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Nearly 20 years after being ripped apart from his foster parents, a 32-year-old man was officially adopted Friday in San Diego, Calif., by the woman he has always considered to be his mother.
Maurice Griffin was abandoned as a baby. At age three, he found a loving family in foster parents Lisa Godbold and her husband, Charles.
“The whole reason we got into foster care in the first place is because we wanted to adopt Maurice,” recalled Godbold.
Over the next 10 years, Godbold and her husband eventually became Griffin’s foster parents, giving him the stable, happy home he had always dreamed of.
“It was a great, loving family,” said Griffin, remembering the trips to Sunday school and brunch with his foster family.
But Griffin’s happy family life didn’t last long.
Griffin says the foster system failed him, and he was abruptly taken away from the family at age 13. He and Godbold didn’t want to get into specifics about why Griffin was taken from the family, but both of them agreed it was a very painful and difficult time.
“It’s like being abducted from your family and being told to deal with it,” said Griffin.
“It was torture; it broke our hearts,” added Godbold. “Not knowing where he was and not being able to have contact with him was like having a child abducted.”
From there, Griffin bounced from other foster homes to group homes, where he says he was abused and mistreated.
Through the years and tough times, Griffin held on to his fond family memories.
Meanwhile, Godbold tried time and time again to find her long lost foster son – never giving up.
In 2009, Godbold tracked Griffin down on the internet using social media. From that point on, they vowed never to lose each other again.
Their enduring mother-son bond led them to a San Diego courtroom Friday, where Godbold officially adopted Griffin as her son.
”I’m excited – this is 20 years overdue,” said Griffin minutes before heading into the courthouse with his soon-to-be mother.
Though the adoption proceeding was short, Griffin said it was the moment he’s been waiting for all his life.
“This is probably the happiest moment in my life. I love my family and I’m happy to be home,” said Griffin, adoption paperwork in hand.
Godbold was also overwhelmed with emotion and said adopting Griffin – even at 32 years old – was a privilege.
“This completes the circle. He’s always been my son, but this just completes the circle,” she added.
Griffin now joins Godbold and her two biological children to form a happy family once again. Sadly, Godbold’s husband passed away during the time they lost contact with Griffin.
Griffin said he would have loved to be adopted by Charles Friday too, as he was a man he always admired and loved. Both Godbold and Griffin believe Charles was proudly watching over them on this special day.
Their story of family, love, loss, struggle and perseverance is something they hope will impact other foster children and foster families out there.
Godbold says the message is simple: don’t give up.
“Don’t give up – persevere. Keep looking for that love, that family connection, whether it’s with an infant or your 32-year-old child,” she added.
Griffin lives in San Diego and Godbold lives in San Jose, Calif., but now that they’re mother and son, they’ll be getting together often.
“She’s my mother,” said Griffin. “She has always been my mother.”
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What a wonderful and heartwarming story! I am so happy for both of you and the family! God does have miracles for us; it might take a lifetime, but they are there! Namaste....Patsy Elephantlover
Proves that it's not the blood that counts its the heart, good luck .....
Hmm, ... I think I should adopt two 20-year-old
girlswomen. Ever since turning 40 I have often felt that I should have myself rewired for 2 20's. ( my wife, however, disagrees. Go figure? ;-)I heard a saying something like...anyone female can give birth, but only a real woman can be a mother!
You are so right. This is the kind of story I'd like to read every day. God works miracles all the time and I love hearing about them.
Getting greedy? Wanted to be adopted by Charles Friday?
Nice. Thank you for the story.
The way we treat foster children in America is beyond disgraceful. They get bounced from house to house for no apparent reason, and get bounced out of the system altogether at 18, to be left on their own. A relative handful of relatives, charity agencies and saintly individuals try to cover the overwhelming demand for guidance and resources to raise educate and employ these children. 1% of former foster children children graduate from college, and in general, have staggeringly high rates of early and unwed pregnancy, drug addiction and incarceration. if we think the cost of caring for foster children properly is high, check the bills for the way it is now. We can do so much better.
