the private ownership of assault weapons.
So, making guns illegal will take the off the streets? We should make heroine and meth illegal too!
Very few people are talking about making guns illegal.
We all know things we shouldn't know about this, and several other incidents like this that have happened recently. How does this information enrich our lives and make us better people? It doesn't. Shame on the media.
It's better than letting the media decide what we shouldn't know.
What are you proposing? Ignorance??
To have a twin with the same experience would seem to be a huge advantage for these two in dealing with this horror.
One gallon of an everyday item we all use in our cars, it's something that anyone can walk in and buy at the supermarket or the neighborhood auto store. One gallon, used in a manner that it is not intended, could kill more children and adults than were killed at Colombine, Va. Tech and Sandy Hook total. It's not about politics, religion or guns. It is about the person and what is going on in their mind. If it is someone's will to harm, they will find a way.
No reason to make it easy for them.
We need to license and register guns just like we do with cars, fishing, hunting and dogs. If they love their guns that much, then they can pay a license fee every year to own them. Also, they should have to get insurance on them. That way, if any of the the guns that they have cause damage, then the insurance can pay the bill.
It is so wrong for mother of the twin boys to keep them from the funerals of their friends. She is imprinting her fears and inability to cope with life on her boys. Suck it up lady and let them go. Let them say good bye in their own way. If they don't want to go, don't make them.
It will take awhile for these kids to feel safe again. Give them that time and talk to them. But don't keep harping on what happened. Kids tend to move on, in a healthy way, rather quickly. Some won't. Grief is an individual feeling and there are no rules. Parents who force their grief "rules" on a child are harming them. Just because they aren't crying every day for the next month or year does not mean they don't miss and grieve for their dead classmates.
Sierra.. Who are you, to tell another mother that is actually living this horrible event that she is wrong and harming her children. It is damn arrogant to tell another mother how she should react and how to deal with her own and her childrens grief!
I have a stock pile of deadly portable power tools all of which could bring horrible injury and death. As harsh as it sounds a gun does offer a clean way to kill in comparison. Just a though for the gun haters.
Oh you silly gun nuts! You think you could have killed half as many as this 20 year old gun nut, in the same time, using a 18v Ryobi? How silly!
@ Roadkill BUZZZ !
Why won't the "officials" mention the capacity of the magazines, this murderer was using? My guess it's stacks of 30+ mags.... just ready to go. It took no time at all, to shoot these first graders multiple times! Also, if the authorities hadn't arrived, when they did, this creep would have continued! If he had to reload MANY times, there may have been one less death. Think about it.
He apparently had hundreds of rounds left, and yet stopped shooting to kill himself. Who knows?
He shot himself when the police showed up.
correct me if i'm wrong but wasn't the shooter's weapon a 22 cal rifle not unlike the caliber of a pellet rifle kids use to shoot birds and small animals. Perhaps if he had a 44 cal pistol he would have had to reload more often.
SteveYo -
So because my husband & I own 2 Glocks & want to buy an AR-15 rifle, that means that we are "either crazy or have violent tendencies. There is no justification for owning something that can only be used to massacre."???? You don't know what you're talking about.
We bought both of our Glocks 2 years ago. We both have our CCW permits from Arizona. We are in our 50s and gainfully employed. We just enjoy taking our guns to the range and shooting a few hundred rounds. And yes, we are both Republicans. Does that make us want to massacre anyone? Hell no! It simply means we enjoy going to the range. And if my life is threatened, I will try my best to eliminate the threat. So your post seems completely illogical to me!
I would hope you keep your firearms under lock & key, when not in use. Naw, you probably keep it loaded under your pillow.... How foolish of me! ~smacks forehead~
(ps - Have you had your mental health check-up, this year?)
To Lisa: With all the welfare losers being encouraged to breed out of control by Obama and the Libtards, you are wise to arm yourself. The day will come when these Obama fed welfare losers will come to take what is yours and will want to harm you in the process. Sounds like you will be ready, and that is a good thing!
Lisa,
When was the last time you NEEDED a gun?
Americans are in love with their weapons. It's the only developed country on earth that acts in this manner and its also the only one that has mass shootings. Do you really NEED that AR-15? Really?
What if someone broke into your house when you weren't home, stole your weapons and used them on others? Then would you think maybe it wasn't such a great idea to buy those things?
Steve.. when not at home, people can keep there weapons locked in a gun safe.
marmee, Mi
But do they? How many kids have been killed/wounded from improperly stored guns?
