The Senate’s staunchest advocate for transferring military rape cases to independent prosecutors to contain a rape epidemic in the ranks said Wednesday she was distressed by the rejection of her proposal, saying, "The victims’ voices aren’t being heard."

“To reverse this crisis, I do not believe it will be enough if we do not seize the opportunity and embrace the kind of systemic reform that will truly increase accountability," said Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand, D-N.Y., during a hearing of the Senate Armed Services Committee to consider amendments to the proposed fiscal 2014 military budget.

For weeks, Gillibrand led what appeared to be rising movement on Capitol Hill to strip the investigations and prosecutions of serious military sex assaults from the military chain of command and instead hand such cases to independent military prosecutors. Her amendment had 27 co-sponsors, including four Republicans. But it was openly opposed at a hearing on June 4 by every branch commander, all of whom argued that unit leaders would consequently lose their authority to discipline sex offenders under their watch.

"This is not a radical idea. It is a common sense proposal," Gillibrand said Wednesday. "... It is simply the right thing to do." 

However, the chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee, Sen. Carl Levin, D-Mich., on Wednesday replaced Gillibrand’s amendment to the National Defense Authorization Act of 2014 with his own plan: If unit commanders decide not to prosecute service members for alleged sex assaults, those cases would be required to undergo "an independent review by the next higher level of the chain of command." Further, Levin's amendment would make it a crime for service members to retaliate against victims who claim they were sexually assaulted.

Levin's alternative plan — leaving sex-assault prosecutions in the chain of command — was approved by the committee in a 17-9 vote. 

"We all know that we have a serious problem with sexual assault in the military. We have a problem with the under-reporting of sexual assaults," Levin said. "... However, I do not support removing the authority of command to prosecute sexual assault cases and putting that decision in the hands of military lawyers ...  

"It is the chain of command that can and must be held accountable if it fails to change an unacceptable military culture. It his harder to hold someone accountable for their failure to act if you reduce their power to act." 

The committee also accepted an amendment from Sen. Claire McCaskill, D-Mo., to prevent commanders from overturning jury verdicts.

The clash between Gillibrand and Levin — and eight other senators who co-sponsored Levin's amendment — is not emblematic of a party-vs.-party split or a divide between genders. The co-sponsors of Levin's proposal included four Democrats and two women: Sen. Kelly Ayotte, R-N.H. and McCaskill. 

"I know there will be those who think that Senator Gillibrand and I don't agree," McCaskill said. "But we agree on one thing: We are not giving up on focusing on this problem. We are not going anywhere.

"One word of advice to the military: Don’t think this is over … because we‘ve just begun. We have just begun to monitor. We have just begun to hold your feet to the fire. We have just begun to hold you accountable. We have just begun to make sure this is a new day in the United States military when it comes to these horrific crimes."

Levin's measure follows numerous calls for military-justice reform amid a recent barrage of sexual misconduct allegations in the ranks — including separate sex-assault charges against two branch leaders tasked with preventing rapes. In May, the Pentagon released an annual report estimating as many 26,000 military members faced unwanted sexual contact in 2012 — an increase from 19,000 cases the previous year. The numbers were based on an anonymous survey of military personnel. 

Last week, a female midshipman who accused three U.S. Naval Academy football players of raping her last year said her client was actually disciplined for drinking while her alleged attackers went unpunished.

Navy veteran Trina McDonald, who said she survived three rapes while serving in Alaska in 1989, called Levin's move "proposterous." In an interview Wednesday with NBC News, she predicted the military's sex-assault crisis will deepen because Gillibrand's plan was spiked and replaced by Levin's amendment. 

"He’s not changing anything. He’s perpetuating the problem," McDonald said. "I’m just absolutely disgusted that, after all the (congressional) hearings that have taken place on this, he would come up with this decision — and that what Gillibrand is trying to do is going to be swept away."

McDonald said that after the 1989 sex assaults she survived at age 18 — one allegedly carried out by a male Navy member and two more by a second male Navy member while a female Navy member held McDonald down — she felt she could not report the crimes. The reason: She would have been forced to file those complaints with the offenders — her superiors. (She left the Navy in 1990).