It is not just foster children.
In the event of a divorce, in an appalling number of jurisdictions, custody and placement decisions are based on who has the most clout, connections, and money. Decent, honest people are criminalized when they do the only thing they can do to save a child ~ run. They know what has been done to a child and what will be done again. Social workers? A travesty supported by tax dollars.
I know a woman who was in marriage where she and her children suffered abuse of every kind beyond description. Her husband had money, owned a business in the town in which they lived, was in all the good ol' boy organizations . . . she knew the deck was stacked against her. Still, she filed for divorce and gained temporary custody of 2 little kids. Away from the monster they began to talk about more horror than what she knew. Did anyone listen? Of course not. Why good ol' Joe would never do that. She jumped through the hoops, hung in there until the divorce was final and the monster was given custody.
These kids were lucky. They have a smart mom, loving grandparents, and an excellent support system. Mom and kids simply disappeared. The kids had a chance to tell their stories and to heal. They were safe from what the monster would do to them. Years passed before some do-gooder thought this family was too much like the mom and kids who had vanished.
But for all those years the kids were safe. They got to have a childhood. She married and they got to know what a true father is like. They were old enough and strong enough in themselves to protect themselves.
Tragically, Maurice Griffin and thousands of other kids get tossed into and chewed up by the 'system'. It behooves all of us to get to know something about the kids in our neighborhoods; observe and document if you suspect something is wrong. If possible, let the kids know you are a safe adult and a presence in their world. Sometimes saying 'hello' at every encounter is enough to plant seeds of security. We can never know when we might need to step in as an advocate.
Maurice Griffin was abandoned as a baby. At age three, he found a loving family in foster parents Lisa Godbold and her husband, Charles.
When he was abandoned as a baby, that's when he should have been should have been adopted. Unfortunately, many states back then had a waiting time for abandoned babies, assuming that either parent or some extended family member would show up, or insisted that the biological father be found and formally give up any claim on the baby, even if the mother had no idea who he was.
“The whole reason we got into foster care in the first place is because we wanted to adopt Maurice,” recalled Godbold.
Over the next 10 years, Godbold and her husband eventually became Griffin’s foster parents, giving him the stable, happy home he had always dreamed of.
As happy as I am for Griffin and Godold, I wish that that article had had a decent editor work on it. "Over the next 10 years, Godobld and her husband eventually became Griffin's foster parents...."
Weren't they already his foster parents when he was three? Did something change between three and thirteen?
Unfortunately, some states didn't want foster children to be adopted, as there would be a loss of tax money, and in some states, there would still be some reason or excuse to not allow the adoption, usually because some distant relative was still expected or sought after to claim the kid.
And then people wonder why out-of-country adoptions are so popular, when there are so many children in foster care.
I've thought about fostering off and on over the years but the thought of a child that I could love and love me and have a stable home being ripped away for whatever "reason" keeps me from even looking into it.
When they do the ripping, they don't care how it affects the people being ripped. One I read of was a kid who was going to be the "student of the day" in his kindergarten class. He had his show-and-tell toys and his foster mom had the cupcakes, and the kid said it was going to be the best day of his life. Social Services shows up and takes him away without any heads up that morning to send him off to his recently-discovered 70 year old grandparents who lived on the other side of the country.
what a great story. obviously the ten years he spent with the family helped to make him the man he is today.
Sorry for the rant folks, but this one strikes close to my heart....
ElkMeadow-(Unfortunately, some states didn't want foster children to be adopted, as there would be a loss of tax money)
As someone who was a parent in several states to numerous children over a period of decades to specialized children, and who investigated how the funding,regulations and programs were set up, comparing the other states in our country to that which I lived in,attending events with foster parents-directors and case workers from all over the nation,and checking with government representatives, I have seen no basis for your claim.
Foster/emergency care has always caused states to struggle meeting their budgets, to meet the needs of foster children. For there has always been more children then the budget could handle.So by allowing children to be adopted it would actually free up essential funds to pay for more case workers, and pay foster parents better while giving them more resources, with the funds they desperately need. By shifting funds to ease essential areas critically and perpetually short.