Bottom line is we are better off without them.
Seems to me it is all about hate. Hate enough and you qualify as mentally ill and will likely act out in some fatal fashion.
And there is enough hate demonstrated on these threads daily (pick a topic) to set off some wack-job.
Truly sickening. And praying to imaginary mythical gods helps nothing... and promotes denial. Dealing with facts is more helpful in the long run. I sincerely hope these families will someday learn to cope with the bottomless grief they are now suffering. Humans are truly the most dangerous animal on this planet. The stresses caused by overpopulation and competition is making the weaker humans snap.
No more than the truth...
Gun nuts want their guns to protect themselves from criminals and the government.
Normal people want the government to protect them from gun nuts and criminals.
yeah, and two plus two equals five! another clueless libtard guncontrol fool has posted
keep with the insults, NRA troll.
You people really have no way to debate this so you just name call. Pathetic.
Sayiitlikeitis - I couldn't agree more with what you said. Hopefully the day never comes when I have to defend myself but I am "locked & loaded" just in case it does come.
And this is what we have become...
No criticism... just a result of what we feel as everyday citizens is necessary to protect family and ourselves.
I see no solution. We are following the lead of criminals.
This has to stop. We must regulate guns, change laws, and ramp up harsher penalties. Get thugs off the street...
This bull@!$%# "he was such as good boy" doesn't cut it anymore. But I also do not want to be sitting at home with a loaded weapon in my lap for protection for my family.
I'd rather zap criminals in an electric chair or gas them, than have to live this lifestyle in fear for my family.
Lisa,
You are paranoid.
SteveYo: You are in denial and clueless of real-world reality. Hows that Obamacare workin' for ya?
Yo Steve..Lisa is not paranoid, she is a smart women, prepared to defend herself.
marmee, Mi
Defend herself against what?
She caries a concealed weapon. People should fear her. Is that some sort of twisted power trip?
sAyItLiKeItIs - I live in Canada. We've had "Obamacare" for decades. Its working out perfectly fine, which is why we still have it. Look out. If you get cancer you'll lose your home.
OK, I admit it. If I am around anyone that I am aware carried a concealed weapon... it makes me nervous and very uncomfortable. Not so much that they do not know how to handle the weapon safely and properly... but that we could have a vigilante on the streets.
Sorry, I just do not see the need. WHY would you carry a concealed weapon? Is it like smoking cigarettes? An addiction? What would you do with it? Shoot a suspected robber, assailant or kidnapper? Or maybe you would be pissed off enough to shoot your boss or the guy who cut you off in traffic.
Hey, I grew up in a home loaded with hunting rifles and shotguns. All took hunter safety. All went hunting. Guns are made to KILL. Its been 60 years since I first shot a 22 rifle as a 6 year old on my parents farm. I get the message.
I just do not see why a citizen feels they have to be armed on the street. Are you expecting an invasion? Maybe your trigger finger itches... That's what worries me.
Finally.. failure to lockup your weapons and ammunition to prevent ANYONE from gaining access is unforgivable!
Steve..maybe you should come to Chicago, that has anti gun laws, take a walk down the street and see how safe you feel.
I lived in Chicago for a year and visit often. Never felt any danger.
Paranoia is one the many Americans' biggest problems..and their denial of it.
to SteveYo: Yeah, Canadian socialized medicine is working so well that Canadians who can afford to come into the US for treatment... not everyone can wait 8 months for a doctors appointment or 10 months to see a dentist... which is what happens with socialized medicine. Anytime the government takes control of something the costs go up and the quality goes down. Look at governmnet backed student loans... the cost of college has skytrocketed, student debt is at 1 trilltion dollars, and most of those that took the gov backed loans dropped out and should never have been going in the first place... Socialized medicine is a failure, and the middle class will be destroyed by it.
Dude. Last time I was sick I drove to a walk-in clinic and was treated within 5 minutes. I don't have a clue what you are referring to, but it's total BS.
You get your "facts" from Fox?
This country no longer sits at the table of civilized nations.
The only western country with the death penalty, no publicly funded health care system, scoffs at established science, accepts policy driven by religion, condones torture....and how can we forget our fanatical out-of-control gun culture. Good thing we have football...oh, wait.
Nice summary. So sad and true.
Americans really are in denial of their shortcomings.
Here comes the "greatest nation on earth" defense crap...and the libtard crap...
So sad....
@SteveYo
possibly the reason for America being the "greatest nation on earth" as you stated is because of it's access to guns to balance the power of government.