For that reason, McDonald ardently supported Gillibrand's push to remove all such cases from the victims' chain of command. 

"I think the number of assaults are going to increase as a result of this because it's sending a message to the perpetrators that you can do what you want to do because we are going to keep it in the chain of command," McDonald said. "It's telling them: Hey, see, you can get away with it." 

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The Army and Air Force have reopened their Tuition Assistance pipelines to service members — following a Congressional mandate — yet similar funding remains stalled within the Marine Corps, a leading veterans’ advocate complained Wednesday.

The federal sequestration had previously blockaded all money that’s normally funneled to troops to help them pay for college classes in order to further their educations and their military careers. In most branches, that tab reaches $4,500 per year for each service member who takes the classes.

On March 21, Congress voted to order the Defense Department to locate the necessary funding to relaunch Tuition Assistance across the branches. That directive has now become law. Navy leaders had already opted to keep that program alive for sailors despite sequestration, “and we’re quite proud of that, too,” said Lt. Shawn Eklund, a Navy spokesman.

At midnight Tuesday, the Army turned on the web portal used by soldiers to formally ask for Tuition Assistance money.

“This will allow soldiers to request Tuition Assistance for the remainder of fiscal year 2013. For the balance of (this year), the eligibility rules for use of TA, the $250 semester-hour cap, and the annual ceiling of $4,500 remain unchanged,” said Lt. Col. S. Justin Platt, an Army spokesman.

On Wednesday, the Air Force also reinstated Tuition Assistance for its members, said Air Force spokesman Lt. Col. Laurel Tingley.

"The program is going to remain exactly the same as it was before the suspension," Tingley said. 

Marine Corps public affairs officers didn’t immediately respond to emailed questions on when that branch will again offer Tuition Assistance.

“Here’s the issue: It’s been passed by Congress and signed by the president. There’s no reason this shouldn’t (already) be reinstated at the branch level,” said Michael Dakduk, executive director of Student Veterans of America, a support network with more than 500 campus chapters.

At some military posts, including North Carolina’s Marine Corps Air Station Cherry Point, the attendance of Marines who once used on-base college classes has been cut by more than half since DOD halted all tuition help amid the sequestration, Dakduk said.

“It’s absolutely extreme,” he added. “And that’s exactly kind of thing we don’t want to see as far as supporting service members. Especially as our military force in total begins to draw down and we have folks exit the military.”

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Four different branches of the U.S. military are spending millions of dollars to equip troops with combat uniforms in seven different but similar camouflage patterns, says the Government Accountability Office, wasting money and potentially exposing some troops to increased risk on the battlefield.

That’s one of the findings in the GAO’s latest report on government waste, its third annual report on overlapping, redundant and/or wasteful federal government programs and spending. (GAO is the independent, nonpartisan investigative and auditing agency that works for Congress.)

The report identifies 31 new areas in the federal government "where agencies may be able to achieve greater efficiency or effectiveness" – 17 areas where the GAO found evidence of "fragmentation, overlap or duplication" and 14 where it found opportunities for significant cost savings and "revenue enhancement."

On combat uniforms, the GAO found that the military services “employ a fragmented approach” in acquiring them.

Have a look at the visual included in the report (below). It shows images of seven different camouflage patterns for uniforms separately ordered by the Army, Air Force, Navy and Marines.

Government Accountability Office

Before 2002, all the military services had used only two basic camouflage patterns – one woodland pattern and one desert pattern.

Contracting separately for similar uniforms, GAO says, has resulted in “numerous inventories of similar uniforms at increased cost to the supply chain.”

GAO found that if the services partnered together in procuring uniforms, the Defense Department could save tens of millions of dollars.

Previously the Army has estimated it could save $82 million by partnering, and the Navy has estimated it could save $6 million.

Spending watchdog groups say the uniform waste is one example of a widespread problem.

“When you look at combat fatigues it's like a microcosm of the whole problem,” says Steve Ellis, vice president of Taxpayers for Common Sense, a nonpartisan budget watchdog group. “Combat fatigues are an example of how, left to its own devices, government creates more complication, and it's up to Congress to reign them in and to make them concentrate and only do one thing.”

