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NBC 4 New York
Bernard Bey, 32, of Brooklyn
A 32-year-old Brooklyn man is suing his parents, claiming he wasn't loved enough by them and that their neglect has caused him to be homeless and jobless.
Bernard Bey filed a self-written lawsuit in Brooklyn court earlier this month, accusing his parents of causing him mental anguish and for making him feel "unloved and beaten by the world."
"If you have kids, you're expected to love your children," Bey told NBC 4 New York. "You want the best for your children."
Bey claimed he was physically and emotionally abused and ran away from home when he was 12, and then was in and out of the shelter system after turning 16.
He's spent time in jail and is now homeless, and he believes his parents are at the root of his problems.
Bey is asking the court for more than $200,000 in damages. He wants his parents to mortgage their family home and purchase two franchises like Domino's Pizza.
"I feel like my parents should want the best for their children and grandchildren so we have something to pass down for generations so we don't have to live like this," he said.
Bey's parents, who live in public housing, said they're not in a position to give up any money. His stepfather named in the suit, Bernard Manley, had some choice unprintable words and maintained Bey is not his biological son.
Bey said he is willing to drop the lawsuit if his family will simply sit down at the dinner table with him.
"Let's work together, and definitely, I'll drop the suit," he said.
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I bet if everyone whose parents abused them could sue them, they would do so. There has to be some sort of statute of limitations. Don't get me wrong, child abuse is repugnant behavior. It is also illegal. However if it's years after the fact and there's no evidence other than his word against theirs, I doubt his claims will stand up in court.
Three of my adult children feel the same way as you Bernard Bey. Although none of my children are homeless, my adult sons still live at home, they feel "unloved and beaten by the world." My children had a very priveledge lifestyle. I tried to give them everything while they were growing up. But they grew up believing that the world owe them something. The world owes them a job. The world owes them a comfortable lifestyle. Their attitude is give me, give me, give me. If you don't give it to me I'll take it. That's your attitude as well. Because your parents didn't give or couldn't afford to give you the lifestyle that you thought you should have, now you want to take what you want by using the court system. Well no one owes you anything. There are so many people out here who started out with absolutely nothing, no parents, no education, no help. But by the grace of God and pure detemination they made it. Our forefathers came to this country with absolutely nothing and made it. So many black people came out of slavery with absolutely nothing and made it. Mexicans and other foreigners who don't speak our lanquage come here every year and make it. You could make it if you try. My question is, did you ever try? Or did you grow up believing that the world or someone owe you something. Study the world history and you will find out that all that you see now started from nothing and someone worked very hard to achieve what we have today.
MY MOTTO IS: I DON'T WANT SOMEONE TO GIVE ME SOMETHING, OPEN UP THE DOOR AND I'LL GET IT MYSELF.
END THE BROKEN WELFARE SYSTEM. TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND TO MAKE A LIVING FOR THEMSELVES.
You could give your adult sons who live with you the tools to find a job (help them with their resumes, clothes appropriate for an interview, teach them how to wash and iron said clothes, and give them a book on how to successfully interview) and then give them a deadline for moving out. Maybe in 6 months? Might depend on the job market where you live but it's a thought...
Maybe it's because you "tried to GIVE them everything" that they are the way they are. I have a step-son that is the same way and still mommy wants to baby and coddle him...he's 32 years old, doesn't work, is in trouble with the law for pot (too stupid to quit) and mommy wants me to support him while he does house arrest at my home. I have had enough.....the divorce has been filed.....I'm taking my paycheck and leaving. He'll eventually end up in prison somewhere. MY kids are grown and making it on their own. Mommy doesn't want to work either......against her delicate constitution....just like her spoiled baby. Good riddance....
And, Redmoth......those are ADULT children....show them the door. They've had every chance.....
I'm sure this is all just a publicity stunt.
I read these comments about "he should be allowed to sue, they should sit down to dinner w/him, the parents are to blame". Boo Hoo.
I guarantee you if you were in the parents shoes you would not sit down w/ this person for dinner. My child has been acting out since 8th grade. We have bent over backwards trying to help her, support her, love her you name it. Only to have it thrown back in our face. Ran away at 12? You do not know the story. Yet you judge.