Evil lives in the hearts of men in government as well as the ones that make up the population. Only a Fool would deny that and lay down his arms to be govern by a body.
warren - you have got to be kidding!
Are you referring to the people who have assassinated presidents???
BTW it's far from the greatest nation on earth. Many countries HAVE easy access to health care, don't have mass shootings, don't have a massive gap between rich and poor, and aren't about to go over a fiscal cliff.
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Maybe children would be a litttle less frightened if the media toned down the coverage.
Did a little less talking to children about it. Less to others.
TV and cable news are going all out to fill the ether even when they have nothing new to report.
And they keep carping on what reason did Lanza have for the killings.
Even if he were still alive whatever reason he gave would make no sense. He was insane!
.
.
The anti gun crowd seems to be saying if there were no guns, there would be no murders or mass murders.
Tell that to the parents of the 30+ children slashed to death by knives in Japan just a few years ago. Tell that to the parents of the 20+ children slashed just a few days ago in china.
We are a murderous species. Were before guns. Will be if no guns.
.
No, William, that's not what we're saying.
We are saying there should be less access to them, and there shouldn't be civilian access to anything that isn't a defensive or hunting weapon.
A rubber band could be the best defensive weapon you can own in the administrations eyes. restrictions are only a reson for total goverment control.
Twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38
when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate.
their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.
they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.
they were filled with such joy, they didn't know what to say.
...
...they remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.
"where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.
"this is heaven." declared a small boy. "we're spending Christmas at God's house."
when what to their wondering eyes did appear,
but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
then He opened His arms and He called them by name.
and in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring
those children all flew into the arms of their King
and as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,
one small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face.
and as if He could read all the questions she had
He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad."
then He looked down on earth, the world far below
He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe
then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
"Let My power and presence re-enter this land!"
"may this country be delivered from the hands of fools"
"I'm taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools!"
then He and the children stood up without a sound.
"come now my children, let me show you around."
excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.
and i heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
"in the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."
Written by Cameo Smith, Mt. Wolf, PA
I have copied this and plan on distributing it and sending a copy to Newton in care of my nephew and his wife who reside just outside of Newton. Thank you gain for sharing it.
I would hope that reasonable people would accept reasonable restrictions on firearms. I keep my guns locked away. Yes, If I feel threatened, they are more accessible. But, the only time ANYONE BUT ME can access them is...... never. Also, I would accept a REASONABLE mental health evaluation. I would even pay for it. (I could show my friends the results... maybe!) I would ALSO accept a couple surprise inspections to check if my guns are secure, if the local law enforcement felt the need to check! Basic gun safety education is a must! Take responsibility, gun owners! If you're not part of the conversation, you can't help make the rules! And, remember, it only takes 50% + 1 to put power over your lives!
If people are afraid of Guns why not buy one and make friends with it. It could be the only friend you have when someone wants to kill you or your family. If you are depending on the police dont. Chances are if you call them they will be too late and possibly take you to jail in the hysterical Fog they thrive in. Good luck sheep.
You are twice as likely to be killed by your own gun, than to shoot a bad guy defending yourself with it!
nite all
If it's not guns, it would be knives, broken bottles, molotov cocktails, gunpowder, an out of control vehicle or some other homemade device. You can ban all guns from the citizens and then we will have created more criminals. Are we going to ban any sharp instrument, vehicles and all else. No: that's impossible; we need to teach our children when they are young that the people who commit these crimes are not heroes or people to be emulated.
MY HEART IS SADDENED AND MY THOUGHTS ARE WITH ALL THE VICTIMS AND PEOPLE INVOLVED!!!! THANKFULLY WHEN TRAGEDIES AND DISASTERS HAPPEN MANY PEOPLE COME TOGETHER TO HELP; COMPARED TO THE HEARTLESS FEW WHO WANT TO CREATE HAVOC AND EVIL DESTRUCTION.
How fast can you kill someone with a broken bottle? Kill 26 in less than 10 minutes? What if they struggle, wiggle, or run around?
lets go and watch a movie and see how they kill them all in anyway they can think off. control guns. that don't mean anything they will just find another way.
This is not the time or place to fight over gun control, and fight is the word, now it's words flying back and forth, what's next, my clubs bigger than yours?? From what I've read this could become a war right here. I hope your not all in the same area. It could get ugly.
My heart goes out to the familys and the children that are dealing with this horrific thing.
those Syrian, Palestinian, Israeli and Pakistani kids must be talking all the time.