Of the 31 new areas the GAO identified, here are a few examples of areas the GAO found with overlap and duplication:

• Drug abuse prevention and treatment programs: “Federal drug abuse prevention and treatment programs are fragmented across 15 federal agencies … in fiscal year 2012, about $4.5 billion was allocated to these 15 agencies that administer 76 programs that are, in all or in part, intended to prevent or treat illicit drug use or abuse.”
• Renewable energy initiatives: “23 agencies and their 130 sub-agencies implemented 679 renewable energy initiatives in fiscal year 2010…9 agencies implemented 82 overlapping duplicative wind-related initiatives in fiscal year 2011 … including 7 initiatives that have provided duplicative … financial support to the same recipient for a single project.”

Here are a few examples of areas GAO found with significant potential cost savings or increased revenue:

• Crop insurance subsidies: Congress could save up to $1.2 billion if it reduced or limited subsidies for individual farmers.
• Medicaid supplemental payments: by identifying improper Medicaid payments, HHS could save up to hundreds of millions of dollars.
• Tobacco taxes: the federal government lost as much as $615 million to $1 billion between 2009 and 2011 “because tobacco manufacturers and consumers substituted higher-taxed smoking tobacco products with similar lower tax products.

The entire list is in the full report, GAO-13-279SP - "2013 Annual Report: Actions Needed to Reduce Fragmentation, Overlap, and Duplication and Achieve Other Financial Benefits." The report runs 293 pages and is available here.

The GAO’s report includes recommendations for policy changes in each area. But the report includes some positive statistics about the impact of the GAO’s previous efforts.

Since its first report in 2011, the GAO found that the Obama administration’s executive branch agencies and Congress “have made progress.”

As of the latest report’s completion last month, the GAO found, a majority of the areas it identified in the first two reports in 2011 and 2012 got attention from the agencies involved: 16 of the 131 areas “were addressed”; 87 were “partially addressed”; and only 27 were “not addressed.” 

Of approximately 300 “actions needed” within these areas, more than half were addressed or partially addressed: 65 were addressed, 149 were partially addressed and 85 were not addressed.

The GAO’s recommendations to reduce waste and duplication on combat uniforms were originally provided to the Defense Department in September 2012. The department responded with a statement saying, “the DOD plans to provide joint criteria and policy guidance for camouflage uniforms to the military departments by March 2013, and plans to … provide additional oversight and further pursue active partnerships for joint development and use of uniforms.”

Logistics Spc. 2nd Class Darlene Kemble / U.S. Navy

U.S. Navy Seabees display Navy Working Uniform Type III in January 2012 in Pearl Harbor.

Contacted Tuesday by NBC News for a response, representatives of the Defense Department referred to the previous statement. 

At a hearing Tuesday afternoon before the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, GAO staffers testified about the report's findings and answered committee members’ questions.

In his opening statement, U.S. Rep. Darrell Issa, R-Calif., the committee’s chair, expressed disappointment that only 16 of the 131 areas the GAO previously reported got fixed.

“As budget pressure increases and the American taxpayer says I cannot afford to pay for the same services twice,” he said, “both Congress, including the GAO, and executive branch must find these programs, must find this waste and must do our job differently.”

Rep. Elijah Cummings, D-Md., the committee’s ranking Democrat, blamed Congress for failing to act and said he hoped that Republicans and Democrats could “join forces to reduce waste, fraud and abuse.”

“We should all be able to agree that a dollar wasted here is a dollar that is not put to better use elsewhere,” Cummings said.  “I think Republicans and Democrats will agree that we want to see taxpayers' dollars spent in an effective and efficient manner.”

U.S. Comptroller General Gene Dodaro, who runs the GAO and was the hearing's main witness, summed up his testimony with this observation:

“My term goes to 2025.  I hope that I won’t be reporting all these same issues in that year. But I can tell you that it won’t change unless the Congress gets involved in this process with active oversight.” 