The real dilemmas were in two areas. First in how they looked at children back then compared to now. It used to be, keep children in a holding pattern, hoping some relative would show up. The second,how foster homes were rated as emergency foster care, and you were allowed to keep children according to a set period of time. Once that period was up, the child must be moved. Period. THAT was the problem.So if you were rated for two weeks, that was how long a child stayed in your care. So children could move around like musical chairs,literally until the grew up and were turned out onto the streets.But often they got placed into situations they didn't qualify for, like group homes for juvenile delinquents, because that was the only opening, other options just didn't exist.
Also, if a relative was found eventually, and you were placed with them, then they moved to another county, should you be court ordered back into foster care, because they proved unfit to keep you, you legally couldn't be placed back into the previous foster home. You had to have a foster home found in the new county. Made for frustration if the loving foster home wasn't in the new county.Contact could be refused, which sounds like this is what happened in the article.So this man had to wait until he was grown up before contact was re-established. Which was so devastation and unfair a burden to have placed upon him.But that sounds just like what would have been done several decades ago. Very anti-child focused indeed!
I would encourage anyone who is interested in doing foster care, to please look into it.Times have changed so much in the requirements for being foster parents, and in meeting the needs of foster children better. As someone who took in foster children, including being a specialized home, I can tell you, the emphasis is now on getting children in the system placed into two types of categories. Those who need temporary foster care, and those who have longer permanent needs.
Now times have changed for the better.When children are first removed from custodial care for whatever reason, they are placed into temporary care.This is where foster parents come in, providing temporary care comes in. If the child is allowed to be returned, that homes work is done.But if a child can't be returned, they will be court ordered into permanent foster care, as relatives will be sought up to one year. If none are found, the child can be put up for adoption. Foster parents who have registered as foster/adopt parents can then go forward.
It is important to understand, regulations have been put into place which designate a specific length of time a child is allowed to be in temporary foster care, before they must be placed up for adoption.This is to prevent a child falling through the cracks and bouncing from home to home and never getting stability in their lives. In fact, many relatives will become foster homes, so they can later adopt their relatives children. Trust me, there are huge numbers of children waiting for foster homes, who will never be adopted.Because people are afraid they can't handle the problems a foster child may have.However, there is plenty of support for any needs each child has.Plus paid therapy as required.
Being a foster parent certainly is a rewarding experience one never forgets.In touching the life of a child, one never forgets the difference and joy that comes from helping change the lives of those who, through no fault of their own, have had such awfully harsh trials to their beginnings in life
It has been reported elsewhere that because he was a foster child they were not permitted to spank him.
He told a social worker he wanted to be spanked like the other children so they removed him. What he told the Social worker was he wanted to be treated like a real son. It was just months before they could have adopted him, he was 13. He told the worker that once he was adopted that would happen - obviously grounds for removing him (sarc).
They tried to fight the system and were told they could lose their other children.
http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/15/us/man-32-adopted/index.html?hpt=hp_bn1
Thank you for the clarification. I have had some contact with the foster care system and the rules that govern it. On many occasions I was not impressed. But the foster care system isn't the only problem. The courts bend over backward to protect the "rights" of the biological parents and fail to protect the rights of the child. I know of at least one case where a little boy was handed back to his schizophrenic drug addicted mother not once, but three times. On each occasion he ended up in a hospital. Once she dangled his feet in boiling water. Another time she just forgot he was there and the caseworker found him nearly dead from dehydration. Yet after these two events she was given another shot at killing him. This time he ended up in ICU and nearly died. He was four years old. This was not the foster care system. This was the court system that believed all biological parents were automatically superior to foster care.
Whoever provided the sperm and egg for your conception and birth have responsibilities. If they fail to meet those, and some other people lovingly parent you...THEY are your "real" parents. My niece and nephew are adopted, and I love them as if they were my own children.