My husband has been the stepfather of my child since she was 8 months old only for this child to say to him at about 8th grade "you're not my father". Oh yes I would tell him to turn & keep walking & don't want to see your face again. Child or not. Harsh? No. Been there done that. Still dealing w/an ungrateful ADULT!
8th graders are still children and will still be disrespectful and test their limits. That is to be expected. He should have said, "I will always be your father and always love you, but you must respect me." Sounds like your daughter is blaming you for her problems. Did you try family counselling? Would she be willing to go now? Maybe it could help your family. It's never too late.
Nonsense, redmoth. Where is it written that parental (or filial) love be unconditional? The same page in The Family Circus Contract Law Handbook where it claims that one family member "must respect" another, by virtue of age, social status, size, kinship relation, or purchasing power?
Deserve my respect, and you'll get it. And I cannot pretend to love the unlovable, the ungrateful, the spiteful, the hateful, the selfish, the unreasonable - even if I were responsible for bringing them into and up in this world. . .
Yes, redmoth.....sometimes it is too late......enough is enough......."tough love".
Next think you know, he'll want to sue *my* parents for loving me *too* much and equipping me with ethics and drive, nurturing my talents and skills, which give me an unfair advantage in the world.
We're ultimately all responsible for ourselves, and owe it to ourselves to achieve as much as we can. Nobody owes us *anything*.
You have to be kidding me, sue your parents for not loving you enough, come on be real. If this law suit is let go forward then I think the parents shouid counter-sue for parental abandonment for when he ran away from home, and also counter-sue him for not being a lovable enough son. I mean fair is fair and turn about is fair play. No where is there anything that promises me a rose garden, all I was promised was that I would have a life, and it was up to me how I chose to make my life good, bad, or indifferent. I mean any child that runs away and then 14 years later wants to sue his parents for not loving them enough should be mentally evaluated. I am now understanding more and more what the term entitlement means I guess.
Right.
Yep. Probably should have been born to rich parents too - guess that is their fault as well.
Life is what you make it. Some folks are born lucky - RICH parents that love them to death but don't spoil them. I was the luckiest of all - great parents - not a lot of money - but the love - amazing. Sorry not everyone has that.
Thanks Mom and Dad.
As far as this guy suing his parents - yep - nothing brings a family closer than a lawsuit..... Sure - we can have dinner together if you don't sue us...?
MAYBE....just sit down with your folks - don't BLAME them for YOUR situation - but talk to them about what you would like - tell them that you wish you were closer. However - the fact MAY be that....let's see - I'll try to be delicate....maybe they did the BEST that they could AND you are a HOMELESS LOSER and...they washed their hands of you.... Yes - parents can have enough - a child is a wonderful thing - but - they are also not supposed to ruin the lives of their parents. MAYBE - they have just had enough.
Go ahead and sue. Can I come to Thanksgiving...with a film crew?
Whether or not this man is of his right mind there are many people who should not be parents. In many cases they don't love or encourage their children. I volunteer at an elementary school and see kids who are physically abused and those whose parents don't value an education. They are preparing their kids to reap all the benefits the government allows.
If you aren't interested in spending time with and loving your children then tie the tubes and snip whatever needs snipping to ensure you don't have any offspring.
That is why the government handouts need to stop. I work at an Elementary school and parents of many of the kids that get free breakfast and lunch drive very expensive SUVs. Some people take and take and only blame others for their problems. America has gotten soft. We need to make people go out and earn their living. After all, those of us who work are getting tired of supporting those who choose not to.
This nonsense should be dismissed immediately and this fool should be smacked upside the head.
This 32 year old man should stop playing the blame game, quit getting wasted and get a real job.
Where are all of the "real jobs" for everyone who is unemployed and would love one? There are actually many fewer decent jobs than job-seekers. It's probably easy to judge from where you're standing, but I'm sure someone helped you get where you are, somewhere along the way.
I am 64 years old and have had 4 jobs in 4 years. It CAN be done if you just apply yourself and LOOK.
I read this article and laugh. Your parents are responsible to make sure you have food, clothing, and a roof over your head. Once you become an adult, your choices are just that... your choices. This bum rejected his family at 12, and for a reason that is not given, did not go back. He lived in shelters. His choice, or the courts. We don't really know. I had a horrid childhood. Taught me how not to treat my children. Yet I still have one child that swears I "abandoned her" when she most needed me. Your choices as an adult are just that.... your choices. Pull up the pants, get cleaned up, and get a job... and a life... your parents are not responsible for you forever....