Related story: Uncloaked: How Army is testing new camo to replace flawed design

WASHINGTON -- Two female officers entered the demanding Marine Infantry Officer Course this week — only the second time in the history of the course that women have been allowed to compete to become ground combat leaders — but neither passed the grueling obstacle course on Thursday, military officials said.

The women made it through the first few days of the course.

Of the 110 students who began the course this week, 96 are still enrolled — the women were joined by 12 of their Marine brothers who also failed to complete the obstacle course entirely or could not complete it in the time allotted.

The Marine Infantry Officer Course is 10 weeks of intense field training at Quantico, Va. Marines are tested to endure rigorous physical tests and written exams with little food or sleep, all of which push the men and women to their physical and mental limits. About 400 Marines take the course each year, and one in four drops out.

In January, former Defense Secretary Leon Panetta directed the U.S. military chiefs to study whether more combat-related jobs could be open to women.

The military services must report back to Chuck Hagel, Panetta's successor, with their findings by May 15.

Months before Panetta’s directive, the Marine Corps asked for women to volunteer to try the course as part of the ongoing effort to open more military billets to women.

So far four women have volunteered, but none have successfully completed the course.

Two female lieutenants entered the course last September — the first women ever allowed to do so. While both women eventually dropped the course, one of them made it well into the second week before an injury forced her out.

The two women who volunteered for this latest round will not likely be the last.  A U.S. military official tells NBC News that five more female Marines are already waiting in the wings to enter the course this summer.

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Damir Sagolj / Reuters

A U.S. Marine drinks the blood of a cobra during a jungle survival exercise with the Thai Navy as part of the "Cobra Gold 2013" joint military exercise, at a military base in Chon Buri province, Thailand.

These beastly feasts exist somewhere between the hard edge of gunpoint diplomacy and the soft belly of “Man v. Food.”

In Thailand, some Americans recently munched jungle grubs and guzzled snake blood alongside Thai military members. In Afghanistan, 13 U.S. men were invited by locals to slice the throats of goats, and they later reciprocated by offering steaming bowls of their own exotic fare: Ramen noodles.

The common denominator: The U.S. Marine Corps.

“We’re bred from the beginning to do what it takes to become one with the local populace and win over their trust,” said former Marine Sgt. Thomas Brennan.

In 2010, while serving with a dozen other Marines and seven Afghan National Police members in the Musa Qala district, town members politely asked one of Brennan’s men to kill a goat — part of a sacred custom on a Muslim holiday. The Marine complied, spilling fresh blood on the street as nearby Afghani men chanted Muslim prayers. Later, the entire group shared cooked goat meat inside a small dwelling.

“We were more than willing to be part of their culture because we had that team mentality that we needed to develop” with the Afghan National Police, Brennan said. “From there on out, we shared more dinners with them.”

The same ethic led a group of Marines late last month to kill king cobras and drink the snakes’ blood in a Thai jungle as members of the Royal Thai Marines cheered. The event was part of an annual joint training exercise called Cobra Gold that teaches jungle-survival skills and other field exercises. 

Units from the U.S. Army, Navy, Air Force and Marine Corps — numbering about 9,500 service members — participated along with troops from Singapore, Japan, South Korea, Indonesia, Malaysia and Thailand, said First Lt. Gregory H. Carroll, a Marine Corps spokesman.

“The jungle provides a number of animals and some are common to us like birds, fish and even some reptiles,” U.S. Army Sgt. Daniel A. Hernandez told dvidshub.net, a website that provides military-oriented content. “However, if you’re not a good hunter, there are smaller prey you can eat like insects, such as grasshoppers, cockroaches, scorpions, larva, worms and beetles.”

In Afghanistan, the goat butchering came after the Marines had given some rice and bread to the town members as part of the Muslim holiday.

“The Afghan National Police saw that we were caring about the locals when it came to the holiday and they invited us to their celebration. For the (police) commander and his higher echelon, it meant a lot and they were more willing to incorporate with us and share their culture,” Brennan said.

But Marine food swaps can work both ways.

Brennan’s unit offered the Afghan National Police members a few of the morsels that their families had sent from America: cans of Chef Boyardee pasta.