The first thing that came to my mind when I saw that the child was taken away after such an extended period of time was that this was a white family with a black child. That said, the system deprived this 32 year old man of what he deserved....a permanent family that loved him and that he loved....a mother, a father and siblings. Everything was working as it should after he went to live with the Godbold family, and then the system failed them all! Instead, nearly 20 years was lost.
In the years that the Godbold family did have Maurice Griffon, they obviously made a permanent and lasting impression. He might have been shuffled from one despicable foster home to another, but what he was taught by the Godbold's in the short time they had him made a difference in the man he became.
This is a story that should resonate with everyone who is against multi-racial adoptions. This is not about skin color. This is 100% about what's best for a child who needs (and has) a loving foster family that wants to make him/her a permanent part of their family.
When I watch the video for this story, it looks like the Godbold family was a multi ethnic family. The wife was white and the husband african american, so I dont think you can say race was the reason.
Yes one of the reasons they wanted to adopt him is because they were a mixed family.
I grew up with Lisa, and knew Charles since before he met her. Maurice Griffin was as lucky of a foster child as you could be, then he had the ultimate injustice brought upon him by the powers that be. I hope everyone who sees this makes an effort to change the broken Foster Care/Adoption systems in many States/Counties around the U.S. Call or write your representatives, push them to improve the systems where they lack the ability to make these children's lives better, not just throw money at them and go through the motions for effect. I am so happy for Lisa, she always wanted this, it is a shame that Charles did not live to see this great day arrive. I am also glad that Maurice's life is now much more complete, Lisa and her husband will be good for him, and help him to heal from what he has been through during his lifetime. She is an amazing mother, and incredible person. This is the kind of story we should see much more of every day, not the negative fear-mongering that passes for news so many times on the internet and TV.
Kudos to Lisa Godbold. Best of luck to all involved.
Our systems continue to fail us in every way and all we can do is fight and bring our fights to every network and every representative and anyone who will bring these problems to light and who will help us. This was too long and torturous in the making but God bless these people and I hope they will finally get to be a family!
My husband and I adopted two little sisters both under age three several decades ago. Before they were adopted we had to put up with an amazing amount of misery dealing with their biological mother who finally went to the penitentiary and signed them over to us privately. Their father lost his parental rights in court. The mom got the kids back when we were their foster parents before the adoption, and back and forth they went between her and us. I finally told the state that we would not be their foster parents if they were sent back to their mother one more time (they came back with shoes too small, all of their clothes and belongings/toys gone and confused about everything) then we would not go another round because we were by then certified to adopt a child. It is a horrible world for all concerned. I hope in my state things have been geared more for the welfare of the child and not the bio parents. Most foster parents are wonderful people.
This world that we live in can be so cold and horrible until a story such as this comes along to restore our faith in mankind.I wish them many happy years together as a family.
what is foster ? where is My big dictionary ?
your news is not on russian language? - this is GENOCIDE !!!
This story is weird, why would a 32 year old man want to be adopted. He is too old. Unless he might have been their child to begin with.
Why don't you just take the time to read the story.
It is so sad that the foster dad did in the interim time......
Beautiful. : )
I tried my best not to cry.....I had a situation where some of my nieces ad nephews were in foster care for a while. As soon as I found out, I tried to get them to live with me but was told that I needed an attorney and other things before I could get ANY information! Later, I found out that they had planned to have the baby adopted! I am sorry but the foster care system has a dirty under belly,some children are treated as a commodity and are "merchandised" into weathy families.
I became the foster father of a 4 month old boy and had him 2 1/2 years. After the foster system found his father who was unable to have contact with him, the bio grandmother stepped in. I appealed to the courts to allow me to adopte him, but at 2 1/2 years the little boy we loved for so long was taken from us to move into the home of his bio grandmother as his legal guardian. She has never adopted him and refused to let him call her mom.
While we still he see him and he is allowed to come stay with us still, it still breaks my heart when he looks at me when I tuck him into bed when he is here and says... "Dad why can't I live at home." Family is the people that love you, and to this little guy now almost 7, I am I still Dad and our house will always be home.