I left home at 16 and never looked back. I made it just fine without my parents intervention (except now they ask me for money). I will never understand anyone who had a bad childhood and then blames that for their lack of success. Go out there and get your piece of the pie and quit whining.
I have to agree with the "grow up" side. Beethoven had a positively wretched childhood. Charles Dickens grew up in unimaginable poverty. As a more recent example, Clarence Thomas came from nothing to be a Supreme Court Justice. It's all about what you DO with your life. Wishing will not change anything.
first if you jobless/homeless as a result of nothing you can control, you have my sympathy. if you are having mental issues, please seek some help. however, you're 32, you have been an adult for 14 years, GROW UP, be a man and take care of your business, many children suffer emotional, physical and yes sexual abuse, and although we may never forget, or heal the wounds completely, we move on. you need to do the same.
There are plenty of programs around to help homeless unemployed people get the assistance they need to break that cycle if they truly want to work at it. This man is 32 and old enough and intelligent enough to understand some of the circumstances that have led him to where he is. Somewhere in his 20"s he should have stopped wasting all his energy blaming them and taken control of his own life. Sure as a society we want parents ot love and nurture their children but there is no law to quantify that and all parents are legally responsible for is food, clothing, shelter, adequate medical care and sending the kids to school.
I'm sorry he had a sad childhood but no lawsuit will change that. He is now in his adulthood and is responsible for his own success or failure. If your parents don't love you then put them behind you, sad as that is, and get on with your life. You can't make them love you by court order.
...1) what a frivolous law suit! 2) have you ever heard such an outrageous passing of the buck for one's own inabilities? and a grab for money to boot!
In this ridiculous, litigious society, everyone is trying to get money from other people. Stuff happens folks - equipment conks out on cruise ships causing you to excrete into bags, and some parents are better than others. Get over it.
Human life is similar to almost every living thing that
God had created on this earth.
We live, die and recycle like my garden.
I don’t recycle my vegetable seeds.
I purchase fresh seeds every year.
Could someone explain to me why are some
of my vegetable plants and vegetables heather then others?
Could it be the plant the seeds came from?
Off the subject but..... they now engineer plants so they can not reproduce thus you must buy seeds every season.
On the subject....I have a son in his 40's still blaming me for his upbringing. I worked my self to death trying to give him all I could. At one point he wanted his inheritance in advance. LOL You have to do for yourself and not expect your parents to carry your load. We are all here to learn lessons and sometimes the lesson is to let go and hope they will grow into the kids we raised. Bless us all
All I can say to this guy is STFU, get a life and move on. I wonder if the father married his mother after he took off. Wal-Mart is hiring all over the country, So are the dollar stores. He went to Tech School. What I want to know is his sense of self-worth?
I can't call this guy a man or a boy. He's just a spoiled brat that needs his butt kicked some more. Ran away, lived on the system, druggie, felon, all his fault.
At some point it comes down to individual responsibility. Stop pouting like a spoiled brat and get a life! At least he wasn't aborted.
For the courts to entertain this law suit and not throwing his ass out....all of them should be replaced...secondly..i had no love...i worked my life out on my own...left when I was 17 sincemy step father kicked my ass everyday for no reason...real father passed when I was 5 yrs old...I went into the military then when leaving there worked a career and retired ...one thing I did was make sure the family I had wouldnt have to go through what I suffered...this lame ass of what is suppose to be a man should stop being a spoiled brat thinking he is entitled..I hope he reads this. I will give u the love I got and whoop your butt...move on in your life and do something with it..blame yourself not your MOTHER.
How I wish I still had my parents with me. I think there is something wrong with someone that resents his parents so much to do this. He should thank his lucky stars his parents are still with him.
All he had to do was, and he probably did, to move out upon graduation from high school and never look back.
I saw this guy at one of the OWS rallies. He was carrying sign which read LOVE IS A RIGHT.
Typical vastly deluded "Gen Y" logic, which is to blame all problems on someone else and never to admit personal accountability and responsibility, really . . .
Really! :-o
This is a headline that The Onion would be proud of.