The post-taste reaction among the Afghanistan locals may have mirrored the faces of the Marines who recently sipped snake blood in Thailand.

“They thought,” Brennan said, “it was the grossest stuff in the world.”

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A civilian military depot in California is trying to plug soldier-reported gaps in U.S. supply lines literally on a shoestring budget — by providing bootlaces along with tourniquets, tracheotomy tools, goggles and other gear to service members in Afghanistan who say they are increasingly strapped for basic equipment.

But TroopsDirect, a nonprofit with one full-time employee and a small squadron of corporate backers, calls the latest request sent from soldiers soon to be in harm’s ways a disturbing first: They say they need key materials to protect them in a combat situation. 

An Army unit slated to deploy to Afghanistan to clear roadside bombs has asked TroopsDirect for 30 special vests designed to carry armored plates because, according to the unit’s commanding officer, the Army will only outfit half of his 60 members with those vests.

The reason: Defense Department budget constraints, the unit’s sergeant told Aaron Negherbon, president and founder of TroopsDirect.

“That’s just not going to work,” Negherbon said. “Thirty lives are at risk. If one of the guys died because of lack of equipment, who will then say anything about budget cuts? What’s the value of a human life or a human limb?

“A sergeant I spoke to, who is under the company commander in this unit, said there was a budget issue tied to this,” Negherbon added. “To that end, he said: ‘If this was a few years ago, we could have gotten anything that we wanted. Now, it’s a make-do kind of thing.’ The company commander even put in an additional appeal (with the Army) and never heard back on it. So they reached out to us.”

TroopsDirect shared with NBC News its communications with the unit member who requested the 30 vests. NBC News agreed not to reveal the unit’s location or name to protect its leaders from potential discipline for going outside the Army’s supply chain.

The vests eventually will be fitted with armored plates that are slipped into Velcro pouches inside the nylon fabric. The unit already possesses the necessary plates. But, without the vests, 30 of the men would have no way to cloak themselves in the armor, Negherbon said, unless they were to duct tape the plates to their uniforms or bodies. An order verification form, obtained by NBC News, shows that Darley Defense in Itasca, Ill., will ship the vests — at a total cost of $1706.89 — to the nonprofit’s headquarters in San Ramon, Calif., at the end of February.

“I fully support what Aaron and TroopsDirect are doing,” said Jeff Freeman, the Darley salesman who sold the vests. “What is strange is when these troops are deploying, they may not be deploying with enough gear to support them for their 6-month, 9-month or 14-month deployment. At some point, they then have to turn to TroopsDirect, or to (their branch’s) supply system, to fulfill those needs. I don't know if that’s a budget issue or a planning issue.”

NBC News contacted the Army's media relations division on Tuesday afternoon, seeking comment on the work being conducted by TroopsDirect. An Army spokesman had not responded to that interview request as of Wednesday morning.

Last year, outgoing Defense Secretary Leon Panetta announced his plan to cut almost $500 billion from the defense budget over the next 10 years, focusing on shrinking ground forces in the Army and Marine Corps.

With the U.S. military drawing down in Afghanistan — and with 34,000 more troops scheduled to return to home soil during the next year — the requests for needed gear have simultaneously picked up at TroopsDirect, according to Negherbon.

Last month, he heard from the commander of an Army mortar unit outside Kandahar, Afghanistan, who complained that the ear protection donned by his soldiers was so worn, some men were having their eardrums blown out by weapon percussions and were bleeding from their ears, Negherbon said. He’s pulled together an order of ear-protection devices for that unit.

When combat medics waited more than four weeks to be resupplied, TroopsDirect gathered stretchers, stethoscopes, syringes and gauze rolls in a few hours and shipped the material overseas. 

According to GuideStar, a charity-monitoring website, TroopsDirect reported $350,858 in income (contributions) in 2011 against $209,419 in expenses — including $27,466 spent on administrative costs. Its corporate contributors include Gatorade, PowerBar, REI, American Trucking Associations, Darley Defense and 18 other companies.

Founded in 2010, the nonprofit self-reports that 87 percent of its total organizational expenditures go directly to program expenses and that it already has shipped more 60,000 pounds of equipment to service members overseas.

“We’re seeing a lot more of this one-off kind of stuff — like vests — that once was available and now isn’t,” Negherbon said, adding that troops who reach out to him have reported that some of their equipment needs are budget related and some are caused by logistical glitches arising in the Afghanistan drawdown.

“I will hear things like: ‘We’re in the south and our supply chain is in the north and because they’ve closed down so many distribution facilities and are retrograding at a rapid rate, we can’t get anything anymore,’ " Negherbon said.

“I can see telling them to ‘make do’ without a certain type of pouch. But these things (like vests and ear-protection requests) are something I’m seeing a lot more of. We just sent a bunch of medic packs to a Marine Special Operations unit. They were issued stuff that was ineffective for a medic out in the dirt tending to the wounded.”

Freeman’s company began selling to TroopsDirect in April of 2012 and has done deals on helmet lights and gloves, he said. 

“There’s probably two sides to that story,” said Freeman, a veteran. “At times, the Army (members) may use him as an ‘easy button.’ If they know they’re going to have difficult time getting something out there, maybe they go to him because they’ve used him in the past and he’s provided such great customer service to them that it might be a little easier for them to use him.”

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Erin Trieb for NBC News

Monica Velez, pictured in Austin, Texas, had two brothers, Jose "Freddy" Velez and Andrew Velez, both of whom served the U.S. military and both are now dead -- Freddy was killed in action in Iraq, and Andrew took his own life.

Before Army Spc. Andrew Velez left Texas for the final time, he asked his fragile sister to write him a promise – a vow he could carry with him to Afghanistan.

Monica Velez knew she owed him that much. In the horrid weeks after each had lost their beloved brother, Freddy Velez, to enemy fire in Iraq, Monica tried to end her life with pills and alcohol. Now, she put pen to paper: “I will not hurt myself. I will not do anything crazy. I know that Andrew loves me. I know that Freddy loved me.” Andrew folded her note and slipped it into his pocket.

“Don’t break your word to me,” he told her before heading back to war.

Seven months later, Andrew, 22, sat alone in an Army office at a base in Afghanistan. He put a gun to his head and committed suicide. Back in Texas, word reached Monica Velez who, once again, found herself in a dangerous place. Only now, she was alone. Days of alcohol and anti-depressants. Nights of dark thoughts: “It would just be better if I was gone.”

'The storm' is coming
As the U.S. military suicide rate soared to record heights during 2012, the families of service members say they, too, are witnessing a silent wave of self-harm occurring within their civilian ranks: spouses, children, parents and siblings. 

Some suicides and suicide attempts — like those that ravaged the Velez family — are spurred by combat losses.

Others may be triggered by exhaustion and despair: As some veterans return debilitated by anxiety, many spouses realize it's now up to them — and will be for decades — to hold the family together.

Specific figures are lacking as no agency tracks civilian suicides within military families.

However, Kristina Kaufmann, a long-time Army wife, knows of three other Army wives, all friends, who took their lives in recent years.

Courtesy Kristina Kaufmann

"When you know that you are the anchor — and if you go down, the family's going down — the problem is that you can only do that for so long," said Kristina Kaufmann.

One was Faye Vick, described by Kaufmann as “the perfect picture of an Army wife — pretty, nice, always with a smile.” Vick and her family lived around the corner from Kaufmann and near Fort Bragg, N.C. In 2006, when Kaufmann’s husband was in Afghanistan and Vick’s husband was deployed overseas, the 39-year-old mother placed herself, her infant and her 2-year-old son in a car inside a closed garage and started the engine, asphyxiating all three with carbon monoxide, according to Kaufmann and to local news reports at the time.

“And I know of too many others through the grapevine,” said Kaufmann, executive director of Code of Support, an Alexandria, Va.-based nonprofit that seeks to bridge the gap between civilians and military America.

“When you know that you are the anchor — and if you go down, the family’s going down — the problem is that you can only do that for so long,” said Kaufmann. “That population (of spouses) is at the most risk. Because the storm is going to happen when everybody comes home. That’s where we are, unfortunately, going to see an uptick in lots of negative outcomes, including suicide, including suicide among the spouses.”

On Jan. 14, Department of Defense officials acknowledged that during 2012, service members committed suicide at a record pace as more than 349 people took their own lives across the four branches. The military suicide rate is slightly lower than that of the general public. However, one active-duty member died by suicide every 25 hours last year. 

The Army sustained the heaviest branch toll at 182 suicides, which — as NBC News reported Jan. 3 — meant that soldier suicides outpaced combat deaths for the first time, according to Pentagon officials.

Defense Secretary Leon Panetta informed Congress last July that American armed forces are in the grip of a suicide "epidemic." 

One of the darkest undercurrents of the glaring statistics is that one suicide in a family boosts future suicide risks for everyone else inside the home. They can be contagious, say experts like Dr. Barbara Van Dahlen, a psychologist in the Washington, D.C., area and the founder of Give an Hour, which develops networks of mental-health volunteers who respond to both acute and chronic situations.

Numerous researchers have explored the so-called contagion effect of suicides within families and “there’s no question the data supports there’s at least a doubling of risk,” among surviving family members, said Dr. Alan L. Berman, Ph.D., executive director of the American Association of Suicidology. The organization strives to better understand and prevent suicide.

“It’s understood that risk, in part, is biological," Berman said, given that disorders like depression have a genetic component. 

“But it’s also based on social modeling behavior: The suicide of a parent presents a model (for children in that family) of how to deal with problems, and that’s no less true for a spouse.”

Added Van Dahlen: "The closer that family member is to you, the greater risk you’re at. We believe, psychologically, it opens the possibility and ends a taboo."

“The thousands of service members who have killed themselves,” she added, “they leave in their wake thousands of family members who are now at risk for that same kind of decision."

'I completely lost myself'
The cascade of Velez family tragedies began with pure valor.

On Nov. 13, 2004, Army Cpl. Jose “Freddy” Velez, 23, sprayed bullets at insurgent forces — covering fire to allow other U.S. soldiers time to retreat from an enemy strong point in Fallujah, Iraq. After his ammo ran dry, Freddy Velez was shot and killed. The Army awarded him the Bronze Star and Silver Star.

Courtesy Monica Velez

"There are days I'm still overwhelmed. And if I sit and think about it, I feel like I wouldn't have to live through all this pain if I just let myself go," said Monica Velez, who shared family photos of brothers Freddy and Andrew.

Andrew, then serving with another unit in Iraq, told Monica of escorting his brother’s body home to Lubbock, Texas — a job, he said, that required unzipping his brother’s body bag at every stop to re-verify Freddy’s identity.

During the trip, Andrew called his sister repeatedly while en route home and screamed into the phone for nearly two consecutive hours, “like somebody was killing him,” she said.

“There was nothing I could do,” Monica Velez recalled. “The operator kept cutting in (to request additional payment for the call) and I just said, ‘Add it to my credit card.’ He just wailed. That travel home, I think is what eventually broke him.”

Weeks later, Monica broke.

She doesn’t know how close she came to death the first time she tried to end her life. She never was told how slow her pulse became that night. She just remembers regaining consciousness at a hospital in Killeen, Texas — home to Fort Hood, where Freddy was based. She awoke with an IV plugged into her arm. A doctor handed her a list of local psychiatrists then discharged her.

Velez tried, she said, to seek help for her deepening depression but was told that her health insurance would not cover counseling.

Her grief was rooted in a difficult childhood, she said, that forged "tighter than tight" emotional bonds between Velez and her two brothers, turning the siblings into a mutual support group.

“When Freddy passed away, I went through a really hard depression,” she said. “I went to the emergency room for anxiety attacks. I couldn’t breathe. But nobody knew how to deal with me so they just gave me Ativan (an anti-anxiety drug) and Hydrocodone (a pain killer).

“I started drinking heavily and taking the prescriptions. And one day, I just felt it would be better off if I wasn’t around and decided to take all of the pills. Grief can bring you to that breaking moment.”

Soon after, in February 2005, Andrew sent his older sister (then 25) an email: “We need to be stronger. We need to protect each other.”

Though he was the youngest of the siblings, Andrew always was “the strong one,” his sister said. “But he and Freddy were inseparable.” Near the end of 2005, Andrew told his sister he was redeploying to Afghanistan because, she said, “I think he felt closer to Freddy there.”

From March through July of 2006, the two swapped calls and emails. In Afghanistan, Andrew grew increasingly despondent, she said, over the unraveling of his marriage and family in Lubbock. He had three children. But he worried, too, about his sister’s state of mind.

“We could both hear it in each other’s voices. He was scared I was going to do something. I was scared he was going to do something.”

He did. Andrew’s suicide on July 25, 2006, drove Monica, at first, into 20-hour workdays at a domestic violence shelter. She wasn’t sleeping or eating. Eventually, she was drinking again, “from the morning until I passed out,” she said. “Then, doing it again the next day.

“I completely lost myself. I resigned my job. I stopped paying my bills. I got evicted. I was prescribed anti-depressants. I noticed taking the pills and drinking got me out of the emotions. So I found myself in a dangerous place very quickly.

“Again — several trips to the ER (for overdoses). I’m not sure why I wasn’t ever held there. In my down periods, I would tell myself it would just be better off if I was gone.”

In 2008, a friend at Fort Hood, Texas, connected Velez with the Tragedy Assistance Program For Survivors (TAPS), a resource for anyone who suffers the loss of a military loved one.

“That was the first time anybody had offered to help me with the depression and the grief.” she said.

'Family units breaking down'
Kaufmann, who lost three Army-spouse friends to suicide, argues that military-family suicides should be tracked and researched by the Department of Defense to help mental-health experts begin to slow or stop the problem. She knows, however, such an accounting is not likely. 

“I get the sense that people in the military think that by including families into this kind of discussion — particularly when you’re talking about the (broader) mental-health impacts on family members — they look at that as something that will only add to the problem. Whereas, we believe that it would prove to be a solution,” Kauffman said.

“We’ve approached this very myopically. More than half of soldiers are married. Soldiers come with families. And the military has a maddening way of both dismissing families and holding them accountable at the same time. It’s frustrating for us, not only when we’re trying to get our husbands help, but also when you have the family units breaking down,” she added. 

NBC News requested to speak with officials at the newly formed Department of Defense suicide-prevention office about the issue of suicides within military families and whether tracking is needed. A DOD spokeswoman said, however, that the office is only working to address active-duty suicides. The interview request was not granted.

Van Dahlen, meanwhile, believes that asking DOD to track military families is an unreasonable expectation to place on the agency when it already is facing budget cuts.

Even if the DOD wants to — and many of my colleagues there desperately would want to devote resources to this — those resources are not going to be there,” she said. Rather than putting "the screws to DOD" and doing "even more with even less," Van Dahlen believes public-private partnerships should be encouraged "to figure out how we can (address) this together."

'Like an airborne disease'
More than eight years after Freddy’s combat death, and more than six years removed from Andrew’s suicide, Monica Velez annually runs the Marine Corps Marathon in Washington, D.C., in honor of her fallen brothers.

Matt Slocum / AP file

Monica Velez cleans her brother's name, engraved in a memorial at Fort Hood, Texas.

But, now living in Austin, she acknowledges she still struggles with what she calls, “those thoughts.”

“There are days I’m still overwhelmed. And if I sit and think about it, I feel like I wouldn’t have to live through all this pain if I just let myself go. It doesn’t just go away. But you learn how to cope. You learn better coping skills,” she said, adding she gained those tools from TAPS.

Army officers at Fort Hood have occasionally asked her, she said, for ideas to help them prevent the rising military suicide rate. She watches that tally, too.

“The numbers take my breath away. I know it can be overwhelming for the Army generals on the other end of the table trying to figure this problem out. Because it’s like an airborne disease going through the building and you’re trying to figure out how to stop it before it gets to you," she said. 

“But it’s coming at a really fast rate, and it’s inevitable.”

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